Day 5. Who's This In The Shower With Me

GRANDMOTHER MIND - GRANDMOTHER HEART

Suryacitta begins with a delightful story from his childhood. He then illustrates how the attitude of his grandmother - welcoming, loving, and non-judgmental - is what we need to develop in our meditation, and indeed our life. There is a talk then a guided meditation.

Transcript

So hello so another daily session from a mindful life and this story is called grandmother mind grandmother heart and it's based on a true story that i remember from when i was a little boy so i will read the story and then a little commentary and a short meditation sobo mindo is a japanese term and according to the meditation tradition something we all need to develop our own happiness is dependent on developing sobo mindo when i was a young boy my mum used to take me to see my grandmother she was always grand to me my mum would open the door to her house i would run in and my gran would say come here son and give me a big kiss she would open her arms and give me a big cuddle i used to love going to my grand's she may have been the same with all of her grandchildren and i'm sure she was but i didn't care i knew she loved me my mum would sometimes say he's been a naughty boy you know he hasn't washed behind his ears he wouldn't brush his teeth last night but it didn't matter to my grandmother she would say i don't care come here son and give me another kiss you go and do your shopping and leave him with me she would say to my mum sobo mindo as you may have guessed translates as grandmother mind or grandmother heart this is what we all need to develop just as my gran welcomed everything about me so we need to do the same with ourselves it is not that she would never say to me go wash darling or that she never corrected me when i was naughty but she loved me anyway in our meditation practice we need to develop this same attitude it may be self-criticism it may be tears failure feelings of embarrassment and shame or sadness and joy what we need is to meet our experience with grandmother heart grandmother heart is the heart of compassion it doesn't judge it doesn't condemn or criticize it doesn't pick faults or gossip about people grandmother mind is open and warm it welcomes everything into its embrace grandmother mind is discerning but not judgmental often we turn away from our own difficult emotions the last thing we want to do is to open our hearts to something we don't like however this is the very thing we need to do if we are to stop the inner conflict the internal struggle which we find ourselves in when we are experiencing difficult emotions most of us have a tendency to stay in our head we try to work it all out we try to scheme but the grandmother mind lives in the heart however if we stay in the head with its stories opinions and judgments we cannot hear the heart and what it is whispering to us the heart always welcomes whatever is happening no matter how much it hurts as well as being the place of gentleness and welcoming the heart is also the place of courage if we talk about people who have shown courage in life we never say they have a brave head but of course a brave heart if we can learn to live in the heart then we learn to live not only more compassionately but also more courageously too our meditation again and again takes us from the abstract and judgmental world of the mind of the head to the real world of the heart the land of feeling and presence so that's the end of the story and i hope it's given you a flavor of the kind of attitude we can develop towards ourselves because primarily how we see ourself how we relate to ourself is how we relate to the world so when we're sitting in meditation or just being quiet or even walking the dog or whenever driving the car or the automobile it doesn't matter something comes up we may feel a little shaken by something or a little frustrated a little sad or feeling of shame just welcome it just feel it that's all we need to do just create a space for it so let's do a little practice shall we just find a quiet space and sit comfortably just going to sit for four or five minutes not long just sense yourself sitting here the whole of your life has brought you to this point right here and now take your attention to your heart area sense into this area just keep sensing your grandmother's heart is limitless it's a big open space of welcoming it's not an object but within this open space you may find a tightness attention you may feel relaxed warm you find a sad feeling nothing much at all it doesn't matter even welcome nothing or seemingly nothing now if there is something a little uncomfortable i want you to just feel it does it have a color don't answer this intellectually i want you to feel into it does it have a texture now you've got to move a little bit a little closer you've got to feel it if you were to rub your hand over it what would it feel like now i'd like you to look for the center the dead center of this i want you to feel for the center not looking for an answer it's an experiential exploration can you even find a center i never have found one so maybe this something isn't quite as solid as we assume welcome if anything else arises that's pleasant or unpleasant welcome let it be now i want you to take your attention in a felt sense kind of way and look for the edge of this where's the edge so now there's something here feels a little anxious or whatever whatever is your something can i find where it ends let me have a look let me feel into this so i circle around it i circle and circle can you find that edge as you circle out further and further i never have now we may be feeling into other parts of the body so where's this edge where does it end so what you're exploring here is grandmother heart itself just the space grandmother mind is the space of welcoming the grandmother heart is as big as the world it just allows whatever to be here what is here is not as solid and real as we assume i'm not saying nothing's happening that's why we treat it with respect and allow it to be that's all you need to do just keep on feeling it and you can end this by opening your eyes or just having a little stretch that's it so thank you see you tomorrow bye