I'm going to lead you in a meditation to help you connect with some of the common inner critics that our systems often have using an internal family systems approach.
As we begin,
I invite you to get settled.
Notice where your body is touching or you're sitting.
It's best to have both feet on the floor if you can.
You can close your eyes if you'd like to,
If that's weird or uncomfortable and you'd like to keep your eyes open.
That's okay,
Just let your gaze rest softly.
Two or three feet in front of you.
Take a couple deep cleansing breaths.
Just begin to notice your inner world,
Your inner family and parts,
Thoughts,
Feelings,
Actions,
Impulses,
Beliefs,
Behaviors.
Just notice anything that may be coming up.
Maybe it's a sensation.
Just try to be curious and to welcome whatever's arising,
But also be aware of the resistance that may be coming up to what is arising and know that that's more than likely another part.
For this meditation,
Check in and see if you notice any of those common inner critics,
Like the perfectionist.
This is one of the most common types of inner critics and its positive intent is usually something around trying to get you to do things perfectly to protect you from the judgment of others.
Or maybe you can notice inner controller parts.
This critic is usually one that tries to control addictive impulses such as overeating,
Drinking,
Drugs,
Sexual activity.
Be aware too that the inner controller can often be polarized with a firefighter or reactive part who it fears will take you over and cause chaos at any moment.
And know that I encourage you to pause this recording as often as you need to.
Give your system the time that it needs if I don't allow enough time here.
Check in and see if you have any taskmaster parts or critics.
The taskmaster often pushes you to work hard to become successful in society.
Understandably,
It holds extreme fears that you may be lazy and that you'll be judged as a failure if the taskmaster doesn't keep you on task.
How about underminer parts and critics?
They will often try and undermine your efforts and drain your self-esteem so that you won't take any risks.
They're working hard to protect you from failure and negative feedback.
See if you can welcome these underminer parts.
Know that they're often younger parts that don't have the capacity to carry the burdens that they're carrying.
And they don't have to.
They're not alone.
They're a valuable part of the system,
But they're part of an inner team.
See if you notice the destroyer.
This may be one of the most destructive critics as it makes continued pervasive attacks on your self-worth,
Showering you with shame,
Making you feel inherently flawed.
Sometimes it's helpful to notice times when you're compulsively apologizing.
It's quite likely that the destroyer may be active in these moments.
See if you notice the guilt tripper.
This critic can take various forms.
On the one hand,
It may hold you accountable for hurting others by making sure that the behavior or action that you've done is often front of mind in the service that that behavior of action or action will not be repeated.
This part doesn't want you to be outcast.
And it often holds you to standards the best that it knows how of behavior set by your family,
Community,
Or cultural group.
And then finally,
The conformist can sometime be closely related to that guilt tripper or guilt tripper parts.
The conformist wants you to be part of a group and seeks to get you to be liked,
Admired as a way to protect against abandonment.
And this may be particularly true in families where being your true self have been discouraged or actively punished.
Check in again and notice perfectionist parts.
Inner controller parts,
Trying to control addictive impulses.
The taskmaster,
Pushing you to work hard to become successful in society.
Underminer parts,
Those parts that may be trying to undermine your efforts and drain your self-esteem so that you won't take any risks.
Destroyer parts,
Maybe this part is making continued pervasive attacks on your self-worth,
Showering you with shame or sending you into a shame spiral and making you feel flawed.
The guilt tripper,
The one that's holding you accountable for a behavior or action and keeping that at the front of your mind so that it doesn't happen again.
See if you can welcome that part and thank it for doing the best that it can.
Let it know it's not alone.
It's got you.
It's got resources that it may not know that it has.
Then the conformist part that wants you to conform to cultural and family norms.
Notice any other parts that may be reacting to these critics,
Or maybe there are other critics that make more sense for you that are coming up.
Just welcome them into the system,
Into this container,
And just expand it wider and wider if you can.
And we'll get ready to close for now.
So just see if there's anything else.
When it feels complete for now,
Thank your parts for all they've shared,
For their courage in coming forward.
Let them know that this doesn't have to be the last time that you spend with them.
If they'd like to spend more time,
You'd like that.
And make time for them.
Maybe contract on when you can spend more time with them today or tomorrow,
The next few days.
And when you feel ready,
You can transition back to where you are and open your eyes if they were closed,
And do what you need to do to ease out of this work and practice and take care of yourself.
Thanks to you and all your parts for your courage in joining me here.
Take care.
