Learning To Hold & Be Held

This quiet somatic tracking practice is to help you learn how to not only allow yourself just to be held but also expand your own capacity to hold your internal experiences -- pleasant or unpleasant -- with love and open arms. Whatever arises within you is okay, and you can welcome it here.

With practice, all of your various parts and experiences will feel held in this loving spaciousness you offer. In turn, you're showing your brain it is safe to feel whatever arises.

Duration: 26 minutes

Transcript

Welcome to the somatic tracking practice for unpleasant emotions and any other internal experiences that you don't want to be having but you are.

This is about building your capacity to hold all of it no matter what it is.

So as we get started I invite you to look around the space where you are and just find a spot that feels as comfortable as you can feel right now.

Allow your body to settle in to wherever you are.

You can adjust yourself as needed now or at any point during this practice to help yourself be just as comfortable as you can be right now no matter what is happening inside your body,

Mind,

Heart.

If you'd like you can close your eyes or allow your eyes to rest,

Your busy tired eyes.

Just allow your eyes to rest and let yourself sink into the chair,

The bed,

The floor wherever you are even more.

You might notice that you're holding your body as if you're helping yourself be held by the chair or the couch or the bed or the floor as if you're holding yourself up but really the chair,

The couch,

The bed,

The floor,

Those things are what's holding you.

So allow yourself just to be held.

You're being held up without your having to do any work at all.

All you're doing is breathing and following my voice.

Notice your breathing as we come into this practice.

Just be quiet for a moment and just notice your breathing.

You don't have to do anything with it.

No matter what it's doing right now,

Shallow or deep,

Fast or slow,

Just allow it to be just as it is.

You're showing it,

It's okay.

It can be however it is,

That's alright.

Letting yourself breathe at your own rhythm,

Just notice your body and wherever your body is touching what you're sitting or lying on and again reminding yourself that you're being held up already and your body can soften.

Your body and all the places it's making contact,

It can just settle,

Soften,

Loosen,

Relax.

You don't need to hold yourself up.

You can just settle into being held.

How nice it is to realize we can just be held.

There's nothing else we need to do.

As we breathe and just allow whatever it is that's happening to happen,

See if you can just imagine that today you're going to be expanding your capacity to hold whatever is happening inside of you.

Whatever it is,

It doesn't matter what it is,

Whether it's quote pleasant,

Neutral or quote unpleasant,

It doesn't matter.

Today you are expanding your capacity to hold all of those internal experiences and all of those internal experiences,

Whatever emotions you're having right now,

Sensations,

Maybe emotions about the sensations,

Thoughts about the sensations and the emotions and stories about the whole thing and what it means.

Just imagine that all of these internal experiences,

They know that they're being held by you just as you are being held by the chair or the couch,

The bed,

The floor.

They can relax into being held by you.

And the bigger they are,

The better.

The more there is,

The better.

You're just expanding your capacity to hold all of it with compassion and curiosity,

Even love.

So that's what you're doing today as you practice this with me.

You are building that skill.

You're expanding your capacity.

You're showing yourself what you're capable of.

You're reminding yourself of your own bravery and strength.

If you're here today,

My guess is you are having some internal experiences,

Emotions,

Feelings,

Thoughts,

As well as sensations,

Any or all of the above,

That maybe you don't want to be experiencing right now.

And that's okay.

But you're building this skill.

You're practicing this skill of just allowing all of it to be here just as it is.

You are practicing giving yourself the message that it's okay.

You got this.

You can handle it.

You already are.

You're already experiencing these things.

Whether you like it or not,

You are and you're handling it.

You are bigger than all of these feelings,

Sensations,

Emotions,

Thoughts,

Thoughts,

Stories.

You might imagine that you are a loving parent looking on your distressed child or a loving adult looking on a distressed child,

Even a distressed animal that works for you.

And these experiences you're having inside yourself that you are noticing,

They're calling your attention right now today.

You're noticing them as if they are this distressed child or animal that wants you as the loving adult to comfort it,

To be there with it,

To allow it to have its emotions,

Its experience,

Just to be comforted by your presence,

Your unwavering presence.

And tuning in to the feelings you're having inside,

They may be shifting and changing.

They may be staying the same.

Whatever it is,

It doesn't matter.

New things may be arising,

Suddenly calling your attention to a different part of you.

That part may get a lot of attention and then another part gets jealous and calls you over there and that's okay.

It's all okay.

It's all normal.

But you're just imagining that these parts,

They just want your love and presence.

You want to know that it's okay.

And you're there as this loving adult looking upon this distressed little being.

You might even say,

I see that you're hurting.

I see that you're distressed.

I'm so sorry.

I'm here.

I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not going to ignore you or turn you away.

I'm not going to pretend you're not there.

I'm not going to move away from you.

I am turning toward you and I'm here.

I'm listening.

I see you're hurting and distressed and I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

You can just let it out,

Whatever it is.

It's okay.

Maybe there are other parts now inside you that are wanting your attention now over here or over there.

There may be multiple parts of you trying to get your attention right now.

They may be excited that you're down here with them listening.

You're sitting beside them,

That you're here,

That you're giving your compassion and love and giving them this really kind attention.

There's no pushing away in this attention.

There's only turning toward with this sort of equanimity that you have,

This skill you're building.

It's really just expanding your capacity to hold all of these parts with this equanimity,

Which reminds them that they're being taken care of.

They can relax.

They've got a wise adult here,

Your adult wise self,

Your deepest wisest self can hold all of it.

Just like the chair,

The bed,

The couch,

The floor.

It's holding you now,

Just like that,

Without judgment,

Without complaint,

Without turning away,

Without shirking its duty to hold you.

It is holding you all the same.

It is loving you and being kind to you and holding you and allowing you just to relax into it,

Right?

Just the same way you are holding all of these parts of you,

No matter how quiet or loud,

Fast or slow that they are being right now,

It doesn't matter.

It's like you're opening your arms really,

Really wide and you're saying you're all welcome here.

All this stuff happening inside me,

I am bigger than it,

It will pass.

If you take a snapshot in this very moment,

The complex interplay of all these different parts and their voices and the emotions and the thoughts and the stories and the sensations,

What a complex interplay it is and get a snapshot right now.

If you were to take a snapshot similarly of what's happening inside you an hour from now,

Tomorrow,

Yesterday,

Ten minutes ago,

All of those snapshots would look different.

So you're holding all these moving and shifting parts.

Whatever it is they need to do,

You're just sort of saying to them,

Hey,

I see you.

You can do whatever you want.

You can say whatever you want here.

It's safe to do that.

You can just come as you are.

I will meet you here exactly as you are.

I'm not going to try to change you or make you go away.

I'm just here to show you my love,

My presence.

I'm listening.

I see you.

And those parts now inside you,

Your internal experience,

Emotions,

Thoughts,

Feelings,

All of it,

Sensations,

They might be excited that you're listening right now and they have your ear.

They may get a lot louder.

They may feel heard and get quiet and some other part pipes up.

Whatever it is,

It's okay.

It doesn't matter.

You're just tuning into your own personal,

Internal experience,

Whatever that is,

Whatever the snapshot right now.

It's like your wisest,

Deepest self is showing up with really,

Really wide,

Huge open arms to hold all of it.

There may be strong emotions happening now or thoughts ruminating and circling around.

There may be quiet.

There may be a cacophony.

There may be a voice or more voices telling you something this way or that.

It doesn't matter.

You are opening your arms so wide.

You're practicing that today,

Expanding your capacity to hold all of it,

To show it that all those parts,

You show them they're safe here.

It's like this inner refuge you're building with these open arms.

You're holding all of it and you're okay.

You're okay as you do that,

Right?

You're just here breathing.

That's all we're doing right now.

As this loving adult figure looking upon these parts that may be distressed or just wanting to speak or move or whatever,

You're noticing that you are bigger than all these things that you're separate from them,

That there's some space between you and these experiences.

And as you breathe,

You might imagine breathing out a sense of space,

Of spaciousness.

It's a spaciousness that's filled with love,

A kind of all-accepting,

All-nurturing,

All-loving energy in the spaciousness surrounding all of these parts of you that have lots to say.

And in this spaciousness,

These parts of you,

These internal experiences,

Whatever they are right now,

However they're changing or not,

They feel that spaciousness and that love and they just kind of melt into it a little bit.

They feel safe to show up as they are.

They know you're listening.

They know you can handle it.

That you're the wise,

Loving adult that can hold all of it.

You're not phased.

You're just giving them the love in the form of this spaciousness where they can kind of expand,

Relax,

Soften,

Loosen.

They can even run around if that's what they want to do.

They can just come up to you and scream in your ear if that's what they want to do.

It doesn't matter.

You're just holding all of it.

And as you do this,

All these internal experiences,

It's like they just realize they're safe here to be exactly who they are,

Showing up exactly as they are.

And then there may be new things arising in you now.

Maybe you're having thoughts about this practice even.

Or maybe your body needs to move and that's okay,

You can move it.

Shift,

Change positions,

Anything you need.

There may be some rumination or some worry or some anything that's happening.

Some new thing that may be some meta-level than what you started with and that's okay.

That's what we humans experience.

You're just holding all of it,

Including anything that's new arising in you.

You're holding all of it,

These big,

Wide,

Open arms.

You're letting them know that you can hold them all.

And every time you practice this,

You are building that skill,

Expanding your capacity to hold.

No matter what it is that arises and arrives within you.

No matter what.

There may be some inner critic that's telling you you're not doing it right or asking if you're doing it wrong or whatever.

Anything that arises.

Every time you practice,

You're building more and more capacity.

You're showing your brain,

Hey,

Look brain,

It's really not a big deal.

These are just emotions.

They're just sensations and feelings,

Thoughts,

Whatever.

But I,

As a loving adult,

My wisest,

Deepest self,

Who knows I am,

Bigger and stronger than all these emotions and feelings,

Experiences.

I'm showing myself.

I'm showing my brain there's nothing to be afraid of here.

There's nothing to resist or push against or hide or make go away or change.

As humans,

We want to do that,

I know.

That's okay.

But right here,

Right now,

In this practice,

You are just holding your arms wide open.

If what is arising feels unpleasant,

Lean into that,

Quote,

Unpleasant label and just feel it.

Be with it,

Exist.

Alongside it,

Notice it.

If there's resistance,

Notice that.

Just sit next to it with your arms wide open,

Just being this loving presence.

Allowing it to be just as it is.

And before we close this practice,

You might imagine yourself just speaking to all these parts of you,

All these internal experiences and saying to them,

You're okay.

I'm here.

I'm always here.

I'm going to do my best to turn toward you.

To listen.

To love you,

Even if I kind of don't want to.

I'm going to turn toward you and give you that compassionate,

Loving,

Spaciousness to be just as you are.

It's a skill I'm building.

I'm not going to be perfect at it.

I'm not going to always remember or do it.

As I want to,

It doesn't matter.

It's a skill I'm building and I'm here.

And I'm going to come back.

You don't have to worry.

You can be just as you are.

And you can remind yourself,

Your whole self,

I can be just as I am,

Right in this moment.

Even if it's not who or what I want to be right now.

It's okay.

I'm okay just as I am,

Right now.

If it feels good to you,

You can take in another nice,

Deep breath if that feels good.

And then tuning into your body as it is right now,

Right here.

In this moment,

Allowing it to move as it wants to.

As you begin to reorient yourself to the space where you are.

And come back to the space where you are.

And when you're ready,

You can open your eyes.

And thank yourself for practicing today.

Thank you for practicing with me today.

Every time you show up,

You are building this skill and expanding your capacity to hold.

Showing your brain,

It's all okay.

I'll see you next time.

Reviews

Beautiful and powerful meditation. Feels nice to be held. 💕