Be Still, Ego - Nothing Is Missing (Relax, All Is Well)

Really. The noise is only an imaginary ego. Relax. Join Tiger here for a few and you will see. There’s nothing to fear, all is well.

Tiger points to a quiet wellness — just beyond the ego’s assumption that “something important is missing,” which fuels resistance, exaggerates pain, and sends us chasing an imagined future. From this stillness, acceptance becomes available, even when life hurts, and the grasping relaxes. Tiger reframes the game: we’re not here to get love from the world, but to give it, and in giving, we taste it. Freedom isn’t achieved by doing more. It’s remembered by resting in what’s already true.

Transcript

Can we just take a moment and be still together?

I know that that might not be the most exciting thing,

But if we're going to discover something profoundly liberating from all of these human dilemmas,

Whether it's conflict,

Pain,

Or some flavor of anxiety,

I think it's quite necessary that we take a moment and allow ourselves to see something that maybe we didn't see before.

And so often,

In our modern lives,

We're just constantly scrolling and scanning information,

And I don't see that it is generally information that helps us deal with the real underlying issue.

So often,

It's just a distraction.

So if you're willing,

Let's just be here for a second,

Remind ourselves that this is where we are,

And we're just going to breathe.

You know,

My goodness,

Welcome to being human.

In one way,

It's fascinating because in our everyday lives,

It seems like there's so much happening.

Whether that's so much to do,

Whether it's so many things bouncing around in the mind,

Or whether that's a past that we struggle to outrun,

A lot of this,

It's so noisy.

And the fascinating thing for me,

I guess we can call it the spiritual inquiry,

Is the invitation to get really still and just breathe and realize that so much of what is bothering us,

It's not actually happening.

It's like in the moment,

We imagine so many problems that say it's not okay for you to just be.

So many problems that say it's not okay to enjoy yourself.

So many problems that say you can't accept things as they are.

So many problems that indicate something important is missing.

Can we look at that for a second?

That in some way,

The struggle,

The emotional disturbance,

The agitation that has a hard time just being here,

Underneath it is the assumption that there's something important missing.

And isn't it wild that today,

It's one thing and tomorrow to be something else?

Last year,

It was something and the next year to be something else.

And what's funny is that it's just a different story wrapped around the same thing.

Something's missing.

And yet,

No matter how many years we've traveled this journey,

How many things we thought were missing,

Here we are right now,

Still here.

And I understand that maybe this is difficult to see,

But I'm not going to stop talking about it.

That,

You know,

To be present right now and to just be here,

There is a wellness.

There is a space where there's no problem.

There is a space where you are completely allowed to be what you are.

And in that space,

And again,

Maybe difficult to see,

There's actually nothing missing.

And I can just understand the one who totally cannot see that is full of arguments that say,

Oh yeah,

Oh yeah,

I get it.

But there is this invitation to discern the difference between the mind and all of the things it says is missing.

And then just reality.

Like,

Do you notice that?

Just you and I here right now,

Whatever you're doing,

All is well.

And if you find something that's not reflective of all is well,

Do you see that you find it in the mind?

Even if there's pain in the body,

Do you recognize that you could find some flavor of acceptance where even that is okay?

But how much more does the mind turn it into something that it's not,

Which brings a huge amount of resistance that simply amplifies the pain.

And it's so wild because innocently,

Our humanness exaggerates our humanness.

Through the stories that we tell,

We are exaggerating all manner of drama.

And so much of that drama underneath the narrative of it all is a story that what you do are is not enough.

And if you emphatically believe that what you are is not enough,

Then I agree.

It's going to look like something important is missing.

But is it true though?

I mean,

Really to be here right now?

Is that underlying narrative actually true?

What you are is not enough.

I think a lot of this is rooted in a very innocent misunderstanding about the whole point of life,

The whole point of being alive.

Maybe even the whole point of being human.

You know,

Naturally and comically,

Something I point to quite a bit is the illustration of playing a game.

My goodness.

I mean,

Imagine you're playing a game and you think it's serious.

You think your worth and value is wrapped up in the game.

You think that the outcome actually matters related to your worth and value,

Your lovability.

And we become so anxious playing the game.

You can't just enjoy yourself.

There's too much on the line.

And it's similar for this experience with being human.

We look at our human experience and we imagine so many things to go out and capture.

So many ways of becoming enough.

So many ways of getting what we think we want.

If only in one day you'll be enough.

And it's fascinating because this assumption about the point of life,

Which effectively is that I'm here to get something,

Paints a picture where this life is not about the reality of life,

But it's about getting somewhere in the future.

Isn't that wild?

How on earth are you going to be able to see the miracle of life itself when you assume fundamentally that life is about the future?

Furthermore,

Very playfully,

What is that future other than your idea of a future?

Which is to say,

What is the future other than a dream in your mind?

Do you see this?

And again,

We can look at this super compassionately and just agree that as human beings,

We're quite insane and it's adorable.

But we are living out this fantasy of an existence,

Trying to get to some point of imagination,

Thinking that it's real.

And all the while,

We miss the real prize.

The real prize of simply being alive.

And we have amazingly constructed this society,

Which agrees with this sort of worldview that life is about getting something.

That what you are is not enough and therefore you are here to become enough.

And furthermore,

If you really want to dive into the upside down way of seeing things,

We assume that our emotional experience is caused by what's going on in the world.

Therefore,

The emotional experience that we want,

Which is some flavor of love,

Must come from the world.

We assume that we're irritated because what's going on out there?

We assume that the love we want is given by other people.

We assume that if we're going to feel free,

We need the outside to look a certain way.

That is exhausting.

And it's just wildly upside down.

It's upside down in the way that,

Fundamentally,

You are not here to get something.

Because that would imply you came into the world missing something.

More accurately,

And in a manner of speaking,

You are here to share something,

To give something.

Which implies the important thing is something that you already have.

Furthermore,

The miracle of this is that as you give,

You experience what you give,

Which means you're giving it to yourself.

Right?

Like,

As I give you this joyful smile and laughter,

I get to experience the joyful smile and laughter.

It might look like I'm giving it to you.

No,

I'm giving it to myself for the sake of my own sanity.

Same with everything else.

To spend my time in a joyful service,

Loving on other people,

I get to experience the joyful service and loving on people.

Of course,

That only happens when you recognize you have an immensity of love to give.

Which is very difficult if you think you're missing something vital to your worth and value,

Which is vital to your lovability.

Which is kind of like a perception that sees love as lacking,

And you have to go get it first.

Then you'll share it.

And you try and collect a bunch of love from the outside,

Only to find out that's not where the love is.

Ta-da!

It's like a spiritual magic show.

You had it all along.

And understandably,

I get that it might be confusing.

I totally get that.

But again,

To really see this,

My goodness,

We have to take a moment and be still.

We have to take a moment and get radically honest about our direct experience,

About what's actually going on.

Not what everyone else tells you is going on.

Not what is popular to think is going on.

Not what all the cool kids are believing.

But what is actually real and true in your experience.

And you know what happens when you do this?

And I'm going to say this in a manner of speaking,

Because all of these things are so beyond words.

But as you get still and look at what's going on,

It's like the whole thing unravels and it's seen that everything is happening.

Everything is your creation.

And the problem that made it so difficult was the assumption that it wasn't your creation,

That you were somehow a victim to it,

Which means it was coming from the outside.

And so you had to be super defensive.

You had to protect yourself,

Which is also like saying it's not safe to love.

But of course,

Also,

This is the spiritual discovery,

In some way,

In a manner of speaking,

To see that the entirety of your experience is your creation.

And my goodness,

Aren't there plenty of people in the world to argue with that?

And that's fine.

I was writing the other day,

And it's one of these writings that I don't just put out for the whole world to see.

It was something to the effect of,

I know you've never done anything wrong.

And therefore,

I want you to know you're totally forgiven.

And my goodness,

It's possible that the whole world won't see that.

And maybe you won't see it too.

However,

I still choose to see your innocence.

And I say that because the depth of this discovery about what is real and true,

The more you see it,

The more you will realize that there's no way that the world sees this.

And for you to live in accordance to what is real and true,

Looks like you're going the completely opposite direction of where the whole world is going.

Which is kind of like saying,

The world wants love to be conditional.

I'll love you if.

And you decide,

No,

I just love you regardless.

And then the world says,

Well,

You're crazy.

You need a reason.

It needs to make sense in my mind for love to flow.

Which means I will decide what's worthy of love.

I will be the judge and the jury of who is innocent and who is guilty.

I will be God.

Good luck with that.

Because if you didn't realize this,

The love you don't allow to flow is the love you don't experience inside of yourself.

The love you withhold is only a love that you withhold from yourself.

Likewise,

The hate you extend is only given to yourself.

And of course,

The more it is seen that all is one,

Where else is it going to go?

What a wild,

Wild exploration.

My goodness.

And,

You know,

Comically slash tragically,

We are so lost in our minds about a world not really there.

And in that world,

Not really there,

We have 10,

000 excuses for not letting love flow.

And so often as human beings lost in our dream of a world not there,

We're trying to solve all of these things inside of the dream.

Which makes it painfully exhausting,

Like it never works.

Which is kind of like saying,

Playfully,

This letting go thing sounds nice,

But can you teach me to let go,

But still hold on to these other things?

Letting go sounds nice,

But I don't want to let go of this.

Man,

It would be so wonderful to just drop all of this resentment.

But that one person,

No,

No,

Not them.

No,

Everyone else is fine,

But not that one person that I blame.

Do you see this?

In some way,

We're trying to keep our illusion together.

We're trying to keep our dream alive.

Dream in the context of who we think we are and our quest to be somebody.

Which is a quest to be enough.

And you know,

I get it.

It sounds like a good time trying to be somebody.

How's it going?

You notice you're always almost there.

You almost made it.

And then when you think you made it,

You found out there's so much more work to do.

Whether it's to finally get there or to hold on to where you thought you got.

That's the funny thing,

Right?

Like everything we think we capture in the world,

That was so important to us.

The moment you get it,

You become afraid of losing it.

Right?

Because it's the most important thing.

And if the most important thing for you is in the world,

The thing that is your salvation,

Let's say,

Then the moment you find it,

You fear losing it.

Because it's seen as outside of you.

And you can't even enjoy it.

You have to spend the rest of your time like a prison guard.

Making sure it does exactly what you want it to do.

So it doesn't leave.

Or furthermore,

If you twist it around,

You have to be exactly what it wants you to be.

So it doesn't leave.

It's kind of like getting the dream job that you wanted so badly.

And then they start asking you to do a bunch of stuff that kind of contradicts what you feel is deeply honest and important.

You're like,

Well,

If I'm going to keep this dream job,

Then I have to lie.

I guess that's just what I got to do.

I'm going to totally pretend to be something that I'm not so that I can hold on to this thing that I thought was my salvation.

We do this in relationships as well.

Again,

This all stems from the innocent misunderstanding that what you want is in the world.

And again,

It implies that you're separate from what you want.

Furthermore,

It implies that you are not the creator of your world.

Somebody else is.

And so we effectively become prisoners.

And I hope you see that that's okay.

In another way of saying,

I hope you see how adorable it is.

And I understand if you see that you're in that predicament,

It might not feel adorable.

But that's because we're just so up close to it.

But if we zoom out and maybe don't take it personally,

You can see the funny predicament that you've gotten yourself in,

Where you have tied your worth and value,

Wrapped it up in things of the world.

And if you want to dive really deep,

Those things in the world are simply constructs in your mind.

Whereas you're not really identifying or attaching yourself with things in the world.

That's just a way of speaking.

You're actually identified with content in the mind.

Which is to say further,

You're identified with the imagination,

Which is identified with the unreal.

You've wrapped yourself up in something completely imaginary,

Hoping it would give you something real.

And it's simply suffocating you because it's not giving you real air to breathe.

Does that make sense?

Or is it too poetic?

It's so funny that we can't actually definitively talk about these things with words.

Right?

Like I'm just using analogies.

But if you're hearing me,

And maybe if you're ready to hear it,

Then you can hear what I'm saying.

And then for somebody else,

This sounds like absolute nonsense.

I get it.

And understandably and naturally,

To see these things a little bit more deeply,

The mind can freak out and say,

Okay,

Okay,

What do I do?

What do I do?

How do I escape?

How do I turn it around?

And you know,

Initially what arises is,

Let's just relax for a second.

Let's just breathe.

Because the way out of this has nothing to do with doing something.

Right?

It doesn't require a bunch of activity.

Because the whole issue,

And I mean this so deeply,

Is that it's an innocent misunderstanding.

Meaning there's something that you're just not seeing.

And I can tell you what it is that you're not seeing,

But it doesn't really help you see it.

Right?

I can put words to it.

But to see what it really is,

To see how deeply true it is,

In one way,

That's your journey.

To dive into the reality of your experience and get radically honest with yourself.

In one way,

It's like saying,

You have this question of,

Okay,

Okay,

Okay,

I want to be free.

How do I get free?

And the answer is,

Well,

You have to see that you are already free.

And you just don't know it yet.

You see this,

Like,

To be free isn't something you do to go get free.

You see that you are free.

And we as human beings,

Because we live in the mind,

We assume that there must be something that we need to do.

And if there is going to be any doing,

It's not so much going to be because you have decided that it is the thing to do that will get you the freedom.

Which is kind of like giving it a power over your freedom.

More so,

It'll be a recognition of an inherent freedom.

And that freedom might move in a particular direction which supports the discovery.

Kind of like meditation.

One could engage meditation that says,

Okay,

I'm going to go meditate because I want to be free.

Or someone says,

I know that I am free.

I can't recognize it.

So let me take a moment to be still and remember just how free I am.

Do you see the profound difference in motivation?

If you enter into the spiritual practice trying to get something that you think you don't have,

It'll be a disaster.

Same with relationships.

Same with everything.

And you see in that illustration,

It's just illustrating a very innocent misunderstanding.

For me in my direct experience,

I guess the only way I can think of to illustrate what leads towards the radical opening of this is,

For me,

There was a moment of recognition that,

Oh my God,

This is the most important thing.

What's the most important thing?

In a manner of speaking,

The truth of life.

In another way of speaking,

God.

In another way of speaking,

The deepest sincerity of my heart.

Funny how those are all the same thing and yet none of those things.

You see,

If you want anything other than this truth that liberates,

Then you don't really want this truth that liberates.

So often we want to want the thing and we think we want the thing,

But really we just want to want it.

Because if you look really honestly,

You will see that there are many things that you want more.

And so we say,

Oh yeah,

That sounds nice.

I want to want that,

But I clearly want all this other nonsense.

And that relates to being honest about yourself,

About what you really want.

Furthermore,

You could look at it this way.

The things that you deeply,

Deeply,

Deeply and truly want,

You have.

And so if it is not your experience,

Then in some way you don't really want that.

And we could destroy that and flip it around and say something else entirely.

Which is,

When you really have it,

The want disappears.

Both of those things point to something that's profoundly true,

But they seem to be saying the opposite thing.

Which is almost like,

Maybe,

In your recognition of what is most important to you,

There's something that you want.

In the recognition that it's the most important thing,

Everything else disappears.

There are no other wants.

And if it's seen as the most important thing,

Then it's like you have it.

It sounds cryptic,

Doesn't it?

And that's only because words can't pin it down.

Which is to also say it's not something in the mind.

The mind cannot pin it down.

Which is what makes all of these silly words so playful.

There is simply not the right thing to say about it.

There's the poetic thing.

That was fun.

Reviews

🙏🏼❤️

thanks 🙏 🙏🙏 Tiger

Thank you🙏 I love your practical and honest talks. 💯💃

Beautiful

What an incredible thought provoking talk Tiger. Thank you 🙏

So many insights. I realized that I love the wanting more than I love the having.