I'm Tim Fortescue,
A life coach coming alongside of folks in their personal and spiritual development.
And today I'm going to lead you through a guided meditation exercise that I get from Dick Schwartz's book,
No Bad Parts.
And the purpose is to help us get acquainted more with our protective parts and those parts that tend to be even more protective than some of our other parts.
And I'll be using the internal family systems approach.
If IFS is new to you,
Check out my recorded talk and meditation on the basic assumptions of IFS and you can find many other resources on the internet.
As we begin,
I invite you to get settled and know that if your system needs more time than I allow,
You can pause and restart this recording as often as you need to.
But as you get settled,
It's best to have both feet on the floor if you can.
Notice where your body comes into contact with the ground where you are.
You can close your eyes if you'd like to,
But if you'd prefer,
Just let your gaze rest softly in front of you.
Take a couple more deep breaths.
And as you continue to settle in and get comfortable,
Just let your attention go inward.
Begin to notice those thoughts,
Feelings,
Actions,
Impulses,
Beliefs that may be coming up.
And there's a motto in IFS that all parts are welcome.
That being said,
However,
There are some parts that we're more afraid of or ashamed of.
Schwartz says in his book that he believes that you can't grow up in the US or other countries with a long history of racism and not carry that legacy burden.
And I'd agree.
And as he says,
You can find some people from some countries that don't carry it,
But in general,
It's a pretty big burden that many of us carry.
And he tells a story that he loves that Desmond Tutu tells about getting on a plane and feeling proud to see that there were two black pilots.
However,
During the flight,
There was some technical trouble and Tutu caught himself worrying that there wasn't a white pilot.
No matter what your race is,
No matter how much anti-racism work you've done,
It's still likely that there's a part of you that still carries that burden.
And if you're like me,
It's hard to admit that you have racist parts.
I'm ashamed of these parts.
I find that in myself and with others and clients,
That if we respond to these parts by shaming them into exile,
We just create more implicit racism,
Which means even more blind spots and keeping the larger system of racism spinning.
So that's the part I'm inviting you to look at today,
The racist,
The one who harbors white supremacist beliefs and says nasty things in your head at times.
And I find that as many people do this,
Even those who honestly aren't aware of their own racism at first will find it if they're patient.
I'm not asking you to get close to that racist part.
I just want you to notice how you feel toward it.
And when another part speaks up,
Particularly a part that tells you to be ashamed or afraid of your racist part,
Just let that protector know that letting you get closer to the racist part will actually help it change and tell them that their exiling approach really doesn't work.
And for now,
It may be enough to acknowledge the racist part's existence and to commit to doing more work with someone who can help you.
Here's some reminders from the IFS perspective that may be helpful.
That inner racist is just a part of you.
Much of you isn't that way.
It's not some unworkable bundle of racism.
Like all your other protectors,
This part can unburden and transform too.
There's no shame in having this part.
Racism is a legacy burden that's pervasive in many,
Many cultures.
And if you're like me and a lot of other people,
This legacy burden permeates many parts.
So don't be disappointed if it doesn't totally disappear after you unburden one of these parts.
Eventually,
You may find that this racist part is a protector and you need to heal the exile it protects,
That shame and vulnerability among other things,
Before it will be able to let go of some of the burdens that it carries.
Or the part might simply be carrying the cultural legacy burden of racism,
And it will be more than willing to unload it when you let it know that that's possible.
And when you feel that you've reached a stopping place for now,
Thank your parts for all they've done.
Let them know that they're not alone,
That you want to spend more time with them if they'd like that.
Let them know when you can do this.
Thank them for their courage,
And take a couple deep breaths.
And when you feel ready,
You can transition back to where you are.
You can open your eyes if they were closed,
And do whatever you need to do to ease out of this work and to take care of yourself.
Thank you.
Well,
I consider myself to be pretty aware of the negative impacts of racism on my society.
I consider myself active and supportive of progressive movements,
Racial healing for a lot of my life.
However,
When I work more directly with my own racist parts,
I tend to find myself embarrassed to find the racist parts inside of me.
And it's been hard for me to heal my own inner woundedness so that I can bring about greater change.
My parts are often young and scared.
I don't think this is uncommon to me and my parts.
One of the goals of this exercise is to depolarize the discussion around racism in order to promote more openness and disclosure about what's really going on inside of us.
Until you can unburden your racist parts,
It's far better just to be aware of them.
And if you find one,
You can actively remind it in a compassionate way that you know it carries those beliefs.
But what it says and thinks isn't right.
The problem arises when we go to war against our inner racism.
Going to war against a part usually just strengthens it.
And when you exile it and pretend it's not there,
Usually you're just doing it to feel better about yourself.
I know I am.
Making it much harder to unburden it and to counter the potential harm that it might do.
And I encourage you to use a similar process with other parts you're ashamed of or fearful of.
Maybe the one that gives you embarrassing sexual fantasies or the part that secretly delights when your friends fail or the one who believes that men actually are superior to women.
We all have parts we don't want to admit to,
Even to ourselves.
And just like misguided external children,
They deserve to receive our guidance and love rather than our scorn,
Shame,
And abandonment.
So I hope this was helpful.
Thanks to you,
To all your parts for your courage and take good care of yourself.
Thank you.
