Mindful Words

Words are such powerful tools. We use them everyday. In speech. In text. In thought. In almost every human interaction. Yet sometimes we forget just how much we take words for granted and how impactful they can be on others and ultimately shape a belief they have. This podcast is dedicated to everyone who's ever felt a little different. Anyone who's searched for that understanding and may not have received the kind of words they hoped for.

Transcript

The Genius Show I don't know if you've noticed,

But I love talking.

I love talking to people.

Skyline from that park.

I'm so happy that you like it too.

I love talking at people.

I went down to the shop and I ordered my mocha.

I love talking to myself.

We gotta get up,

We gotta do laundry,

Oh god.

We've got another batch of washing to do.

I grew up with a sibling who was 11 years older than me.

And at home,

Other than the times my cousins would stop by,

I didn't have many people to talk to.

Then of course,

When I made friends in high school,

There were the long,

Long,

Long phone conversations.

Laughter and analysing the littlest of things.

Now,

With the digital era,

There are so many ways we can talk to people.

The world has become a lot smaller.

For chatterboxes like me,

This is awesome.

It's also a great way to filter out the people you actually want to spend time with to the people that you don't.

Not that I'd do that.

Then it got me thinking.

With so many ways to communicate and so many options literally at our fingertips,

The more ways we have to communicate means the more ways we have to use words.

Words generally make up at least 20% of our communication.

I read a stat somewhere that 80% of our communication was actually body language,

So I'm just gonna stick with that.

But the thing is,

With words,

When you're having a conversation,

When you're actually speaking to someone,

Context is added,

Tone is added,

The room for misinterpretation is minimal.

But then again,

Why are there so many disagreements?

Arguments.

Emojis do help with text messages,

Tweets and Facebooking.

But I thought back to high school.

I didn't have a mobile phone until I was 16 and it was this huge brick which was embarrassing to take to school,

So I barely used it.

But words?

They're so powerful.

More than ever actually.

Especially now that we have the option to hide behind our words,

It's an option too many people take.

A lot of people hide behind their words or a computer screen or an electronic device.

They feel they can say what they want and be who they want.

They have the anonymity of the internet or the digital era supporting them.

In high school,

I remember in eighth grade,

I started to have an inkling about my sexuality.

Now,

Amidst the alter-serving,

The overprotective Sri Lankan Catholic mother,

And just being a teenage girl in school,

I had trouble understanding what this all meant.

It was too confusing.

One day,

I decided to tell a classmate in year eight that I may have had feelings for women.

I just wanted someone to talk to,

Someone who would understand,

Hopefully.

Her response has forever imprinted in my mind.

It went,

Ew,

Get away from me.

And the next day,

Oh,

By the way,

I told Rochelle about it too.

So,

From the narrative that I had in my mind about the fact that there was something wrong with me,

Coupled with the need for approval,

Hearing the words,

Ew,

Get away from me.

Probably didn't quite help.

That,

For me,

Was one of the first examples of just how impactful words can be,

Through speech and through text.

In the Sri Lankan culture,

Making comments on people's weight was seen as normal.

In fact,

It was natural as,

Hi,

How are you?

It would go like,

Ah,

You've gotten fat,

So will you have fat cheese?

Have you eaten Sri Lanka?

Of course,

Culturally,

This is accepted in some parts and in some dialogues.

But how appropriate is it in the context of how it makes someone feel?

There were times when I was growing up and my grandmother would say to Ami,

Ay,

Ay,

Ay,

Padma,

Look at her stomach.

Don't worry,

Amma,

She just had too much big M.

Okay,

Yeah,

I did have too much big M.

But when you're surrounded by words that tell you you're a certain way,

It's very easy for you to believe those words.

You know how in some parenting books,

You may read something that says,

Don't tell your kids a certain thing,

Or don't speak to your kids a certain way because they'll start believing it.

Nowadays,

When I chime into social media,

I hear about things like cyberbullying,

Young kids falling into depression,

Developing anxiety,

Or what's even worse,

Taking their own lives because they start to believe and be influenced by the words they hear around them and the words that are spoken to them.

I always believed I was the chubby kid.

It's a belief that's so ingrained in my thought patterns.

There is something that comes up almost daily for me that I have to address about it.

I remember when I lost over 20 kilos in body fat.

I was a size eight.

I was the healthiest and leanest I've ever been.

I still couldn't see the healthier me.

Even though I was the smallest dress size,

I still saw myself as the big girl,

As different,

As something was not quite right with me.

Why?

Because I believed the words I was hearing and I turned them into a story.

I've been blessed that I've had people and influencers to counter those negative words,

Thoughts and feelings,

And stories that I tend to tell myself and that I go through.

And they've been turned into positive words and experiences.

The mindful words that have been spoken to me drain out the negativity.

Some of us unfortunately don't have that luxury.

One of my favourite quotes from Buddha about speech is,

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care,

For people will hear them and be influenced by them,

For good or ill.

So,

The next time you find yourself using words to communicate something too critical,

Something that may hurt someone's feelings,

Cause them upset or stress,

The beauty of it all is that you can use words and actions to help rectify the situation.

Kind words go a long way.

Kind words cancel out unkind words.

That's the beauty of words.

You can use them to empower people,

Uplift them and make them feel joyous.

Or you can use them to implement someone and essentially make them ill.

The words to be most mindful about,

The dialogue that you need to watch most,

Is a conversation and words you use with yourself.

The words and belief that fill your mind and your life ultimately will be the words you feel and hear from others.

So please,

Use your words mindfully.

A conversation with yourself is a conversation with the universe.

Reviews

Another great episode! I'm going through the same kind of thing with my body right now. Logically, I know that I'm wearing the smallest size jeans I own (that I held onto, hoping to fit into again some day!), I can see myself in the mirror wearing these jeans... But, it still doesn't feel real. What I see in the mirror is different from what I see in my critical head.

Beautiful! So much to think about in this short message. So powerful!

Always love listening to Ginni

So true & so relevant!!

Enjoyed this, Thank you....♥️🕉☮🎄

Thanks! Again, your words makes me smiling

Your words were a joy today and appreciated!
🙏🥀❤️☮️

Much food for thought. I love her closing line.

A good listen. Well put together, interesting, happy, sad but positive. A good reminder!

Excellent short talk! And I find it appauling that our US President speaks and tweets such destructive, divisive, hurtful words almost everyday. It's hard to overcome his overpowering nonsense.

Nice. Kind words mean a lot. Thank you for publishing :)

I just love your refreshing way!
How you make an impact on our world 😍

ॐ Shanti
Powerful
Indeed a conversation with yourself is a conversation to the universe

So appropriate, so important and presented in an easy, enjoyable way

Awesome, so true 🌷

Beautiful, thank you! 🙏❤🌌