Welcome to Stoic Snippets,
The philosophy track that is short in length,
But not in depth.
A single example of extravagance or greed does a lot of harm.
An intimate who leads a pampered life gradually makes one soft and flabby.
A wealthy neighbor provokes cravings in one.
A companion with malicious nature tends to rub off some of his rust,
Even on someone of an innocent and open-hearted nature.
What then do you imagine the effect on a person's character is when the assault comes from the world at large?
In letter 7 of Seneca's letters,
He describes how easily we are influenced by the vices of others and reasons that being in a crowd only multiplies the problem.
Biggie Smalls thought that it was more money that meant more problems.
Seneca argued that more people caused more problems.
You can see his point.
We can all agree that we are social creatures and that our immediate company can color our views of what is right and wrong,
What is necessary and unnecessary,
What is appropriate and inappropriate.
There is a famous saying which is,
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Originally that was just a proverb,
But now we can see just how true it is.
In a book called Connected,
The author shows how having a friend as a smoker will increase the likelihood of you being a smoker by 61%.
If your friend is obese,
You have a 45% chance of being obese.
Pretty shocking,
Right?
But understandable,
We spend time with them,
We may take on the habits that they have.
The truly remarkable numbers happen next though.
If you have a friend who is not obese but has a friend that is obese,
Who you have never met,
You still increase your chances of being obese by 20%.
For smoking,
It's 29%.
But it gets even crazier.
If you have a friend of a friend of a friend,
So someone you have never met and is once removed from your social circle,
If they are obese or a smoker,
You still have a 10% increase in chance of being both of those things.
This is the cost of relationships.
So choose yours wisely.
Let's look at some of the other things that Seneca pointed out here.
He has this line that a simple example of extravagance or greed does a lot of harm and now we know that that is colloquially termed as lifestyle inflation or keeping up with the joneses and the research shows that it is a phenomenon called social comparison.
It's something born out of our proclivity to notice where we stand with others and try our hardest to fit in and beat the competition.
Meaning that we have a natural pull towards doing what others do regardless of how good it is for us.
I'm sure you've seen a mob mentality when it comes to watching a riot or protest or even a sports game where people act out of character and do things they would never dream of doing on their own.
In his letters Seneca talks at length about the mob activity of the time which was the gladiatorial games.
He explains that just because so many people accept it doesn't make it right and that we should use our rational thinking about what is going on to protest it.
The virtue of justice in full force here.
And this is his final point that our goal should never be to be loved by the masses because the masses are often wrong.
He writes,
Scorn the pleasure that comes from the majority approval.
The many speak highly of you but have you really any grounds for satisfaction with yourself if the kind of person you are can be understood by the many?
Instead Seneca urges us to focus on quality not quantity when it comes to our relationships.
He finishes by quoting Epicurus I'm writing this not for the eyes of many but for your eyes alone.
For each of us is an audience enough for another.
Ignore the crowds focus on the individuals.
I'm writing this not for the eyes of the many but for yours alone.
For each of us is an audience enough for the other.
Ignore the crowds focus on the individuals.
If you enjoyed this please check out my courses on Stoicism in particular Seven Days of Stoic Strength.
If you like this you're definitely going to like that.
I'll see you in there.
