Hi,
Thank you for being here and for taking this time for yourself.
My name is Susan Guttridge and I'm an EMDR trained counselor in the beautiful province of British Columbia.
This practice is about staying steady,
Grounded,
Even when the people around you aren't.
When someone else is emotionally dysregulated,
Say perhaps when you're having a conversation with them or maybe even a disagreement,
It can be easy to feel pulled off balance.
We might react in ways we don't like or later feel foolish,
Raw,
Even ashamed.
In those moments,
Blame can feel tempting.
We might find ourselves thinking things like,
It's their fault,
They made me lose my cool.
It could be true that being around certain people might bring up a lot of emotion for you,
But here's the thing,
When we blame,
We give away our power.
When we blame,
It places our steadiness,
Our ability to feel calm in someone else's hands and that,
Your calm,
Your truth,
Your heart,
Those belong to you.
So I prepared this meditation to help you call that power back,
To hold steady in yourself,
And to practice equanimity.
I'll start by sharing just a bit more about that concept and then guide you through a practice,
Just in case you're feeling destabilized right now.
Equanimity refers to that steady,
Balanced state of being calm and composed,
Even in the middle of challenges and even when the energy around you is stormy.
It's the quality of keeping your center,
Of holding on to your truth and your values,
No matter what the energy is swirling around in the room with you.
It doesn't mean you ignore your feelings or that you pretend everything is fine.
Quite the contrary,
Actually.
It's about being present to what is unfolding as it unfolds,
Choosing how you want to respond rather than being pulled into a reaction.
When you practice equanimity,
You stay true to yourself and from that place,
Compassion and clarity naturally flow.
Alright,
Take a moment to get comfortable.
Shift your body if you need.
If you're sitting,
Just notice the support of the chair beneath you.
Or if you're lying down,
Just letting your weight be held fully.
Let your shoulders soften,
Your jaw loosen,
Your brow smooth.
If it feels good for you,
Give your neck the gentlest stretch.
Just enough to invite in a bit more ease.
Bring your awareness to your breath.
Noticing the air at your nostrils as you inhale in.
And the warmth on your lips as you exhale out.
With each inhale,
Imagine breathing in steadiness and balance.
And with each exhale,
Let your body sink a little deeper into this one moment.
Now bring your attention to the space around your heart.
Using your best imagination,
Picture a beautiful white light beginning to glow there.
It represents your kindness,
Your truth,
Your love.
It represents your power,
Gentle yet strong.
And with each breath in,
This light grows warmer,
Brighter,
Steadier.
And with each breath out,
This beautiful glowing light around your heart expands through your chest,
Your shoulders,
Your arms,
Flowing into your torso,
Your hips,
Your legs,
Until it reaches your fingertips and your toes,
Wrapping you in a glow.
This light is your center,
Calm,
Strong,
Unshakable.
Now,
If it's okay,
Bring to mind someone in your life who feels safe to you.
Perhaps a person you love deeply,
Someone who sees you,
Who values you,
And with whom you can fully be yourself.
Picture them clearly,
Their smile,
Their warmth,
The feeling of being in their presence.
If visualization is hard for you,
You could look at a photo of them.
And just allow this beautiful white light of yours to grow brighter,
Fueled by the love you feel for them and the love they reflect back,
Just letting that glow kindle.
And as you rest here,
Ask yourself,
What do I value about this calm,
Grounded way of being?
What feels good about responding with kindness,
About staying rooted in myself?
Maybe the sense of harmony or just the quiet satisfaction of being true to who you are.
Whatever your answer,
Let it settle into your heart.
And now,
With that beautiful white light steady within you,
Bring to mind someone whose presence can sometimes unsettle you.
Maybe it's a person who argues unfairly,
Who pokes for a reaction,
Or whose emotions spill over just because they're struggling and it leaves you feeling a little off-center.
Just notice with curiosity what shifts in your body as you picture this person.
Do you notice any muscles tighten?
Is there a shift in your breathing?
Or do you notice perhaps a physiological urge to pull away?
Whatever is stirring up in your body,
Just notice without judgment.
And now,
If it's okay,
Returning your awareness to that beautiful white light originating around your heart.
Glowing steadily.
Notice its glow.
Feel it steady in your heart,
Radiating through your whole body.
Soft as it may be,
It's an unbreakable shield around you,
Protecting you whole.
Holding you,
Helping you anchor in your truth.
Notice any thoughts that might be stirring up for you.
If your mind wants to say,
They make me feel this way,
Please know that's a common response.
We don't like to have our foundations shaken.
And yet,
Each time we hand our responsibility for our emotions to someone else,
We hand away a little bit of our power.
So with each breath,
Call your power back to yourself.
Breathing in strength,
Kindness,
And calm.
Exhaling,
Releasing the urge to react,
The urge to blame.
This is how we practice equanimity.
The steadiness of being grounded and rooted in your values,
No matter the storm around you.
Not repressing emotions.
Not rising up into the storm,
And also not being flattened by it.
It means you choose to remain true to yourself,
To respond,
Not react.
To protect your peace and your energy.
To honor your needs by setting a boundary where a boundary might be needed.
To know when moving towards safety may be necessary.
And just checking in again with yourself,
Perhaps asking,
What do I value about being the grounded force in the midst of a storm,
Of remaining true to myself?
As we start to near the end of our practice today,
Picture that beautiful white light glowing around your heart one more time.
As you inhale in,
And exhale out.
Letting that glow shift from your heart to expand all throughout your body.
Strong,
Steady,
Anchor into it.
Taking another deep breath in.
Inhaling strength,
Love,
Kindness,
Calm.
Exhaling out,
Releasing tension,
Blame,
Heaviness.
And just bringing your awareness back to the room you are in.
Perhaps the connection of your feet on the floor,
Or the way your body is supported if you're laying down.
Connected to your strength,
Anchored in equanimity.
Thank you for being here,
And please keep shining your light in the world.
Thank you.
