Welcome to this body and mind training reminder.
This is a reminder of mindful listening using the four stage model.
Use this practice before you go into any conversation,
But particularly any conversation that may be emotionally charged or really important to you.
You can practice mindful listening at any time,
So it's also helpful to listen to this at the beginning of the day as a reminder for what you need to do in every conversation that you have in the following hours.
Mindful listening starts with us really setting the intention to just listen.
And if we're really interested in listening,
This may mean getting rid of distractions,
Phones,
Laptops,
Or being in an environment where we can really give a high quality of attention.
If listening is important and you're somewhere where you're very distracted,
It may be helpful to delay the conversation for another time.
Having set the intention really bring your attention to just listening.
Attending to the voice,
The words,
Perhaps the posture and the facial expressions of the person you're communicating with.
Allowing yourself to really give this high quality deep attention to the person you're listening to.
It's natural that when we're listening to somebody,
Our brain wants to make sense of this information,
And it does this by making it relevant to us.
So notice if you lose contact with just listening because the mind starts wandering,
Perhaps thinking about how this relates to you,
Or maybe noticing that you're starting to think about what the person is talking about rather than just listening.
You might be reacting to what they're saying,
And there may be some strong emotions in the body if this is a challenging conversation.
In mindful listening,
We open to this,
We notice this,
We allow it to be there,
But we maintain this strong intention to just listen.
Focusing on listening,
Noticing how your mind and brain begins to react or respond to what you're hearing,
And then committing,
Just listen,
Stay with the person,
Just listen.
Sometimes we might notice that there's an eagerness to share our point of view or our opinion.
We may notice changes in the body,
A movement forwards,
Leaning in,
Perhaps even noticing the mouth,
The formation of words on the lips.
When you see this arising,
Become aware of it.
Notice.
Put the brakes on.
Not now.
Wait for my turn.
Pause.
Continue listening.
Wait for the person to stop talking.
And even then,
Pause.
Noticing all the ways that we get pulled away from just listening.
Really committing to giving that person high quality attention without the need to fix,
To influence,
To give our opinion.
Deep listening.
Full attention.
The most precious and priceless gift you can give another human being.
Finishing this reminder session with three breaths.
And as you take those breaths,
Setting your intention in the next conversation to use it as a chance to train mindful listening.
