Deeper Inside (Poem)

This is a poem I wrote in the Northern Thai city of Chiang Mai, in 2013. I was coming to the end of a six-month journey I had been on, searching for answers to the vexing questions that remained with me after a painful breakup. I traveled to many Buddhist monasteries, I made some Vipassana retreats, I visited yoga ashrams, and I even went to an 'Anahata Mystery School' in Pai, trying to find answers.

Finally, this poem came to me at a Chiang Mai guesthouse and brought me some peace.

Transcript

So this is a poem that I wrote in Chiang Mai,

Thailand.

During a journey where I was traveling around Southeast Asia,

Visiting many different monasteries,

Retreat centers,

Mystery schools,

Trying to find the answers to solve my very intense pain at a breakup that I had experienced that year.

So this poem came to me in Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand,

Around six months into this kind of pilgrimage,

Spiritual journey,

I guess you could say.

It's called Deeper Inside.

Practicing presence in the depth of the night,

In the heat of the sticky afternoon,

Feeling the essence under fluorescent light of a mind softened by suffering and gloom.

Here I am stopped,

Laid bare on back aching springs,

With but 35 baht to my name,

Taking a break at last from this thing we call life,

Seeking solace from within the game.

Should I venture out amongst the noise and the haste of samsara in all its resplendent bloom?

Or should I stay here enclosed,

Enveloped by my green shroud,

In vain intent to keep karma at bay?

Six months have I wandered under scorching suns and flooding rains.

Six months have I pondered and meditated upon the innermost secrets of my soul's dark refrain.

And where has it led you,

Well may you inquire,

Closer to or further away?

Deeper inside must I go,

Sure afoot,

Strong in faith,

Shining my light on all that I see.

Deeper inside must I go,

Pure in heart,

Empty in mind,

Slowly chipping away at all remaining traces of me.

Thank you for listening and I would greatly appreciate to hear any of your comments or feedbacks.