Buddha's Eightfold Path - 1 - Reflections On Right Speech

Right Speech is one of the practices encouraged in the Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path. What we say and how we say it can have consequences for good or ill. It is a virtue that we need to practice as part of our effort to leave this world a little better than we found it. In this meditation, we are offered encouragement for this important task.
Background music is "Heaven is Here" by Music of Wisdom.

Transcript

Dear friends,

Welcome to this meditation where we are going to take a look at Right Speech.

Right Speech is one of the eight principles that we receive in what is known as the Eight Noble Truths in the Buddhist tradition.

Like many of the principles given to us in religion and philosophy,

These are practices which,

If we could only apply them,

Would make a great difference to the way we live our Jesus that we love one another.

And in the case of Christianity,

The well-known quote to the effect that Christianity has not been tried and found wanting.

Christianity has been found difficult and not tried.

And so what is the case with the Eight Noble Truths in Buddhism?

We find them difficult but let's see if we can begin with Right Speech.

But before we begin,

Let us take a few conscious breaths to help us become really present.

You probably know the formula using words such as breathing in,

I am aware that I'm breathing in.

And the same as we breathe out,

Breathing out,

I am aware that I'm breathing out.

Let's have a one-minute breath in this way to help us to become really present.

Welcome back.

And for the next minute,

Just 60 seconds,

What I'd like you to do is this.

This time as you breathe in,

Think of the words I am.

And as you breathe out,

Think of the word grateful.

So breathing in,

I am.

And breathing out,

Grateful.

And for 60 seconds,

Think of the things that we have going for us.

All the things in our lives that we receive.

Welcome back.

So now let us consider the question of mindful speech,

The first principle we will look at in the Noble Eightfold Path.

Be a light in the darkness,

Speak healing words,

Says Alex Kukuyo in a book called Perfectly Ordinary – Buddhist Teachings for Everyday Life.

Be a light in the darkness,

Speak healing words.

This is what we would all like to do.

The Buddha defined right speech as abstinence from false speech,

Abstinence from malicious speech,

Abstinence from harsh speech,

And abstinence from idle chatter.

We are urged only to say what is true,

And naturally we should refrain from telling lies or misleading people.

We should speak only in ways that encourage harmony and goodwill.

The words we use should help to promote peace and cooperation.

So we need to be mindful of what we say,

And also mindful of how we say it so that whatever we do say will be positive and useful.

We have to remember too that speech doesn't only refer to the spoken word.

It also refers to all the ways in which we communicate.

Think of text messages,

Emails,

Letters,

What we put out on social media.

Speech includes statements,

Interviews,

And public comments.

All these can be an influence for good,

Or they can be words that do the opposite.

Our words have an effect on the people who hear or read them.

That effect can be good or bad.

So we need to be mindful of what we say and how we say it.

Sometimes we speak without considering the possible consequences.

We can speak out in anger or in frustration.

Feelings of anger and frustration are normal.

They arise in all our lives from time to time,

But hopefully not too often.

But when we are in these dark moods,

It's better not to speak.

Getting off steam when we are in bad humour won't help the situation.

Another quote,

Don't mix bad words with your bad mood.

You have many opportunities to change a mood,

But you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.

That quote is from an unknown author.

Sometimes we speak so as to make ourselves seem more important or more knowledgeable,

And that's not helpful or wise speech.

And we have to remember too that once we say something,

The words cannot be called back.

The words have been set free,

Released.

This is bad enough if what we say is spoken.

Spoken words might just be forgotten over time,

Although words that are hurtful and ill-considered will not easily be forgotten.

The hurt caused by what we say can be ongoing,

And it can cause ongoing pain.

Another quote,

This is from Rachel Wolchin.

Be mindful when it comes to your words.

A string of some that don't mean much to you may stick with someone else for a lifetime.

But our words in written form can be even more damaging.

They are there forever for all to see.

Think of the damage caused by false news,

By rumours,

By unsubstantiated theories being put out as facts,

Words that tend to cause division and discord.

Dealing with these situations calls for special care.

We need to avoid the tendency to generalise.

We need to avoid slogans which sometimes,

Through carelessness,

I've used myself.

The tendency to tar everyone who disagrees with us with the one brush,

Instead of treating them as individuals with their own views,

Sometimes very sincerely held.

Individuals who might be brought around to our way of thinking if they are treated with loving kindness and urge to objectively examine all the facts.

And to remind ourselves as to how we should speak about other people,

We have another quote,

This time from Jan Ives Lalu in the book Compassion and Meditation,

The spiritual dynamic between Buddhism and Christianity.

Speaking with words that bring about harmony consists of speaking of what is good about people instead of what is wrong with them.

For some people this is an almost impossible exercise,

For they have become totally habituated to speaking critically.

We all seem to have a special talent for finding critical things to say about the world,

About others and about ourselves.

It has been suggested that before we speak we should carefully consider what we are about to say and see if we will pass these tests.

Is it true?

If it is not true it shouldn't be said.

Is it necessary?

If it is not necessary why say it at all?

Is it kind?

Why say something that is unkind?

And there are what are called the five keys to right speech.

It is spoken at the right time.

It is spoken in truth.

It is spoken affectionately.

It is spoken beneficially.

It is spoken with a mind of loving kindness.

The five keys to right speech.

The simple message is to always think mindfully before we speak.

There is another way in which our speech can be helpful or not.

Notice the good or bad example people receive from our speech.

Think of how children absorb what they hear their parents saying.

Robert Fulgham tells us,

Don't worry that children never listen to you.

Believe that they are always watching you.

This is so true.

Children are watching and they are listening.

They don't ever seem to be listening when we ask them to do something,

You know that for a fact.

But you can be very sure that they will be listening and they will hear us arguing with one another.

And they will hear us speaking rudely or impatiently on the phone.

Children learn by example.

Our example.

Another quote again by an author unknown.

The tongue has no bones but is strong enough to break a heart.

So be careful with your words.

Let's take another pause now,

Again just one minute.

And this time to think about words that we have used ourselves which we have come to regret.

Now this is not being done in order to bring up feelings of guilt.

It's just a reminder to us of the care we should take and the lessons we can learn from our own past mistakes.

Welcome back.

And then there is bullying.

How many times have we heard of people who have been harmed by bullying?

Bullying causes untold injury.

Especially to young people who may not have the life experience to be able to cope with it.

We all know of cases where bullying has led young people to suicide.

People as young as 12 years of age.

Tragic.

Hard to believe.

Bullying is the opposite of mindful speech.

We need to do all we can to discourage it.

And to warn of its dangers.

And we need to support people who are affected by bullying.

We can do this by spreading the message that the opinions of other people are simply that – opinions.

And very often they are outside opinions which have no basis in fact.

So let's do what we can to support people affected by this practice.

Another quote from Jan Ives LaLoupe mentioned earlier.

Mention of silence reminds us that right speech also involves mindful listening.

Very often we only have listened to the other person.

We see that all the time.

We are all guilty of it,

Myself included.

Just waiting for that opportunity to jump in as soon as the other person takes a breath.

Jumping in like that is not an example of mindful speech.

Jumping in like that compares to taking something that has not been offered.

This is something we will discuss later on in another session on the Noble Eightfold Path when we talk about not stealing.

Jumping in at the wrong time is stealing time that is due to the other person.

So we have to watch ourselves when that temptation arises.

In our efforts at right speech we needn't be discouraged if we slip up.

Right speech can be very challenging and it's easy to slip up.

It's all very fine to talk about right speech when we are sitting here in meditation.

When we are discussing it in theory with people who are on the same wavelength as ourselves.

It is another matter when we are trying to practice this in the real world.

Another quote.

If we understood the power of our thoughts we would guard them more closely.

If we understood the awesome power of our words we would prefer silence to almost anything negative.

In our thoughts and words we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths.

Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts.

We can always replace negative with positive.

That quote is from Betty Eadie.

And that quote reminds us that controlling our speech is almost as difficult as controlling our thoughts.

To practice mindful speech when we are in the middle of a conversation or discussion is a very difficult thing to manage.

We can easily fall back into the habit of mindless speech.

Mindless speech is speech that doesn't take into account what the consequences might be.

Someone might say something that we disagree with.

There's the natural urge to contradict so what do we do?

Off we go.

Another difficulty we all have to manage is silence.

Uncomfortable silence.

You know the feeling.

We find silences in conversation very uncomfortable.

And we can be tempted to break the silence by saying something,

Anything that comes into our heads.

To help us to cope with these moments of silence we can simply remember it is ok to speak less.

And it is ok to say nothing.

If we speak less we can hopefully speak with more meaning and the little we do say might even have more effect.

In all this we have to remember to be gentle with ourselves.

Let us resolve to simply do our best.

Don't let us beat ourselves up or allow ourselves to be discouraged by any slip up.

Mindful speech is important,

Much too important to allow ourselves to be discouraged by failure.

A slip up,

When it happens,

Can be just like having a fall on the footpath.

What do we do when we have a fall?

We pick ourselves up,

We brush ourselves off and we continue on our journey.

But of course as the journey proceeds we look out and we do try not to fall again.

Our final quote today comes from John Keating.

No matter what anybody tells you,

Words and ideas can change the world.

Let's remember that quote before we end this meditation with a Buddhist blessing.

Just as the soft rains fill the streams,

Pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,

So may the power of every moment of your goodness flow forth to awaken and heal all beings.

Those here now,

Those gone before,

Those who have passed on,

Those who have passed on,

Those who have passed on,

Those who have passed on,

Those who have passed on,

Those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,

May your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled,

As completely shining as the bright full moon,

As magically as if by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,

May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.

May you enjoy fulfilment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,

Who follow the wisdom and compassion of the way,

May your life prosper in the four blessings of old age,

Beauty,

Happiness and strength.

Namaste.

Reviews

Well Tony, you delivered a message I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for this important reminder concerning “right speech”. It is so easy to fall into complaining, perseverating, one upping, and generally, allowing far too much rhetoric and hate speech to come out of our faces. Mindful speech, indeed, requires much more silence in which to consider whether what we are about to say, is true, necessary, and kind. Thank you! ❤️

Thank you for this kind teaching on mindful speech. 🙏🏻

Wow! The practice is beautifully explained. It is one of the best explanations I have heard on Right Speech. Thank you 🫶🏽

This is what I need to listen to about once a month. Thank you, Tony, for another gentle teaching and reminder. .

Soothing, calming, encouraging, and helped me believe I can actually practice right speech if I set an intention to do so.

Love the Irish Buddhist blessing at end of this talk!

Very good. Very informative as well.
Thank you very much !!

A delightful and gentle reminder to speak carefully and kindly.

Thank you for the postive reflections on mindful speech and its qualities. It reminds us to mind our words and cherish silence if need be. Namaste 🤓🙏🏻

Thank you! Something I shall continue to work on, probably for the rest of my days.

Dear Tony, thank you for sharing your wonderful kind and deep words.
Today my friend came and we both listened and enjoyed your warm hearted meditation...
Your uplifting kindness made us smile and very happy 😊
So grateful to have found you

Thank you, Tony. Helpful as always 🌟 Wishing you well.

What a wonderful way to begin a weekend! I always feel fullness in my heart & a robust calm in my body when I listen to Tony! 🙏🏻

Will be paying way more attention to my words! Brightest Blessings!

Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. This is a really important message 🙏🙏🙏

I am grateful for the reflections on Right Speech. Thank you. 🌺🌸

Wonderful blend of Eastern and Western truths. Kindness in word and thought and the occasional timely silence can indeed change the world.

So sweet and kind in explanation of "Right Words".
I am*grateful.

Beautiful meditation! Thank you so much, Tony! Namaste 🙏

Thanks Tony. A wonderful reflection. 🙏