Being Happy In Any Circumstance

Many believe that they can't be happy until they have that one thing they want most. But how do you find happiness when that thing you have waited for and hoped for doesn't happen? This recording will explore how the barrage of unwanted thoughts that come through our minds can leave us feeling a bit down and frustrated. It will also explore what to do when those undesired thoughts come so that can find yourself being happy in any circumstance. a different understanding of how letting go of our attachments to the things we want will help us to find happiness in any circumstance.

Transcript

Well,

Hello.

My name is Joseph Anderson,

And this is entitled,

Happy in Any Circumstance.

If you're listening to this,

Then you may find yourself in a circumstance that you're not really that happy with.

There are things in each of our lives that we've wanted.

There are dreams that are unfulfilled,

And sometimes we feel like we have to have those dreams in order for us to be happy.

However,

Buddha himself said,

The root of suffering is attachment.

I believe it's okay to want the things that we want in our lives,

But when we attach to them and feel like we have to have them,

Or else we cannot be okay,

That is where the suffering comes in.

There are certain things in our life that we cannot change in a second.

There are certain decisions in our life that don't just require us,

They require a second party.

For myself,

For years,

I wanted to be married to the girl of my dreams.

And I had been taught for years through my upbringing,

In my faith,

That I had to be married to be happy.

And then one day I realized,

Through the help of a dear mentor,

That it was just the thought that I had to be married in order to be happy that was keeping me miserable.

What is the attachment that is keeping you miserable?

What is the thing that you feel like you have to have in your life?

Or you're just not going to be okay?

I want to ask you,

By wanting that thing for so long and holding on to that thing,

Has it helped you?

Has it served you?

Looking at my own circumstance,

It never served me to want so much to get married.

Funny enough,

It actually did the opposite.

It took away all the fun out of dating.

Every time I'd go out with somebody,

I would think,

Is this the one?

And if you've ever been in that circumstance,

Which I had been on a date with somebody once as well,

They looked at me with those eyes.

Actually it wasn't even a date.

It was just seeing them at an event.

And they looked at me with those type of eyes that said they really,

Really wanted me.

And you know what?

It really,

Really scared me.

Any time we want something so bad,

It's as if we have a bar of soap in our hand that we are squeezing as hard as we can.

And if you've ever held a bar of soap and squeezed it,

You know that it doesn't take very long for it to slide right out of your hand.

And that's usually what happens when we're attached to anything.

What if you could want what you want,

But also be okay with not having it?

Once I realized that I was fine without being married,

My life became so much lighter,

So much freer.

Attachment is almost a weight.

It adds so much to every experience of life and not for the better.

So what is the circumstance that you find yourself in in your life that you tell yourself,

I cannot be happy in this circumstance until I have blank?

You know,

I want to have a little bit of fun with you guys.

Even though you've struggled with whatever challenge that you find yourself in,

Even then you've had days that have been glorious and wonderful and joyful because you aren't thinking about the thing that brings you down.

Our minds are an interesting tool.

Whatever we tend to focus on,

Whatever we tend to look at,

Is what we see more of.

There are plenty of times that you have thoughts go through your mind.

We have thoughts going through our mind all day long.

If I see a pretty girl,

I'm going to have certain thoughts.

If I see something that reminds me of a scary experience in my life,

I might have certain thoughts.

However,

If I was talking to you and if behind me there was simply a white wall,

That thought would probably not cross your mind unless I brought it up.

However,

If behind me I had a picture of a clown,

You would probably have one of two reactions.

You would probably think,

Oh my goodness,

Why in the world does Joseph have a picture of a clown on his wall?

Or you might have another thought,

And that might be,

Oh my goodness,

I am so scared of clowns.

It's only the things that move us positively or negatively that we have some sort of charged emotion towards that really usually gets us to think about it.

So once again,

We have thoughts going through our head all day long,

And those thoughts generally are immediately followed by a feeling.

What I've come to learn is if I have a thought that there is no truth in,

I'm generally not going to have a good feeling afterwards,

Because I believe that God testifies of truth to each of us through peace.

But if I'm thinking about something that there's not truth in,

He can't testify of that peace.

He can't testify of that truth with peace.

And so plenty of times when we have a thought that we don't really like,

For example,

The thought,

Oh my goodness,

I'm never going to find somebody and get married.

It's not going to leave me with the best of feelings,

Because that thought is not true.

We get frustrated and we get upset,

Not understanding that we have been so beautifully made.

Your body is the most incredible thing you could imagine.

We just have to understand better how it works.

So when you have a thought like,

I'm never going to be happy until blank,

It will generally be accompanied by not a good feeling,

Because the truth is no matter what's going on in your life,

You can find happiness and joy.

I'll use an example that's coming to my mind,

And it's that of a woman really wanting to have children.

Every moment you think about the pain of not having children in your life,

You will feel a yucky feeling following it.

And that yucky feeling is a warning.

It's a warning to say essentially,

Stop thinking about this.

It's very similar if you put your hand on a hot stove.

It hurts really bad,

So that you take off your hand and don't do any more damage.

No amount of thinking about the pain that you're caused by not having children in your life is ever going to bring you joy or happiness.

But those moments when you stop thinking about it,

That's when you're back to the now.

That's when you're back to happiness.

So how is it that we can find happiness in any circumstance?

It's simply by stop thinking about the things that are making you miserable.

If there's something to do that can change your situation that you feel peace and guided and led about doing,

By all means do it.

But if there's nothing in your immediate presence that you can really take a guided action on,

Try just not thinking about the thing.

Go do something you love.

I want you to take a moment and just think about a baby or a young child that you really love and that brings you joy.

One of mine is my little nephew.

When I am spending time with him,

I love it.

When I'm thinking about the times that we spend together,

I love it.

It's quite challenging to think about the joyful times that I have with my nephew because they bring thoughts of happiness and joy.

El Peter Pan happens to be one of my favorite movies.

And what do they say in there?

All you have to do is think wonderful thoughts.

And maybe that might be a bit too much for you right now.

So maybe you simply just don't have to think about whatever things are causing you misery and sorrow and sadness.

Realizing that you're always one single thought away from being back in this present moment,

I would invite you to slow down and to pause and understand that you really can be happy in any circumstance.

It's the moments when we stop focusing on everything that is wrong about a situation and also focusing on everything that everyone's ever told us that leaves us feeling miserable.

No matter what your parents told you,

No matter what other people,

Your friends or teachers or even religious leaders or spiritual teachers have told you,

You don't have to do everything they say.

There is only one person that knows what's best for you.

For me,

That person is God.

For you,

That might be something else.

Most of our sadness and frustration comes by not following that guidance and by thinking so much about the things that are causing us misery.

As I shared before,

For years I struggled,

Being frustrated because I wasn't married to the girl of my dreams.

And then I started doing other things.

I stopped worrying about it so much.

And since that first,

Almost awakening,

Which happened nearly six years ago,

The awakening to that understanding that it was just the thought that I had to be married that was keeping me miserable.

When I'm not thinking that I have to be married to be happy,

I'm pretty happy.

And you too.

If you understand that it's simply the thought of whatever thing that you're attached to that's keeping you miserable.

But once again,

As you recognize that you have countless thoughts going through your head every day,

If you just let them go,

Let them go,

Let them go on their way.

You don't have to entertain the thoughts that come to you.

Especially when they leave you frustrated,

Upset.

If you guys have ever seen,

There's a particular ball or a sphere essentially.

And it's divided in two.

And the top half of that sphere are all the positive and wonderful and amazing feelings like peace,

Love,

Joy.

If a thought leaves you feeling those things,

By all means,

You can follow it.

But there's also a bottom half of that sphere where they're basically all the yucky feelings.

If you're feeling one of those when you have a thought,

That thought is not coming from your higher power.

That nagging voice in your head that leaves you feeling yucky is not the voice of God.

When you begin to understand,

Once again,

The simplest way to get back to the now and back to the happiness and even understand what kind of thought it is,

Is this thought making me feel happy?

If not,

Let it go.

Plenty of times we have thoughts enter our minds that we don't want to be there.

But we're surprised and upset and even frustrated why they keep coming.

They keep coming because after a while,

Thoughts that come through our head that we think over and over sometimes crystallize into habitual thought.

And then sometimes it just takes a little bit longer to go away.

But the quickest and simplest way is to get back to the now and back to happiness.

If the thoughts that are coming to you and that you're entertaining are leaving you feeling yucky,

Let them go.

And as you let those go,

You will be making space for the gorgeous,

Beautiful,

Wonderful and joyful thoughts.

And as you make more space in your life for those thoughts,

You will find yourself living a more inspired and guided and joyful and happy life.

Thank you for listening today.

Whatever you felt inspired to do as a result of listening to this recording,

I would invite you to go and do.