Welcome to another episode of IFS Meditations and Insights,
A podcast exploring personal growth through the lens of internal family systems.
I'm your guide on this journey,
Tim Fortescue,
A trained IFS practitioner dedicated to nurturing spiritual wholeness and healing.
In this compassionate space,
We delve into self-discovery,
Uncovering our inner wisdom.
When we embrace all parts of ourselves with love,
We can better receive divine love and extend it to others.
My hope is that these episodes illuminate your path,
Bringing you inner peace and a deeper connection to the sacred.
Together,
We'll learn how IFS gently transforms our relationship with ourselves,
God or the divine,
And the world around us.
In today's episode,
We're delving into a crucial topic,
Protector fears in plain language,
Because we want everyone to understand the significance of these guardians within us.
They're doing the best they can.
So settle in and open your heart and mind and let's dive into the transformative power of looking at the protectors and their fears inside of us from an IFS perspective.
Protectors play a crucial role in our inner world.
They're tirelessly working to keep us safe.
However,
This tireless work can become exhausting and these protectors can become stuck in their ways and hesitant to let go of control.
So why is it important to understand their fears?
Let's delve into this topic just a bit.
It's helpful to remember that protectors can be categorized as managers and firefighters.
Managers focus on controlling and organizing an individual's life,
Often exhibiting traits like perfectionism,
Responsibility,
And proactive decision-making.
On the other hand,
Firefighter parts rush in to extinguish emotional fires,
Resorting to quick coping mechanisms such as impulsive behaviors or self-harm or addictive tendencies.
Exile protectors aim to present painful emotions and memories from resurfacing by keeping vulnerable inner child parts,
Those exiles,
Locked away or pushed down.
Imagine one of your inner managers fixated on perfection,
Constantly striving for it.
Paradoxically,
This relentless pursuit leads to more mistakes.
It's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
These protectors though have valid reasons based on past experiences for their actions.
However,
IFS offers hope for a new path beyond these familiar coping strategies.
To connect with these protectors and help them loosen their grip,
Understanding their fears is vital.
It's akin to gaining their trust and permission,
Step by step,
And it can be a long process,
A slow process,
But we have to take time to gain the trust of these protectors,
Let them know that they don't have to bear the burdens that they carry alone.
So let's look at some of the common fears of protectors encountered in IFS.
Let's start with exile overwhelm.
Protectors fear that if an exile is revealed,
It will flood the system with negative emotions,
Making it difficult to function.
It's like falling into It's like falling into a deep pool of pain with no way out.
Managers,
On the other hand,
Worry that accessing vulnerable parts might trigger extreme firefighters who engage in self-harming behaviors,
Jeopardizing the person's safety or progress,
Especially if they have a history of rage,
Addiction,
Or extreme behaviors.
There's also the fear that the practitioner,
The coach,
The therapist won't be able to handle the intensity of an exile or another target part.
The protector doesn't want to risk further rejection because they've experienced this time and time again.
Additionally,
Protectors may fear losing external support.
They worry that inner work means self-sufficiency and a loss of support from their practitioner,
Their coach,
Their significant others.
There's also the concern that vulnerable work isn't safe if the external environment is still dangerous.
In such cases,
More focus may be needed on creating changes in the external environment to ensure safety.
Of course,
Protectors fear that inner work could reveal new secrets about the past,
Which could be overwhelming and lead to attachment loss or even punishment.
Then there's the fear of being eliminated,
Where protectors worry they'll lose their identity,
Their job,
Or power within this internal family or system if the exile is healed.
This can be particularly challenging for protectors who've had to take on difficult roles.
This is all they've ever done.
They may not like the job,
But they don't know how to exist without it,
And it's a valid fear.
Sometimes protectors become pessimistic,
Believing that the exile is nothing more than the burden it carries,
And they fear experiencing more disappointment.
They're not confident that the healing that needs to happen will happen,
And that's a valid fear that we need to respect and take into consideration.
Finally,
There's the fear of an exile getting hurt if protective walls or shields or veils are breached.
Protectors act as round-the-clock security guards,
Blocking access to keep the fragile exile safe.
They fear that being in touch with oneself could invite more danger or abuse,
Especially from external oppressive forces.
So to summarize,
Protectors fear that something worse might happen if they let go of their strategies,
The way they've always done things.
These fears can manifest in various ways,
But the essence of manager and firefighter fears often boils down to identity and functioning crisis.
For example,
Firefighters may fear overwhelming emotions and believe they're doing whatever it takes to survive.
Sometimes there might even be backlash after a session where a fragile exile is contacted.
This is when protectors react strongly,
Resorting to self-medicating,
Dissociation,
Or impulsive behaviors to cope with the pain.
Therefore,
It's important to anticipate this possibility and work with these parts to understand their concerns and build a collaborative relationship between yourself and your system,
Your external world,
Significant other or practitioner,
Therapist,
Or coach,
And your system.
In conclusion,
Understanding these protector fears is crucial for facilitating healing in internal family systems.
It's like helping them see a new way forward beyond their old coping strategies.
And remember,
It's a gradual process that requires earning their trust.
And I've found that in moving slower,
That I can move faster when the time comes and it makes sense and that I need to,
But we can't rush the process.
We've got to take it one step at a time.
