A Surrendered Heart | Let It All Go

Are you feeling lost in your thoughts and struggling to find inner peace? Tired of chasing expectations that never fulfill you? This episode offers a refreshing perspective on letting go of control and embracing life's mysteries. Tiger shares poignant insights from his own journey about surrendering ego, trusting beyond what your mind can comprehend, and reconnecting with reality beyond thoughts and stories. Through compassionate guidance and examples, Tiger helps listeners reflect on how we all get tricked by illusion yet holds space for awakening to life's true beauty. If you're seeking to simplify your life and relationship with yourself, this may be the reminder you need to stop, be still, and appreciate the present moment.

Transcript

Don't be so quick to trust the mind.

There's an intelligence and a wisdom that is so beyond the mind's ability to comprehend.

We can be so aggressive in our determination that things must make sense as if the mind can actually comprehend reality.

Wouldn't that be interesting to come to a place of profound seeing where it's okay if things don't make sense?

It's okay if you don't understand something.

Because how often do we go against that and then we just make up stories where it looks like we understand but really we don't know?

We're so uncomfortable with not knowing that we just make up nonsense so that we can pretend like we know something.

I so love that invitation to embrace the unknown.

So welcome.

The title today is A Surrendered Heart,

Let It All Go.

And my inspiration for this topic.

.

.

Let me see if I can articulate this.

My inspiration is the mess of life.

My inspiration is the appearance of things not going how you want them to go.

The appearance of being super confused about your life and what direction you're going.

Being excited about something and then not being excited about something.

The experience of thinking you know something and then finding out you don't know something.

It's such a interesting journey this life thing.

It goes on and on and on and we always kind of find ourselves a little bit right back where we started.

Especially in this great illusion that thinks we're getting somewhere or going somewhere.

And what I find beautifully,

Playfully tragic is the human tendency to really believe that there's some sort of destination.

Whether it's a project that you're doing,

A business that you're building,

A relationship you're engaged in,

Whatever it might be.

It's so easy for the mind to think that there's some future prize.

Like if only XYZ happens then I can finally relax.

If one day I can finally get a hold of this or know that it's going to be a certain way then I can relax.

But yet as experience has taught me time and time again,

You don't really get anywhere.

You always just come back to right now and you're sort of faced with the impossibility of actually holding on to anything.

Which I think is funny because sometimes it really looks like you captured something.

Sometimes it looks like something's going how you want it to go.

But there's this beautiful uncertainty in it always that no matter how solid it looks,

No matter how certain it might seem,

We're inevitably faced with the fundamental element of uncertainty.

The reason that brings me to this title A Surrendered Heart is an opportunity to just be present and still and see that the point isn't to capture anything.

The point isn't to get anywhere.

In fact the invitation is to see the brilliance of this miracle called life.

I mean just being.

Life itself in many ways is enough.

In many ways is the prize itself.

Because sometimes I mean I look at this human experience or I look at nature and I'm like this is weird,

Right?

Like how is this happening?

How are the trees the trees?

How is the sunset the sunset?

And of course we have all of our stories about why there are those things,

But those stories don't tell you anything at all.

It's like beyond all of those imaginary attempts to define things.

It's all such a vast mystery in such a way that this is really just one big miracle that's happening.

And it's comical how easy it is to forget that.

And what I noticed in my experience,

The forgetfulness of that gets lost in the narrative of myself.

Maybe you have this same experience.

I imagine you do.

Where life is being life's brilliance,

Doing this miraculous dance.

And yet we're off living in the mind,

Thinking about who we think we are,

Thinking about what we think we have,

What we think we don't have,

And where we think we're going.

And we completely miss the reality.

The reality of here and now.

The opportunity to be alive.

Whenever I investigate any tension,

Anxiety,

Or stress,

Or suffering of any kind that might be playing out,

It's so incredibly obvious.

I want to say that again.

It's so incredibly obvious that that is revolving around my imaginary character.

It's revolving around who I think I am.

As if who I think I am is a real something,

Rather than just an imaginary narrative swimming around in my mind.

The human experience and this ego character,

Where we all have this idea of who we are in the mind.

And a profound observation is the following.

And I'll just speak in my experience where,

Okay,

I have this idea of who I am,

This character called Tiger.

Not only is that character the source of any suffering,

But that character in my mind can't be seen by anyone else.

Essentially,

Who I think I am cannot be seen by anyone.

It only exists in my mind.

But yet this character has such an intensity of thinking and thinking and thinking as if other people can see my character.

Like it's trying to be perceived a certain way.

It's trying to want something that relates to being seen a certain way by other people.

And it's amazing how much of its agitation and anxiety revolves around what other people might think about its character.

And there's such brilliant comedy in seeing that nobody else can see this character that I am.

And even more than that,

Everyone else will create their own character of me that lives in their imagination.

And I can never see the character they've created for me.

And when I really see that,

I see that all this thinking is irrelevant.

It's like,

It's literally not going anywhere at all,

Which is the invitation for me to take a breath and be like,

Dude,

What do you think is happening here?

And this brings us to a surrendered heart.

Just settle in here and fill into the space because I want to kind of have this be a bit of a slow guided journey.

Will you do that with me?

Will you just hang out here where maybe nothing needs to be said,

But if something gets said,

That's okay.

I think that's so fascinating to be able to have that space where we can just be here hanging out together and we don't need to say anything.

We can just enjoy the space.

And the theme of that space is to just invite ourselves to be present and maybe reflect on some insights that help us to come back to right now.

Maybe we can just let it all go.

Maybe we can recognize all the things that we're holding onto and see that it's just mind noise.

It's just more thinking,

Thinking,

And thinking.

I find fascination in just this little discernment.

My goodness,

The difference between the world that exists in my mind and what's actually happening here now.

It's like,

Oh snap,

There's nothing happening.

Everything that the mind's thinking,

It's not really happening.

And in this invitation to surrender and let it all go,

I see that at the root of that,

I'm invited to surrender my ego.

I'm invited to surrender what I think I want and where I think I'm going.

And even what I think I know,

Because when I get real honest,

I see that I don't really know.

Sometimes I can get so good at pretending that I know and I fool myself.

I think I know.

I think I know how things should be.

I think I know what other people meant.

I think I know what other people's motives are.

I think I know what other people should or should not be doing.

I think I know what I should be doing or should not be doing.

I don't really know.

And so if this invitation is to connect with what's real and true,

How about I start with just getting really honest about what's true,

That I'm pretending to know a lot of things that I don't really know.

And I can see that all of those things that I'm pretending to know is just creating agitation and stress.

Even thinking that I know that I should know.

That's not true.

I don't know that.

You're supposed to have a plan.

Am I?

I don't know that.

It's supposed to be like this,

Supposed to be like that.

Is it?

Can we surrender that?

Which is really just being honest.

You know what this reminds me of?

Is that classic phrase that says,

Lean not on your own understanding.

For me,

What this is pointing to is,

Don't be so quick to trust the mind.

There's an intelligence and wisdom that is so beyond the mind's ability to comprehend.

And we're so quick to trust our thinking.

We can be so aggressive in our determination that things must make sense as if the mind can actually comprehend reality.

Wouldn't that be interesting to come to a place of profound seeing where it's okay if things don't make sense.

It's okay if you don't understand something.

Because how often do we go against that?

And then we just make up stories where it looks like we understand,

But really we don't know.

We're so uncomfortable with not knowing that we just make up nonsense so that we can pretend like we know something.

I so love that invitation to embrace the unknown.

And I love it because it's just so true.

Not that I should,

But it's just the truth that I just,

I really don't know.

Sure,

It might seem like this.

It might seem like that.

But do I really know that?

No.

And I'm not suffering over what it seems.

I'm suffering over what I think I know.

And it's so interesting to examine what I think I know only to see that I don't.

And that will either terrify you or liberate you.

Let it all go.

What are we letting go of?

Everything we think we know.

Even if it's what you think you want.

How many times have you thought you wanted something?

Like really believed you wanted it only to find out that you didn't.

Or to find out it's not what you thought it was.

And if you've had that experience,

How can you ever trust the mind again?

Because you've been so convinced before.

How do you know you're not playing that same game right now?

The ego has a really hard time with this because of course it wonders,

Well,

How do I operate?

How do I function?

That's definitely a completely different way of functioning.

That's for sure.

It's like living this life without,

Without having to prove yourself.

I don't think the ego would be such a big fan of that approach.

Living this life with an underlying okayness with whatever happens.

I heard that quote once.

I forget who it was that said it,

But something to the effect of enlightenment is just being okay with whatever happens.

Because of course,

Whatever happens isn't what we think happens.

Things happen and we tell stories about the things that are happening.

And we think our stories are happening.

When you see that it's not really your story that's happening,

Then what's happening isn't that big of a deal.

Isn't that another interesting discernment,

Right?

When life is happening,

It's like energy dancing,

Different points of energy moving around on the surface.

And we tell stories about what it means and those stories aren't really happening.

We're putting those stories on top of reality,

But we think those stories are actually out there.

They're not.

So we're not even responding to what's happening.

We're responding to our stories.

We can take that same sort of insight and just ask ourselves,

What do you think is going on in your life right now?

And immediately you'll see the story.

Is that really happening?

Is that what's happening?

Or is that just how you've painted it?

Is that what you've turned it into?

What's really happening?

And for me,

In moments,

When I asked that question,

Looking for some sense of sanity,

What I always come upon is,

Oh,

I'm scared.

That's what's happening.

I can say all my stories are happening.

Those aren't happening.

What's happening is I'm here now and I'm scared.

What am I scared of?

My stories.

Before seeing that though,

I thought I was scared of reality.

I thought I was scared of what's happening.

But with a little discernment,

I see,

Oh,

I'm just imagining monsters that aren't really there.

Okay.

So what's really here?

Ah,

Invited into presence,

Surrender the noise,

Come back to reality.

I see that this is so much a part of the journey where it's this continual surrendering of any egocentric agenda that I might have,

Where somehow this character in the mind is thinking that life is about me.

Cause isn't that what the ego's always asking?

But what about me?

What about what I want?

And it's so fascinating to see that this character isn't even real.

It's not really about the character.

There's so much peace and serenity and seeing that life is about life.

It's about the whole thing.

It's about this miracle that we're swimming in.

And then in recognizing this,

There's something in me that just wants to show up and serve.

Like when it's no longer about me,

When it's no longer about proving myself or being seen a certain way,

It's almost,

I look upon the landscape with different eyes and ask,

How can I help out here?

How can I serve?

And how can I enjoy doing it?

What are playful ways for me to contribute?

And maybe I don't know,

Can I be okay with that?

Maybe it's not time for that right now.

You see,

It's not really a question of what should I do?

I think that's trying to fuel the ego,

Like to be approved of or to be seen as right or afraid of being seen as wrong.

I think the deeper question is,

What would I enjoy?

What do I want to learn?

What do I want to explore?

You're here on an adventure.

What kind of adventure do you want to go on?

Not what should you do?

You don't have to do anything.

And of course,

If one spends a large part of them,

Their lives,

Repressing that sort of sincerity,

When they finally get an invitation to be that kind of free,

They might freak out and create a list of a thousand things to do that might be wild and extreme,

Much like a child who leaves home after 18 years of being repressed,

And then goes out and gets involved in a bunch of craziness.

Sharing my example,

Thinking that I was experiencing freedom,

Not realizing that's not really what I wanted.

In life being about life,

It's also saying that life is about the truth of life,

Which is also saying life is about what's true inside of you,

Because what you are is life as well.

You are also this something called life,

But this something that you really are is so different than the character you imagine yourself to be.

There's a deeper reality to what you are,

Held in the same importance as the importance of life.

And in a way that's saying the heart of what you are,

The sincerity of what you are.

You know,

It's fascinating too,

Because it's like the ego's agenda is to sacrifice the sincerity of what you are.

Maybe the ego pretends to care about you,

But really what it wants is approval from other people.

Really what it wants to do is to protect its image,

And so it wants to go after those things before it actually takes care of the reality of you.

We can get so caught up in the story of where we think we're going,

Chasing clouds,

We forget about being kind to our own hearts.

We forget about taking time to take care of ourselves.

Isn't that amazing that there would be something more important than taking care of yourself,

The one that you are that's here living life?

We can be so preoccupied with taking care of other people,

We ignore what we are,

And then we're not very good at taking care of other people.

And so if you're going to be in service,

If you're going to help take care of others,

You have to take care of the one who takes care of others,

Or else the one who takes care for others will not do a good job taking care of others.

So let's surrender the noise a bit,

Huh?

Just let it all go.

All right,

Lovelies,

I think I'm done running my mouth.

For those listening live,

Is there anything you want me to speak on before we wrap up?

Michelle says,

Speak to being in creating the energy of money.

I almost want to say,

Forget about money and just go add value to people's lives.

Just go be of genuine service,

Go play,

Go love on people.

And then as you get really good at loving on people in a particular way,

You'll find opportunities to exchange value,

Which is to get paid.

The worst thing we can do is,

As far as I'm concerned,

Is go and try and make money for the sake of making money.

I mean,

Unless that's the game you enjoy playing.

I'd rather make money by doing things that I really enjoy doing.

Do what you got to do.

It's very simple.

You really got to look at these things from your own experience.

It's so funny when we try and say,

But what about these people?

And what about those people?

That's not the point.

The point is your experience.

It's so distracting to look at the world and project suffering onto everyone and think we know what they should or shouldn't have,

How it should be going or shouldn't be going rather than just coming home to your own experience and doing what you can with what you have,

Where you are.

Amber asks if I have any personal examples of dealing with ego.

I've got a thousand examples,

But it's always the same story.

And that story is essentially the awareness of what I am gets trapped in a story that I think is happening,

That I think is about me.

And it's very much like being hypnotized.

And the invitation is for me to wake up from that hypnosis and see what's actually going on.

And life has set up this beautiful mechanism called pain.

If I'm experiencing emotional pain,

Then I am wrapped up in my ego.

It's not wrong and it's not bad.

It's just a little alarm that says,

Come home.

What do you think is really happening?

And that pain just invites me to see things more clearly.

And it's fascinating to see that it's,

It's,

It's fascinating to see how easy it is to get lost and to buy into all those stories.

It's a fascinating exploration that requires a lot of self-honesty.

And sometimes when we're in pain,

It's difficult to see these things.

And so I'm tempted to just not say much about it.

And then when the one is ready to see,

They can see,

But maybe it's,

It's better found and not looking at present experiences,

But past experiences and see how the things we suffer over underneath the suffering is a fear that you're not enough.

That's the pain.

Whether you think you're suffering over somebody else in your life,

Right?

It could be a relationship or a family member.

The suffering isn't really about what's happening.

Suffering is the fear that what you are isn't enough.

It's a crisis of personal identity and that's the ego.

And we attach our identity with other people in our lives.

And so it looks like we're suffering about other people,

But we're actually suffering about our own identity that is attached with them.

Like I find my worth and value through this other person that I'm attached to.

So if something happens to them,

It feels like it's happening to me and that's all fine.

You know,

That's part of being human,

But there's a deeper truth to what's happening,

Which is what we think is happening.

Isn't really happening.

What you think this means about you,

Which is what you're suffering over.

It doesn't really mean that.

And so interesting.

It is that when we're lost in that suffering,

How difficult it is to actually show up and support those people in our lives.

This is partly why there's a playful urgency to wake up,

Especially if we genuinely care about those people in our lives,

Because if we just remain in a state of suffering,

We're not of much service.

It's much like looking out in the world and you can perceivably find a bunch of things to suffer about,

But what good are you to the world?

If you're just at home suffering,

Even though there's plenty of people who believe their suffering is a great service,

It makes them feel important.

How to take care of self when you feel you have no sense of self when you're so fused with ego that once you remove it,

You can't find yourself.

Don't even know what direction to go.

There's a natural self-care that emerges when the ego isn't focused on future and past.

There's a natural caretaking in the way that when you're hungry,

Your body lets you know that you're hungry,

And that's a form of taking care of yourself.

It says,

Hey,

It's time to put some fuel in your body to take care of the body.

Or maybe you get the inclination,

It's time for a shower.

These aren't things that you try to do.

They're inherent,

But we can get so far removed from this natural guidance because we're so focused on what we think things should be or shouldn't be,

Or because we're so afraid of our imaginary monsters,

We kind of get out of touch with the effortless flow of self-care.

And then,

Of course,

The ego can get involved with self-care,

And then that becomes its own charade of self-care.

It just,

It takes it to an extreme.

There's so many potential things to let go of,

Huh?

There's,

You know,

Imagine there's a thousand people watching live right now,

And each one of them has something that's going on that they think is important,

But they want to let go of it.

Or you can say,

There's a thousand things going on in the world.

How do I let go of the thousand things?

Here's the point.

It doesn't matter what you think the thing is.

It's all a belief in the thing.

The letting go is to see that the thing is not really a thing.

You're holding on because you think it's real,

Which is also like saying you're holding on to a meaning.

You're holding on to what you think it means,

Rather than acknowledging a deeper sincerity that you don't really know what it means.

That's kind of the letting go,

Is the letting go of what you have turned this into based on your determination to label it as this or that.

Do you really know it's that?

Do you really know it's not supposed to be raining when it's raining?

Do you really know that it should be raining when it's not raining?

Do you really know that the bugs shouldn't be fighting?

Do you really know that that tree should not have fallen over on your house?

Do you know that?

It's like we're proclaiming over and over again that life is somehow making a mistake,

Or proclaiming that God doesn't know what God is doing in order to keep this whole dance alive.

Trying to use the mind to figure out that which is beyond the mind.

Gosh,

What a beautiful thing it is to have some awareness of what exists beyond the mind,

Or to at least have some awareness of this vast limitation of the mind.

How much it can't see.

It can't see the interwovenness of all things.

It can't see the divine symphony that's happening.

This is why when you live from the mind,

Things look chaotic.

Things look like they don't make sense.

Things look like they don't fit together.

But there's so much that the mind's not seeing.

The invitation to be still is terrible advice for the ego,

Because the ego's like,

What am I going to do with that?

There's a thousand things I need to fix.

I need to change.

I need to make better.

I need to stop or start.

How is being still going to help me with that?

Being still is going to put your ego out of a job,

Because you're going to see that all of that's nonsense,

And that's not what the ego wants.

The ego doesn't want to see that what it thinks is so important isn't important.

The ego wants it to be important,

So it's going to keep thinking about it,

And thinking about it,

And thinking about it,

And reinforcing its story about why it's so important,

All in an effort to make itself important.

The invitation here is to have these experiences,

To live this aspect of being human,

And just be willing to see beyond all this noise.

At least in my experience,

Looking back at this journey,

It's so obvious how easy it is for the mind to get lost in illusion,

And to believe its own thinking,

And to get tricked by its own thinking.

At some point,

There's the invitation to realize that this life thing isn't about what the mind thinks.

There's something so much more real,

And profound,

And true than whatever we imagine to be happening.

There's something much more sacred,

And I understand for a lot of people,

They haven't sort of looked beyond that curtain yet.

For them,

What they think is what's real.

They can't discern the difference between the world they imagine to be happening,

And what's really happening.

They think that what they're thinking is happening,

Not seeing that their thinking is a projection onto what's happening.

It's like looking at another human being,

And thinking that they are your thoughts about them.

It's looking at life,

Looking at circumstance,

And thinking slash believing how you see it is the way it is.

Maybe you can remember a time in your life where you couldn't discern the difference,

Where you really thought your thinking was reality.

There's a profound holy shit moment waiting to emerge,

Where it's like,

I'm not even seeing reality.

I'm just seeing my mind's content.

That's to be lost in the dream,

And to wake up to life is to see life without this filter,

Without this projection.

Of course,

When you do,

That's when the gates of heaven open up.

That's when you see reality as it really is.

That's when you see circumstance as it really is.

Again,

It's silly to even talk about it,

Because until you see it,

Maybe it sounds like nonsense,

But when you see it,

You see it.

Maybe you've seen it to certain degrees.

It's like being lost in your mind's content,

Going on a walk,

And then you get captured by the sunset.

You say,

Oh my God,

And something in you gets taken by how beautiful life is,

But you didn't see life because you were lost in your mind's argument with last week,

Thinking that that was happening.

You didn't see life at all.

It's also funny too,

Because we're trying to get out of the dream with more dream content.

We're trying to get out of thinking by thinking,

Which really speaks to the invitation to just shut up,

Just be still,

And just find a willingness within yourself to at least ask,

What's really true here?

What's real?

This is the big transformation too,

Is the transformation from the question,

What do I want,

To the question,

What is really true?

My goodness,

This is a whole nother talk,

But most people,

Including myself,

There's moments where we're just caught up in the question,

What do I want?

We think that's the important question,

But that just leads you further into the dream.

The way out of the dream is to ask,

What is really true?

You don't come to this question until you've exhausted the game of what do I want,

And you find out for yourself that that doesn't go where you're trying to go.

You think that,

Oh,

If I can just get what I want,

Oh,

If it can just look how I want it to look,

Then I can get to where I'm supposed to be.

It doesn't go that way.

The way you get to what your soul is actually looking for,

It's by way of seeing what's true,

By reconnecting with reality.

Yeah,

And that's a journey,

And I would say it's the journey that we are here to go on.

I've been talking about the same stuff.

It's so funny.

Everything I've said today,

I've been saying the exact same thing for 15 years,

And I never get tired of it because it's the most beautiful thing.

It's the most beautiful thing to see this again and again,

Which essentially is seeing how glorious reality really is.

It's the thing that keeps me sane as I travel this journey of being human,

Is to remember what's really true.

Reviews

Wow. That nailed it! Of course, I'll forget it because my response is to THINK about it rather than rest in this unfolding.

Thank you for this simple concept of sitting in stillness and appreciating the moment. .

Oooh my God! It’s crazy! Our mind it’s so crazy
reconnect with our own true in stillness 🙏🏻👌🏼

Your talks always have so many layers that I have to listen to them several times… And each time I peel another layer away and have a deeper understanding. Thanks tiger 🙏🌈💯🦋🌼✨🕯️🌻🌹

Just wonderful. After 200 miles on the Appalachian trail I have a foot injury that needs time to heal. My mind is everywhere but where is my heart? Let go. Things are just where they are meant to be.

Mind created content really leaves your head in a spin. Come back to reality, come back to what's true. Yes !! ❤️