And so today I'm going to talk just a bit,
Uh,
You've heard me talk about the concept of burdens here on the podcast,
And I'm going to talk about when burdens return.
I know many times when I see clients will have a beautiful unburdening process of parts,
And then they'll come back the following week.
And it's not uncommon to not remember a lot of what had happened.
And I've had some clients and their protectors,
They're really hesitant to unburden because they ask that question.
What if they come back?
And I know I have parts of mine that are a little apprehensive about that.
I want you to know that many times burdens don't come back and that can be very healing,
But in my work and my experience,
It's not uncommon for burdens to return.
So what do we do when that happens?
And in the context of IFS,
For those who,
Uh,
Maybe new to the podcast,
The concept of burdens refers to the emotional pain,
Negative beliefs,
Traumas carried by different parts of a person's internal world and psyche,
And these burdens can manifest as extreme feelings,
Behaviors,
Or thoughts that often stem from past experiences.
IFS aims to help individuals unburden these parts,
Leading to healing and greater internal harmony.
When burdens come back in IFS,
It generally indicates that a part of the person has not fully released its burden,
Or that the system has encountered stress,
New stressors,
Or triggers that have reactivated old patterns.
And here's some key points to understand about this phenomenon.
Let's look at some of the causes of returning burdens.
Number one,
Incomplete unburdening.
During the IFS process,
A part may not fully release its burden,
And this can happen if that part didn't feel fully heard,
Understood,
Or safe enough.
During the unburdening process.
Number two,
New triggers.
Life events or stressors can reawaken old wounds.
These triggers can remind parts of past experiences,
Causing them to reassume their burdens as a protective measure.
Number three,
Systemic imbalance.
If the internal family system becomes unbalanced,
It can lead to parts reverting to their burden states.
This imbalance can result from neglecting certain parts,
Lack of ongoing self-care,
Or new conflicts within the system.
And if you're having a very stressful time in your life,
Those burdens can resurface and return.
So just be aware of where you are in life right now.
And then finally,
Number four,
Protective part reactions.
Some protective parts might step in and reburden themselves if they perceive that the self or other parts are at risk.
There can be a sense of protector backlash,
And this can be an overreaction to perceive threats or stressors.
So it may be helpful to reengage those protectors,
Knowing that we can't rush past them in the unburdening process.
We need their permission.
We need to address all their fears and concerns before going to those exiles.
And when we are able to do that,
Those exiles can unburden.
And from my experience,
When those protectors witness that,
We go back to them and they can unburden too.
Let's look at some ways to recognize returning burdens.
First,
Increased internal conflict.
Noticeable increase in internal disagreements or struggles within your parts or polarizations there can be an indicator.
Another indicator is the reemergence of symptoms.
Old symptoms such as anxiety,
Depression,
Or anger may resurface.
And if you know you're in a hyper state of anxiety or anger,
And with me,
My anxiety leads to depression,
Then it is a good indicator that some of those burdens may have returned and remind your system that it's,
It's okay.
We want to meet them where they are and we can get curious,
Show compassion.
Those burdens can be let go again,
Even after they return.
And then finally,
On ways of recognizing returning burdens,
Emotional distress,
Experiencing a resurgence of negative emotions tied to past experiences.
So how do we address returning burdens?
After you've assured your system that it makes sense and it happens and it's okay.
The reality is that those burdens have returned.
So what do we do?
First,
You can re-engage in therapy or coaching.
Returning to IFS therapy or coaching can help re-address and re-process the burdens in a more intentional way and having someone guide and lead you in that.
And this allows the individual to explore why the burden has returned and what the part or parts that are burdened need now.
And second,
And this is a big one,
Increase self-compassion.
Cultivating a compassionate,
Curious attitude towards the parts,
Experiencing the resurgence and ensuring these parts feel heard and understood.
And this is crucial and it builds their trust so that they can soften back and not be burdened with the pain of the past when they start to take care and to jump in where these often younger parts were never meant to be in charge.
And that's freeing for them.
Number three,
Self-leadership,
Strengthening the self's leadership within the internal system.
The self should approach the parts with calmness,
Clarity,
And confidence among those other C's and other words that go along with those to re-establish or balance.
Then number four on the ways of addressing returning burdens is to identify and address triggers.
What keeps coming up?
Maybe there are some common things that can trigger you and how can you help alleviate or make those triggers less intense and understanding what internal or internal triggers cause the resurgence is helpful.
And working to mitigate these triggers can help prevent future occurrences.
Maybe it's setting some boundaries,
Saying no to some people that may be triggering or maybe it's something else,
But get curious and identify and address those rhythms that may lead to triggering and more of a burden system.
And then finally,
Ongoing self-care,
Regular practices of self-care,
Self-reflection can maintain internal harmony and prevent the reburdening of the part.
So maybe that is doing a parts check-in more regularly,
Taking a walk,
Picking up some hobbies and looking out and putting yourself first more and prioritizing what you need.
And so how do we prevent returning burdens?
Well,
First consistent check-ins,
Like I'd mentioned before,
Regularly checking in with different parts to ensure they feel supported and unburdened,
Building resilience,
Developing coping strategies and resilience to handle external stressors without triggering old burden.
And then finally,
Therapeutic support,
Continued support from a therapist or practitioner or support group to navigate ongoing challenges and maintain progress.
And before I wrap up,
Just let me summarize just a bit.
When burdens come back in the internal family systems process,
It's a signal that the internal system needs attention and we can alleviate many of the burdens returning if we continually check in with our parts and be aware of those parts in our day-to-day lives.
But sometimes burdens just come back and that's okay.
And when they do,
Addressing this resurgence with compassion,
Understanding and support can help reestablish balance and continue the healing journey.
