And for me,
The way that it's expressed in some way is a fear of an epic failure.
And that ego character just hasn't quite gotten the message yet what this is really about.
And that's fine.
It's a hard message for the ego to get to calm down,
Relax,
This isn't about you.
You know,
You say that I only have my past to kind of show me about the future and I always find it fascinating when we look at the past because what we're looking at is our degree of openness.
Right when we look at our past,
In one way we're telling a story of how much we either see or don't see God's work.
Because in one way,
You can look at the past and see how much nothing went how you thought it was going to be.
How much you didn't get what you wanted.
How much things might have failed.
The uncertainty.
And you can see amidst all of that you're still here and you're whole and you're complete.
And you can say,
Oh wow,
That will also be the future.
No matter what happens,
The one thing I was always afraid of,
Which was not being whole and complete,
Will never happen.
So it doesn't really matter what happens or doesn't happen.
It'll be what it's going to be.
And life in its infinite way will take care of me.
And just like in the past,
I will show up and do my best.
For me,
This is what surrender and letting go is.
It's just the acknowledgement that I don't know.
Sure,
I might have an idea.
I might have a vision.
But I've had 10,
000 of those.
And yet they've always been helpful.
More helpful if I hold them lightly.
Helpful in the way of helping me define my focus,
Where to put my attention.
Such things become a trap when we feel that they are demands or they should.
Become what we want.
That's not their purpose.
In one way,
I think the pain that comes with that,
That fear,
The uncertainty of it all,
I assume it's the same for you in some way.
That the more you get in touch with that,
It just points you towards the heart of God.
And where else is there to go?
That pain is like a direct line to heaven.
Come home.
Stop storing your treasures up on earth.
And for me,
The way that it's expressed in some way,
Is a fear of an epic failure.
And the more I tap into that,
It comes right back to this personhood,
This ego character.
And that ego character just hasn't quite gotten the message yet,
What this is really about.
And that's fine.
It's a hard message for the ego to get,
Right?
To calm down,
Relax.
This isn't about you.
And the more I'm honest about that being the issue,
Right?
The underlying fear and the pain,
I find it easier to relax.
Because the ego wants to tell me that the failure is in the world,
Right?
The pain and the fear is about something in the uncertain.
But really,
The failure and the pain is in the non-reality of my ego.
It's like the unknown of things is a truth that's very hard to bear for the ego.
And yet,
The unknown of things is the truth of life.
It just must be that way.
Because in the unknown is an open landscape of possibility.
And that infinite landscape of possibility is required for this whole life thing to function.
It simply has to be unknown.
Has to be unknown.
Now,
From a human standpoint,
We can get relatively good at telling stories of the known that help us calm down and help us relax.
And of course,
That can be a two-edged sword.
You know,
It speaks to why it's valuable to have purpose.
To be in touch with a mission for your life.
Do you see how that contributes to something that's a little bit known?
And then in that sliver of knowing,
You can reorganize your life attention and priorities to contribute more to that knowing.
It's like because I have purpose,
I playfully know what my day looks like tomorrow.
That's comforting.
Because I have goals,
I playfully know what my next year is going to look like.
I know why I'm here.
I know what the priority is.
And part of the game is,
Is that the world's going to try and throw me off of my priority.
And throw me back into that chaos of the world's unknown,
Rather than the God that is known,
Which is the deepest sincerity of my being,
Which is why I'm here.
I love that opportunity.
And man,
It's such a wiggly line of knowing why you're here.
Because sometimes it seems super obvious and then,
Oh my goodness,
Other times it seems like you're just a crazy person.
But the beautiful thing about it is,
No matter how much that line wiggles,
You find yourself always coming back to a common theme.
Some form of service.
Some form of not wasting this life and using it to add value to the lives of others.
Which is simply this sharing of love.
Why do you think God gave you all those challenges?
Those opportunities to experience a deeper depth so that you could keep it to yourself?
Check out my profile for upcoming retreats,
Live broadcasts,
Courses,
And other opportunities to open up,
Fear less,
And love more.
Your life is sacred.
Don't waste it hiding behind an adorable but imaginary fear.
It's time to show up.
