Are you ok?
Well it's ok to not be ok and this practice is specifically for self-compassion.
It's very exciting for us to know that we can rewire our brains and that maybe there's been an inner critic in your mind since as long as you can remember.
But it's through practice we can change that voice that brings us down and sometimes we're not even aware that there is such a voice in our head that's bringing us down,
That's talking unkindly to ourselves.
And sometimes we never say the things to somebody else in the way that we say it to ourselves.
So can we find that inner critic?
Can we make friends with it?
Can we approach it in a kind and loving way?
Yes we can.
But it takes practice and every day it takes a little bit of practice in order to experience what self-compassion and self-love really feel like.
So let's try that now.
Choosing your comfortable seat.
I'm sitting in a cross-legged position today but if you're sitting on a chair that's great with two feet firmly on the ground and enjoy that sitting practice making sure that your back is reasonably straight.
So the way that we sit sends a signal to our mind that we are relaxed but alert.
Let us take three deep breaths.
Breathing with me,
Breathing in through the nose,
Breathing in.
And then slowly exhaling out the nostrils.
Nice and relaxed.
Breathing in again.
And exhaling out the nose.
With control.
And then last one,
Breathing in through the nose.
Pull those lungs,
Open the mouth and gently sigh that breath out.
Resting your awareness now just on your breathing.
You can feel that breath at the nostrils.
If you can't breathe through your nose because of a cold that's fine.
It's just a gentle calming breath.
Breathing in and out in your own time.
And try to keep your awareness on this act,
This process of breathing.
And the body is busy breathing itself and that is amazing.
As you find yourself focusing on your breathing,
You will find that your awareness is moving.
It is moving into the future,
Into the past.
So just try to keep yourself in this present moment by just focusing on your breath.
And it's normal,
It's normal for your mind to move.
You may be wondering why,
Why can't I focus?
Just let's try,
Rest it there for a while.
It's like your mind is a naughty little puppy and you have to keep on encouraging it to come back.
But we don't hurt the puppy and we don't give it a hiding,
We don't hit the puppy.
We just say come back,
Come back with loving kindness and non-judgment.
For many,
Many years I used to beat myself up.
I used to say why can't you focus on your breathing,
What's wrong with you?
Are you crazy fool?
Everybody else does better than you,
You can't do this.
Until I realized that everyone was the same.
And it was really hard to focus.
But instead of calling myself a crazy fool,
I started to say to myself,
Nice.
Congratulations for noticing that your mind has moved.
Now bring it back to the breath.
But well done.
So instead of beating myself up,
I started to love myself.
I started to feel kindness,
Say nice things.
This started a chain reaction of giving myself a break.
How nice.
Notice when your mind moves,
When you bring it back,
Just congratulate yourself with a lovely nice.
And if we can see that inner voice,
We may find it often says to us,
Don't ask for help,
What will they think?
Suck it up,
Push on through.
Put on a brave face.
I must be perfect.
Perhaps this is the critical voice of a parent or a sibling or a friend or an ex-lover that expected you to be the best,
The most kind,
The most thoughtful,
The most spiritual.
Is this really who we are expected to be?
We may be saying to ourselves,
I'm so awkward,
I'm not going to get any better at this.
I'll never be any different.
So just notice when we say these things to ourselves,
Very fixed mindsets.
Open,
Expand with the breath and remind yourself that it's a process.
And every time you congratulate yourself or be kind to yourself,
You are firing different neurons and wiring them in your brain.
Isn't that nice?
I'm going to give myself a break.
I'm going to be kind with myself.
I'm going to be patient with myself.
And in this process,
I will experience more joy and more peace and stillness.
Breathing in a lovely deep inhalation once again through the nostrils.
Breathe it out the mouth.
Check in with yourself.
Do you feel any different to when you joined?
Blinking your eyes open if you had them closed.
So we did some beautiful rewiring,
But it doesn't just happen.
It's like gym.
You've got to go to gym often.
You can't just go to gym once a year and expect great results.
No,
This is mental training.
This is building your brain.
We know this now.
Neuroscience has told us that this is how we do it.
We make it a lifestyle in the same way that you brush your teeth.
Every day we do a little bit of this.
A little bit of this flavor,
A little bit of that flavor,
Like different toothpaste.
Be well,
Look after yourselves and speak kindly.
Be nice to yourself.
Be nice.
