Let's talk about self and self-energy for a bit.
Self by definition is the seat of consciousness which is characterized by qualities such as perspective,
Presence,
Patience,
Playfulness,
And persistence.
We call these the five Ps and the IFS model.
There's also the eight Cs.
Calmness.
This is being centered and able to maintain a physical groundedness in the face of stressful situations,
Having a calm presence with other people,
And experiencing a spacious,
Peaceful,
Quiet inside.
Curiosity.
When we're curious,
We can be genuinely open about why other parts or other people are reacting as they do instead of being upset with them.
When we're curious,
There's an absence of agenda to change in others' behavior,
Wanting instead to genuinely understand it.
Compassion.
Seeing beyond others' angry or reactive parts and recognizing the fear or pain beyond them.
When we're compassionate,
We can feel or care for another who is suffering and in this process have a desire to help without being overwhelmed by their pain,
Their system,
And their parts.
Confidence.
Trusting that even if you've made mistakes,
There's an abiding knowledge that your truest self holds goodness and worth.
Internally self-trusts its competence.
Even when parts are angry or distrustful,
Self-confidence involves relating to parts and people in ways that are healing and effective.
Courage.
Approaching formerly feared parts or situations and respond more consciously.
When we're courageous,
It may mean standing up to injustice while also speaking for your own extreme parts and apologizing for the negative impact that they may have on others.
Clarity.
Maintaining a clear,
Undistorted view of situations and parts with an absence of projections.
Connectedness.
Feeling a sense of connection with all parts and other people or a desire maybe to reconnect.
Recognizing that all life is connected and that the sense of separateness is nothing but an illusion.
And then finally,
The eighth C of the eight Cs or qualities of self-leadership is creativity.
Being free to realize creative potential and to enjoy exploring new things.
Encouraging our protectors,
Whether they be managers or reactive firefighters,
To relax and allow parts to express themselves unencumbered by burdens of fear,
Worthlessness,
Or shame.
And there are many other qualities to describe self-energy and what it looks like when this energy is leading our lives and our systems.
When this energy is leading the external systems that are in the world.
These qualities are also good indicators that that's happening.
But in a nutshell,
Self describes the essence of you.
Underneath all of your protective and defensive adaptations and strategies,
Self is when you and I first came into the world.
The self is the only inner entity that is fully equipped to lead the internal family.
The concept of self can be framed in many different ways.
Buddha nature,
True self,
Core,
Essence.
From a Christian perspective,
It may be something like the beloved self or me and God together,
Being,
Working in a synergy and a wholeness,
But something higher,
A higher power being at work along with me.
And know too that all parts have aspects of self.
And when they're unburdened,
Those unburdened places can be filled with these C characteristics,
Things like playfulness and presence,
Patience.
That when these young parts know they don't have to carry the burdens anymore,
They can be unburdened,
Freed up to play.
The seven-year-old,
For example,
That I have,
Many seven-year-olds that just want to play and to let them know that they can play.
And they can also bring their gifts to me and my system.
And know if you just have one aspect,
Curiosity,
For example,
I'm found if I can be curious,
I have enough critical mass of self energy to lead to other things like calmness and compassion.
And so I hope that this was helpful.
Know that self energy are the perspectives and feelings that our self brings into the relationship with our parts into the world.
And we're self-led when we have the capacity to hear,
Understand,
And be present with parts and the parts of others,
If we can.
Acknowledging and appreciating the importance of their roles in the internal family system and with other people.
So thanks for checking this out for a bit.
Hope it was helpful and take good care of yourself and look for those qualities of self and see if it's in the lead of your life and in your system and the system of others.
All right,
Take good care.
