Life Is Play - Beyond Your Serious Judgments

In this session, I’m breaking down why life’s judgments are, frankly, a big (cosmic) joke that separates you from Life. We dive into how the mind creates an illusion of seriousness—imaginary points and reasons to judge that weigh us down. Watch this video if you’re ready to see through that nonsense and reconnect with a lighter, more playful reality. Here’s your invitation to step back, see life clearly, and maybe even laugh at how seriously the mind takes itself.

Transcript

To see that it is playful is to remove all of the judgment that says it's serious.

Playful is what remains in the absence of the judgment.

And you can also say playfulness is what remains in the absence of a projected seriousness.

And for there to be seriousness,

It implies there are points to be lost in the future.

And when you see those points are imaginary,

Then there's no fear of losing those points,

Which means it would be impossible for this to be serious.

This human thing,

My goodness,

I'm fascinated by our determination to complicate things.

Not that we do it intentionally,

And it's understandable because of the illusion of 10,

000 things.

There's so much content in the mind,

So many labels,

So many names for things,

So many stories.

And as we try to navigate those 10,

000 imaginary things,

Underneath all of that is a profound simplicity.

And it's a simplicity that honestly can't be adequately talked about,

Because we just tend to complicate it as we talk about it.

But there is something profoundly simple.

And of course,

This is my playful effort in my work to use language,

Use this modality of holding space to point to that simplicity,

And allow ourselves to connect with it in a way that allows us to open our heart,

Live with less fear,

And connect with more love.

And today I want to talk about judgment.

Because judgment,

Whether we realize it or not,

For the human being,

Is so often an integral part of the experience,

Where there is unconsciously a constant stream of judgment.

And this judgment in a playful way is doing an enormous amount of damage as it relates to as it relates to us having the opportunity to connect with what we really crave.

And so I want to speak about this a bit spontaneously,

But the way I want to go into it is to share something that I just wrote a few moments ago and posted online.

I feel like it'll help set the tone for where we go in this exploration.

But it says the following.

Judgment creates a separation where there is none.

Judgment says,

There is me,

And then there is that something out there that I am judging.

Judgment is to proclaim that you are separate from life.

You see,

This isn't about what you do to others when you judge them.

It's about what you do to yourself.

In fact,

This in part is why we need not worry about the apparent judgment from others.

Because whenever someone judges,

They are sharing how they see themselves.

However,

If you are bothered by their judgment,

Then this is simply your belief in the judgment.

Therefore,

It is your judgment.

They are simply a mirror reflecting it back to you.

To see beyond all this silliness around judgment,

Beyond all this imagined separation,

Offering up judgment is simply impossible.

Everyone you see is to see yourself.

The self that is seen to be separate survives on judgment.

The self that is separate needs to judge others in order to maintain its separateness.

For this separate self,

Judging others is a matter of survival.

Which is why the need to judge can be so intensely or violently or violently executed.

Now,

As we drop into this,

This is where I always feel compelled to give a disclaimer and acknowledge the inevitable misunderstanding.

As we use these silly words that can't really define anything in our attempt to figure out what is real and true,

It's very easy to get lost in the words.

It's very easy to get lost in your story about who you think I am or in wondering who is this guy saying these things as if it has any relevance at all.

It's just more distraction.

The playful attempt to point towards what is real and true is very much not a mind thing.

It's like I'm using these words to access something in your heart that maybe you won't fully be able to articulate yourself,

But maybe you can sense a deep truth in what's being shared.

And it's that sense of what is deeply true that I invite you to marinate in.

Not that you need to capture it or remember it for all of time,

But the invitation in these moments we share together right now is to just marinate in it right now.

The foundation of spirituality,

The fundamental invitation,

Is attempting to point your awareness in a direction that sees there's no separation,

That sees that it's all one.

To see beyond this illusion of 10,

000 things and recognize in the most profound way that it's all one thing.

If we could just acknowledge for a moment the difference between reality as it is right now and all the content going on in your mind,

And beautifully so,

This can be a meditative thing.

This doesn't have to just be an informational thing,

But to be here present with me and to feel into the moment,

Feel into what is being said.

I just invite the casual observation that there is a profound difference between here right now and the life you think you're living in the mind.

In the same way that when you sit and listen to a bird song,

There's a profound difference from being present with the bird song and then thinking about the bird song.

There's a profound difference between the name you give someone and what they really are,

Beyond all your mental commentary.

Do you see this difference?

There is,

Let's just say,

The miraculous nature of what is.

To be alive,

To be in this,

Whatever this is.

And then,

Mental commentary.

Furthermore,

I just invite us to recognize how much of our life is lived in the mental commentary.

Furthermore,

Times two,

Not only how much of our life is lived in the mental commentary,

But how much we think,

Assume,

Or believe that the mental commentary is reality.

Just notice that.

It's not a test.

It's an acknowledgment.

Oh yeah,

There's a profound difference.

And it's not even to say it should be one way or the other.

It's just to acknowledge the truth of things.

That there is a profound difference between reality and the truth of things.

That there is a profound difference between reality that is here and now,

What is real,

And the life that I think I'm living,

That has a past,

That has a future,

That has this list of things to do,

That has all your stories about other people,

All your stories about the world and its events.

All the noise,

Yadda,

Yadda,

Yadda,

Yadda,

Yadda.

Spirituality is inviting you to wake up to reality,

To wake up to what is real,

And live from what is real.

And the promise,

And the promise,

So beautifully,

Is that as you wake up to what is real,

You will connect with what it is you're actually looking for,

Which is also to say what you're soulfully looking for,

Which is also to say some flavor of love,

Compassion,

And freedom.

This is why I love moments like this.

You know,

I can sit here week after week and just repeat myself,

And the shit's still profound.

I never get tired of holding space like this and just gently guiding us back to reality,

Because we will forever get lost,

And that's fine,

It's part of the human experience.

But it is important to effectively have some flavor of spiritual practice,

Even though you don't have to call it spiritual,

But just take a moment to acknowledge what's real and true,

To check in with reality,

In the same way that when you fall asleep at night,

It's important for you to be able to function during the day.

You have to take that moment of rest,

And this spiritual inquiry is a rest for your heart and soul,

And even your mind,

Which allows you to go back to your human play and function in a way that we can say is more free,

More liberated,

More joyful,

More peaceful,

More loving,

All of these spiritual qualities that are talked about so much,

And this is the promise.

The promise that says,

Wake up,

See what you really are,

And all of these things will be added unto you.

Okay,

So you're here with me now,

Yeah?

You see the difference,

And it's okay.

Now our hearts can be pointed towards what's real and true,

And we can honor this space of what's real and true,

Acknowledge its beauty,

Its brilliance,

Its reality,

And gently surrender all else,

Just for right now.

As was that,

The rest of this can remain playful in nature.

This isn't serious.

You see,

All of the separation exists in the mind.

All of the separation is a story of separation,

Told from within what you are,

And judgment,

Which is to attempt to define something's worth and value,

And that something is an independent thing that's separate from everything else.

Do you see this?

When you judge something,

You think you're judging that thing as if it's separate from everything else.

So when you judge a flower,

You think you're judging a flower as if the flower isn't life itself.

Do you see that?

You can look at a flower and give it a name,

Like a flower,

And you think that that flower exists independently as its own thing,

But yet that flower is birthed from the wholeness of all that is.

The flower is the wholeness of all that is,

Taking the shape of what you call a flower,

But it is not its own thing.

The flower is also the soil.

The flower is also the rain.

The flower is also the earth,

The stars,

The everything.

Do you see this?

It takes an entire universe to create something that you call a flower.

The flower is an expression of the universe.

It is the universe.

But you see the illusion that happens,

Yeah?

Where you see a particular form of the one,

And you give it a name,

And you think it's its own thing,

Operating independently.

And so when the flower does something that you don't like,

Say it has thorns on it and you touch it and it hurts,

You condemn the flower as if it's the flower's fault because the flower did it.

As if the flower is its own thing.

Not realizing that anything you say about the flower,

You're saying about life as a whole.

Now again,

From a practical human standpoint,

It makes sense that we give names to things so that we can communicate with each other,

That's fine.

But the deeper question here is,

What's really true?

And furthermore,

The deeper question is,

Can I honor what's really true?

Can I see that truth and honor it,

Which is also like saying,

Can I release my determination to make it something that it's not?

And I'm using this silly,

Silly,

Silly example of a flower.

Maybe to soften the blow.

To see how we imagine separation.

Understandably,

Things look separate from behind our eyes.

You look like you're separate from everything else.

I get that.

But is it true?

And you might say,

Well,

I feel separate.

Well,

Let me tell you this.

If you see yourself as separate,

Like if that's what it looks like,

Then you will feel in accordance to what you think it looks like.

Your feeling is simply showing what you're seeing.

Just like when you judge another person,

It might come with an icky feeling.

And you can use that icky feeling as a silly form of validating your judgment.

See,

It's true.

I feel gross.

And we have it flipped upside down.

Not realizing that the feeling is coming after the perception.

The feeling is responding to what you are perceiving.

And so if one would like to feel more wholeness,

Feel a deeper connection,

The pathway to that is to see it as so.

And not just see it intellectually,

But to truly see it with the entirety of your being,

So that the entirety of your being can feel it.

You can see it on an intellectual level,

And that will adjust your emotional state of being to some degree,

Maybe not much.

But as I was saying,

Adjust your emotional state of being to some degree,

Maybe not much.

But as I was talking about earlier,

The invitation is to go beyond the mind,

Go beyond the thinking,

And see that this is true with everything that you are.

And I understand the perceived difficulty in that,

Especially when there's so much noise in the mind,

And so much confusion,

And so much pain.

I get that.

But nonetheless,

This just speaks to the intensity of urgency for us to devote ourselves to this discovery.

Because to at least see it intellectually,

It's a great starting point,

And you get a taste for how true it might be.

And if that's really true,

Then my goodness,

What a priority this becomes.

Because it shows us how far away we are from seeing the truth.

That's really beautiful.

And as I said,

These names that we give things,

These labels that separate,

That's fine.

We're communicating with each other.

But do you believe it?

Can you see the mechanism that's going on,

On the surface,

Where we are having a imaginary existence,

Seeing things in the mind,

Imagining monsters,

And then superimposing that onto reality,

Rather than seeing it a bit more objectively,

Where we can also recognize what's actually there below the surface.

Even if there is an intensity in the imagination that is put on top,

There can still be a developed capacity to let that intensity be there.

But yet something underneath is vigilant or aware of a deeper truth.

And this is to,

In one way,

Have the heart remained open,

Even when there seems to be chaos on the surface of being human.

This is something that is most commonly just developed over time.

As you continue to dive into this inquiry,

As you continue to see it for yourself,

Then it appears that you have greater access to it.

But I have to caution that this greater access that might be on its way is not going to show itself how you might want it to show itself.

It comes in its own way.

Do you see that judgment creates separation?

That's the question.

Can you just see that?

Can you just see that?

In order for there to be judgment,

In order for you to look at something and say it is more or less deserving of love,

It is more or less of value and worth,

You have to proclaim that it is separate from everything else.

Do you see that?

Therefore,

Can you see that what you're judging is not actually the something that you're seeing,

But you're judging your mental commentary about it?

Meaning,

You've created an image of something separate and you're judging that image.

So you're not even judging reality,

You're judging your own thinking.

How adorable is that?

And this really speaks to the chaos in the human experience.

And it's fascinating to me that we don't see this.

Human beings are simply thinking about their own thinking while thinking they're thinking about life.

And that's what I'm trying to do.

While thinking they're thinking about life.

The mind just circles itself.

It thinks about its own labels.

It thinks about its own separate images while thinking that it's thinking about life.

Which really shows you,

In a profound way,

There's not much to think about.

Which is a great invitation into a beautiful stillness when you can see that.

It's like,

Oh wow,

I'm lost in thinking.

This is going nowhere.

Most often the case.

Of course,

Naturally,

As it relates to the practicality of being human,

There's a beautiful use to the thinking mind use to the thinking mind that helps us navigate,

That helps us play,

That helps us communicate,

That helps us to go on the adventure that we're on.

And that's all well and good.

But just like every tool,

If you use it in a way that it's not intended,

You will likely create some flavor of a mess.

And this is what we do with the mind.

And this is what we do with the mind in the play of judgment.

Because we don't understand what we really are,

Because we don't understand the miracle we are swimming in and how it's designed to support your awakening,

We misuse our instruments.

And the misuse of those instruments creates what we'll call unnecessary suffering.

But if it's happening,

Then it's necessary.

But in one way,

It's unnecessary.

All suffering is unnecessary,

But it's necessary in order for you to learn that it's unnecessary.

I love how those things can both be true,

Which really speaks to the unity in all of it.

It's completely unnecessary,

But it's necessary.

Which again,

For me at least,

Is an invitation that says I don't really need to figure it out.

I can just let it be.

Like,

Is it this or is it that?

It's all of it.

It's the whole damn thing.

It's the wholeness of it.

And that's the funny thing about life.

You can look at the 10,

000 pieces and you can try and figure them out as if they're not already perfectly placed,

As if they're not separate pieces.

They're just all expressions of the whole.

And one of the ways that I continually come back to articulate this is to walk in the forest and see there's 10,

000 different things and you think you have to figure out all the 10,

000 different things in order to enjoy the beauty of the forest.

Not realizing that those 10,

000 things are just one thing.

There's not a lot to figure out because that which has created it already understands it.

And it knows that everything that's happening,

The appearance of these 10,

000 things aren't really separate things.

They're all deep expressions of one another where everything is doing what it's supposed to be doing so that the whole thing could be the whole thing.

And why is the whole thing the whole thing?

Well,

When you see the whole thing and you see how beautiful it is,

That's enough.

Is it not enough that it's extraordinary?

Is it not enough that it's miraculous?

Is it not enough to be alive?

Is it not enough to be here right now?

Well,

I'll tell you,

If you don't see here right now,

Then yeah,

It seems like it's not enough.

Which is why there's the invitation to see what is here now.

You see,

The illusion we get lost in is the illusion of 10,

000 things.

And remember,

Is the illusion of 10,

000 things.

And remember,

It's understandable.

Please don't beat yourself up about this.

It's perfectly fine.

It's understandable in the magnitude of our thinking mind,

In our ability to make things appear real.

It makes sense why you might imagine 10,

000 different things that you think you're missing.

And it really looks like you're missing them.

You're telling a fantastic story.

And it's really captured your awareness.

So of course you go anxiously chasing after it,

Thinking it will give you something real because it looks real.

But what do you find out?

Oh,

It's not what I thought it was.

Yeah.

Welcome to the illusion.

And you do this enough times and you keep bumping your head.

You start to question,

Wait,

What's really going on here?

Everywhere I go,

I go into nothing.

Everything I chase after shows it's not real.

It sees itself as ephemeral.

It ultimately disappears.

Yeah.

It is all maya.

It is all illusion.

And then of course we might ask,

Okay,

Then what then is the point?

Well,

Go play.

Go play in the illusion and learn along the way.

You see,

The thing that makes it a disaster is to confuse the illusion for reality,

Which is also part of the learning.

So it's not so much a disaster in and of itself.

It's okay.

It's part of it.

It's like the analogy of playing a game.

The more you think the points are real,

You're not fun to play with.

And the more you realize that the points don't really matter,

It doesn't mean you don't play the game.

It means you enjoy the game.

And you realize that the purpose of the game is for you to connect and engage with other human beings.

And that play of playing facilitates a learning.

And you're not even trying to learn.

You're just playing the game.

You're participating.

And there is a learning that's happening naturally.

And of course,

Part of the play is to sometimes think that the points really matter.

And it creates a playful intensity.

And when that intensity gets too much,

Meaning you're taking it seriously and you start becoming afraid of losing the points because you think they matter,

Then you suffer.

And the suffering is an alarm that says,

Hey,

Wake up.

This isn't real.

Do you see how playful it is?

And again,

To see that it is playful is to remove all of the judgment that says it's serious.

Playful is what remains in the absence of the judgment.

And you can also say playfulness is what remains in the absence of a projected seriousness.

And for there to be seriousness,

It implies there are points to be lost in the future.

And when you see those points are imaginary,

Then there's no fear of losing those points.

Which means it would be impossible for this to be serious.

But yet at the same time,

Part of the play is for it to sometimes appear serious.

So that's fine.

The last thing we want to do is to create some sort of expectation that says you should never be serious because that sounds quite serious.

My goodness.

It's almost like saying,

Maybe this is going exactly how it's supposed to be going.

And maybe the invitation in that is to relax into how it's going.

Which is also an invitation to just breathe.

Again,

Even if it's just for right now,

As we check in,

To remember these things,

To see them clearly.

To see them clearly.

Take a breath.

Remember what's true to whatever degree that you can,

And it will be different for everyone.

To whatever degree that you can.

Breathe,

Relax,

And then go play.

Get lost and then come back.

Breathe,

Relax,

See what's true.

Go play.

And in this in and out breath of your existence,

This remembering and forgetting,

There will be a learning slash discovery slash blooming that will emerge,

As has been your experience thus far.

Can you trust this unfolding?

Can you see the depth of truth behind what I'm saying?

And in what I'm pointing toward,

Even though I understand the mind might have a fantastic difficulty in grasping the totality of this.

Can you taste it?

That's all I'm asking.

If you can taste it a little bit,

Then maybe that'll be enough permission for you to open your heart to it just a little bit.

And as you open your heart to it,

It's like a communication with life that says,

I'm ready to see a little bit more of what's true.

And life can show you by taking you on another great adventure,

Which will go on either way.

But it's incredibly helpful to be more and more open to the possibility that life is guiding you along a very intentional process and has your best interest at heart.

And I know how wild that might seem,

Especially,

You know,

Because people are at different places.

Like,

Again,

To one person,

They can hear these words and be like,

That's absolute nonsense.

And I get that.

And for another person,

They say,

Holy shit,

I see that.

Yeah.

And both are allowed.

Both are equal.

It's important that you see what you see.

Because as you see what you see,

You get feedback.

And that feedback mechanism is how we learn.

Like,

All of the moments in my life where this wasn't seen are not separate from the moments of discovery.

They go together.

This is why everyone's exactly where they're supposed to be.

As it relates to the,

Let's say,

Grand design or grand purpose,

Which is using silly words that don't mean anything.

Using silly words that don't really define,

Which is in some capacity,

Waking up to see what you really are.

That's the game you're playing.

Returning to the theme of judgment,

Here's what I want you to explore,

Play with.

Of course,

If it inspires you,

Just see if you can recognize how the illusion of yourself,

Your ego,

Who you think you are,

Needs to judge others for its survival.

In order for you to remain as this separate person you see in the mirror,

Who you see yourself to be,

That's desperately trying to be important or validated as its own separate thing,

Absolutely must judge and criticize others.

And the way this is obvious is if you want to see yourself as a smart person,

Right,

The separate you as a smart person,

You have to find people you think are dumb.

Because a smart person cannot exist without a dumb person.

And so for you to validate the idea that you are a separate smart person,

You have to seek out what you think are dumb people.

And that validates the construct of yourself as a separate something.

And that's fine,

But the only point I'm making is that in your quest to survive your separate self-identity,

You are saying that you are separate from life.

Right?

It's like the attitude of I can do it on my own.

I'm going to prove myself.

And that's fine.

That's an optional game to be played.

There will be learning along that journey.

But what I'm suggesting is that the learning that you are eventually going to arrive at,

Which is like saying all roads lead to the same destination,

Is waking up to the truth that there is no separation.

That it's all been a play.

It's all been a fantasy.

And again,

This is so easily seen if you just get still and look and question,

Who am I?

And you'll see the mind's response.

Are you really that?

And you'll see how much you think about that thing that you think you are and how much mental space it occupies during your days.

How much energy is spent trying to protect it and defend it.

How much tension and anxiety is wrapped around it as you chase towards this future solution to your imagined inadequacy.

And you can ask yourself,

Do you want to keep playing that game?

Or do you want to see what you really are?

Which is a different game.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

I'll see you next time.

Reviews

I don't have the words to fully express what I got out of this session. I need to listen to this again so I can break it down further. What I took from th e first time of listening to this is that judgement is a mirror, a self reflection of what I don't like about myself (which took me to different points in time and people n in particular made me cringe - icky feeling). I can sort of grasp feelings are a result of a judgement. But trying to further disect it, I start to 'feel' twisted up about what's real or what's perceived. Or is the point is that's it neither? I'm not making sense. But final thought is that for the first time in a long time I allowed myself to be in the here and now, even just for a moment.

I love your talks. And since I started listening to you, I’m a lot more playful about everything… Even grief.

question- I have this one Person in my life. a neighbor and a person that i’ve known over 40 years. in that time she sometimes calls me friend and then ghost me. And then she’ll come back in my life and call me friend and then ghost me. Currently they are ghosting. i’m Aware that I have judgment towards this person. Is the awareness of judgment enough of a beginning? Or is there something I’m missing?

Absolutely wonderful 🙏🏼

11/14/24 Grateful to have listened to this! It made me smile ..and think playfully in this aftermath of “politics” ..and election. There is a lot of judgement going on. And looking at one side as ignorant and tte other smart ..and comic relief is needed when things get so serious and a return to what’s really important…love ,compassion ,kindness. I do think I’ll focus on music ,family and friendship and what little we each can do for the earth..🌍 to preserve for future children and laugh more.Thank you for contributing to ease the dis~ease. ☮️💜💫

Listening to a bird singing and thinking about a bird singing are two distinct things. I got that 🎶

So beautiful to feel into what it is to play 💜

Thank you 🙏🏼