Everyone's got the same damn problem,
And that is that sense of inadequacy,
The feeling that I'm not enough,
The feeling that I'm missing something,
The feeling that I'm not loved.
These are all just different ways of saying the same thing.
And in the belief in that inadequacy,
It energizes a quest that tries to fix it.
But,
Of course,
It tries to fix it in the world.
It creates an image of how things need to be for you to be enough.
And so we say,
If only this,
If only that,
If only I were to be able to show up here and not feel terrible,
If only I were to show up here and not be distracted by all the noise,
Then that would give me a greater chance of solving the one problem.
And you see this attachment to outcome in,
Again,
Looking at my direct experience now,
Or looking at my whole past journey.
It's so obvious that this is the source of the anxiety,
That somehow circumstance is going to interrupt my search for wholeness.
And,
Of course,
Looking at these things,
You just see how impossible it is.
And I guess the more you understand that this is going on,
It becomes more and more obvious that that search can never be fulfilled in the world.
Like,
No matter how much you rearrange the surface,
If anything,
It can temporarily give you an illusion of completeness.
A great example of this is in relationships.
It's like the person who has that inadequacy and says,
Oh man,
If only I could find someone who loves me,
Then I would know that I'm lovable,
Then I would know that I'm enough.
And then they finally find someone where in appearances it looks like they love them and it looks like they've captured them,
Right?
This person has committed to them.
But it doesn't take long before we have to encounter the real unknown about it all.
And then you start realizing,
Wait,
What about tomorrow?
Are they going to be here tomorrow?
And so we go back into this fear loop that fears losing the thing that we think we found,
The thing that presents a solution to the problem that we had,
And we don't want to lose that solution.
Which is so interesting,
Because the thing that you got,
That you said would solve the problem,
You now fear losing it,
Which puts you right back in the same problem.
And so no matter what it is we are chasing in life to solve this problem of inadequacy,
The more you think the solution to the problem is the thing outside,
Then even if it seems like you get the thing outside,
You'll become afraid of losing the thing.
Which makes it very difficult to just enjoy where you are.
And so in my experience,
In this work that I do,
If I were on a quest to find my worth and value in a particular image of my work,
Then I would be really bothered by not being able to show up here with you in a particular way that I want to and with a particular environment.
But in seeing that the whole quest is silly,
Presents an invitation to just show up and let be what is.
Meaning,
If I show up and the dogs are barking,
Then that's what's happening today.
If there's construction going on,
Then that's what's happening today.
And you know what's interesting about this?
Is the more that I'm just okay with it,
The more I'm not arguing with it,
There's a flow that can emerge.
Sure,
It might not look how I want it to look,
But there's still a flow that I'm tapped into.
And this flow is so deeply tied to a letting go of outcome that is just a great allowing for things to be what they are.
And of course,
This ties in with one's capacity to see the truth of their own nature.
Because again,
Like I said,
The dynamic of suffering for human beings is deeply tied to a sense of identity.
But if your identity is wrapped up in the world,
Which is future outcome,
Which is the mind's content,
Then it's eternally going to feel insecure.
But the more you see the nature of what you really are and that it's not touched by all this mental noise,
Then it becomes that much more difficult to be disturbed by what's going on in the world.
And so,
As I'm here with you now engaging this,
This is the exercise in the practice that I am invited to engage in.
It's what I'm reminded of,
Especially as I take that minute before I start and just be still.
It's like a great release of outcome.
Like,
Oh yeah,
This doesn't need to end up a certain way.
This doesn't need to reach a particular destination.
I can just be here.
And that's okay.
That's enough.
Because you see that,
That's enough.
And if it's not looking how my mind wants it to be,
And there's the attachment to outcome,
Then the mind says,
No,
This isn't enough.
But again,
Beyond all that noise,
It just is what it is.
