Take a deep breath in and let go.
Thanks for joining me today for exploring compassionate listening.
This only one skill can transform all aspects of life.
Like relationships,
As people feel gratified when they get a feeling of really being heard to whom they are spilling their heart out.
Health,
Since in process of deep listening,
It gives an opportunity to speak and yourself to release and not suppress.
A compassionate listener is one with whom you feel at home.
Get the feeling of being listened from standing in the place of no judgments,
Labels of good or bad.
And you are stripped of your fears and anxieties of sharing.
And it is kind of emotional nude.
Here layer by layer,
You have stripped all hidden thoughts,
Emotions and unmasked yourself.
Sometimes you might have experienced this and those communications and feelings can be experienced,
Not explained.
Get connected to the feeling it has after such communications.
The sense of freedom,
Lightness in the heart,
Energy and willingness to take new actions.
Do we think it is a blessing to have a compassionate listener in our life?
It takes away the burden we carry in our hearts and head and makes us feel it is alright the way we are without any alterations.
You get to experience the power of validation.
Are we ready to explore how to become one?
Here are some of the points you want to inquire and get aware of why we do not listen or the other person does not get the feeling of being heard.
We are mostly wired from our childhood by observations and behaviors of people around us to win spaces of communication and consider it like a war.
There is a deep human urge to get attention and to satisfy that sometimes we tend to speak when the time is to listen or tend to give our opinion on topics where we have limited knowledge.
Thinking that we know what the person has to say,
Thinking of our turn to speak when the time is to listen,
Carried away by our own judgments and emotions and listening from our views and lived realities of life.
Sometimes you may find yourself in a conversation not knowing what to say next because you can't remember what's been said before.
Something internally triggers within us which holds us back from accepting any other views which is not matching ours.
Observe consciously when in communication you tend to offer the advice not asked for,
Urge to speak not required and feeling of I know it being right.
Now let us take some of the common examples and tools which will help us to offer undivided attention.
First,
Multitasking,
Driving,
Texting while having an important conversation.
Researches have shown multitasking does not help.
Can we commit to do one thing at a time?
Second,
Say a conversation requires 10 minutes and in a hurry we cut it off with very minimal responses.
Instead,
Maybe in the beginning of conversation saying it might require more time,
Can we have it later?
Third,
Some of the people for whom we do not have a good opinion,
Even if they talk something good,
We are emotionally and mentally off to pay our attention.
Can we do instead put our little voice in the head aside and listen?
Fourth,
Say a bad day in office and one's home,
The focus of attention is inward to the official conversations and emails.
Can we put focus and spotlight on the person at home we are talking?
This happens to me quite often and my family members get it loud and clear that I am only physically with them and mentally in office.
Fifth,
Practice mindfulness in conversations.
Be out there and not focusing on you,
You and you,
But focus on them and emotions and commitment behind the conversations.
Becoming aware of the above and our actions,
Our internal state and dialogues gives us an access to let go and listen.
Awareness allows us to access and make a choice to go beyond our thoughts and emotions to provide deep listening.
This will break the pattern which is wired in our brains first consciously with practice and then repetitions will prime new pathways in our brain and allow awareness to come more naturally.
Maybe you can consider to take a minute after your conversations and ponder upon the moments in conversation when you were listening to the speaker and went to yourself or filtering the conversations by right,
Wrong,
Good,
Bad.
Initially by pondering after conversations will lead to you becoming aware during the conversations as well and will build your solid muscles for a compassionate listening.
Compassionate listening can jailbreak the huge possibilities and give life to numbed jokes and kindle desires.
Like Cheryl Richardson has said,
People start to heal the moment they feel heard.
Wish you all the very best to provide the space of compassionate listening.
You always wanted others to hold for you.
Namaste.
