Seeing Through The Inner Critic

In this podcast the happy buddha shows you what the inner critic is but also how to free yourself from its tyranny. The language the happy buddha uses is simple, direct and includes execises for you to do in everyday life when the inner critic is active.

Transcript

Hello,

Before I begin I just want to say a little something guys that when I do these podcasts I don't have a script so you might hear me sort of oming and ahing and what's happening is in the moment I'm thinking of a better way to express something.

Because I don't want to read from the script because I find it confining it didn't lead to sort of being spontaneous.

Yeah,

Or it may have drawbacks too so um yeah please take that into account when listening to these podcasts if you would.

So the inner critic.

Bit of a devil really isn't it?

For some of us anyway.

It's tricky.

It's tricky.

And I see the inner critic I see people with a strong inner critic almost every day in my work and it's painful to see and I used to have a strong inner critic myself I know what it's like.

So I'm just going to talk around inner critic then I'm going to give you some practical things to do because for me if it's not practical if it's just lots of information then it's not so helpful or rather it's more helpful if there's something practical as well.

The information can give you a new perspective on the problem and then the practical exercises can give you a way to resolve the problem.

So first of all there isn't an inner critic.

We talk about it.

It's just language.

It's useful.

But there isn't a little inner critic inside the head maybe in about two inches high a minute to you.

It doesn't exist in that way.

It's just a pattern of thoughts.

That's what the inner critic is.

Just a pattern of thoughts.

It's like a program in your computer.

You press something and that program appears.

And then when it's ready a new programmer presses another button and another program comes.

The problem of the inner critic appears when there's a stimulus.

And that stimulus may even be silence.

It doesn't matter so much what the stimulus is.

It's just an appearance.

It's just a program.

Also in these podcast guys I often go into a bit of silence just to allow me to gather myself and for you to absorb what's being said.

They're intentional.

OK.

I haven't sort of I haven't gone anywhere.

About the joy of life.

Let me put it another way.

The inner critic just to give it a name.

It's useful.

It sort of sucks the joy out of life.

Some people can't even walk down the street without them talking to them.

So they're inner critic.

They're condemning them.

Judging them.

So first of all it's good to know that you the inner critic is a pattern of thoughts as I've said.

Now you are aware of these thoughts aren't you.

So these thoughts are not you.

That's the first thing to realize.

There's a separation.

But what happens is you believe the thoughts.

That's the problem.

It's the belief.

Those thoughts are true.

So let's say for instance the inner critic says all the thoughts arise and saying you are stupid.

Oh you're so stupid.

OK let's make it real.

It quite often gets worse than that.

But let's just say for an exit for example you are stupid.

So you can see that.

Ah yeah there's a thought you are stupid and you believe it.

And so you feel stupid.

It becomes a reality because you've taken the thought to be a fact to be true in that moment.

OK.

Now what I want you to do here we're going to have our first practical exercise.

You may have done this with me before.

So what I want you to do I want you to say something critical to yourself.

Just on the level of thought it may be you are so stupid.

Something like that.

Make it real.

And I want you to say to yourself for 10 seconds.

That's all.

Go ahead.

OK so even under test conditions like this it can still feel real.

Now imagine during the day when we in a sense fall unconscious.

We go unaware of what's actually happening.

And we find ourselves in this world of the inner critic.

So what I'd like you to do this time.

I want you to say the same phrase again.

But this time before before you're going to say I'm having the thought dot dot dot.

Say it again with I'm having a thought dot dot dot.

You see the difference.

To see how it gives you a perspective it creates a gap.

That's what you need.

You need a gap between you as presence awareness your awareness your presence and the thought because these thoughts arising in your presence.

I think I would be aware of them.

This is so vital to get to get this start getting this.

OK.

So I'm having the thought dot dot dot.

And so to apply that practically in your everyday life when a critical thought appears.

Say the thought back to yourself but with I'm having the thought I'm so stupid.

OK.

And you may need to do two three four five times and just keep doing it whenever it appears.

Oh I'm having the thought dot dot dot.

And it takes the emotion out of it.

It takes it takes it away at the feeling level.

So it doesn't feel real.

That's the first thing first practical thing.

And it's so good it's from the Zen tradition.

It's such a neat little technique.

Use it anytime obviously.

OK.

So you know there's the inner critic there's the judge there's the you know.

Just the inner commentary.

It's all the same it's all just programming.

And what we want to do is start to create a gap.

I wish this was on video.

So I use my hands a lot.

By the way guys I do do on Tuesday after Tuesday afternoons one thirty UK time on insight timer.

I do live sessions one thirty UK time.

If this interests you.

So let's just take a slightly different view of the of the inner critic of these thoughts.

Because that's all they are.

That's all we've just given this this pattern of thoughts and then the inner critic which can be helpful just for communication purposes.

So what if those thoughts.

I want to read something to you.

OK.

So you're sitting still.

You're silent.

You're quiet.

You're just enjoying the quiet.

I'm going to read something to you just a couple of words.

Orlet Tima.

Well what happened.

You're probably thinking what on earth are you talking about.

Unless you understand that language.

Forgive me if you do.

OK I'm going to say something else.

Ti j'a boudala.

Ti j'a boudala.

Well that's Albanian for.

You are stupid.

So you didn't you had no reaction did you.

You had no idea.

That's what they meant.

So what if just for example just use your imagination.

What if the internal dialogue of the inner critic all turn to a different language.

Or if it all turned to Chinese or.

Yeah Albanian or Bulgarian or whatever a language you don't understand.

Forgive me if you understand these languages guys.

Just trying to pick a few random ones out.

Because you obviously understand English.

We give.

See those thoughts are just sounds aren't they.

Just sounds in the head.

Stupid.

But we give the meaning.

Oh these sounds must mean I'm stupid.

These sounds must mean I'm not good enough.

We give the meaning.

But if all the internal dialogue of the inner critic the judge all turn to a different language.

A language you didn't understand.

You'd live merrily along wouldn't you.

I don't know what that means.

It's like saying it to a dog.

Dog doesn't know.

Dog doesn't know what you're talking about.

I would never say that to my dog but if I have a dog.

If I said you are stupid he'd wag his tail.

He'd wag his tail.

And come over and want a kiss from me.

Oh daddy.

Because that's what he does.

What you're doing.

And you know he's only four and a half years old and he's gone blind.

But why doesn't he suffer from that.

This is a slightly different point but it's interesting.

Why does he.

Physically he can suffer because he might bump into something that's why we have to you know we have to be vigilant when he's you know when we're out with him.

But why didn't he suffer psychologically from it.

He never has since day one.

There was one or two days of confusion when it happened about 18 months ago.

Because he doesn't have the language for it.

He doesn't have a language for blind.

He doesn't have the word for it.

He doesn't have a word for the past.

Oh I used to be able to see.

It used to be so much easier.

How bad is it going to get.

He doesn't have language.

The unfortunate thing about language is that we believe it all.

We've taken you know we take the concept of past and future to be real.

Their concepts they're very very useful.

Well they're necessary.

We tell stories see and that's why we suffer in that way.

And that's why a dog doesn't suffer.

Just an interesting point.

You don't need to think about that too much.

But all Ectima.

OK last exercise.

For me the first exercise is the primary one.

But sometimes just these other exercises just so I don't like that one.

I'll do that.

So next time you have a critical thought.

OK let's take that one.

You are stupid.

Take it and say it backwards to yourself.

You are stupid deep deep roots raw.

Now why would that work.

Because it takes your attention away from the meaning.

Into the actual.

How do you see the only thing you have a control over.

You don't have control over the thoughts.

You have control over your attention.

So you take your attention and you.

So your your folks your attention is on trying to work out what.

What is it backwards then.

Then that original meaning is gone.

Try it.

OK guys I hope that's been helpful.

Yeah.

I didn't open up too much today.

I don't think so anyway.

Never quite know how it comes across.

But do join me on the Tuesdays.

If you wish and if you would please follow.

Click on the profile and follow me if you would.

That's all I ask is that you.

Come back come back.

The intention of these is to make a difference.

Not just to give you lots of information but to make a difference to your life.

This has made a difference to my life.

I had some good teachers.

OK guys.

Thank you very much.

Bye bye.

Reviews

Lovely light hearted talk. I appreciate the kindness and playfulness in his voice around somethin that can feel so heavy like harsh inner self-talk. Really enjoyed this. Thank you

How wonderful! I loved the spontaneity and didn't mind the umms one bit, In fact I was rapt throughout the entire talk. It was like listening to a wise friend or mentor. I'm so excited to try this out whenever my inner meanie says horrible things. Bit of humour too, saying ' taf era ouy' made me giggle

Wonderful! I love this, very useful. Thank You for bringing this to me and sharing it with me🏵✨

Thank you, really useful. I’ll listen to that again.

Great talk! First time listener, I am grateful to a friend for the recommendation. I will explore your other offerings.

This little talk was so potent, effective and practical. It brought many previously taught concepts into clear focus. Thank you!!