Saying Yes

Even though this month's theme centers on the idea of saying "no" (which we are touching on in a variety of ways), I wanted to give some attention to the idea of "yes".

As I explained in the introductory talk in this recording, there are many ways to explore this idea. In particular, I want to emphasize that this is much more about moving toward something you want - you could think of it as honoring being drawn to something, even if you're not sure why.

Another thing I mention in the intro is a phrase my husband and I have been using for a couple of years when we're deciding what we want to move toward. We say "back nine" to remind ourselves that we are past the midway point of our lives (on the figurative back nine of an 18-hole golf course) and that we may want to be more inclined to say yes to what we want in life.

As always, I'd love to hear what you're feeling inclined to say yes to these days.

Transcript

Hey there everybody this is Kristen from Teaching Balance and I am here with you at this week's mindfulness meditation practice and we are in the month of new year new no which of course is a month all about boundary setting giving ourselves breaks cutting ourselves some slack sort of um I guess you could also say like reevaluating some things taking stock I think there's something about the turning of the year or a new calendar year which I kind of can't even believe that it's a new calendar year but then I digress and so it just feels very appropriate for us to to reflect on some of these things this month now as I was thinking about what I was interested in exploring for this week's invitation the thing that I was thinking about was instead of the word no I really just started thinking about the word yes and it's not like there's anything wrong with the word no we need to be able to say no to be able in order to have the spaciousness to say yes to what we want and I know you know that but the point that I want to make is focusing more on consideration of what we do want and what we want to say yes to instead of perhaps just ruminating about the things in our lives that bother us and that we want to change so it's much it's a little bit more about dreaming planning reflecting on what really you know fills you up all of those sorts of things and then saying yes to them or just to one and allowing ourselves to move toward that that's really kind of the the vibe that I'm interested in exploring now I could leave it there but I really as I was thinking about it was reminded of some books that I've read somewhat recently over the past couple years that are about to be honest like getting older because I'm getting older and as is everyone but the point being that there's something to be said for whether you want to call it midlife whether you want to call it my favorite phrase is the wisdom years I like that one a lot the idea is that we are perhaps you know on the other phrase I like a lot is on the back nine referencing like the front nine in the back nine of a golf course you know you're on the back nine now so think about that and the point that I want to make about all of it is there is somewhat of a of a whether it's intentional or just sort of comes upon you there's a quality to this phase of life where there is a reckoning I guess you could say and there is a taking stock and there is this sense of like yeah you're on the back nine and so let's let's reevaluate what's most important and that sort of thing now I could go on and on about this I think many of us no matter how old you are experience that through the shock of the pandemic and that really kind of shook so many of us up and allowed us to reevaluate but as time goes on we tend to go back into our default mode and just sort of go back into our patterns and unless something you know very life-changing occurs that sort of shakes us awake we don't always get that opportunity to really reflect on what is most important and come all full circle to where we began here what you want to say yes to so that's something that I'd love to invite you to think about and it doesn't have to be the big deal stuff you know it doesn't have to be I don't know I can't even think of examples but like it doesn't have to be a big deal it can just be something like you know I want to say yes to maybe this is a big deal like putting less pressure on myself that's been my thing that I've been working on or you know taking myself less seriously and that sort of thing so it can just be saying yes to a shift and then determining what then needs to be done to be able to move toward it and it can also be something very concrete like you know moving somewhere or changing jobs or you know any of the other possible life big life things that you can do as well so that's my invitation to you this week to reflect on what you would like to say yes to and invite in more of in your life that you think would really be to your highest good I guess is a way you can think about it all right so that's something to reflect on and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if during our meditation you find yourself kind of wandering into the exploration of that and I think that that's okay remember even though we are trying to ground ourselves in the present moment and anchor ourselves to you know the breath and the body etc you know when the thoughts come sometimes just listening to me at this you know introduction plants a seed that you might find yourself reflecting on during the sit and of course even more likely afterwards so I would just notice it and you know don't beat yourself up about it I got you there but the point being that you could either decide like hey I'm gonna just keep thinking about this for you know a little bit longer until I'm ready to let it go you can do that too or you can just come back like any other thoughts that you find yourself drawn to all right ten minutes let's do this you know the drill some deep breaths finding that posture that exemplifies your inherent dignity I love that explanation or that phrasing last week I did a little bit more of a deeper dive on sounds so I think for today I'd like to talk a little bit more about the breath so if you're not feeling that you're more than welcome to just tune me out for a little I often find when I listen to recordings of other meditation teachers I often notice that I've tuned them out and just kind of doing my own thing but yet it's nice to have it there to circle back to so there's a little food for thought for you when we talk about this idea of using the breath as an anchor noticing the breath what we're really talking about is noticing the observable body sensations associated with the breath so it might be the rising and falling of your chest or abdomen it might be the sensation of the air moving through your nose or mouth I often find myself noticing that there's a slight rising quality of my whole body on the inhale and then a slight descending on the exhale almost like gentle waves on the sea so if that's interesting to you you can notice yourself riding the waves of the breath of the inhale and the exhale thankfully our breathing is automatic we don't have to consciously make the effort and pay attention to each inhale and each exhale all day long and sometimes when we take these opportunities to rest our attention on the breath it actually starts to get a little weird because of our observation but eventually it will settle back into that natural pattern of breathing for you right now in some meditation traditions there's an intentional sound making with the breath describing the sound of the breath almost as being like the ocean believe it's called ujjayi breath so you if you're interested in trying it you slightly constrict the throat and while I'm not familiar with why this is the preferred technique of breathing in those traditions my observation is that that audible noise is something you can use as your anchor it's a little bit more noticeable than just the breath the air the chest and abdomen expansion so if that's interesting to you I would encourage you to play with it and there's no wrong way to do it you're just generating that rather quiet sound to me it actually sounds kind of like if you hold a shell up to your ear like a big conch shell where you hear the air moving in it people say it sounds like the ocean and if you don't feel like doing that noticing where the mind is and if it's wandered just gently bringing it back if it's still here resting in the present moment just continuing to do so for the minute and a half or so we have left sit together in silence until we hear that bell that's our 10 minutes in case you forgot which I think is unlikely the invitation this week is to reflect on what you would like to say yes to and like I said in a myriad of ways at the beginning I can take all sorts of forms so just follow that down whatever path feels like it most resonates with you so as always thank you so much for taking this time for yourself and for allowing me to accompany you on this journey I will see you next week take care bye