Welcome to Stoic Snippets,
The track that is short in time,
But not in depth.
I must die.
Must I die then lamenting?
I must be put in chains.
Must I also lament?
I must go into exile.
Does any man then hinder me from going with smiles and cheerfulness and contentment?
Epictetus is one of my favourite Stoics,
Because despite being a slave himself,
He was freer than many people today.
The victimhood mentality that runs rampant today was at direct odds with the victor mentality of Epictetus.
He was forever pondering on the lack of freedom people exercised and how they chose to enslave themselves no matter how well they were off.
His years in chains,
Living with the 1% of the time,
Allowed him to think long and hard about the true meaning of the word freedom.
He saw men bemoaning being down to their last million,
While he ate nothing for days and was tortured for fun.
He quickly realised that freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired,
But by controlling the desires.
As an aspirational man myself,
I have a hard time reminding myself of this.
I always think the act of trying is an admission that things could be better and we're not totally satisfied with where we are,
And I think that is hardwired into humans,
This desire to strive.
Would Epictetus have us all stop whatever we are doing and just be?
I don't think so.
He is simply pointing out that what we choose to desire has a profound effect on who we are,
How we feel,
And so we should choose carefully.
Our desires shape how we see the world and what we value paying attention to.
Neurologically,
We can change what gives us a dopamine hit by changing what we desire.
If we desire more money,
Then we are predisposed to feel good when money moves towards us or we move towards money.
However,
If instead of money I desire to be rich,
Then when I'm around others who are richer than me,
I will feel bad,
No matter how much money I have.
You see,
Similar desires vary different results.
So what do we do?
Well,
We limit the amount of desires we have and we define exactly what we want.
You see,
You can't have it all,
So it's worth thinking about what you are willing on giving up.
Peter Hitchenson sometimes calls this choosing your regrets.
Having many different desires will only make you anxious and it's more likely to lead to competing outcomes.
If I desire to eat a lot,
But I also desire to be in great shape,
You can see a problem occurring pretty quickly here.
And there's freedom in letting go of desires.
For one,
There's more cognitive space in your brain and secondly,
You'll realize how many of these desires that you have are simply habits or attachments that you've developed over the years.
These things don't serve you anymore,
But they stick around because they're routine.
Instead,
I want you to choose a desire that makes you better for reaching for it.
You don't even have to attain it.
Humans love to strive.
Don't lose that.
Just make sure whatever you are reaching for makes you someone you like,
Someone you are proud of.
And lastly,
Make sure that desire is quantifiable.
Again,
Your brain loves to move forward towards goals,
But when the goals are vague,
Your brain never gets a chance to win.
It never gets to stop desiring.
So by all means,
Have your desires.
Just choose them carefully.
If you enjoyed this,
Please check out my courses in Stoicism or consider coming on my retreat.
It'd be great to have you there in person.
See you next time.
