Deep Dive Clarity Exploration

An invitation to deep dive in to your subconscious mind with an informal chat around head space followed by a relaxing visualisation taking you on an inner journey to re connect with yourself alongside a beautiful cello solo designed for your enjoyment. This 'Clarity Exploration' is a 35 minute talk and guided meditation exploring brain fog and awareness, helpful if you are finding it hard to connect with your inner voice and the things you want to focus on in your life. Love the Styx Sisters

Transcript

Awareness is a curious thing.

It seems as though it should be static and consistent.

If we're awake and we're conscious,

If we can see and speak and go to the supermarket,

Then surely we are aware.

Well,

Yes and no.

How aware we are actually exists on a spectrum.

Where we personally sit on that spectrum of awareness shifts constantly,

And these shifts can be dramatic or subtle.

It's even possible to function from the lower un-awareness end of the spectrum.

Have you ever gone somewhere and when you've arrived,

You've had virtually no recollection of the journey you took to get there?

It's a common phenomenon,

Especially in people driving familiar routes.

We as a species are prone to becoming lost in thought and have become quite adept at autopilot.

We're able to do all sorts of things with very little awareness being required.

So what is awareness then?

Awareness relates to how present or how conscious each of us are.

It's how aware we are of our self,

Of our environment and of the people that we're sharing our environment with.

Our levels of awareness naturally change throughout the day and are often dictated according to where we place our attention or focus.

If you sit down to work on a computer,

Your level of awareness of the room that you're in or the people that are near you will probably go down.

We tend not to notice when our awareness shifts,

But becoming more aware of our awareness can be a really useful way of self-regulating and cultivating a healthier,

Less anxious inner climate.

To get a better perspective,

Let's imagine the spectrum of awareness as layers of water.

Our lowest layer consists of very deep,

Dark water.

This layer represents unawareness or our unconscious.

We actually do an awful lot unconsciously,

Like the journey we can't recall,

And this unconscious layer can have a surprising amount of influence on us.

We all have our sunken ships of fears,

Memories,

Traumas and stories that we are not consciously aware of down here.

And although we are not aware of them,

It doesn't stop them from having an influence on us and our conscious decision making.

Depression,

Aggression,

Anxiety,

Self-destructive behaviors and addictions can all be fed by that which lurks in this layer.

Sometimes our actions which are driven by this layer might seem shameful or confusing to us.

Why did I do that?

Because what's down here can act like underwater currents,

Suddenly dragging us off in unexpected and undesirable directions.

But while this layer may appear dark and intimidating,

There lies treasure in those sunken ships and doing personal reflective work to shed light on some of what's down here can help us to deepen our understanding of ourselves,

Giving us the ability to make more authentic and autonomous choices.

As Joseph Campbell said,

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.

Where you stumble,

There lies your treasure.

In the layer above,

The water is less dark,

But there's a pressure to it and it's cloudy and murky,

Making it difficult to see well.

Most of us actually spend a lot of our time in this layer.

We can go about our routines and function normally from here,

But we are for the most part preoccupied,

Usually by our thoughts,

Worries,

Judgments,

To-do lists,

Daily demands or even Facebook or Netflix.

Basically what makes this layer of water so cloudy is stress.

Why does stress cloud our awareness?

Because the human body hasn't changed much in the last 100,

000 years and our bodies react to stressors today in the same way that they did back when we lived in caves.

If we perceive a threat,

The body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline into our bloodstream,

Both of which are super helpful when the stressor is something like a prehistoric predatory animal,

Because these hormones,

Among other things,

Make our hearts beat faster and our vision narrow so that we become hyper-focused and better equipped to run from or fight the threat.

This response is perfect for a stressor like a predatory animal because it's a situation that's resolved relatively quickly.

We either escape or we don't.

But the world has changed since then,

A lot.

Now in our modern day world,

The stressor is no longer a prehistoric predatory animal.

It's your boss or your overflowing inbox or your rent being due,

Or perhaps there's a global pandemic and looming economic crisis.

These things,

As we know,

Are not resolved quickly,

So they instead become chronic stressors,

Meaning that those stress hormones,

Which are so useful when we're facing an imminent and aggressive attack,

Are actually being pumped into our systems almost all of the time.

Not only is this physically exhausting,

It also clouds our awareness and impairs our decision making.

The persistent stress that we're so accustomed to creates a reality by which we are almost constantly overwhelmed,

Whether we realise it or not.

And while we are able to function in it,

Our awareness is muted,

So we miss out on a lot.

On top of that,

When we've experienced trauma in our past,

The water in this layer becomes especially murky.

There is,

Fortunately,

Another layer above this one,

A layer of bright,

Clear surface water.

In this layer of awareness,

A low to non-existent level of stress leaves us with the capacity to be more aware of ourselves and our environment,

While still being able to tend to what we need to practically.

You may have experienced this layer after a particularly good night's sleep.

Perhaps you woke up naturally just before your alarm was supposed to go off,

And you really enjoyed your morning shower because you weren't rushing or lost in thought,

And you noticed how good the water felt on your body.

In this layer,

You'd probably see things on your journey into work that you wouldn't normally notice.

Maybe someone's growing really beautiful flowers on your street,

Maybe you even stopped to smell them,

Or perhaps there's a kid in a pushchair passing you and you wave to each other.

Because there's very little stress in this layer,

We're able to take more information from a wider range in.

In this layer,

We can be fully present.

Those are our three layers of water,

But there's actually one more layer in the analogy,

The uppermost layer of air,

Which sits above the clear surface water.

This layer represents peak awareness in which we become deeply connected to ourselves and our environment.

Time spent in this layer is often perceived as spiritual in nature.

Practices like yoga,

Breath work,

And meditation are built around accessing this layer.

This is a nourishing and regenerative layer of awareness where mind,

Body,

And spirit can be restored.

So of these four layers,

It might seem as though we'd want to spend all of our time in the top two,

But in fact it's important for us to be able to move fluidly between all of them because each layer serves an important purpose.

Sometimes we need the stressed fight or flight responses that are common in the cloudy layer.

Say we step into the road without looking and there's a bus coming towards us.

If we stayed in the clear surface water or the air layer,

We might spend a bit too long appreciating the rich red colour of the bus.

It's the reactivity typical of the cloudy layer which would make us reflexively jump back onto the pavement.

There's gradation between the layers and it's possible and healthy for us to consciously swim between them in response to what our environment demands or allows,

But most importantly we want to avoid spending day after day floating in the cloudy layer,

Forgetting that we have access to alternative states of awareness.

And the more often we spend time at the surface of the water and breathe in the restorative properties of the air,

The better equipped we are for the times when life demands that we dive down into the cloudy waters or if we choose to explore our deepest,

Darkest depths.

So how do we move between these layers?

Frequently checking in with ourselves to establish which layer we're in is an important first step and sometimes that act alone is enough to pull us towards the surface,

Especially if we're in the cloudy layer.

This is creating an awareness of our awareness.

Orientating to the space that we're in can also help,

Noticing the colours and textures in our immediate environment and taking in details we might not have noticed before,

All helps to increase our awareness and to drift towards clearer waters.

Breathing exercises and bringing to mind things which bring us joy or comfort helps us to move nearer to the surface.

Thinking of a favourite piece of music or an animal that you love or place that makes you happy can all serve as resources to increase our natural buoyancy.

Let's take a journey now where we'll explore these layers,

Feeling into each one with the intention of becoming more familiar with how they feel and learning how we might more easily swim between them.

I invite you now to lie down and make sure that you're comfortable and I recommend closing your eyes if you're comfortable with this.

Start now to notice your breath.

Begin to breathe a little deeper.

Inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.

Notice your tummy rise and fall.

Find a flow.

Breathing deeply and naturally.

Take a shallow breath and make it more full and enjoyable.

Do not force the breath,

Let it rise up easily and release from you with no resistance.

Imagine now that you are lying on a sandy beach.

The sun has been beating down on the sand all day.

You begin to allow your body to be held by millions of grains of sand under you.

Imagine all of the energy the sand has accumulated in the sun radiating the underside of your body.

Notice how good it feels to be in your skin.

Feel the energy flow into your body.

Feel it rise up through your heels,

Your calves,

The back of your knees and your thighs.

Soak in the warm healing energy through your skin.

Feel the sensation grow as the energy permeates your lower back,

Your upper back,

Shoulders and arms.

Feel it flow to your hands.

Give yourself permission to dissolve as you begin to feel energized with goodness.

As your neck relaxes,

Let the sand take the weight of your head as you feel more comfortable than ever before.

Notice now if there is any tension left in your body.

Try to locate where that tension is.

These places of tension are where you are holding on to disappointments,

Fears and pain.

Thoughts that you are not supported,

That you are failing.

Let's acknowledge that they are here with us.

Release your palms downwards and now start to clench your fists,

Sending the tension you sense to your hands now.

Imagine you are clenching the sand tightly in your fists and notice how this feels.

Release very tightly and allow all of the stress of today,

This week,

This year to flow to your fists and into the sand you are holding.

Put all of your tension into your fists now and inhale deeply.

Hold here for a few moments and as you let your breath out,

Allow the sand to fall away from your hands as you unclench your fists and let your hands rest.

You feel lighter.

The sand carrying your tension dissolves into the body of the beach,

Neutralizing any negativity,

Pain or resistance.

Take a moment to notice the peace.

You sink back further into the comfortable imprint your body has made in the sand.

Envizage the billions of grains of sand holding you as you rest.

You feel fully held.

In doing this,

You are inviting your awareness to wrap around you.

You feel grounded and balanced and totally at one with yourself.

You continue to breathe delicious,

Deep,

Flowing breaths as you relax further.

You are giving yourself the gift of rest.

The tide starts to lap at your feet.

Notice how it moves in and out like your breath.

As it rises from your toes to your ankles,

You inhale and as it glides back,

You exhale slowly and deeply.

You feel connected to this body of water laid out before you.

Continue to breathe with the tide for a few more breaths.

Release any thoughts that are flowing in and out of your mind.

Let them slip into the body of water where you can revisit them later.

Imagine now that you slowly sit up.

You see a boat a short distance away,

Floating at the edge of the sea.

Take some moments now to envisage the boat.

This is your own private boat waiting just for you.

The water today is so clear and still and the sun is glistening.

You decide to take the boat out to sea as you walk towards it now.

Imagine yourself getting into your boat and as it glides towards the horizon,

You feel a sense of freedom wash over you.

The shoreline becomes smaller as your boat moves out into the body of water.

The wind is carrying you at a perfect pace.

You trust the journey and before long,

You notice the perfect place to stop and lower the rope at an anchor.

As the anchor splashes and sinks into the surface of the water,

You watch as it disappears and feel it ground as the boat becomes more steady.

You now have direct contact with the bottom of the sea and it feels good to be anchored.

You feel safe.

You can see in every direction and you know that you are not going to drift away.

You feel deeply relaxed by the huge body of mysterious water supporting you.

You take a few deep breaths of the salty sea air.

The more air you breathe,

The clearer you feel.

It feels like time has slowed down as you take in the clouds slowly drifting above you and the color of sky all around you.

You feel connected with yourself and the world around you.

The color of the water is beautiful and mesmerizing.

You notice your reflection in the surface water and notice how relaxed you look and feel.

You feel totally in touch with yourself.

It feels restorative and energizing.

Take a moment to think back to when you last felt like this.

Perhaps after a long night's sleep in the moments before you fully wake up.

Perhaps if you have tried meditation this might feel close.

From this feeling of wholeness which you know you can return to at any time using the rope,

You decide to undress and dip your toes into the sea sitting on the edge of the boat.

You notice that as the water gets deeper,

The water turns a darker shade of blue,

Deep sapphire blue.

As you look at the beautiful ripples forming as you dip your toes in the water,

You notice something shimmering in the depths of the water.

You wonder what it is.

The water feels cool and healing on your feet.

You decide to get in and as you slip into the water,

Your body becomes lighter and you start to float.

You are breathing fully and easily.

You can see the rope to which the boat and the anchor are attached and feel completely safe.

You float on your back feeling the air on your face and the mysterious and nourishing waters holding you from beneath.

The water is the perfect temperature for your body.

You are being asked to let go of all the tasks and mental lists you have in your mind and anything weighing you down.

Here you are asked to surrender.

That means give up,

Abandon,

Relinquish.

Here you are floating.

Here you can simply be.

There is a wonderful sense of buoyancy and lightness in your body.

The smell of the salty air and the taste of the salt on your lips seem heightened and the sounds of the water lapping against the side of the boat are reassuring.

Now that you've surrendered all your weight to the water,

A profound sense of connection and gratitude washes over you.

You feel safe as the rope gently brushes your hand.

Ask yourself when you last felt like this.

From here you call to mind that moment or if you are having trouble finding that memory,

Imagine something that brings you joy.

It might be a person,

A pet,

Maybe it's a place that holds happy memories for you or simply a feeling.

Bring it to mind and picture it for a moment as you lay here,

Floating weightlessly.

Sense how your body responds to this comforting image.

Maybe you feel expansion in your chest or throat.

Maybe the muscles in your face relax.

You feel fully present and for a few breaths you let yourself float here and be with your joyful image for a moment.

Drink in this feeling.

You look down and catch another glimmer of the shiny glint directly below you.

What is it?

You contemplate putting your head under the water to explore what that feels like.

You have the rope within reach and your lungs feel full of warm,

Fresh air.

And as your head dips below the surface of the water,

You notice a new perspective.

You can see your reflection above you.

You can also see your body below you,

The tones of the water getting darker towards your feet.

As you look down and watch your feet disappear into a darker shade of beautiful blue,

The deep water calls you.

You begin to feel heavier than before.

Go with this feeling and allow your body to become heavier as you sink deeper.

You trust this journey and find peace in the unfolding,

Allowing yourself to be guided by the currents within the water.

As you sink a little deeper,

It becomes more difficult to see as the water becomes cloudy.

You notice dark shapes moving around you,

But you can't quite make out what they are.

The water feels more turbulent down here,

Like you are being moved by currents beyond your control.

It is colder here too,

And there is a pressure forming in your body and head.

The murkiness of the water is encompassing.

Sit with this feeling and see how it feels for a few moments.

Does this feel familiar to you?

When was the last time you felt this way,

And what was going on at that time?

Below you can feel a strong current,

And as you strain to see what might be down there,

You notice a glint of brightness again.

Remembering there was a reason to this mission,

You decide to dive a little deeper as you are so close now.

You feel denser than before,

And sink further like a rock towards the bottom of the water.

The water is now dark.

You can hardly see anything at all.

In fact you are not quite sure which way the surface is anymore.

As you drift in the darkness,

You feel numb and heavy.

Visibility is very low.

You try reaching out to feel where you are,

But it seems like you are floating into a void.

Just notice how this feels in your body for a few moments.

It seems hard to imagine that anything can exist in such deep,

Dark,

Unfamiliar water,

But you sense that you are not alone down here.

In the deafening silence of this layer,

You can finally hear what the deepest part of yourself is saying.

Take a moment to listen.

Out of the corner of your eye you see a tiny glint,

What you came down here for.

You move towards it and finally feel your foot brush against something solid.

You wonder if it is a rock you might get caught on,

And then you realize it is the anchor.

Reaching out in the darkness you find the rope attached,

And as you wrap your hands around the rough twine,

The image that you called to mind earlier while floating on the surface water comes back to you.

Imagine again the things that bring you joy and allow a warm sensation to spread across your heart.

You begin to feel more aware of where you are and realize you have been down here for long enough.

Keeping the image in your mind,

The rope guides your hands as you rise up and up through the layers of water.

The cloudy water feels warmer as your awareness of your surroundings becomes more clear,

And you realize you can let go and float towards the surface as your body becomes less dense.

Moving closer and closer towards the light above you,

Your body feeling lighter and more energized,

Until finally you burst through the surface.

Taking in the deepest breath of air that you've ever taken.

Exhale fully and take a moment here to quietly acknowledge and thank whatever you brought to mind for its help in lifting you back up into the clear waters.

Know now that it is your inner resource and you can return to it at any time no matter how deep the water.

With a sense of calm,

You pull yourself back onto the boat waiting for you,

And as you look out across the water you feel grateful for your journey.

What was shimmering in the deep was the anchor all along,

Something you put there yourself.

No matter how deep you found yourself,

Or whatever layer of water you were in,

The rope was always nearby.

You were always able to access clearer waters,

Offering perspective and calm.

As you head for land,

You become aware of your breath again.

The air feels good in your lungs and you feel rejuvenated.

You feel wiser.

You now know that when you become dense and seem lost in the deep waters,

You are able to become lighter,

Allowing yourself to flow towards the cool,

Calm waters.

You know you can access your treasure,

Your anchor to self,

Even in the darkest water.

As the boat reaches the shore,

You place your feet in the sand and feel grounded and strong.

You decide to come back soon,

Knowing the anchor and the rope will always be there for you.

A refreshing feeling washes over you as you begin to wake up your body and begin to wiggle your fingers and toes.

If it feels okay to do so,

You can now open your eyes,

Or you may want to stay here a little longer and that's okay too.

Perhaps you might want to take a journal and note anything that may have come up for you while on your journey today.

Take a moment to thank yourself for setting aside time for this practice today.

Take a moment to thank yourself for setting aside time for this practice today.

You

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Great meditation/ talk ✨💫✨

Beautiful ❤️

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