LegGO Of My EGgO (Season 2)

The ego hides behind the “I” and “me” in assumptions not facts - about our identity. The ego creates the illusion that our opinions and beliefs make you who we are. In a fragile state, the ego works overtime to ‘defend us.’ The challenge of becoming aware of what your personal ego looks like is difficult because our culture doesn’t reward us looking inward and practicing self-compassion and achieving authentic self-knowledge. A healthy ego is less defensive and comfortable with imperfection.

Transcript

The sky fell down and shattered without a sound A moth to the flame and desert to the rain I held on and it was wrong,

Clear as day like blood on snow I can't fix what I don't know Welcome to The Stuck Stops Here.

Hello!

I'm Tammy and you are what's your name?

LW Nolai!

Thank you for reminding me.

Today's episode,

Lego of my Eggo or Lego of my Ego.

You choose how you want to pronounce it.

So for those of you who are the dinosaur generation like me,

You'll remember that commercial,

Lego of my Eggo.

So today is about ego.

But before we get into ego,

LW has something she wants to read.

It's a fantastic little tidbit.

Yes,

So Tammy I notice that things come into my life at the time when I need them,

Which is so amazing.

Thank you universe.

Thank you universe!

This morning I opened up my email and I saw an email from a site called Daily Om.

Love that site.

And this little talk is about soul evolution.

And the reason why I love this is because it talks about how we have to do the work.

We have to actively seek to work through our issues.

So I want to start by reading this little thing before we get into the ego.

Go!

From what we are born,

Our souls may feel heavy because they are carrying the weight of all we have lived,

Loved,

And learned in our past incarnations.

It is only when we actively seek to work through our issues that we can lighten the load and our souls can evolve.

Divesting ourselves of what no longer serves us,

Such as unwarranted fear,

The inability to feel empathy,

Or self-limiting behaviors,

Are just some of the many challenges we may face in this lifetime.

While some issues we face are easier to deal with because they are the final remains of residue from a past life,

Other issues offer greater challenges because we are meant to work through them throughout this lifetime.

Often we expect ourselves to recover quickly from difficult or painful circumstances.

When we do not or cannot,

We may feel emotionally inept or hopeless.

The evolution of the soul,

However,

Is an ongoing process that can take many lifetimes.

It is a matter of accepting that even when we do our best,

There are going to be the situations,

People,

And outcomes that we cannot control.

It is also important to remember that your experiences now may be setting the groundwork for future healing,

Whether in this lifetime or the next one.

The more you release in each time,

The more you grow and the more your soul will evolve.

Although it is not always possible to work through all of our issues in a single lifetime,

It is important that we confront what we are called to face in this life and do the work we need to do.

It is also important to remember that the most effective way to let your soul grow is to be an active participant in life,

Be present in each moment,

And let your soul do this work for you.

And your soul will do this work for you.

This was Soul Evolution by Madison Taylor on Daily Ohm.

And we're going to add that into the show notes because this is crucial.

I read this this morning and I said yes,

Yes,

Yes.

You said aha.

I said aha.

Be present.

Be in the moment.

Let your soul do the work.

So that's what we're doing here at the Stuck Stops here.

So buckle up and let's go for Ligo,

My ego.

Take it away,

Tammy.

So another wacky Wednesday wisdom or wacky wisdom for Wednesday.

That's a lot of W's.

I know.

I'm getting confused.

So tying right into that beautifully written piece there that you read.

The English word ego is Latin for the word I.

The literal translation is I.

So I think about my old cluster fucky ways when I was ruled by my ego and my thoughts,

My motives,

My intentions,

My emotions,

My behaviors was dictated and infused with I.

I was consciously thinking about what I want,

What I was doing.

Who I am,

What other people think about me and how things are going and constantly trying to measure and balance all that.

Isn't that is that a narcissistic behavior right there?

Great question.

It's narcissistic if you are self-absorbed to the point where you truly and genuinely don't care about anybody else.

You have no empathy.

The codependent side of,

Shall we say,

Ego in my opinion is this self,

You know,

Chronic self-absorption and chronic self-soothing.

You're controlling other people by trying to make them happy and people please.

So in a way you are trying to control other people and feel better about yourself.

Just the methods are different.

Narcissists want to tear you down,

Make you feel awful the way they feel inside deep down.

Codependents just want to control,

Which was me,

And people please because if they're having some sort of impact then their value is now raised.

Still ego-based,

Just two different methods.

And I really hope I explained that well.

I think you did.

Good,

Good.

If not,

I'm sure I'll get an email.

So everything,

Ego,

I,

Self-absorbed,

Chronic self-absorption and everything.

I'm reacting to you.

I don't care where you're coming from.

I don't care what the situation is.

I'm just going to react.

I'm not going to think about anything.

I'm not going to be present.

And that was a dirty little habit I had for 40-something years.

So examples of motives,

Emotions,

And behaviors that don't involve ego is when you are engrossed in a good book.

Working on an engaging task and enjoying the process.

Having a comfortable conversation without trying to prove something,

Without trying to be right.

You're just listening.

You're engaged actively,

Not defensively.

And whatever it is,

Music,

Art,

Yoga,

Even your job if you love your job.

It's a flow experience.

Your I and your ego is now in the background.

You are not responding consciously.

You are enjoying something unconsciously.

You're not thinking about,

Well,

Who am I?

What do I want?

What's going on?

Who's reacting to me?

Who am I reacting to?

And with a toxic focus on self-interest.

You're not doing that when your ego is in the background.

That's a very relaxed way to be.

It is.

It's kind of like the way I feel when we do this podcast.

In a flow,

You know,

And then an hour and a half,

Two hours go by,

And I'm like,

Where did the time go?

And what did we just talk about?

It's true.

I have no memory of doing this.

So I don't even remember that I said this.

We have to listen back to it to know what we said.

So I actually have been attaching several articles that I drew a lot of this from because I thought it was fantastic.

Really,

Really great stuff.

So I hope you all read it.

So ego develops early childhood.

And there are some instincts that develop during childhood.

There's several.

I'm only going to talk about four of them.

Security instinct,

Which is having everything you need for physical survival.

Self-esteem instinct.

To avoid feeling or appearing less than.

Avoid feeling not good enough.

Social instinct.

To feel highly valued and secure in your relationship with others.

And ambition instinct.

To experience greater satisfaction in one or more of the previously listed instincts.

Social security or self-esteem.

That's part of all under the ambition instinct umbrella.

There's more,

But that's in the article.

So now you're saying are these instincts that we're born with?

They develop.

They develop in early childhood.

So what the ego does is identify and deal with threats to the satisfaction of these instinctual drives.

It is the ego that views life as a competition for what appears to be limited resources.

So all experiences of fear and resentment are related to perceived threats to one or more of these instincts.

So they're not real threats.

They're not real threats.

Buddhist scripture calls it the monkey mind.

And yes,

I was ruled by monkey chatter for years.

And this little voice likes to bounce around inside your head weighing in on everything.

Passing judgment,

Forming judgment,

Opinions and beliefs that are easily used as truth.

So it's like those automatic negative thoughts.

Yes,

Exactly.

The ego begins forming in infancy and it becomes the basis of your self-image and personality.

The ego is the voice of the subconscious mind and its primary job is to keep you safe.

So the ego's methods are now obsolete in a world where there are no wild animals or woolly mammoths or Tyrannosaurus Rexes coming to eat you.

That's not your concern anymore.

So the ego develops to protect you from your reality.

It creates an identity for you to cope with any confusion,

Disconnection or loss of love that you experience.

And it strengthens an identity,

Which is usually a false identity,

To ensure that you can still receive whatever love is available.

So connecting that to how I was raised by,

You know,

What happened by being raised by toxic parents who were filled with their own rage and shame.

The ego that developed for me was an addiction to having to be seen in a positive light all the time,

Proving my self-worth all the time.

Wow,

That's exhausting.

Oh,

Yeah.

Now I'm still sleeping.

I'm still tired.

So who are you proving yourself to?

Everyone?

Myself and everyone.

You know,

It's you have the same relationship with the outside world that you do with yourself.

So if I'm walking around constantly feeling not good enough and I feel the need to prove that to myself,

Then I will view all these external experiences the same way.

So there's no big picture view.

There is no presence living in the moment with that.

So with emotional intelligence,

The eye,

The ego,

The self is actually our greatest resource.

But if you are a victim of emotional abuse,

Like me,

Can be your darkest enemy.

So an example,

And these are very simple examples of ego based thoughts.

I am not good at math.

I am really smart.

I feel really important when other people rely on me.

Nobody likes me.

I'm not popular.

I am superior to you.

That was really stupid of me.

Those are some examples of assumptions that your ego makes.

So let me ask you something.

So when kids who grow up,

Let's say not in a toxic situation,

Maybe they grow up in a healthy family environment.

They still,

As kids,

Still have that proving like they want to prove to their friends.

They want to prove to their parents maybe just because I think that's part of growing up,

Where you feel like you want to achieve and you want to prove that you're good at something.

Look at me.

I'm good at baseball or whatever.

But then at some point in their lives,

They'll reach a point where they'll say,

Hey,

I don't care what people think anymore.

But isn't that kind of a healthy thing in a way too,

Like for kids?

Absolutely.

Because I know for me,

Like at my age now,

I finally don't care what people think anymore.

It's late,

But it happened.

But I think that,

You know,

Even as when I was a kid,

Even trying to prove myself was part of the growing up process.

So maybe had I not grown up in such a codependent situation,

Maybe I would have discovered sooner that I didn't care what people thought.

And I feel like I had to prove myself so much.

And I might be oversimplifying,

But challenges and quote unquote failures are not debilitating if you grow up in a non-toxic environment.

They are seen for what they are.

Motivation to just do a little better,

Change the direction maybe your life is going.

You know,

Off the top of my head,

My youngest is really,

Really good at math and can't write.

Doesn't affect her self-esteem.

She doesn't lose sleep over it.

Yeah,

She panics and she's got to write a marketing paper and she doesn't on a statistics exam.

Just two different reactions.

But she can go into the marketing,

You know,

Attack,

You know,

You know,

Start that marketing project without severe anxiety.

For me,

Everything was catastrophic.

Everything was a failure.

Everything was the end of the world.

Or if I got an A,

Finally I feel good three seconds or later,

That feeling is gone.

Right,

It didn't last.

But for you also,

Failure was devastating.

Exactly.

You know how entrepreneurs talk about failure and they say failure is an option.

Like failure is important and it's not a bad word.

It's like good to fail because that means you're trying.

But in your perspective,

Failure was devastating.

Yeah,

I think ambition,

True authentic ambition is seeing a goal and enjoying the process that it takes to get there and having patience for the path no matter how crooked it is.

I love that.

That's the truth.

Fear of failing is a different kind of motivation.

So my motivations were never to grasp being good at something.

It was always outcome based.

I was always driven by the fear of failure or the fear of not succeeding.

So the process was held to me.

You didn't get to enjoy the process.

Never.

Which is the funnest part.

Supposed to be if you don't have a huge ego.

Right.

Wow.

So you've got some great questions.

L.

W.

,

You're making my brain work.

Thank you.

And let's take a short break so people can absorb a lot of the stuff we just talked about.

We will be right back.

Have I lost my way?

I found my place.

Wasting time,

Saving face.

I woke up the day I died.

Nowhere to run,

Nowhere to hide.

Have I lost my way?

Or found my place?

The ego creates the illusion that our opinions and beliefs make us who we are,

Which leads to insecurity and low self-worth.

So if you are in a fragile state like I was for decades,

The ego works over time to defend us.

And it's difficult to find to define because it's not one specific thing.

It's made up of many different beliefs,

Not necessarily true ones,

That a person acquires over their life.

And the beliefs can be very diverse and often contradictory.

So to simplify something here,

Are you saying that the ego is necessarily bad?

No.

No.

It's against the spectrum.

It should motivate you,

But it shouldn't debilitate you.

But we are raised because of toxic parenting.

We are treated like we are tools and a means to an end.

And the main reason these toxic parents engage in hurtful behaviors,

Dismissive behaviors,

Because it makes them feel more powerful and more confident.

So that's their ego at work.

Their ego.

That's ego-based parenting.

Conscious parenting is rooted in mindfulness and living in the present.

Having self-knowledge is a key to conscious parenting.

The parents who are conscious know how to identify their own unmet needs and not take it out on their children.

Some easier ways to spot the ego is by the trail of emotional reactions that it leaves behind.

Anger at a loved one,

The need to be right.

Insecurity in certain situations,

Overwhelming feelings of jealousy that you can't explain.

The driving need to impress people and so on.

And this directly ties to the false beliefs that threaten the ego.

So the ego is a master storyteller.

It has thousands and thousands of emotional events and experiences that you can't even consciously remember.

This story serves to protect you,

But it ties you to your past experiences.

A healthy ego is not defensive,

Comfortable with imperfection,

Not very reactive,

Highly observant,

And has no need for obvious displays of winning.

That was not me.

It is now,

But it wasn't.

So there are many different ways ego-based parenting devalues and dismisses the child.

It could be subtle,

You know,

Ignoring,

Pushing away,

Or an all-out malicious verbal assault.

So this kind of damage occurs in cycles and patterns that are hard to spot and fix without intense self-work and honesty.

Children who have grown up with an emotionally abusive or neglectful parent grow up to become adults who struggle to attach normally and demonstrate and love,

Give love or receive it.

So narcissistic parents.

This is a quote from Shannon Thomas.

She wrote the book Healing from Hidden Abuse.

She says that narcissistic parents create tension among all family members,

And it can be very covert tension,

But it is a chronic and consistent level.

And that was me.

When you have a narcissistic mother and an enabling father,

Stepfather,

And a biological dad that,

You know,

Abandons you or decides that he wants you in his life when it's convenient,

That's covert and painful.

Would you say that's sort of a generational thing for kind of every generation that came before ours?

So way back,

You know,

That children should be seen and not heard,

Spare the rod,

Spoil the child.

You know,

Think about how,

You know,

How much war and chaos.

What does that mean?

Don't take your kid fishing?

Yeah,

Exactly.

If only were that simple.

I mean,

These are statements that are,

That have no basis in today's world.

So we are raised in a world,

As my own kids are,

That's very different from,

You know,

When I was 10,

The world was very different than when my daughters were 10.

Absolutely.

And it's attitudes that were different.

You know,

You remember the 50s,

Like the Donna Reed and the man comes home from work and she gets his pipe and slippers and newspaper and children are kept in the background.

Leave it to Beaver.

Yeah,

I mean,

It's definitely,

Times have changed drastically.

They're very different now than when we were kids.

Ah,

Lucy and Desi slept in separate beds.

That's right.

I was like,

I want to know how Ricky was born.

And you're not supposed to know.

So,

Stork.

I'm really dating myself.

I can hear these 25 year olds,

Who's Lucy?

Who's Desi?

Right.

You know,

I remember as a kid,

Like my brothers and I,

We love to stay up late and watch TV when we were little.

And sometimes we would come downstairs,

We would tiptoe down the stairs and we'd look into the kitchen and we'd go,

Mom?

And she'd say,

Oh,

No,

No,

Go back upstairs.

Your father's going to be so angry with you if he sees that you're out of bed.

Meantime,

One day later,

I found out that he was in the basement just sleeping.

I was like,

Wait a minute,

What?

I was terrified.

Well,

That was the idea.

Yeah,

He didn't care,

But,

You know,

He was made out to be the bad guy.

Good cop,

Bad cop.

Isn't that funny?

Whatever it takes to control the environment,

That's what they're going to do.

Right.

And that's,

But I think our understanding of,

You know,

Awareness and things like daily only,

They didn't exist 30,

40,

50 years ago,

Or it just wasn't very well known.

And there's a lot that I think Buddhism and,

You know,

Eastern philosophy has to teach us.

And I think that there's a way to incorporate that,

These,

You know,

Buddhist principles,

Shall we say,

Into our lives without singing Kumbaya.

Or we could sing Kumbaya.

I don't know what your,

What's your problem with Kumbaya?

I like Kumbaya.

And nobody's going to listen.

You know,

You got to get people to listen.

So,

You know,

You throw an F bomb.

Well,

Do you think our children's generation are going to be better off than we were?

It's a great question.

That's a broad question.

Growing up in entirely different times with entirely different things.

There's definitely more accepting of being different.

Thank God,

For sure.

You know,

Living authentically,

Self-awareness,

There's definitely no,

There's definitely appears to be less fear as to what people think.

Yeah.

Which I think from a freedom of self-expression and living a life that's true to you,

I think that's fantastic.

Yeah,

I think psychologically we're in a better place.

I really hope so.

Yeah.

And I like the way my kids are growing up.

I mean,

They have self-esteem and they're comfortable with who they are and what they're doing.

And I like that.

So tying into,

You know,

What they're talking about today.

So I have a quote from Dr.

Shefali Tassberry,

I'm sure I'm saying it wrong,

But the last name is T-S-A-B-U-R-Y.

So Dr.

Shefali Tassberry.

Tassberry.

I hope I said it right.

So she's a world renowned clinical psychologist.

She got a doctorate from Columbia University.

Moron.

She specializes in the integration of.

.

.

That's a joke.

Yes,

I'm sorry.

Yes,

That's a joke.

I'm jealous.

I always wanted to go to Ivy League.

She's going to call you.

She's like,

First you misspelled my name and then you call me a moron.

That's a joke.

She specializes in the integration of Eastern philosophy and Western psychology,

Which is why I'm quoting her because I love it.

Because she's brilliant.

Here's what she says.

When it comes to raising vibrant,

Happy,

Healthy daughters,

The best thing a mother can do is to be her most empowered,

Authentic self.

When women live enslaved by their culture,

Their spouse,

Their job,

Their fears,

Whatever it may be,

They teach their daughters that they are not enough and that to find joy,

They will have to be dependent on other people and things in their lives.

So directly tying to.

.

.

A great quote.

Isn't that fantastic?

Yes.

So directly tying to combining Eastern philosophy and Western psychology,

Years ago women were held back.

Big thick glass ceiling.

Second class citizens.

Second class citizens.

Was it 100 years ago that we got the right to vote?

1920 I think it is.

So there are a lot of women who grew up oppressed and passed that frustration of being oppressed on to their daughters.

As almost as if the fear of their daughters not being oppressed would be a threat.

So I think that's where the genius from Columbia is right.

So she also says,

When you parent,

It is crucial you realize you are not raising a mini me,

But a spirit throbbing with its own signature.

For this reason,

It's important to separate who you are,

Who each of your children is.

Separate who you are from who each of your children is.

Children are not ours to possess or own in any way.

We know this in the depths of our soul.

And we tailor our raising of them to their needs rather molding them to fit our needs.

I love that.

And that's where an ego develops.

Yes.

When you're being forced to fulfill the unmet needs of your parents,

That's where the ego now comes into play.

Absolutely.

And starts to rule your life.

The endless fights I had with my mother over what I was wearing because she wanted me to be a mini her.

She wanted me to dress the way she dressed,

Which was like a model walking the runway in Paris.

And I didn't want to dress like that.

I needed to be my own person.

And I fought for that for years.

The one thing which I and that's.

I mean,

I was in the same boat.

I had different methods.

Yeah,

But I can relate.

Like Lizzie with her mother showing up with a shirt.

I think you should change your shirt.

Here I am.

Prove it to you.

That's crazy.

Right.

And was it best for Yoki to go get her mother cigarettes at two in the morning?

Was that Gee,

This will help my kid grow up to be authentic.

I'll send her the store to get cigarettes.

Made her say I'll tell you.

But what a terrible situation.

So part of becoming aware of what your personal ego looks like is very difficult because our culture,

Even though I think it's changing,

Doesn't reward us for directing our attention inward and practicing self-compassion and achieving authentic self-knowledge.

So let's I want to tie that into advertising.

OK,

So here cue in this inspirational symphonic music.

Set yourself free.

Be who you are.

Know the roads you're on.

And then you see Matthew McConaughey in a Lincoln Navigator.

Ice fishing.

Right.

So when you are.

Ego,

When you got a big,

Large ego,

You're like,

Oh,

That'll help my ego.

I'm going to go ice fishing and get myself an agitigator.

And what do you know?

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.

So but I think advertising is pretty clever on playing into,

You know,

It's all about psychology.

Absolutely.

Yeah,

I think I actually think actually changed their mission.

Be all you can be.

And subscribe to the daily home website.

There you go.

That's right.

So be all you.

Then not quite as exciting,

But way better for you.

Right.

I love daily home.

So.

Ego work is for you.

All right.

If and I'm about to list everything I felt for decades.

You feel.

Emotionally empty,

Emotionally,

Feel stuck,

Stuck.

Life isn't joyful.

Life isn't joyful.

You're tired of black and white thinking.

I was very tired of black and white thinking.

No color in your life.

You find yourself in unfulfilling or toxic relationships.

Wow.

Unfulfilling or toxic relationships.

Probably pretty common.

Connecting with other people is difficult or there's something missing and you can't put your finger on it.

Yes.

You your beliefs are rigid and you now want to grow.

And you're ready to heal.

So I was all of those things for a long time.

It was you know,

It took me too long.

I wish I was as smart as Lizzie.

You know,

She's a 28.

But but it's never too late.

It's never too late.

Sometimes your world has to collapse in order to reach a new plateau of learning and growth.

So my total collapse happened in 2014.

And since then,

Over the past few years,

I try to have less ego based thoughts.

For example,

I pay attention to what I'm doing and the focus is more relaxing and not as obsessive.

Because I'm more content with the process and not attached to the outcome.

That's a big difference for me.

I don't rush through activities just to check off that done box.

You know,

I used to have these lists and and vigilant and rigorous about finishing them all the time.

You may are because I was going to be really happy once they were all done and checked off.

Yeah.

But what happens once you finish them?

Then you're a new list.

Yeah.

New list.

Keep going.

It's like like the the heroine on a post-it note.

Yes.

Heroin on a post-it note.

Or the hamster on the wheel.

Oh,

That's what I was going to say is nonstop running around that damn wheel.

Right.

Hungry city rat looking for food.

So and no matter what people say or do,

I don't really pass judgment or react.

Regardless of what they're doing or saying,

They're coming from their own place.

And now I know if people are,

You know,

Highly egocentric and highly self-absorbed,

To get involved in that chaos is a waste of my time.

That's that's a messy web that they're going to have to figure it out or wallow in it by themselves.

I am not participating.

Right.

And what would you win by being?

I have nothing.

So I just listen if I if they're interested in engaging further beyond their own tiny little world.

Great.

If not,

I just listen and observe and be really glad I'm not there anymore.

It's great when you get to that point in your life when you can observe.

Like when you like the process.

Yeah.

I like learning.

I like evolving.

I like being.

More content and aware than I was yesterday.

That's me to me.

Yeah.

That's why we get along.

Yes.

And I am not afraid of new experiences because they challenge my an outdated thought process.

Change the you know,

It challenges the way I see the world.

And that's always healthy.

Living in this tiny little cage that maybe you built,

Maybe your parents helped you build it.

That's not going to do anything.

And we need to always be growing and learning and saying no to unreasonable requests that are self sacrificing is important.

Making decisions that balance compassion with self protection.

Rough example.

I'm a couple of years ago,

My aunt needed help moving.

It was on a Friday afternoon.

No.

Did I want to help my mom move on three to five on a Friday afternoon after a long week of work?

But I was happy to help her out.

That's that's not.

Say that's not self sacrificing.

That's being.

So what's an example of something somebody asked you to do that you didn't want to do?

So my mom used my mother's example.

She wants me to text her essay like text every day.

But what I'm doing,

Why I'm doing it,

Who I'm doing it with every day.

Well,

That's what she would like.

Did she say she wants to be like an essay?

No.

But the implications are details.

It's a covert.

It's a covert need of hers.

That's controlling.

Yeah.

I don't do that anymore.

I did for years.

And,

You know,

Every couple of days,

I got to text her and tell her what's going on.

And,

You know,

What a burden.

Huge.

I don't live your life with that.

And sometimes she won't talk to me for a month.

You know,

So.

But you know what you're dealing with there.

You know,

We're coming from.

You don't.

But that would be different now for you because you don't take it personally anymore.

You don't say,

Oh,

She doesn't talk to me because I suck.

She doesn't know me because she sucks.

Texting an essay like detail in my day is self-sacrificing.

I don't want to do that.

I'm not hurting somebody deliberately.

I'm protecting myself.

Absolutely.

And you have to protect yourself.

If somebody is asking you to do something out there that you don't feel like is right for you or you don't want to do,

It's OK to say no.

And oh,

It's a beautiful word.

No,

No,

No.

It's OK.

Don't feel like you have to say yes to everything.

You don't have to be a yes woman or a yes man.

You can say no.

Exactly.

And you'll develop more self-respect that way as well.

If it's a thought.

Based out of fear,

Worry,

Guilt,

Shame,

It's the ego talking,

Not your authentic self.

If it makes you feel bad,

Pressured,

Burdened,

It's ego talking.

If it feels good,

Comfortable,

Relaxed,

Not doesn't cause you tension.

It's authentic based,

Not ego based.

So you have to listen to your self.

You have to listen to your gut and see if it's what kind of feeling that that request is giving you.

I can't tell you how many times I attached to being right.

Proving my worth,

People pleasing.

To it was the visa addiction to external.

I wanted a certain reaction to make me feel better from the outside world.

And I based every decision on that.

And.

I always thought there was no more to learn.

And that's very arrogant way to be.

Now,

I like being humble.

I like being open to all ideas.

And.

I'm more confident because when you're confident,

Not arrogant.

If I'm wrong,

I'm wrong.

If I'm late,

I'm late.

If I'm I.

You know,

My kitchen's messy,

My kitchen's messy.

But now you see the world with a sense of wonder and amazement and awe rather than,

You know,

This dark place where you're constantly running on a hamster wheel trying to get the accolades,

The approval and all the things you think you need to get.

It's a much better place to be.

When you are confident,

You are.

You are in a state of inner peace.

That really that's basically in a nutshell.

Yes.

So I'm hoping that.

Now that you understand ego or a little bit of the basics,

Because it's a word that gets tossed around a lot.

So.

If you think about doing things that.

Make you feel good and relaxed and content.

Rather than obligated.

Think about if your ego is talking or if it's the real you talking.

That's important.

And I'm hoping the articles that I have listed at the notes help you.

I encourage you to read them,

Including the one from daily home.

Right.

Remember,

It is only when we actively seek to work through our issues that we can lighten the load and our souls can evolve.

A men chew on that.

And we will be speaking with you again next week where we have a special guest and we wish you a wonderful day.

Misses.

Bye.

Running from the shade you throw that mountain.

It's time to go.

Blaze that trail.

Saw that sign.

I got to be much better.

My place.

Am I wasting time saving face?

Clear as day like blood on snow.

I can't fix what I don't know.

I lost my way.

I found my place.

Wasting time.

Saving face.

I woke up the day I died.

No.

Reviews

So much in this. Thank you.

Relaxing, powerful, practical!

Excellent I love you ladies

💗✨

Fabulous podcast, I never was very egocentric but I’ve moved towards freeing myself and I can identify with a lot of things discussed here. Thank you for sharing! 😊

Thank you for the podcast! You mentioned notes with articles. Are those somewhere I can access? I thought it was very informative about the how codependency and the ego tie in together. 🙏🏻

Thanx for the reminders!
🙏♥️😇

I love Daily Om ! I printed one off and carried it to my last therapy session 10 days ago. I should probably carry one each time lol.

There were so many topics in this episode that spoke to me. Most importantly as someone who is trying to overcome being severely codependent and learning to say no. This has definitely been a process but I’m making progress.

Last Thursday and Friday I had two separate incidents around childcare for my great grand son that threw me into a fit of rage for a very short time one day and the other was pure hell. I could not let it go. I continually played story and assumption. I was freaking miserable for a bit. I know it was all about control and I can’t seem to not regress at times and I hate that! I did have him all day Sunday and we had a great day. It’s just all the drama that surrounds who gets to keep him without the other grandparent hogging time. I know it’s only a temporary setback and we will work on this in therapy this week. My desire is to not be effected or react when things don’t go as I had expected even though I was told something differently. God help does it ever end and will I feel and act like rational people do!!! Whatever that is!!

Thank you ladies for sharing your hearts with us. Namaste,