I Don't Exist; Thank God

Join Tiger for a thought-provoking exploration of the nature of identity and reality. Through storytelling and examples from daily life, this talk gently guides us to recognize the imaginary nature of who we think we are. Discover insights into reducing suffering by letting go of the constant struggle to survive the character in our minds. An invitation to relax into what is real and find peace.

Transcript

Let's allow ourselves to be present and just check in with this moment,

Realizing that here we are and it's impossible to be anywhere else.

And so we just acknowledge that and allow ourselves to be here.

You know,

This topic is one of my favorite topics.

And yes,

I know I say that about almost everything I talk about,

But I guess in this moment,

This topic is really exciting.

The title of this exploration is,

I don't really exist.

Thank God.

And it's going to be a fun exploration,

At least for me.

And naturally I'm going to put forth the disclaimer that this isn't serious,

Yet at the same time,

It's deeply sincere.

And there is a fundamental recognition that what I'm pointing toward can actually be spoken about.

And so I'm using words and language to point to something.

The words themselves aren't true,

But it invites a very deep inquiry.

And it's funny because it's kind of like the nature of a myth.

We can recognize that a myth isn't true.

However,

For the openhearted,

The myth has the potential to expose a profound insight,

A discovery.

It speaks to something that cannot be spoken.

It's the nature of all story,

Really.

Stories themselves aren't true,

But yet they can expose something on the inside,

A recognition,

An insight.

And so in the spirit of that,

This is the intention to use story,

To use language in a playful way that invites a discovery.

I don't really exist.

This points to a very ancient teaching.

I would suggest that it's the foundation of all spiritual insight,

Inviting us to recognize that who we think we are,

This character of you,

The one we call me,

Doesn't actually exist,

Isn't real.

Yet,

We live our life as if it is real.

And it's this confusion,

The misunderstanding,

That gives birth to all of our suffering.

The invitation is waking up from the dream of me and seeing what's actually there.

And I will say that the dream of me completely clouds my perception.

The character of me becomes a filter that I look through.

And it distorts everything that I'm seeing.

And very directly,

We can see how obvious this is in taking things personally.

Do you see that that's a filter?

When somebody says something and you proclaim that it's about you,

It distorts what you're hearing,

Distorts what you're seeing.

If it's raining outside and you think it interrupts your plans,

It distorts how you see the rain.

Let's just take a moment and look at this character,

Who you think you are,

And recognize very,

Very gently how much energy and attention this character receives in such a way that if you were to examine your thinking throughout the day,

I think it would be safe to assume that 90-95% of thought is consumed with thinking about this character.

And naturally,

That thought believed in is almost like an energy that's given,

An energy that's spent.

There's a life that's happening in this moment.

And we become completely unaware of life that's happening as we are preoccupied with thinking about this character,

Thinking about how the character feels,

Thinking about the character's past,

Wondering about the character's future,

All with a fundamental belief in the character,

Almost as if it's vital to think about it.

It's vital in the way that we need to survive the character.

And yet,

As we become present,

As we relax into this moment,

Our awareness opens up and this character begins to melt.

It begins to dissolve.

And for the anxious one,

They find the stillness or the emptiness of this moment problematic because this character starts to dissolve.

And we feel like we need to get away from that emptiness in order to survive the character.

We need to get to wherever we are going in an effort to protect the character.

Or the stillness and emptiness threatens the character's survival,

Like I can't just be here,

Got things to do.

And if you really examine the intensity in the things to do,

Especially if there's disturbance,

We can see that it's motivated in the attempt to survive the character.

It's so interesting.

It's interesting how in living this life,

I can live in such a way that I think the character is valid.

I think that it's real.

And I think that it must survive.

And yet the whole time,

The character is imaginary.

And also what I recognize is that all of my disturbance,

All of it,

Is to perceive life and others as getting in the way of this character,

Getting in the way of something that's not even there.

Furthermore,

If you look at society or the human species as a whole,

You can see how everyone's trying to survive their character.

You can see how people see their character as being threatened by other characters.

They want their character to be better than other people's character.

They want their character to be validated.

And yet the character is imaginary.

It creates so much noise and commotion on the surface.

And all the while,

Underneath all that noise,

There's this miracle called life happening.

It's interesting too,

Because when you look through the filter of this character,

Life as it is in this moment isn't very exciting for the character in such a way that life as it is isn't focused on surviving your character.

It's like saying life isn't concerned about you being better than someone else.

This is funny because in some way,

We've all had that moment where we think life doesn't care about us.

Life doesn't care about what I want.

And as problematic as that might seem,

There's a very liberating truth in that,

That life isn't concerned with who I think I am,

Who I imagine myself to be.

Life is concerned about life.

Life is concerned with what's real.

Maybe concerned isn't the right word.

Maybe we can say that life nurtures life.

Life nurtures what is real.

And when I look at all of my arguments with life,

Wanting things to be this way or wanting things to be that way,

It becomes very obvious that that's motivated through trying to survive my character,

Survive what I think should or should not happen.

Could you imagine if life was concerned with your character in such a way that you say,

Life,

I don't want it to rain because I have plans.

Do you think life is going to reorganize itself so that you can carry on a quest of getting what you want?

I guess in a way it's wise to address that sometimes it looks like life supports your character.

We can tell a story that life is supporting your character in such a way that you could pray to God and say,

Please don't let it rain this weekend.

And it doesn't rain and you tell a story that says God loves me.

And then naturally that gives rise to the other side when it does rain and you think God hates you.

Taking it personally.

And all the while it's not personal at all.

It's not about you.

Do you see this,

How we can tell stories?

Stories that support your character or stories that threaten your character.

And all the while it's not happening at all.

Underneath it all life is just being life.

And you see this is the struggle of man,

A struggle that tries to conquer nature,

A struggle that tries to conquer life.

For what ends?

Why?

Well,

To survive who they think they are,

To dominate life.

And you see the spiritual invitation is to surrender this fight,

To see that what you're fighting for will never be realized in any real way.

The invitation is to lay down the fight.

See,

It's not necessary.

And it's funny because I recognize this battle that happens in the mind,

Like when thinking about the past or thinking about the future.

I can see a fight that shows itself,

A fight that tries to survive who I want to be seen as,

A fight that tries to avoid how I don't want to be seen.

And you know,

It's really quite comical.

And it can be seen in the illustration of being seen by others.

Do you see that it only looks like you're seen by others?

It's a story that's told.

It's like when you match my expectations,

When you show up how I want you to show up,

When you think what I want you to think,

Then I'll tell a story about being seen.

And when the opposite happens,

I'll tell a story of not being seen.

And I've used the illustration a lot about a painting.

If you paint a picture and show it to someone,

They don't see what you painted.

They see their own painting of your painting.

They see their own interpretation.

They don't really see what you see.

Sure,

It can look like it.

And see,

And that is really what it comes down to.

It can look that way.

But is it really that way?

And yes,

It can be fun that it looks this way or looks that way.

But the question here is what is true?

Not what do I imagine?

Do you see the disaster in holding on to what you imagine?

Because you're eventually going to find out it's not really true.

It seems much more wise to know that you are imagining it.

It doesn't make it wrong.

It doesn't make it right.

That's not the issue here.

The invitation is the discernment.

The discernment between what I imagine to be happening and what is really happening.

Such a disaster to cling to what we imagine.

There's the opportunity to enjoy what you imagine.

But the moment you start thinking it's real,

It's when we fall asleep and we confuse the dream for reality.

And this is when suffering arises.

You see,

Suffering is kind of just like the loss of your dream,

Thinking that the dream was real.

And to discern the difference,

To really know the difference,

Allows for a fantastic relaxation into what is real.

It's like realizing you didn't really lose anything.

What I thought I lost is only what I thought I lost.

And also what I thought I gained is really only a dream of gain.

Furthermore,

Look at how this character thinks it does something.

It's like going from point A to point B and then the character tells a story that takes credit.

I did this or I did that.

Who is this I?

If the I is imaginary,

If the character is imaginary,

Can the character do anything that's real?

Does that character do anything?

Or do you tell a story that the character does something?

In the same with other people,

You create characters for them.

You create characters and then you proclaim that the character did something.

And we believe it.

It's almost like the difference between saying you did that or life did that.

It's very much like in the work that I do with speaking to these things.

It's quite obvious that the character of Tiger is not speaking.

It's much like the wind that's blowing.

Is the wind moving the wind?

Or is it life?

Is the wind as a separate something doing its action?

Or is it all of life that moves the wind?

Do you see,

We imagine a character called the wind.

And we imagine this character as separate from everything else.

It's not separate.

It's not its own thing.

And this is the great separation that is projected.

The mind sees two where there's only one.

And it believes in the two.

The mind sees me and you and thinks that we're separate.

When really,

Underneath it all,

It's all the one.

Very much like if we get still and present and the character begins to dissolve,

The stories fade.

You start to make contact with this awake awareness that's empty.

Like something within you is just aware.

There's no story.

There's no name.

There's no me.

There's no separate identity.

There's just awareness.

And in all of us,

That awareness is the same.

That awakeness is the same awakeness looking out from everyone's eyes.

And then do you see how we put a story on top of that awakeness?

And that story is the character of me.

And then we view life from the perspective of that character.

From a perspective that's terribly confused about what's real.

Believing that there's two.

And it distorts everything.

It's purely living in the imagination.

Dreaming while thinking you're awake.

Such a beautiful thing to watch that noise dissolve.

Watch the character disappear.

It's almost like what you are melts into everything.

You become everything.

And maybe we've had this sense or this recognition.

I often connect with it when I'm in nature.

And sometimes I'm in nature and I'm completely lost in my character.

Which is fascinating in and of itself.

To be walking through the forest and not even see the forest.

You see this is what we do?

This is what we do.

We walk through life and we don't even see life.

We just see our character struggling to survive.

Struggling to be real,

Which is impossible.

And it brings with it a constant agitation.

A constant tension.

Trying to control this and control that.

All the while none of it's necessary.

The character struggling to be validated.

Wanting to attach itself to someone else.

It really is super cute.

And again in no way wrong to say it's right or wrong is to simply tell another story about it.

A story that's filtered through a conditioning about how things should or should not be.

And to really see the truth of these things brings you home to the heart.

It lets go of everyone.

And my goodness that is beautiful.

And I'm visualizing this in a relationship sense.

Even a romantic sense where you realize that the other person isn't your property.

They're not here to validate you.

They're not here to be your prisoner.

And it's in that moment they become so extraordinarily beautiful.

You see them with brand new eyes.

With eyes that let go and says be free.

You see it's like being in the forest and wanting something from the forest.

Do you see how if you want something from the forest you're not open to see the forest?

You're not open to see its brilliance,

Its perfection.

It's the same with other people.

And what do you want from other people other than to be validated in some way or another?

Do you see the invitation to let go of these wants because you see they're impossible?

I want you to do something that is imaginary.

Super cute.

I want you to see me how I want to be seen so that I can believe that my character is real.

And that is only going to lead to an inevitable suffering.

Sure it might be helpful temporarily.

And maybe it has its place as we navigate this human experience.

But sooner or later we're going to be faced with the truth of things.

And so maybe we're ready to look at the truth of things.

And the beauty in this is to see the truth of things you recognize you can stop trying to be real.

What a great permission,

Huh?

You can stop trying.

You can relax.

You can let go.

You see because this is the only thing we're ultimately trying to let go of.

This effort in this quest of trying to hold on.

Hold on to what?

Who you think you are?

That's the only thing that's trying to be held on to.

It's only that.

Holding on to another person is simply holding on to your idea of self.

We can tell all sorts of stories about it being something other than that,

But that's what it comes down to.

We are holding on to who we think we are because we are terrified of that emptiness.

We're terrified of seeing that who we think we are don't exist.

That's the fear.

And then we fight that fear.

We fight the truth of that when really it's a great liberation.

It's like,

Die before you die so that you can live.

Die before you die so that you can live.

Because you can see that if you are struggling to survive this character,

Trying to make it real,

You can't live life.

You can't be present.

You can't notice the miracle you're swimming in.

And furthermore,

You can't connect deeply with other human beings.

You can't connect deeply with nature.

You can't truly be alive.

This is so profound and in a way it's so simple.

And I laugh at myself here because I see the insanity in the mind that struggles.

And it's my only struggle.

And I love all the 10,

000 stories that I can tell,

But it's really simple.

I want to be seen.

I want to be validated.

I want something to hold on to.

I'm struggling to be real.

And again,

It's an illustration I've used quite a bit,

But it's kind of like taking a photograph of yourself and holding up that photograph and saying,

Make it real.

Make this picture real.

You see,

Because that's what the character is.

It's a picture in the mind,

An image,

Imaginary,

And it's not real.

There's no life to it.

And in this moment,

What we're doing is just looking at that picture and seeing how unreal it is and how it'll never be real.

And you know,

The funny thing is,

This character in your mind,

The one that you think about constantly,

Nobody else will ever see that character.

And we think about that character as if other people can see that character.

Even if I tell you about my character,

You'll paint a different picture of the character.

It's like,

If I tell you my story,

You don't really experience my story.

It's filtered.

In the same way,

If I stand in a room with a hundred people looking at me,

Everybody creates their own version of Tiger,

Filtered through their own experience.

Nobody actually sees me.

Could you imagine standing in a room like that and saying,

How do I get everyone to see me how I want to be seen?

No one can see you,

Silly.

How exhausting.

It seems much more wise to just relax and be natural,

To let people see whatever they see.

And you know,

My friends,

This is so profound because in that relaxation,

In that naturalness,

There's no violence.

What is the violence other than trying to get people to see how you want them to see,

To think that other people are seeing you?

Do you see how violent that is to say,

See me how I want to be seen,

Which is like saying,

Don't see what you see.

Don't be free.

Be my prisoner.

Do you see the love in this letting go?

Do you see the love in allowing who you think you are to die?

Because who you think you are,

Whether you see it or not,

It's survived through violence.

That's the only way it can try and survive.

And if you get sensitive,

You'll not only recognize it,

But you'll feel it.

That tension,

That angst,

That struggle,

It's violent in nature,

Fighting against.

And all I'm pointing to is an invitation that says,

You don't have to be violent anymore.

Not a requirement.

It's not a demand.

It's an invitation.

It's almost like an invitation that says,

I love you as you are.

You don't need to be this.

You don't need to be that.

You don't need to be seen this way or seen that way.

No one sees you.

And you know,

It's in that space of absolute love where things are really seen.

Like if you allow the forest to be the forest,

Not want anything from it,

That's love.

Be what you are.

That's when you really see it.

And when things are allowed to be what they are,

It's the end of violence.

And when I see that I don't really exist,

I say,

Thank God.

No more violence.

If you look at all the violence in the world,

Especially like countries fighting other countries,

It's imaginary identities fighting for their own survival.

It's the same conflict between two people,

Just expressed in a different way.

If you look at your conflict with another human being,

It's very obvious that what's trying to be survived is a separate identity,

Who I think I am.

I am this,

And I want to be this,

And you are threatening that idea.

For me,

Being that I was raised in America,

It's very obvious.

I'm an American.

What does that even mean?

I'm an idea,

Which is like saying I'm a picture.

Is that true?

I'm this,

I'm that.

No,

You're not.

You're something much more real than that.

You're something so much more real that it can't even be spoken.

There's no word for it,

Because words don't define anything real.

Words cannot touch the real.

The Tao that can be spoken is not the Tao.

Do you see this?

The truth of what you are cannot be spoken,

Which is also like saying the truth of what you are cannot be thought about.

It invites such a stillness.

See what you really are.

It's so funny because because when we're in a space of not seeing what we really are,

We're so noisy in our thinking,

The thinking that's trying to survive the idea.

And it's thinking and thinking and thinking as if it will eventually get to the truth of it.

The thinking cannot get to the truth of it.

What happens is that you exhaust yourself in your thinking,

And then you surrender the thinking.

And you come back to stillness.

And that's where you find the peace.

That's where you find the liberation.

You don't think your way to liberation.

You see that you've already been liberated.

The truth was already the truth.

You don't find the truth through thinking.

You relax and you see a truth that's already there.

You don't find love.

You see that it's already here.

It was never not here.

It just wasn't seen.

And in this recognition,

The experience of being alive transforms so completely.

So completely.

It's like life transforms into a landscape of play,

A celebration,

A deep honoring of aliveness.

You see,

Again,

It's a celebration that's about life as a whole.

It's not a celebration about me,

This character that I imagine.

You see,

Often the human being celebrates a self-validation.

We see this so much in the world,

Where the world celebrates individuals as a separate something that they've been validated,

That they're important.

And yet that human being goes home and in their aloneness they say,

I can't find myself.

Why do I feel like such a fraud?

Is it imposter syndrome?

In a way,

Yeah,

Who you think you are is an imposter.

Who you think you are doesn't really do anything.

That's why our accomplishments of yesterday feel so empty.

That's why the story of self-importance fades away.

And for the unaware one,

They go on trying to feed that self-importance.

I have to achieve and achieve and achieve.

I have to keep the illusion going.

And look,

You're free to play that game.

There's no judgment in it.

But the question is,

How's it going?

And if it's going great,

Fantastic.

Let me know when you start to see beyond the illusion,

When you start recognizing an emptiness where it matters not what you do,

Where you start to recognize it just fades.

It can't be sustained.

Where you start recognizing this play of,

I found myself and then I lost myself.

I got it and I lost it.

You see that only happens to the character.

The character tells a story,

I got it.

And then the character sees that it didn't.

Whoops,

I thought I got something.

It's like you get money and you go,

Yay,

I did it.

And then it changes.

Oh no,

I lost it.

My goodness,

We could go on and on and on.

This discovery touches all aspects of being human.

It's at the core of everything.

I guess in conclusion,

I really invite you to connect with a forgiveness for this character,

To see how the character struggles to do something that's impossible and recognize that that's okay.

And in our forgiveness of the character,

We can say,

You can stop trying.

Not a demand,

Almost like I love you as you are,

Right?

It's like,

You don't have to try and find love in the world.

It's impossible.

It's an illusion.

It's not real.

It's like the self that's trying to get the world to love them.

We can say,

It's okay,

You can stop trying.

That's not a real thing,

But I love you.

And this,

Of course,

Is the only love that we're actually looking for,

A love from within what we are,

That looks out from behind our eyes.

You see this in a way,

It's like,

This is the doorway into truly seeing yourself.

And just like in seeing the forest,

You have to let go of what you want from the forest.

And we can recognize this very loudly,

How much we want from ourselves.

And this want is only fueled by wanting to be validated,

Wanting to be seen.

And we can lay that down for a moment.

We can release the wanting and simply come home to what's already real,

What's already true.

And in this,

You'll recognize that you have everything.

And I don't say that lightly.

Everything that's actually real,

You already have it.

Please see that.

Everything that's actually real,

You already have it.

Look at how everything else is just noise in the mind.

And not only is this true right now,

But it was always true,

And it will forever be true.

It's not just true on the weekends.

What a

Reviews

How can this feel almost contradictory, yet so freeing ~
Letting go feels a little bit like giving up. Now, I get what you mean by saying, "now go play"!
I could listen to, discuss, and reflect on this all day.
But, I bet I'll just go play some more.

Until next time, Tiger 💚🙏

Thanks for this gift, Tiger! This message is so profound and real. It’s a daily challenge to let go and softening this character but it’s the only way to taste the wholeness of this precious life and to be able to feel boundless love… 💛✨🙏✨