Namaste.
Thanks for joining me in this discourse.
Let us together take a deep breath in and let go.
Now,
I will not go into the definition of codependency as we all know and it can exist in any relationship,
Partner-partner,
Husband-wife,
Parent-child,
Co-worker and even with neighbors.
There are many signs of codependency.
Some of them are like 1.
Happiness,
Well-being,
Both emotional and physical,
Is dependent on other person.
2.
Preoccupied mind,
Probably 24 by 7,
With either the time well spent in the past or imagining about the future.
3.
Nothing else matters apart from being with the other person.
4.
Undying and deep desire for validation,
Acknowledgement from the other person.
5.
Excessive worry about the person's perception about yourself and over-analyzing any of your actions or words.
Now let's deep dive into the 5 ways which will give us freedom from codependency.
Becoming aware that there is a codependency exist and you wanna do something about it is the first and bold step.
And remember,
You are not alone.
There is a very very high percentage of people who are codependent in one or the other relationship and are unconscious about the impact of it in their and their loved one's life.
You,
The one who is conscious and willing to make a difference to yourself and others around you is a differentiator.
Become conscious about how this cycle of codependency behavior is working.
Most likely,
There is a deep desire for being loved,
Appreciated,
Acknowledged and it is quite common and a human desire.
There is nothing wrong in it.
The person in relationship satisfies that desire and we get hooked on to the person and wanting to relive this moment again and again where this hunger of love and acknowledgement is satisfied.
And it satisfies our basic need of belongingness.
The question to ponder on is what is the impact of hooking on and our sense of self which is sacrificed.
We think ourselves as not worthy,
Not lovable,
Not good enough and that is the belief within us unless the reaffirmation from the other person happens.
So we have to work on our belief rather than temporarily release from the reaffirmation and reaffirmation from the other person.
If a person has to make a choice between authenticity and attachment which sometimes causes codependency,
Most likely the choice would be attachment.
And when we do this repeatedly,
Then it becomes a habit of sacrificing our own needs and self-worth for the attachment and we sometimes lose our self-esteem and self-worth in the process.
Loving your authenticity and self-worth initially may be painful but over a period of time,
If self-worth is not sacrificed,
You will start loving yourself and so do the other person.
4.
Approaching a person for a need to fulfil,
Then the relationship is transactional.
Visualise yourself as whole and complete and then when you get into relationship,
Not with unmet desire or needs or expectations,
That gives birth to divine relationship that will automatically and naturally not only meet the desire and the needs but will have abundance and flourishing for both the persons in the relationship.
5.
More of a self-inquiry.
Get present to your internal communication within yourself about the relationship and the future you foresee of the relationship.
Is it empowering or disempowering?
Ask yourself are you authentic in the relationship?
These questions will become awareness and do not resist or hide.
The sincere question and your answer will help you.
