Holding Our Grief As A Whole

I have been griefing lately over the passing of my mother, but I understand that it is not just my grief happening at the moment. I live in California and the fires are burning our homes and forrests. so We are holding grief for more than just our lost and loved ones. We are holding grief as a whole.

Transcript

So I was feeling like I needed to talk about grief because it's not just when someone dies,

It's also when something dies.

And in California,

I just drove through so much smoke and ash to get to my niece's wedding near Sacramento.

And it doesn't matter where you are.

I'm in Ventura,

The smoke is coming out towards the ocean.

You know,

The air quality here is also bad.

Not like it is in Northern California.

But so there's so many things besides personal grief that I think we are grieving as a whole.

And but I thought yeah,

It's kind of a bummer thing to talk about,

You know,

When you're,

You know,

For enlightened meditation.

But since I'm here calling to action,

My life purpose continues to be to call light leaders to awaken and to support individuals who are being called to become conduits for spirit.

That means a vessel for spirit to flow through for light to flow through things like that.

So I did my go to thing I went to my sacred rebel cards by Alana Fairchild and pulled one.

And this is when I pulled a bunch of times.

Okay,

It's called Defend to the End the Worthwhile.

And believe me in this last month,

I was checking in with myself,

Do I continue to do the work I'm doing?

Do I just retire?

Do I,

You know,

And what I keep hearing loud and clear is now is my time.

Now is the time to do the work.

Now is the time to be that light leader.

And so I pulled this card,

Defend to the End the Worthwhile.

And before we do this meditation this morning,

I want to read to you what this says because,

You know,

The infinite source of all never really stops guiding you.

So here's what it says.

It's a little lengthy,

Bear with me.

When this gets put on Insight Time or this reading may or may not be on the meditation,

Not sure yet.

Okay.

Defend to the End the Worthwhile.

Beneath the illusions,

Pretty as they may seem,

You know what is real.

Beneath the lies,

Sweet though they may sound,

You know what is worthwhile.

I want you guys to really listen to this and ask yourself some questions.

All that is genuinely and truly essential for the heart to throb with life is worthwhile.

Anything that dulls it or suffocates its vibrant aliveness must be questioned,

Challenged,

And more than likely cast aside.

For the heart,

The heart is our key to living an authentic life.

Now,

Alana Fairchild uses the phrase sacred warrior.

I am choosing not to use that because while I came in as a spiritual warrior and quester,

I have learned that that is still,

That idea is still promoting that there's something against me or us.

So I'm changing that phrase as I do this reading.

You are a light leader,

A defender of the heart.

You have cried genuine tears of your own grief and also the grief of the world.

You have raged at injustice and oppression in your own life and in the world.

I'm raising my hand.

You have felt the need to protect the presence of love for while,

Whilst it is exceptionally powerful,

It can too easily be smothered under lies and fear.

The light leader must not heed the dangerous voices that say,

Oh stop being so sensitive.

Raising my hand again.

That was my mom's voice.

Stop making such a big deal of things.

My mother said that all the time.

Love is the biggest deal there is.

What else is worth being so sensitive about?

The light leader is vigilant about the presence of love.

That the presence of love is not chipped away by fear,

Criticism,

Doubt,

Or untruths.

Even if others find the unflinching honesty of your feelings difficult to handle,

And I know there's many of you out there that speak your truth,

I am so grateful for you.

Even if those feelings are expressed with gentleness and compassion,

The light leader honors the task of being more faithful to love than anything else.

This includes the fear of loss.

Actually it includes the fear of anything at all.

Being vigilant with what is meaningful and what is truthful,

Even in the smallest and seemingly most insignificant ways,

Strengthens the sacred warrior and prevents darkness from gaining a stronghold from the inside.

The darkness will be intelligent and sneaky.

It will tell you that it doesn't matter.

That this is one time you can forget what you promised,

That you were just one person,

And that you can't make a difference anyway.

Anybody have those voices?

I know I have.

The light leader finds joy and humor in life to prevent the seriousness of the task from stifling the heart that just wants to live and be free.

That joy brings strength to the light leader and an expanded relaxed awareness that can sense the presence of fear,

Whether it is masked as anger or hate or doubt,

And immediately respond to it with fierce compassion.

Fierce compassion.

So that is Defend to the End the Worthwhile.

The reason why I wanted to read that is because it talks specifically about grief.

Not only our own personal grief,

But the grief that we feel for the world.

Personally that has been intense for me for the,

Gosh I want to say really all my life,

But especially the last five,

Ten years,

Just feeling the grief of the world and then feeling a need to process it for everyone or for myself.

Oh my gosh.

So with that said I'm going to do a meditation and we'll see what happens.

Okay so I want to ground you by breathing into your heart,

Breathing into the love that you are as a light leader,

Breathing in,

And exhaling and opening that heart that may be holding oh so much,

And breathing in that heart center,

Feeling the love resounding,

Rebounding within you,

And surrounding you.

And this is that divine spark that you are,

That divine light that you are.

It resides within your heart,

Not your mind.

So feel it for a moment.

And as you expand your heart and the love that you are,

I want you to begin to breathe that love within your home,

Feeling that love moving through boundaries,

Feeling that love which is a vibration moving beyond the town you live in,

The county,

And because I'm American we're just going to heal the United States today.

So breathing that love so that it encompasses every single state in this union,

From the tippy top to the very tippy bottom,

Sending the love and light that you are to every human being in this country,

Feeling that love unite,

Sending that love to every environmental situation that's happening,

Whether it's the fires in California or the pending hurricanes or the the fires in California or the pending hurricanes or the pending hurricanes or strange snow or rain,

Sending that love and light that you are right now.

And because if you're listening to this,

I know that you are already a light leader,

I'm going to ask you to activate the light that you are,

And we're going to work from the macrocosm back to the microcosm which is us individually.

So activating that light that you are as we've just blanketed the entire country with love,

I know we can do this,

I'm going to ask you to gather in so it can be processed through us as light,

The grief,

The grief that is blanketing the country,

Whether it's because someone lost someone with COVID,

Whether it's because someone lost their home because of a flood or a hurricane or a fire,

Whether it's because we're grieving the state of the union,

Whether it's because we're grieving the state of our business or economy,

Just begin as a light leader,

We are filters.

So pull that grief,

Don't have to do it so you're overwhelmed,

Just pull it towards you so it can process through the love that you've surrounded yourself with,

Through the love that you've grounded yourself with,

Pull that grief.

Oh,

You might even want to make a sound,

It helps,

Just pull that grief.

Now allow it to process through you and I'm just doing using my hands like this,

You guys know how to use your energy system with your hands,

Do this,

Pull it down and push it out through your heart so it's moving through that filter of love and light that you are purifying,

Clarifying and clearing.

Oh,

There we go.

Ah,

And then allow that grief,

Any tendrils of it,

To then just go back to the place where it began,

Back to the place before time.

And then as we breathe in now into the heart,

More love,

More light,

Because as the grief moves through us,

And this is important for your daily experience,

As you feel grief,

As I feel grief,

Allow it to move through you.

Don't shut it off because it's not timely to have a basket case cry in the middle of Trader Joe's,

Just do it and allow it to move through you because we are not only grieving our individual life,

We are grieving the world,

The state of affairs.

So pulling yourself back into that love,

Clarifying and moving all the grief that we've just brought in back to the nothingness,

Back to the essential omega,

Back to the alpha and omega,

Back to the oneness,

Back to the energy system that is the source of all,

And allowing your vibration to move back into that radiance of light and love.

Breathing in love,

Breathing out love,

Breathing in love,

Breathing out love.

One more time,

Breathing in love,

Breathing out love.

Thank you for participating with me today.

And so it is,

Namaste.