Inevitable Disaster Of Spirituality

In this episode, Tiger explores and brings clarity to the experience of constant disapointment. The disaster of spirituality is to watch all of our fantasies about spirituality collapse, only to be taken more deeply into the heart of what's actually true. All seekers of truth will pass through this gate of disillusionment. However, you are encouraged to keep pressing on toward the real prize in life.

Transcript

You're listening to an Enlight Connect podcast.

The prize of spirituality will never be something that you can attain.

It will never be something that can be acquired.

The real prize of spirituality is an opportunity to recognize what has always been true.

What is true and what will forever be true.

Welcome to Cats' Kite Meditation Spiritual Musings.

I am super excited about this topic today,

Inevitable Disaster of Spirituality.

And it gives us an opportunity to explore the reality of spirituality and to allow us to release our fantasies of spirituality and align ourselves with the realness as opposed to looking for what we can hold on to.

I invite you to see something that I think is both hilarious and terrifying.

Notice how in the most innocent way,

Your experience of being human throughout your life has been largely motivated by the assumption that there is something to acquire.

And again,

In no way wrong.

Just notice that there's been this theme where you have been propelled forward with an assumption that you will get something.

And I say this to address the topic,

The Inevitable Disaster of Spirituality.

And it's also important to see these things with an absolute innocence because the mind in its conditioning looks to identify something you are either doing wrong or right,

Which symbolizes this motivation of attaining.

But let's see beyond that for a moment and just see the way of things.

That as human beings find themselves engaging what we might call a spiritual quest,

A spiritual path,

It too,

In many ways,

Is motivated by this same assumption where we have moved about in the world,

Trying to acquire,

Trying to capture,

Trying to hold on.

And we see that it's not working.

And so very naturally,

We move to a spiritual path,

Looking for the same thing.

One way we can look at this is we try and find ourselves on the outside in the world.

And we see that that doesn't work.

And so we are told to look within.

To look within,

You will find yourself.

And I guess in a way,

I'd like to playfully burst the bubble.

And maybe we can say that throughout time,

The sages and mystics have pointed you to look inward so that in a way you find the same thing that you couldn't find on the outside,

Which is I look out in the world,

I cannot find myself.

I'd be still in silence.

I look in and I still can't find myself.

And this is the inevitable conclusion in the search for the self is that the self I'm looking for,

Whether it's in the world or within myself,

Is not there.

And so what do I find when I really look within?

You will find the same thing that you find when you look out,

Which will be nothing.

You will find this same emptiness that we touched upon in the meditation.

You will find in some way or another that there is nothing to find.

And that will either be a great terror or profound liberation.

The terror is realizing that what you've been looking for your whole life,

What you feel like you desperately need to find will never be found.

The liberation is in seeing that you don't have to look anymore.

Please notice that this is the dilemma of being human,

Trying to find myself.

In my trying to find myself,

I am also trying to protect myself.

And I invite you to recognize in the most innocent and compassionate ways,

All of the chaos in the mind,

The uninvited circus.

What is all of that commotion about?

Well I'm either looking to gain acceptance or I'm looking to avoid rejection,

Which in a very direct way,

I'm looking for myself.

And maybe as a very playful and quick exercise,

Just look at the mind's movement now over the past five minutes,

You can see that all of the areas that it wanders,

All of its noise,

In some way,

It's thinking about who you think you are.

And just notice this momentum of thought pattern,

Almost as if it is a tiny snowball rolling down a hill,

Growing in size.

The mind looks and looks and looks,

Building ideas about itself.

Maybe I'm this,

Maybe I'm this,

Maybe I'm this.

And look at all of the agitation,

All of the anxiety,

All of the fear,

All based on the idea that I might lose what I'm looking for.

I might lose who I think I am.

I say these things to bring awareness to the commotion because ultimately this is what we're looking to escape.

This is what we're looking to find liberation from.

Searching for a permission that says,

I'd like to find the space where I can finally just be.

And so there's a very natural caution in speaking about these things,

Almost in such a way that very playfully there's a part in me that doesn't want to speak about these things.

Something inside is like,

You know,

Can't we just have some tea and hang out?

Because of the capacity to misunderstand or to listen to what I'm saying from the perspective of seeking,

Which is almost like listening to my words with an agenda to find something.

And so in this,

I speak very slowly.

The disaster in spirituality,

Which we have all experienced in some way,

Where you have your spiritual life,

You're doing your spiritual thing.

And then at some point something happens and within you,

Something screams,

You know what?

Fuck spirituality.

This is dumb.

We all know those moments,

Which is almost like a recognition that says,

I thought it was something and I'm seeing that it's not that.

Now,

This is so subtle,

But it's so obvious at the same time.

And this is important to recognize because it's even more subtle than you can see it's subtleness.

And what I mean by this is the disaster in the spirituality says,

I thought it was this and I'm finding out that it's not,

That even beyond your own conscious awareness,

There are belief structures in you.

There are thought patterns unfolding.

There are subtle movements of clinging,

Hoping,

Wanting,

Thinking it's this,

Not wanting it to be that.

And throughout your spiritual journey or just your human journey,

You are going to come upon these discoveries constantly,

Which means you will have many more moments that say fuck spirituality.

But I want to address the opportunity of this disaster because not only is it found in what we might call spirituality,

But the same disappointment will be found in all other areas of your life.

And I invite you to see this similarity that whether it's spirituality isn't what I thought,

You will find that the job isn't what I thought the relationship isn't what I thought the future isn't what I thought.

You see,

It's the same dynamic.

I thought there was something to have something to hold on to something to know.

And now all I found myself,

All I can do is find myself drowning in some form of emptiness.

And I invite you to recognize that in whatever path this unfolds,

We always come back to the same discovery in a very similar way that no matter how often we get together and have our profound conversation,

We're always talking about the same thing.

And the more you can see that it's always about the same thing,

Then the further you can go into its depth of truth.

The opportunity of this disaster,

Even though it will be painful,

Is an opportunity to see the underlying mechanism that's giving birth to these disappointments.

And as a way to illustrate,

Which I feel will be quite resonant with your experience,

I can speak to my experience and to paint a picture of the only difficulty that I see.

And that is,

And again,

It's all profoundly innocent,

And that is watching how within the movement of my mind,

There is this constant attempt to protect who I think I am,

Which is also a subtle or obvious fear that I am afraid to lose who I think that I am.

And in my own journey of being open to see the truth,

In my own journey of surrendering to discoveries,

In many ways I find it utterly painful to also see how full of shit I am as a human being.

Like to watch without even knowing it,

How my mind is moving to protect an ego,

How I am still terrified in many ways to completely let go.

And it can be profoundly humbling.

And I would also suggest that no matter what level you think you're at,

This will always play itself out in some way or another.

And in that there is a softness.

And I say these things because maybe in some way or another,

All spiritual people think they're more spiritual than they ever really are.

It's super cute.

Of course,

We find evidence in this in any time we become agitated with any sort of disturbance that might show itself.

And for me,

It always points to that space of humility that recognizes the play of this person that I am thought to be cannot get there,

Cannot do it.

And so I invite you to see that in the recognition of what I'm saying,

The futility of this person trying to be the spiritual.

In the absolute failure of that,

You can either be terrified and run from it,

Or you can stand and look at the reality of it.

You know,

I want to touch upon this in some sort of religious context,

Just as a way of illustrating or pointing what's been attempted to be communicated throughout all of time.

And if you have any sort of religious upbringing,

This will make sense to you.

And what I recognize is in my own memory of religion growing up,

There was this theme that I really didn't like,

Which was human beings are not worthy.

Human beings are not worthy of God's love.

They're not worthy of God and dah,

Dah,

Dah,

Dah,

Dah,

Which is also to say that human beings are sinful in nature.

You remember this language,

In like all things,

Like all teachings,

What you experience in the teaching is more about where you are reading it from.

Because in one way,

You can hear a statement that says you're not worthy of God,

Which means you don't even have to try,

Which is almost like you're already forgiven.

And that's rather comforting.

And another way it can be such an insult.

In a very classic way,

You could go home for the family Thanksgiving and some relative says who you think you are doesn't matter.

And you could get pissed.

And then you come to these sessions and I tell you the same thing and you take a deep breath.

Oh,

That's nice.

Naturally in these religious pointings,

When they speak to wisdom or insight that says human beings aren't worthy,

It's simply speaking to who you think you are.

Please notice the truth of that.

To say such a thing that who you think you are is not worthy is only because who you think you are doesn't actually exist.

A statement to say human beings are sinful by nature is to say that who you think you are will constantly be looking to create separation.

For that is the nature of what might be called sin to separate yourself from God.

And the only way you can separate yourself from God,

Of course,

Again,

In a spiritual or religious context is through your perception.

To see yourself as separate from God,

Which is what inspires the seeking.

We see the fundamental drive in the spiritual quest in some way is to reunite with God,

Reunite with truth,

Reunite with the divine,

Reunite with that which is whole and complete.

And if you've hung out in this space for any length of time,

You've recognized in some capacity that that which is whole and complete is already done.

What you discover is that you were never separate.

This is the hilarity.

Which is to recognize that if you were never separate,

If that's impossible,

It's almost like saying you have what you want,

Always and forever.

There's nothing to fear.

There's nothing to protect.

And in the recognition of that,

There is only a softness that rests in the moment with a complete allowing for life to be life,

The relaxation.

And I find it fascinating that no matter what path I find myself on,

Again,

In many ways you can say every path is a spiritual path.

No matter what the disappointment,

What the frustration,

It seems like it all serves as an opportunity to bring me back to this discovery.

Which is almost like I run around the planet touching hot stoves and the pain tells me it's not there.

Don't touch that.

Let go.

And I find it one of the greatest discoveries to see that no matter where I go,

What I do,

All of my experiences point me back to this emptiness.

And it seems quite natural that the more you get pointed back to the same thing over and over and over,

Sooner or later you get the hint and you stop grasping.

And so in a very direct and simple,

Simple way,

I invite humility within yourself that sees if there's any disturbance,

If there's any agitation,

If there's anything that seems other than what is desired,

You can see that it is all birthed by grasping for something that is nothing.

Which is almost a direct invitation to come back to the nothing.

And in this invitation,

What you will find at times is a devil inside of you that refuses to return to the empty.

And I invite you to see that one with a compassionate understanding for that one is simply scared of the empty.

And that is completely understandable.

Completely understandable.

And my goodness,

I want to say that over and over and over and over again,

Because it can be so easy to hear what I'm saying and then turn it into a judgment for those who are scared of the empty.

Rather than seeing those who are scared with a very profound compassion that says,

Yes,

I understand.

I've been there too.

There's a sincerity within me that says,

I don't like the truth.

I don't like this spiritual thing that constantly strips away what I'm trying to find or what I'm trying to hold on to.

And I think it's very wise to acknowledge that part of yourself,

Because it shows you that part of yourself that is in opposition to the truth.

But I also invite you to see that the only reason that that opposition is there is because there is a very innocent fear of nothing.

I should probably clarify that statement.

There's a very innocent fear of that which is the nothing.

An innocence inside that says,

But I want something.

I want to know.

I want to feel safe.

I want to feel secure.

And as valid as all of that is from the perspective of being human,

Totally allowed,

No problem.

I just invite you to see where that voice is coming from,

To see that that voice is looking to protect an idea of yourself.

And very obviously,

We can see that if there is any,

It's a dangerous word,

But progression in the spiritual journey in the most real and practical way.

It's a softening of one's grip of this self idea.

And that can only improve the quality of your present moment experience.

It's almost like saying you have less to think about.

You have less to defend.

Isn't that really fascinating?

Because culturally speaking,

We've been told in a way that to have more is to have more.

But really what we find,

There is such a power in less.

And you can see that that points to a very,

Very profound truth of what you are.

That your real power isn't having nothing.

And that's the complete opposite of what everyone is looking for.

And so I can promise you in a way,

And this has been illustrated all throughout history in a spiritual or religious context,

That the crumbling of your human experience,

The disaster of your human experience will be losing everything that you think you have.

And my gentle invitation for you is to see the truth of that.

Rather than fighting it,

Rather than trying to rebuild it,

But to connect with the space within yourself that is willing to surrender to that.

And this is more so something that you observe within yourself,

Rather than something that you try and master or acquire.

It's like you recognize within yourself a willingness to surrender to the truth,

A willingness to acknowledge that these are not things for you to hold on to or capture.

And also understand the playful requirement of these times,

That every human being will pass through such a gate multiple times,

All serving as an invitation to connect with what's true.

And it's been spoken about in such a way that in order to enter heaven,

One must die.

And naturally when you go through experiences where you're holding on to what you believe is you and that faith,

It feels like you're dying.

In many spiritual religious traditions,

It talks about some great calamity before the return of whatever Christ,

That world's crumble and end.

Do you see how these things have been taken to be literal?

Like there's going to come a time when buildings actually fall,

Where worlds actually end.

But do you see how this is just representation of what happens inside?

The world you imagined to be there,

What you imagine yourself to have,

Who you imagine yourself to be,

That all comes crumbling down.

And we can find the same illustrations in the stories of miracles,

Where the blind man can see another representation that when you see the truth,

It's like a whole new world opens up to you.

You see things that you never saw before.

Would it be raised from the dead?

Same illustration.

All of these spiritual things pointing to something that is so present in your present moment experience,

Not at all speaking to the world out there,

But speaking to the one who is looking.

And also on the subject of the inevitable disaster,

I'd like to bring attention to the disaster of a spirituality that we think is about other people or the world.

And what I mean by this is,

Man,

This is so subtle the way that these things move,

But you will come upon spiritual insight and wisdom,

Profound teachings.

And in some way or another,

You will think it's about other people.

Other people should hear this.

Other people should do these things.

Or you now know what's true for somebody else.

And I can tell you that that is just another subtle way that the egoic structure looks to know something that says,

I found myself in the spiritual concept.

You see that becomes very dogmatic in the same way you come across the diet that seems to work.

And now you think you found the right diet for all human beings.

You start to think you know something.

And so I just,

I really invite a caution in that movement to be aware of the potential for these things to become dogmatic rather than seeing that this is only for you.

Because I'll tell you,

Without the dogma,

When these things are truly seen within the being,

You are going to love people regardless of their chosen diet,

Regardless of their life path or where they are.

There won't be that movement that says,

Oh,

They should be more like this or like that.

Ultimately,

These disasters,

These collapses of all that we're looking for,

Trying to hold on to simply bring you back to a place where you recognize it's okay to just love.

It's okay to allow life to be life.

But understand these things are discovered through the disaster.

And so I invite you to see the beauty of such disasters.

I love that how in some way or another,

If we examine our fear,

We fear the end of ourselves.

We fear the end of who we are thought to be.

And even though we might say,

We're not afraid of dying,

You can see that if you are afraid of anything in some way,

You are afraid of dying.

We see fear arises as a mechanism of survival,

Which in a very practical way is helpful for having a human experience.

It's very practical.

In fact,

To be afraid,

Biologically,

I believe in some way or another,

It brings all of your resources to your fight or flight.

It brings you into this hyper survival mode,

Defensive mode,

Protection mode,

So that you can keep living.

But the fear that human beings experience,

Which is a daily thing,

And for many a moment to moment thing is we are confused about what we are,

And so we are trying to survive the idea of ourselves rather than the reality of ourselves.

Like for example,

Think about your past week.

How often was your physicality really in harm's way to warrant a fear response?

Not much,

If at all.

Now look at how much anxiety might have been there,

How much stress,

How much worry,

How much expression of fear,

What was being protected.

In a very understandable way,

The belief was you were protecting you,

But that's why it's so important to look at the you.

Is that really you?

What other people think about you?

Is that really you?

What happens tomorrow?

Is that really affecting you?

All of your questions,

Is that really about you?

All of your wanting,

Does that really serve you?

This is why it seems like it can be said with a degree of confidence,

See what you really are and all else becomes instantly healed.

Fear disappears.

You've been listening to Cascais Meditation and Spiritual Musings with Tiger Singleton,

An Enlight Connect podcast.

To learn more about all things Enlight Connect,

Visit EnlightConnect.

Com.

Thank you.

Reviews

As a recovering alcoholic this talk reminded me of the “god-hole” of spirituality that I tried to fill with alcohol because my fear of the world subdued my compassion, love, and couriosity. Powerful message in this talk.

As always brilliant

discovering more of your talks. i take something away from each one. thanks Tiger ⭐️✨🌙🌞⭐️✨🌙🌞⭐️✨🌙🌞⭐️

Profound. Thought provoking. Much appreciated 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Beautiful again! So clear, so real 💜
Recommend.. (without making it about others..)

♾aaaaah♾

You are such a tremendously wise human being, thank you for sharing your knowledge 👍☀️

The most awakening talk I hear since I studied Eckhart Tolle books!

Deep stuff. Loved it.
Thank you for sharing 💞

I don’t fear the vacuum of mySelf anymore🙏🏽🌪🕉💞

Thanks for telling the truth