A bed of thornless roses,
A meditation for transforming self-harm into self-compassion.
This meditation begins with a story about the transition from self-harm to self-compassion.
Saint Francis of Assisi was in an agony of guilt and shame.
He begged God to punish him,
But no punishment came.
So he decided that self-inflicted pain was the only way out of his agony.
He wanted the pain to release his guilt.
He went out into the rose garden,
Where the rose bushes were bare except for their thorns.
He threw himself into the thicket of roses,
Wanting the thorns to tear his flesh and cause him pain.
But the roses didn't harm him.
Instead,
The rose vines dropped all their thorns and opened their blossoms for him.
The scent and sight of the roses were a balm for his agony.
The compassion of those beautiful roses awakened his self-compassion.
The true way forward is always through compassion and kindness.
Are you in a moment in your life where you feel like harming or punishing yourself is the only way to tolerate your emotional pain?
Even the fact that you went looking for a meditation about self-compassion is an act of self-compassion.
You're already on the path.
Now let's get into the guided visualization.
Imagine walking into a rose garden.
In this garden,
You are surrounded by thick,
Mature rose bushes that tower over your head and gather together in impenetrable bunches.
Think of roses you've seen in person or in a photograph.
Imagine their scent,
Their colors.
Find a corner of this imaginary garden that's lush with grass,
Like that soft,
Cozy grass that's nice to sit in.
Now imagine sitting in a spot where you face a thicket of roses and you have them easily within the reach of your hands.
Imagine that you are very comfortable.
You're sitting in the shade on a sunny day,
A day that is cool and welcoming.
Take a moment to arrive in this space.
Breathe in the scent of the roses.
Notice the contrast of the welcoming roses and the prickly thorns on their vines.
Just take a moment to look and imagine those thorns.
Now let's turn your attention inward.
What's happening inside of you?
What wants your attention?
What are you feeling?
Let's explore the emotion that is plaguing your heart and mind.
Can you identify the emotion?
Can you name it?
Are you struggling with shame or fear?
Anxiety or anger?
Is there a destructive urge arising within you?
An urge to do something that would harm you in some way?
Just noticing,
You don't have to do anything about it.
You're just getting to know what's here.
Now turn your attention back to the roses.
Take a deep breath in.
Breathe in the rich perfume of the roses and exhale.
And breathe again.
Take in the beauty of your surroundings in this imaginary garden.
And now,
Tune into your body.
What part of your body is aching for punishment the most?
What does that feel like?
Are there any physical sensations involved?
If there are,
Name them.
Do you notice any tension?
A restlessness?
Do you feel numb?
What words describe the sensations in your body right now?
Just noting and noticing everything that's happening in your body.
And then shifting your attention back to the roses.
What colors do you see?
Are any of the roses a deep crimson red?
Do you see white roses?
What about light pink roses with dark pink tips on the petals?
Or roses of hot pink with a glowing yellow center?
Do you see any orange roses in this garden?
Now look at the thorns.
Some tiny and others are thick and threatening.
The thorns march along all of the vines stating their protective intentions.
Those thorns say stay away,
Don't touch.
And again,
Turn your attention inward.
What kinds of thoughts are coming up for you as you contemplate these sharp thorns on the rose bushes?
Remember,
These are only thoughts.
You don't have to act on them.
Just notice the nature of these thoughts.
Are your thoughts critical?
Are they critical of you?
Or are your thoughts supportive?
The thoughts that are arising,
Are they pleasant or unpleasant?
And what is your action urge?
What do you want to do right now?
Name it.
Acknowledge it.
We don't have to act on our urges,
But it does help to recognize them.
Perhaps your urge is pushing you towards an old habit,
Or perhaps pushing you to try something new.
Just notice the qualities of that urge.
Now,
Imagine standing and pushing your body into the rose bushes.
And yet,
As you connect with the vines,
You feel no pain.
The thorns fall off the vines to the ground where they disappear.
Instead,
A bounty of roses bursts forth every place that your body makes contact with the vines.
Roses of pink and yellow and orange and red and white,
Each with their own scent,
Some sweeter,
Some more lemony.
Petal after petal unfolds,
Stroking your tender skin with the sensations of velvet and leather.
That's what the rose petals feel like.
Take a moment to exhale and sigh.
Relax your body.
Rest for a moment in this bed of thornless roses,
Taking in the sights and scents,
The colors,
Textures.
Let your imagination run.
What would bring you the most comfort in this moment as you rest in a bed of thornless roses?
Offer that to yourself.
Would you like an opportunity to just close your eyes and feel supported?
Maybe we can take this in a whole new direction,
And you can summon a sweet,
Compassionate animal to keep you company.
Maybe a cat to curl up in your arms and cuddle up to.
Maybe a bird to fly in your arms amidst the roses.
Maybe colorful butterflies visit the roses and land gently on your body.
Are there bluebirds or white doves?
Those are Francis's favorite.
Flying overhead and landing on branches.
Hear squirrels and chipmunks gather at your feet.
Offer yourself the delight and comedy of animal companions in your rose garden.
Here you are.
Imagine this bounty of roses and sweet animals as an offering of compassion.
For Saint Francis,
The roses represented God's forgiveness and compassion.
Can you find a way to connect with that kind of compassion?
Imagine your higher power,
Or the universe,
Or God,
Or your ancestors offering you these roses in this moment as a symbol of their compassion for you.
Can you accept these roses as an invitation to extend self-compassion to yourself?
What part of you is asking for acceptance?
What part of you dearly needs compassion?
For just a moment,
Let's summon the story that caused your intense emotions,
Whatever that experience was.
Can you imagine that story as a thicket of thorns?
And then imagine all of the thorns falling away.
As you open yourself to compassion.
Any thorns that are stuck inside of you.
Imagine them falling away and disappearing.
Imagine your heart opening like a blooming rose of compassion.
Continue to lay in the bed of thornless roses.
Imagining those internal thorns falling away.
Keep searching for those inner thorns.
And one by one,
Transform them into roses of compassion.
Take a moment to imagine this.
When we meet our wounds with compassion,
We heal them.
As you continue through this week,
Return to the metaphor of the thornless roses again and again.
And now just take a moment to simply lay in this bed of thornless roses.
And breathe.
You don't have to do anything.
Just imagine what it would be like to be held in this cradle of self-compassion.
I hope that this story of St.
Francis and his own transformation from self-harm to self-compassion has helped you in some way.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for practicing this with me.
