Defining And Re-Defining Our Purpose

In this meditation, we consider how we might define - or redefine - our purpose in life, something we all need to consider and reconsider from time to time. The task can be assisted by the use of a Whole Life Grid resembling the segments of an orange. Why not give it a try?
Background music: Good Morning Nature by Narek Mirzaei of Music of Wisdom

Transcript

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances,

But only by lack of meaning and purpose.

Viktor E.

Frankl Dear friends,

In this meditation we are going to consider how we might define or redefine our purpose in life.

Something we all need to consider and reconsider from time to time.

The Dalai Lama tells us,

Every day,

Think as you wake up.

Today,

I am fortunate to be alive.

I have a precious human life.

I am not going to waste it.

I am going to use all my energies to develop myself,

To expand my heart out to others,

To achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.

I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.

I am not going to get angry or think badly about others.

I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

Let's have a one minute pause.

Welcome back.

These words of the Dalai Lama wouldn't be a bad formula for life.

They are a help when we come to think about setting our goals and defining our purpose.

So now let's have a look at our subject for this meditation.

Isn't it so important to determine and redetermine our purpose from time to time?

Without maintaining this sense of direction,

We will tend to drift along,

Just getting by day by day,

Rudderless,

Hopefully not doing any harm,

But falling short of the great possibilities arising from the unique contribution that each of us can make in this world.

It might sound pompous to think that any of us here can make a meaningful contribution to the world.

But the fact is that we can.

Each of us,

Each one of us,

Has the capacity to do something.

When you stop to consider the extraordinary truth that we are here,

The amazing fact that we each have this gift of existence,

You cannot but realise how important it is that this life of ours wouldn't be wasted,

That we could let it run away like water flowing out of a bath.

This is not to say that many of us here will make a world-changing contribution,

Even though it would be great to think that some of us here might just do that.

Initiate a project,

Find an invention that could change human life for the better.

Just imagine.

Let us hope and pray and believe that that might just come to be the case for some of us.

But more than likely,

Our contributions will be a lot more modest than this.

None of us are expecting a Nobel Prize.

Still,

We don't need to be awarded a Nobel Prize in order to believe that the life we have lived has been worthwhile.

Our collaboration with life could be as simple as what is suggested to us in these words by Bessie Anderson Stanley.

To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation.

To know that even one life has breathed it easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Not a bad formula for life and easily achievable.

Many of us will have come across a grid which is set out in a form that looks like the segments of an orange,

Sometimes called a whole life grid.

These grids are designed to help us live a balanced life.

In this type of matrix,

You will see several named sections.

Headings like spirituality,

Family,

Intellectual,

Rest,

Health,

Relationships,

Money,

Career,

Fun.

That type of division.

Life balance charts like this are intended as a nade to prevent our lives being lived in a lopsided type of way.

With all our attention focused in one or two directions to the neglect of other obligations and possibilities.

Now all our personalities are very different of course.

It may not suit each and every one of us to divide our attention over,

Say,

Eight sections.

As is suggested by the creators of some of these charts.

Some of us will find we would live what we would consider to be a reasonably balanced life by concentrating maybe on,

Say,

Four areas.

But in today's session,

We will have a look at eight of the common segments and see if this will help us make a choice for ourselves.

These reflections might help us to visualize the life we might wish to live.

We begin by thinking of spirituality.

A heading which seems to be fundamental when it comes to defining our purpose.

When we talk about life balance segments,

We could think of the segments of an orange and with some of the segments of an orange and with spirituality,

The skin of the orange.

Dr.

Maya Spencer tells us that spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself,

Something more to being human than sensory experience,

And that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature.

Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond the mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression.

It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of life in our universe.

Ideas there from Dr.

Maya Spencer.

Spirituality invites us to consider the fundamental questions.

It challenges us to seek to find a purpose for our being here.

The answers may always elude us,

But the questions are all important.

And there are questions that we can ask,

That we have to ask and re-ask time and time again in the course of our lives.

Just as we ask the GPS in our car to resume suggesting the way even when we have decided to deviate from the route originally worked out by that gadget.

And why this need to redirect ourselves?

Because our ideas and beliefs can change.

They must change over time.

And so they should because we are thinking beings.

Which gives us the purpose of this exercise today.

A fundamental issue is that we establish in our minds a spiritual motivation that will be the framework for our lives.

It might be dedication to God or for non-believers,

Dedication to the planet itself or a humanistic dedication to improving the lot of the people who are trying to survive here.

This commitment,

Whatever we decide it to be,

Will act as a framework just as a scaffolding supports a building and just as our skeleton holds our bodies together.

Spirituality could be described as the skin wrapped around the segments of an orange.

Our first task is to look at the skin.

Our next task will be to look at the segments within.

And we'll begin our examination after another pause for reflection.

Welcome back.

This overall framework that we mentioned before the pause needs to be padded out and put into practical effect by looking at the segments of the life balance chart.

Maybe taking a look first at the team of family,

Our spouse,

Our partner,

Parents,

Siblings,

Children and so on.

Unless these relationships have completely collapsed and sometimes they do,

We have to see dedication to a loving family as a very important aspect of our lives.

These are our people.

If we can't look out for one another in our family,

Where will we begin?

This doesn't mean that we blindly concentrate on family to the exclusion of all else.

We need balance and that's why we divide our attention and our commitment into these segments.

But to take an example,

A simple example,

If we are in a committed relationship,

We need to give care and attention to the other partner.

Pulling our weight,

Giving the gift of our time,

Being there for the other person.

We need to do this if the relationship is to prosper,

If the relationship is to mean anything at all.

The fourth segment we've considered,

Family.

Another segment that requires thought is our intellectual development and our mental health.

Under this heading,

We need to pay attention to learning and opening our minds to new ideas.

Keeping open to the new helps our mental well-being.

So we are encouraged to expand our horizons and to introduce ourselves to new possibilities through reading and consistent learning.

We need to deliberately break new ground if our thinking is not to fall into a rut.

In this effort,

We must overcome any natural tendency to laziness.

We need to allocate time to keep ourselves mentally alert so that the new is regularly proposed to our minds.

It has been said that the first laws of education require that the student be gradually led on into unknown territory.

When the new is no longer proposed to the mind,

The process of education has ceased.

So segment number two,

Intellectual development and mental health.

Let's have a pause for reflection now before we move on.

Just a one minute pause.

Welcome back.

Now on to segment number three of our imaginary orange.

This one is easier said than done.

Because the idea here is to rest.

Take it easy.

Take time to do nothing.

We fear doing nothing in a world where our intrinsic value seems to be based on how busy we are.

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

If I'm run off my feet is the expected answer.

It takes courage to say that we are deliberately doing nothing.

But we do need to step off the treadmill and find time for absolute relaxation.

Relaxation with no agenda.

Doing nothing is a very difficult thing in a world such as ours.

Where we are awash with technology offering us distraction after distraction at the press of a button.

Steven Spielberg reminds us that technology can be our best friend and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives.

It interrupts our own story.

Interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream.

To imagine something wonderful.

He says we are too busy on our cell phones as we walk from the cafeteria back to the office.

Segment number three.

Make time each day to do nothing.

The next segment we want to think about is our health and how we can preserve it.

Yes accidents can interfere with our good health but good health doesn't happen to us by accident.

We need to play our part.

Although we are not in full control of how our health will work out there are steps we can take to increase our odds to give ourselves a better chance.

We can eat a healthy diet.

Doctors tell us to use less salt and eat less sugar.

We are urged to reduce our intake of harmful fats to avoid the harmful use of alcohol and there is no one who'll tell you that it's a good thing to smoke or take drugs.

If we have any of these bad habits we owe it to ourselves to work to break them.

We need to be more active as well.

Many of us are in sedentary jobs jobs that don't provide sufficient activity in the course of a day's work.

We have to deliberately introduce activity by varying the work position and especially by taking regular breaks to get up and move around.

Sitting has been described as the new smoking a silent killer.

And we are told that it is no remedy for our health problems caused by sitting if we just get up for a one hour bout of exercise a day.

That token effort isn't enough to offset the damage caused by prolonged sitting.

We need to become more active in the course of each day.

By now we've all heard this magic figure of 10,

000 steps.

Now I hear that 5,

000 steps a day is a valuable help with every little bit more helping too.

As someone said the other day does this mean that if you keep walking you would never die?

Seriously though it goes without saying that at the first sign of something out of order we should get it checked.

Don't put off a visit to the doctor or dentist.

But what if it's bad news?

Then surely the sooner we get walking on it the better.

Segment number four make time to take care of our health.

Let's have another 60 second pause for reflection.

Welcome back again.

Segment number five reminds us of the importance of relationships in a balanced life.

Only hermits would be happy to live a hermit's life.

Some of us are shy and retiring by nature and it's against the grain for us to put ourselves out there.

Everything in us rails against the idea of attending that social event.

Most of us suffer from a fear of rejection.

Some people here may have come across the book by John Powell Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?

In this book John Powell explains how we can be more emotionally open.

He points out how we adopt rules and play psychological games to protect our inner selves.

But he tells us that the courage to be our real selves can be developed and we can begin to grow by making the effort.

We know that social life is good for us.

It's good to be with people.

The world is said to be suffering from an epidemic of loneliness just now.

Someone needs to make the first move.

If we feel frozen by shyness it helps if we try to concentrate less on how shy we feel and think instead of improving the social life of the other person.

That might help.

Segment number five Work to build relationships.

In this next segment we look at money.

We have all heard the old Beatles song Money can't buy me love and of course it can't.

We know money can't bring us happiness.

We need to establish a reasonable relationship with money.

We must never drift into the idea that all will be well if only we can have a certain amount in the bank.

How many people have wasted their lives and their health labouring after money for its own sake only to realise that the money earned cannot bring back good health.

We all need enough money to get by and to provide a little security for a rainy day.

If we don't have that comfort we will be under stress.

We need enough money for our needs even if not enough to satisfy all our wants.

Our wants are unlimited.

If we are fortunate or maybe unfortunate enough to have a small fortune if we have more than we need the best thing we can do is to ensure that the excess is put to good use.

Remembering the old saying there are no pockets in a shroud.

You may remember too the Dalai Lama who said when asked what surprised him most about humanity his answer was man because he sacrifices his health in order to make money then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health and then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn't enjoy the present.

The result being that he does not live in the present or the future.

He lives as if he's never going to die and then dies having never really lived.

Words from the Dalai Lama.

So segment number six treat money as a friend don't fall helplessly in love with it.

Let's take another opportunity for reflection just one minute before we move on to numbers seven and eight.

Welcome back.

Segment number seven talks to us about our career.

The job we do for a living is such a part of all our lives.

So many hours in a day so many days in a week and for so many years.

We should try if at all possible to earn our living by doing work we love.

If the job is not one we love can we change jobs?

Or can we introduce some element into the work that will make it more worthwhile?

Can we bring ourselves to the point where we can honestly say that if we won the lotto we will continue happily doing the work we're doing today.

If we love the work we do the reality is that we will never labour for a day in our entire lives.

What a happy life that would be.

Wayne Dwyer tells us doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.

And we don't all have to be particle physicists in order to have an engaging life.

There's the wonderful quote from Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper go out and sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures.

Sweep streets like Handel and Beethoven composed music.

Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry.

Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth would have to pause and say here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.

Segment number seven love your job or find a job you love.

And finally segment number eight.

This reminds us to have fun.

Life is a serious business too serious to be taken seriously all the time.

We have to make space for fun and games.

Something we enjoy doing.

And try to make space for that enjoyment every single day.

Time for fun is not going to appear in our diary unless we put it to good use.

And there we have it.

The orange skin and a number of possibilities.

And I hope you enjoyed this video.

I'll see you next time.

Segments within Why the skin?

We need the overall protective covering setting the overall purpose giving an overall sense of direction.

Why the segments?

While in the skin we have the overall purpose setting the overall aim of our existence.

But life requires more than a framework.

Yes there is the framework but that needs to be worked out in the hustle and bustle of our days.

And that is where the segments come in.

Like the skin of an orange like the spokes in a physical wheel held together in a circle.

The edge keeps the whole in balance.

It keeps everything together allowing the wheel of life to roll along.

And now a closing thought.

How often in these meditations do I find myself falling back on words from the wonderful Mary Oliver and today is no exception.

In the last line of her well-known poem The Summer Day she asks tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

This question is addressed to me and to you.

So now what is it that you and I plan to do with this our wild and precious life?

To decide on the answer we need to pause every now and then.

Check our direction of travel.

Take stock.

Take a moment to define and redefine our purpose.

Dear friends may each of you be blessed in finding the purpose of your life.

Namaste

Reviews

I continue my Tony Brady marathon ! Thank you and especially love the last line of the Mary Oliver poem ! So grateful !

Today I will not cut my orange in half. I will peel it and ponder the segments of my life. Thank you, Tony, for choosing this analogy.

A beautiful way to walk through how to approach our lives. Many thanks. 💕🌸

I have missed your lessons on Insight. Thank you , Tony. I will listen again and again🙏🏼❣️

This was so perfect to think about om this snowy day; the seasons of nature parallel to the seasons of life. Thank you Tony 🙏🏻🌺

So worthwhile to take time to reflect on this. Thank you Tony

Dear Tony, what a wonderful meditation. Lots to think about. I so love the pauses you have during your meditations. Thank you so much. 🙏💖🌟🕊🦋

Thoughtfully, composed and thought-provoking guidance. Life gets long, but stays interesting and rewarding when we regularly assess and adjust our relationship to it.
Thank you, Tony!
Donna