Tonglen: Transforming Suffering Into Compassion

This meditation, inspired by the Tibetan practice of Tonglen, trains you to open directly to suffering, your own and that of all beings, by linking awareness to the natural flow of the breath. As you breathe in, you receive pain or distress with openness and courage, letting it touch your heart without resistance. With each out-breath, you release this suffering into a vast, compassionate space, offering relief and care.

Through this practice, you learn to hold your own pain with kindness and extend compassion to others, awakening a deep sense of connection. Your heart becomes more spacious and tender, transforming suffering into compassion and healing.

Transcript

The Tibetan practice of tonglen cultivates the all-embracing heart of compassion.

Please sit in a way that allows you to be relaxed and alert.

Take some moments to let go of any habitual tension and allow your body and mind to settle.

The traditional practice of tonglen begins with a flash of remembrance,

Directly recognizing the awakened heart and mind.

With your eyes open,

Take a brief moment to sense the immensity of space and the natural openness and emptiness of awareness.

Now bring your attention to the natural rhythm of the breath.

And if you'd like,

You can either gently close the eyes or let them be slightly open,

Relaxed gaze.

As the breath flows in,

Allow your cells to receive this life energy.

With each in-breath,

Relax open in total receptivity,

Like a balloon gently expanding with air.

No resistance.

Totally available to be touched by the sensations of the breath.

With the out-breath,

Experience the actuality of letting go,

Of releasing into the space that surrounds you.

Sense as you breathe out that your total body and awareness could flow outward with the breath and mingle with the vastness of space.

Breathing out,

Relaxing and surrendering.

Continuing to meditate on the essence of receiving with the in-breath,

Being touched with the in-breath,

And letting go,

Surrendering with the out-breath.

Now take a few moments to sense if there's a difficulty in your life,

A place of suffering that's asking for your attention.

It might be an experience of hurt or insecurity in a close relationship.

It might be anxiety about work,

Maybe fear about physical illness,

Grief about a loss in your life.

Let yourself sense the circumstances in a close-up way,

Going right to the place that's most distressing to you.

If it involves another person,

You might see that person's face or hear the words that were spoken that are upsetting.

And in a similar way,

If it's a situation at work,

To let yourself go right to that place in the movie in your mind about it that causes distress.

Whatever is going on,

Sense what it is you're most afraid of,

Most upset by.

And if there's nothing causing suffering for you personally,

You might in the same way reflect on the pain or suffering of someone close to you,

A friend or family member,

A pet,

Another living being.

Sensing life through that being's eyes,

The hurt or disappointment,

What's frightening.

Let yourself feel the suffering in an immediate,

Vivid,

Close-in way.

Feel it as if it's your own.

So whether it's your own suffering or another's,

In these moments,

Sense the realness of it,

Of the loss or the hurt,

The fear.

And as you breathe in,

Allow this pain to come fully into your body and heart.

Open to the intensity of the sensations,

Whatever they are.

See if with the in-breath you can receive the suffering with no resistance,

See if you can allow it to touch you,

To touch your depths.

For some people,

It can help to gently place your hand on your heart as you practice this,

Offering a kind support to feeling fully what's difficult to feel.

With each in-breath opening to receive and be touched by the suffering that's here.

With the exhale,

You might visualize and sense the great sky of awareness.

And let go,

Let go,

Releasing the pain into this open space.

Breathing in,

Letting yourself be touched by the suffering.

And breathing out and releasing it into vast,

Open space.

As you breathe in,

Letting yourself feel the suffering directly in your heart.

And then with the out-breath,

A surrendering,

As if the current of the heart could release itself into an ocean of loving presence.

Breathing in and feeling what's here.

With courage.

And breathing out as if offering something sacred to the divine,

Offer this expression of life into an enlarged belonging.

Continue to breathe in and be touched by the realness of suffering.

And to breathe out,

Offering the pain into the boundlessness and tenderness of awareness.

You might find that in offering the suffering into awareness,

A prayer or expression of care comes naturally for you.

For instance,

You might mentally whisper,

May you be free of suffering.

Or I care about the suffering.

I wish you could be happy and peaceful.

As you practice tonglen,

You might find that at first you don't actually feel connected to the suffering of hurt,

Of fear or grief.

It might feel abstract,

Removed.

If this is the case,

For a few minutes,

You might let your primary focus be with the in-breath and the taking in of pain.

Pay special attention to the sensations that arise in your body,

Particularly in the throat,

The chest,

The belly.

Then as you begin to experience the suffering in an embodied way,

Resume a balanced practice of taking in the suffering and sending out care,

Releasing into open awareness.

If,

On the other hand,

You feel as if the suffering is too much,

Overwhelming,

Emphasize the breathing out,

The letting go of suffering into openness,

Into love,

Into safety.

It can help if the experience feels overwhelming to begin again by listening to sounds or opening your eyes.

You might bring to mind a person,

A spiritual figure,

A place in nature that conveys a sense of safety and loving presence.

With your hand at your chest,

Sense this loving presence streaming through your hand and into your heart.

And with the out-breath,

Sense how this presence is like an ocean that has room for all the waves of difficult sensations and emotions.

Breathing in and feeling what's difficult.

And with the outflow,

Letting go into loving presence.

With time,

You'll discover an artful balancing of breathing in,

Opening directly to whatever waves are arising,

And breathing out,

Surrendering the waves of experience into the ocean of awareness.

It's helpful as you practice to be aware without any judgment of how you're relating to suffering.

At times,

You may feel a courageous willingness to open to the intensity and rawness of pain.

And at other times,

You might feel fearful and your heart may be defended or numb.

If you feel fearful or resistant,

Then let this be the place of Tonglen practice.

Breathe in and let yourself feel the fear or the numbness or the resistance directly.

Breathe out forgiveness,

Offering the resistance into the spaciousness of awareness.

Whether you're feeling willing or resistant,

Continue practicing with the breath.

Taking in the raw sensations of experience,

Letting your heart be touched by what's here.

And then letting go,

Offering what's here into the vastness of awareness,

Offering your prayer of care.

After practicing for yourself or another individual,

We continue Tonglen by bringing to mind all the other beings in the world who experience the same kind of suffering that you've been reflecting on.

Sense how,

While stories may differ,

Our actual experience of physical pain and emotional distress is the same.

If you're meditating on the pain of feeling inadequate or rejected,

In this moment,

Millions of other people are feeling the same pain.

Sensing the realness of this suffering in others,

In many others in this world,

Begin to breathe in on behalf of all who suffer in this way.

Breathe in the insecurity,

The grief,

The loneliness,

The hurt that all these beings are feeling.

Allowing yourself to experience the fullness of this pain in your heart.

As you breathe out,

Release this enormity of suffering into boundless space.

Let it be held in boundless awareness.

With the out-breath,

You might offer whatever prayer resonates in alleviating suffering.

Continue breathing in and out,

Opening to the universal experience of this suffering and letting go into spaciousness with prayer.

As your heart opens to the enormity of suffering,

You become that openness.

By offering your tenderness,

Your awareness becomes suffused with compassion.

As you breathe in suffering and breathe out care,

You can begin to sense your heart as a transformer of sorrows.

As a way of ending the tonglen practice,

You might let go of all ideas of self,

Of other,

Of suffering,

Of love and simply inhabit this boundless space of presence.

Let whatever arises be touched with the blessing of natural compassion.

Reviews

I reached inwards and touched my own suffering, and was able to see it more clearly. Then extending out the compassion and understanding to those who had been affected.
I need to work on letting the suffering go.
Thankyou Tara, it's Tonglen described in a completely new way for me and is powerful.

Thank you very much for sharing this practice. 🙏🙏🙏

Many thanks, Tara. Over the years, your
meditations have had a special, positive impact on my days and ways. 🙏💗

A different experience than I’ve had in tingles and profoundly supportive.

I loved this. My first time doing this meditation and already it feels like a weight has been lifted. Thank you! 🙏

That was incredibly heavy and difficult, but powerful. I felt disconnected at first. And then overwhelmed with pain and grief, but was able to get through it and let go, and also feel connected to the millions of others suffering alone with the same pain. Beautiful guidance. I will come back to this.

I’m beautiful humble greatful actor singer amen 🙏

So powerful. Incredibly intense. Coping tools built-in.

This describes right where I am today. To embrace my suffering, and to transform it into love for others allowing my higher power to take it was what I needed today. Thank you. I will practice this more regularly.

What a beautiful and powerful meditation ❤️ Thank you for this practice🙏

Really healthy practise for whatever reason thank you

Tara’s meditation and wisdom have flowed through my life periodically and always profoundly when they arrive 💫🙏.

beautiful pacing, imagery, concepts and space for inner peace.

Allways wonderful to practice with you Tara! Thank you so much for your warm, soft and loving presence. 🙏🏼💞🙏🏼

That’s one of the most powerful meditations I’ve had in a very long time - thank you so so so much

Always so easy to get in to meditation with Tara.💜

Amazing track.

Touching the suffering helped relieve the pain and release acceptance of it. Thx. 🙏

This is a beautiful meditation 💜 Tara guides me to the self compassion I didn't know I had/needed.

I released a lot. Grateful to be on the present 💝