On Overwhelm - Understanding The Gift Of Overwhelm

On overwhelm - How feelings, thoughts and behaviours of overwhelm are vital information about your current capacity. A meditation on the benefits of overwhelm and how to address it and through that dissolve it. Learn about the triangle of time, tasks and resources and how triangulation is the tool you need to understand, manage and grow the edges of your capacity.

Transcript

Give yourself a moment to arrive here.

Take your time to shuffle your body and yourself into a posture and a state that feels most comfortable for you at this point.

Whether that's adjusting something or simply allowing your experience to come into land,

Give yourself a breath to slow down and arrive from where you have been to where you now are.

It can be helpful to orientate yourself in space and time.

Reminding yourself where you are and I do mean that literally what's the actual physical space you're in.

Then remind yourself what day it is and what time of day it is.

You have given yourself this space and this time to invest in your own experience.

It is likely that your mind will wander as it is likely that your feelings will ebb and flow.

This is perfectly normal and understandable.

Go gently with yourself during this time and remember that you can listen to it as often as is helpful to you.

Now in your own time gently soften the force that is within you.

Now in your own time gently soften the focus of your eyes or close your eyes.

Whatever feels most helpful to you at this point as you open up to this meditation.

Our focus in this meditation is the feeling of overwhelm.

Chances are if you're feeling overwhelmed you're feeling quite speedy.

There's a sense of pressure but it's also likely to be a sense of constriction like you're at the edges of your capacity.

And that you are sailing so close to the wind that anything new,

Anything else coming in,

A task that needs to be done or a person or a loved one that needs something from you is likely to rattle you and either leave you feeling kind of paralysed or demotivated or feeling a bit snappy or cranky.

That response and those behaviours become understandable when we see them for what they really are.

These behaviours are often coming from our fight,

Flight and freeze response which is our survival response.

It's the response that kicks in when we feel threatened.

Now we often perceive threat as something that is life threatening or we talk about it in terms of I don't know saber-toothed tigers.

But we can also feel threatened when we are at the edges of our capacity and we're being asked either through tasks or people to do more than we are capable of.

And so we either snap like a crocodile or we retreat and flee so we avoid or we go into freeze which is when we shut down and it's almost like the lights are on but nobody's home.

Now given that overwhelm is an uncomfortable feeling we tend to try and avoid it.

We tend to try and pretend it's not happening or we try and just move faster or just drink more coffee or give ourselves a hard time for not being able to do more than we're doing right now.

My invitation to you is to check out that thinking.

One of my favourite questions is is it helpful?

And I imagine giving yourself a hard time for feeling overwhelmed or suppressing the feeling of overwhelm is very unlikely to be helpful.

Not only does it make you feel bad about yourself but also what it does is it makes you feel like you're being attacked.

It makes you feel like you're being attacked by yourself but also what it does is that it dismisses the valuable information that overwhelm has.

We need overwhelm.

We need to let us know how much we can do or feel or think.

Give yourself a moment and imagine if you never ever felt overwhelmed.

Chances are the initial response is bliss.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

But actually if we look a little bit more deeply,

If you never felt overwhelmed,

What would that suggest?

Chances are it would mean that you are living within a very small framework and you're keeping things very,

Very safe,

Which may have been helpful to you at some point.

But if we never venture just a little bit further,

Chances are we're not feeding our sense of self or our soul,

We're not seeking adventures or new experiences or joys.

We're not actually living our full potential.

Interesting,

Right?

Now my second invitation to you here is to do a little bit of a thought experiment.

Imagine that overwhelm felt comfortable.

Now if overwhelm felt comfortable,

It would be missing the mark,

Wouldn't it?

Because chances are it wouldn't be showing you something that you need to change or address because you'd be comfortable,

Right?

You may not have thought about overwhelm in this way before,

So give yourselves a moment here to let your mind wander,

Have a look.

Almost like if you were holding overwhelm as an object in the palm of your hand,

And you're looking at it from different perspectives.

So,

If you're looking at something,

You're looking at something else.

You're looking at something in the palm of your hand,

And you're looking at it from different perspectives.

Remember,

Feelings are always information.

And the information in overwhelm is almost always that you are at the edges of your capacity.

Now that doesn't mean that you can't grow your capacity at some point,

Possibly,

Depending on what's going on,

But it means that in this current moment,

You are at the edges of your capacity.

So,

Something needs to change.

It could be that you need to give yourself a bit more time to do something.

It could be that some of the engagements,

Appointments or tasks that you have aren't as important as they feel at first glance,

And you can actually not do them without any repercussions,

Or without very little repercussions.

Or thirdly,

It could be that some of the tasks or appointments or people,

You can actually delegate that to somebody else.

You can get help.

And in that way,

You are adjusting the tasks that you have.

You are adjusting the tasks that you've set yourself or you have been set.

You are adjusting the time or the time frame,

And you are adjusting your resources.

I often talk about this as triangulation.

It's the triangle of time,

Tasks and resources.

And when we can't square that triangle,

When we're trying to fit 10 hours worth of activities into a three-hour slot,

It's not fair on us to expect us to be able to magic that to happen.

We live within a limited realm of capacities.

There are 24 hours in the day.

There is only so much weight you can lift.

There's only so fast you can walk.

You get where I'm going with this.

Knowing where the edges of your capacity are is very important because then you can more accurately use all your capacity.

And if it is something that's within the realm of growing it,

Let's say,

For example,

Your physical strength,

And assuming you don't have a health condition that limits that,

You could actively build your strength.

But chances are you won't have it done by the end of today.

So that would be a medium or a longer term goal to help you grow.

So that would be a medium or a longer term goal to help you manage your overwhelm.

This is important.

Feeling overwhelmed does not mean that you are inadequate.

Feeling overwhelmed does not mean that you're not good enough.

Feeling overwhelmed does not mean that you're not okay.

Feeling overwhelmed is information.

Feeling overwhelmed is information about your current capacity.

So give yourself a moment to observe and absorb what you are learning.

Notice the sensations that you are experiencing now,

The emotions and the thoughts.

And with your breath,

Stay here for a wee while.

Stay here for a wee while.

As you live your breath,

Expand your awareness throughout your body,

Feeling the sensations from the top of your head to the tips of your toes,

Noticing whatever details your awareness is bringing to your attention.

Yeah.

Give thanks to yourself and to the thoughts and feelings that have come up during this meditation.

Without you investing your time and your focus in getting curious,

You would not be learning why these feelings are showing up and what valuable information they contain.

It can feel strange to give thanks to your overwhelm,

But my invitation to you is to recognise the gift of that information and how it's more helpful to give thanks to yourself.

And how it's more helpful to get curious about what is going on and how your triangle of time,

Tasks and resources is squaring up when the feeling of overwhelm shows up.

It needs both you and your feelings to take your experience forward.

Now in your own time,

Get a sense of expanding your awareness beyond yourself and your body to the space around you and the sounds that you can hear.

And when you're ready,

Gently,

Gently,

Open your eyes.

Take this with you forward from here,

Going gently with yourself.

And remember,

It's more helpful to be curious about what is going on in your life.

And remember,

It's more helpful to be curious than critical.

Thank you.

Reviews

A new way to view overwhelm… and I love “It’s more helpful to be curious than critical.” Thanks!

This was really helpful. I never realized that overwhelm is necessary, but now it makes sense. I seem to learn something every time I am overwhelmed. Thank you.

That was lovely. Pretty on point with my state of being for several months now. I appreciate the feeling of overwhelm being explained as a gift, that I should sit with it and be curious as to what it’s teaching me, as opposed to feeling inadequate. I will keep this in my favorites list and use it as a tool, as I explore where I am in my current capacity each day.
Namaste 💞🙏

A simple, and much needed, reminder of why we feel overwhelm. Thor has a way of guiding the meditation so that you feel like it was made just for you. Thank you!

Thank you so much. I was feeling like I was a failure for not being able to do everything and for getting overwhelmed, and this meditation has helped me to look at my feelings and situation from a different perspective

I found this is really helpful and calmed me and my racing thoughts down.

This was incredibly helpful as I have been overwhelmed all day. So this was just what I needed—it helped me ground myself and see the feeling of overwhelmed in a new light (even be thankful for it). Thank you, Thor!

Gostei bastante. Ampliou minha visão sobre esse sentimento. Obrigada.

Insightful and informative, I love the idea that if you didn’t feel overwhelm at times, you could be living a very limited life, not challenging yourself to grow.

Thanks for this! I caught this just at the start of my overwhelm and it’s already feeling better. I’ll always consider it in this way from now on. Namaste 🙏

Excellent guided meditation. Your voice, the message, exactly what we needed to hear.

Loved that, it was very helpful for me at this moment. Really put into perspective how I can think about what’s going on. Not really a meditation though. Thank you for it, I will listen again for sure.

This was exquisite and I'll be listening to it all weekend to work through the blocks. Thanks for addressing the freezer factor—that's what I struggle with!

I feel deeply understood and uplifted 🙏🏼🌍🌱 thank you for your support and guidance 🌈❤️

I found it helpful to be curious about my overwhelm thank you for this perspective 😘🙏

Thoughtful. Smart. Instead of passifying ourselves (which is insulting to me, personally) or attempting to be different, we’re invited to honor ourselves and our experience. I so appreciate your perspective. And your insight. Thank you.

Great perception on overwhelm and easy to apply change in thought pattern

Really thought provoking (within space of meditation!). I enjoyed listening to your voice. Thank you

This was exactly what I needed. Thank you for your wisdom 🌈

Much appreciated. Now feeling curious rather than critical.