Case 5.
Fa Yong Seen Buddha Fa Yong led the fourth patriarch,
Dao Xin,
To his hermitage.
There were many tigers and wolves around the hermitage,
And Dao Xin raised his hands as if he were frightened.
Fa Yong said,
You still have this one in your mind?
Dao Xin asked,
What did you see just a moment ago?
Fa Yong was silent.
A few moments later,
Dao Xin wrote the word Buddha on the rock Fa Yong sat on when he meditated.
Fa Yong looked at this word with fright.
Dao Xin said,
You also still have this one in your mind?
In this tradition,
This one can refer to something like a small sense of self,
Like ego.
When Fa Yong said,
You still have this one in mind,
He saw that the response was one of fear.
In reality,
This was just a test to show fear,
To see Fa Yong's response.
To say you still have this one in your mind was showing a bit of a crude understanding.
My first reflection was,
Enlightenment doesn't mean you have no fear.
It means you have fear in a proper,
Harmonious response of fear when it's appropriate.
This reminded me of the old Zen saying.
When I first started studying Zen,
A mountain was a mountain.
After a while longer of studying,
The mountain was no longer a mountain.
After even longer studying Zen,
I realized the mountain was a mountain again.
This reminded me of the sense that before I started studying Zen,
Fear was fear.
After I studied for a while longer,
I realized that fear is an illusion.
Fear is not fear.
Then,
Studying even longer,
I realized that fear is fear again.
This is to say that when we begin studying Zen,
Things are ordinary.
When we study longer,
We realize that beneath the ordinary,
There is a sense of non-ordinary or non-being.
In the beginning,
There's being.
Then,
There's non-being.
When we study longer again,
We realize there's being again.
This is as with the mountain.
This is as with fear.
So,
Before you study Zen,
Feel fear.
After you study Zen,
You find a space in your mind beyond fear.
Untouched by fear.
Later,
You study Zen,
You realize,
I can choose to respond appropriately with this fear right now.
You see,
Is this fear appropriate?
Yes.
I will choose to respond with this fear.
In reality,
After reading Dr.
Yi Wu's commentary again,
I realized that Dao Tsang,
His understanding was even deeper than I thought.
He had so much time and space in his mind that he just chose to put on a ruse of fear.
He knew the tiger and wolves were there.
He knew that it's natural to have fear.
He knew Fa Yong would be watching him.
He tested Fa Yong to see what would his response be if I show fear right now.
Fa Yong's response showed a crude understanding.
Then Fa Yong,
When he saw the word Buddha on his meditation rock,
He knew true fear.
He knew an unenlightened fear that he was afraid to sit on a rock with the word Buddha on it.
In this moment,
When he was exposed,
Then he realized he had also shown fear.
Then he realized we should not even fear the word Buddha if our mind is truly pure.
Then he achieved some enlightenment.
