Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation taught by Pema Chodron among others.
The practice connects us by reminding us that feelings are universal,
What we feel others feel.
There are four steps to the meditation.
It begins with a flash of openness.
Traditionally,
This might be evoked with the sound of a gong,
But you can call to mind any moment of openness and surprise and wonder such as seeing a shooting star.
The second step is to call to mind someone who is suffering,
To whom you wish to offer compassion.
The third step is to breathe in their pain,
Which you might picture as dark or dense or hot,
And breathe out relief,
Cool light,
Refreshing relief.
And the fourth step is to universalize,
So you wish compassion for everyone suffering in that same way.
The practice is counterintuitive in that our reflex is often to push away pain and discomfort.
For those of us who are empathetic,
We might feel we already take in too much of the world's pain.
But the idea is not to absorb the pain,
But to let the alchemy of your heart turn the darkness of the pain into light,
Into spaciousness and freedom.
To let yourself be an open channel,
No stickiness.
Because if we hold on to someone else's pain to fuel our own,
That's pity.
Tonglen is about compassion.
It's about radically trusting the other's journey,
Honoring their path.
We breathe in their pain and breathe out soothing relief as an act of trust.
We practice as we will today on the meditation pillow in order to have access to this practice in our daily lives on the spot.
Perhaps when you hear a painful news story,
You're even in the midst of an argument,
You can offer compassion to yourself and all involved in that situation and breathe out relief.
Tonglen can also be offered for pleasant things,
Simple things.
When you put on a sweater in a chilly room and feel the comfort,
You can say to yourself,
May others too feel this comfort.
For today's practice,
If you have not done Tonglen before,
You might consider starting small,
Not choosing an overwhelming situation.
Pema Children says it can be as simple as having compassion for a caged bird,
Inhaling the bird's confinement and on the exhale opening the cage door and wishing the bird freedom,
Then universalizing it to offer relief to everyone who feels confined.
So let's begin by sitting comfortably in a position where your heart feels open,
Your spine upright,
Where you can relax and settle in for a few minutes.
You begin by simply breathing out any tensions from your day.
Nice,
Big inhalations and long,
Slow exhalations.
Allowing the chime to invite a sense of wonder,
Awe,
Openness.
Calling to mind any moment when you may have felt such astonishment,
A momentary instant of wonder and then letting go of the memory and just allowing the sensation to resonate in your body,
Savoring openness and curiosity.
Now calling to mind a person or animal to whom you wish to offer compassion,
Seeing their face,
Picturing them here with you.
If the expression you see is painful,
Try to see through the veil of their pain to their essence.
Their pain is not who they are.
Let yourself picture their true face,
Perhaps a more neutral expression,
Even a small smile and inwardly say their name.
As you inhale,
Breathe in whatever is causing them to suffer,
Picturing it visually however it may appear to you.
The energy may be hot or dense,
It may have a color or a texture.
Just fluidly breathing that in without holding onto it and exhaling light,
Spaciousness and healing energy to this person.
Breathing in their suffering,
Letting the alchemy of your heart transform it into light and exhaling freedom and spaciousness.
Letting yourself be an open channel,
No stickiness.
With compassion,
Breathing in their pain,
Marinating and transforming it in your heart.
And as you breathe out,
Radiating soothing gentle light beams from your heart to theirs,
Touching them,
Reassuring them,
Comforting them.
Not trying to fix them or change them,
Just offering them comfort,
Healing energy,
Spaciousness,
Light and freedom from their pain.
And now extending your meditation to others who suffer in the same way,
With the same feelings or afflictions.
Gently and compassionately breathing in the suffering they are going through,
Breathing out the light of freedom and peace.
And picturing their relief and allowing it to touch your own heart.
And if this practice is challenging or difficult for you,
Extending your compassion to all those who also find it challenging or difficult.
Expanding circle of your goodwill to all who need healing.
Letting your heart touch the world with its grace.
Knowing that in the days to come,
You can practice this meditation formally or on the spot whenever pain arises,
Your own or someone else's.
Feeling the contraction of that pain by offering healing,
Loving energy.
And now letting go of tollen and relaxing into open meditation,
Simply riding the waves of your breath.
And now letting go of tollen and relaxing into open meditation,
Simply riding the waves of your breath.
And now letting go of tollen and relaxing into open meditation,
Simply riding the waves of your breath.
And closing with a little meta prayer.
May this person to whom I've offered my compassion be safe and free and protected from inner and outer harm.
May they be happy and contented.
May they be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible.
May they experience ease of well-being.
And may all people who suffer in a similar way also be safe and free and protected from inner and outer harm.
May they too be happy and contented,
Healthy and whole.
May they experience ease of well-being.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be at peace.
May all beings be free.
