Episode 137: Trust In Yourself & Your Body | Erika Beal

Erika Beal is today’s guest on the Beautifully Changed Podcast and she is all about helping women activate their self-love and to stop inviting fad diets into their life.

Join us as we talk about:
Why fad diets are harmful
The difference between loving your body and appreciating your body
What respecting your body can look like
What is sexy
Erika’s coaching style
and more!

Transcript

There's no magic fix for it.

And there's,

You know,

You can spend all of your time wishing that it was different or your body was different,

But that's not going to do anything.

And when it comes from a place of,

You know,

Hatred and hate for yourself and your body,

To me,

It's just like hate just breeds more hate.

If that's what you're going to focus on,

That's what you're going to attract more of,

And you're never going to get out of that cycle.

You're always going to be looking for that magic fix if you just feel hate towards your body.

Hey there,

I'm Steph,

And I want to welcome you to the Beautifully Changed podcast.

This is where we explore how ordinary people do big things.

Welcome to your tipping point.

Good morning.

I hope you are going to have a phenomenal day ahead of you and that you're adding something that you enjoy into your day.

And today we are on episode 137.

I feel so honored and blessed to have come this far in this podcast journey.

And for you and for those who have come along with me,

I appreciate you so much.

And if this is your first time coming to my podcast,

Thank you so much and welcome.

And I hope that you will check out some other episodes as well.

And I would love it if you would take a moment and leave me a review to let me know what you are enjoying about the podcast and also what you would like more of.

Today I have Erykah Beal with me.

She is such a gentle force helping women release themselves from the obsessive thoughts about food and their body so they can get off this diet rollercoaster that is not doing them any good and have the energy to discover their true potential.

Erykah is a health and wellness empowerment coach and self-love activator.

I love that so much when we can all tap into our own self-love and appreciation for ourself and our bodies,

Our world changes.

And she wants to help be a part of that.

For other women out there who are going through that.

Now men,

If you are also struggling with love for your body and you're on a diet rollercoaster,

Stay tuned because maybe she'll speak to you as well.

And this might be an episode that you're going to want to share with a friend because most of us know somebody who is always tapping into the next fad diet.

Also,

Stay tuned till the end if you are resonating with Erykah and you would like to get off the diet rollercoaster or if you would just like to find appreciation for your body and for yourself in a whole new way than you are currently experiencing that,

Then stay tuned to see you can hear how to win a free session with Erykah.

Okay,

Let's dive in.

So Erykah,

Thank you so much for joining me today.

I'm so excited to talk to you,

Especially because you are a health and wellness empowerment coach and self-love activator.

I love that so much because you're helping women just release themselves from that obsessive thoughts about food and body so they can actually enjoy life and themselves and all of this good stuff.

So welcome and thank you for being here.

Yes,

Thank you so much for having me.

I'm so excited to be here.

Now,

Before we dive into all the goodness that you do for the women who you work with,

Can you share with me something you've learned recently that has inspired you?

Oh,

That's a good one.

I feel like lately everything has been inspiring me.

Gosh.

Well,

I just actually recently started reading.

Can I swear on here?

Yeah,

You can swear.

I just started reading this book,

The Fuck It Diet by Carolyn Dooney.

And it has been – or Carolyn Dooner,

Excuse me.

And it has been like so eye-opening and inspiring to just like really say screw it to everything we've ever thought true about diets.

And something that really stuck out to me was when we diet and we put ourselves through this restriction and then binging,

We're keeping our bodies in a constant state of struggle and a constant state of stress,

Really.

Like when is our next meal going to come?

And then it totally perpetuates the whole cycle that we get stuck in.

And I never really thought about it being like,

You know,

The saying feast or famine.

Dieting is putting ourselves through famine,

Essentially.

And what's the opposite of famine?

Feasting,

Right?

So when we think like we're lacking willpower,

It's really just our biological response to this famine that we are putting our bodies through.

And I'd never thought of it that way.

And when I read that,

I was like,

Oh my gosh,

It all makes even more sense to me now.

And I actually just had a conversation about this with a girlfriend of mine earlier today when she was saying,

You know,

Oh,

I need to go on a diet.

And I'm like,

Listen to this.

Think of it this way.

And she was like,

Oh my gosh,

I never thought of it like that either.

And it totally was like this just light bulb moment that we're putting ourselves through famine,

Essentially,

When we think we need to go on a diet or when we start a diet.

And it really,

It was eye-opening and inspiring to me to think of it that way.

It made me even more passionate about kicking this diet culture to the curb.

Mm,

I love that.

Okay,

Erica,

We gotta dive in because fad diets are like everywhere all the time,

Always in your thing.

They're just like constantly.

And then it,

Like,

You may try to fight them for a long time,

Then eventually you're like,

Well,

Should I?

Like,

Would I benefit somehow from this?

Like,

If everyone's doing it,

Maybe,

Like,

Should I be doing it?

Because I don't know.

It's just like everywhere and always in your face.

So what's your take on them and why do you think that fad diets and dieting lifestyle should be something we kick out altogether?

I think it takes our control and our power away when you really think about it.

Our bodies are these like amazing,

Smart,

Intelligent machines,

Right?

I mean,

Our heart beats without us telling it to beat.

Our lungs breathe without us telling it.

But when it comes to like food and figuring out what we should be eating,

When we constantly have all these diets thrown in our faces,

It makes us question our own ability to recognize what our bodies need.

And when you've spent your whole life,

Which a lot of us have,

With these diets thrown at you,

You lose all trust in yourself and trust in the fact that your body knows what it needs.

It just becomes harder and harder to listen to that because of all the noise being thrown at you.

So you go from diet to diet and you see that like,

Oh,

It worked for somebody,

Or,

You know,

Oh,

My best friend was on keto and she lost all this weight.

You go on the diet,

It might not work for your body,

But you don't think,

Oh,

The diet failed me.

You automatically think you failed the diet,

Which then sets you back even farther and even more into that space of self-hatred,

Thinking you're the failure and that there must be something wrong with you because it worked for everybody else.

And that's not it at all.

It just didn't work for your body.

And it's a matter of regaining that trust to listen to our bodies and to know that we're all different.

Every body literally is different.

And when you can get that trust back in yourself,

You can start listening to your body more and know that,

Okay,

You tried keto,

It didn't work for you.

Right,

It's not your fault.

You didn't fail it.

It just wasn't right for your body.

That's such a solid point that our bodies are all different and they're gonna respond to things differently and to just learn to trust yourself and your body and listen to that versus what you think would somehow,

If you were this certain shape or this certain weight or these certain things that all of a sudden that increases your value when you're priceless and valuable the entire time without having to only have this crazy restricted diet that just consumes every ounce of your day.

And you don't realize how much time and energy you spend when you're in that diet mentality until you're out of it.

Like when you really think about how much time you spend or spend thinking about food.

I mean,

Thinking back to elementary school was really when I can think about being so uncomfortable in my body and worrying about my weight.

I mean,

By the time I was in eighth grade,

Most kids are like on sports teams and doing that sort of thing.

I was taking a cardio kickboxing class with adults because I needed to lose weight in my mind.

And that was eighth grade.

And now I think I'm like,

Oh my gosh,

That like breaks my heart to even think about.

But thinking that my worth came with my weight or from my weight or thinking that health equals thinness,

Which is not even remotely the case,

But thinking back to all those years I spent,

That's so much time and energy that I could have been using,

Putting into something that I was actually passionate about,

That I was excited about.

But no,

It was just constantly thinking about what I was eating,

What I did eat,

What I was going to eat,

How I could work it off.

So I consumed X amount of calories and now I have to go to the gym for two hours and burn more than that.

And that just constantly clouds your thoughts and sucks up all of your energy.

And you don't realize it when you're like really in the thick of it.

I never realized it.

And I spent almost 20 years like that.

And I never thought like,

Oh wow,

I could be spending my time doing something else because I was just so hyper-focused on reaching a goal weight that even when I was thinner,

Didn't make me any happier than I was worried about maintaining that weight and how I would maintain it.

Still constantly thinking about food and my body and working out even though I did not enjoy it.

I mean,

It's super important for us to exercise and move our bodies,

But we should enjoy it.

It shouldn't be a chore,

Especially now as a mom.

Like I can't add another chore to my to-do list.

I need to enjoy what I'm doing.

And I never had that before.

It was just,

How do I raise the calories that I ate?

What am I gonna eat tomorrow?

When did I fall off the wagon?

How am I gonna get back on?

And it is exhausting,

Exhausting.

Okay,

So what's interesting to me is you started your career as a hairstylist and you did that for about 10 years,

Correct?

Yes.

So how do you go from being a hairstylist to helping women just learn to get off that diet rollercoaster and discover their true potential and actually love themselves enough to go after it?

Yeah,

So I know it's kind of like,

I went from helping women on the outside because I think my job and my career as a hairstylist,

I mean,

I loved it.

I mean,

I enjoyed my clients and all of that.

And I was helping them feel better on the outside because let's face it,

We all feel better when our hair looks how we want it.

But yeah,

I had been at the same salon for almost 10 years.

I spent a good portion of that time in a lot of physical pain actually.

And I wasn't sure what it was.

I went to a bunch of doctors and I even went to one who told me he was mystified.

It was a hand doctor.

So now I had a lot of issues with my hands and it showed up in my day-to-day obviously doing hair.

And I was pretty discouraged,

Defeated for quite a while.

And then I mentioned something to my gynecologist actually,

My gynecologist actually,

Because she was one of the doctors I really trusted.

And she sent me like on this mission,

Like you will figure this out.

You can figure this out.

Like you're not crazy.

Something's going on with your body.

Like my body was fighting me basically.

So I went to a rheumatologist,

Found out I had rheumatoid arthritis.

And at that point the pain was so bad and affecting me every day at work.

Like I went from loving going to work to dreading it.

And I was 29 at that point.

And I loved my clients.

I loved having those conversations.

Like we got really close and really personal relationships built over time.

But I just,

I couldn't handle the pain anymore.

So I left.

And then three months later I got pregnant with my daughter.

So I decided that I wasn't going to start pursuing anything else at the time.

I was going to stay home.

And I remember saying to my husband when I got pregnant,

If there's one thing I'm going to do as a mother,

I am not going to give my kids my messed up relationship with food.

And I was super aware of it and knew how much I wanted to be out of it,

But didn't also know how to get out of it.

And I kind of stumbled upon it and healing my relationship with food and my body kind of accidentally.

My daughter is about eight months old and she was eating real food at that point.

And I'm standing in my kitchen while she's eating her homemade organic baby food because I was at home and I could do it.

And I was almost getting obsessive about what she was eating in a way to kind of deflect from my own issues that I was having.

I'm like,

Well,

If I can't control mine,

I can control hers,

Which also is a whole nother issue,

But I'm standing there and I'm eating an apple fritter for lunch.

And it clicked with me.

I was like,

Wait a minute,

She's eight months old right now,

But she's not going to be eight months old forever.

And someday she's going to look at me and wonder why I am so controlling over what she eats,

Yet I'm standing here eating donuts for lunch.

And at that moment,

I was like,

I have to make a change.

Like I have to care about myself as much as I care about her.

And at that point,

It wasn't about wanting to lose weight anymore or wanting to find the perfect diet.

It was just simply,

I need to treat my body better to set a good example for her.

And I mean,

We're all smart.

We don't need somebody to tell us that,

You know,

Eating more fruits and vegetables and maybe less processed food is going to be beneficial to us,

Right?

I think we all know that,

We just can't get to the root of why we don't follow through with it or whatever.

So at that point,

I was like,

All right,

I'm just going to start like cooking real food and stop eating donuts for lunch,

Really.

And then all of a sudden,

My arthritis started to feel better.

Oh.

Yeah,

And I was like,

Huh,

There must be something to this.

Even though I had restarted my medication,

Which I didn't,

I mean,

29 years old,

I was given like this life sentence of medication that could give me cancer someday.

Oh.

And it never sat well with me.

And I've always been one to question things.

So I started to feel better.

And a few months later,

I went to my doctor and mentioned my diet change to him.

And I was like,

Yeah,

I just kind of cut out processed food.

And he totally blew it off.

Just looked at me like,

Yeah,

No.

And I'm like,

But I've been researching omega-3s.

Do you know anything about chia seeds?

Like I remember saying to him,

Asking him about chia seeds.

And he looked at me like,

Are you crazy?

What are you talking about?

He's like,

Let's try this medication.

And at that point,

I was like,

Nope.

See,

Again,

I was starting to care about myself enough to question things,

To not settle.

I'm not sitting here saying that everyone should go against their doctor and stop their medication and all of that by any means.

But we do have this innate ability in our own body and minds like listen to ourselves and to trust your gut and your intuition.

And when something doesn't feel right,

Question it.

So I questioned it.

And then I just went full blown like,

All right,

I'm gonna cut out meat and dairy and all these things.

But again,

Not through a lens of wanting to be thinner.

I just wanted to feel better.

I wanted to take care of my body.

And I went basically fully plant-based with my diet.

And I never went back to that doctor again.

And that was like the start of it all.

And in the meantime,

I was like,

Oh my gosh,

This is the first time in my life.

I'm not counting calories.

I'm not thinking about food 24 seven.

I got rid of my scale.

I wasn't on a diet or thinking about food 24 seven.

I wasn't on a diet or thinking about a diet for the first time in almost 20 years.

And it all came from just wanting to respect myself more and to feel better.

I didn't care about what I looked like.

I just wanted to feel better mentally,

Physically,

Everything and to take control.

I felt so powerless for so long and gaining this control over my arthritis,

Over my diet.

And it wasn't like an obsessive control like I had experienced before.

It was just like,

Wow,

Okay,

I feel better.

So I kind of want to keep this going.

And even throughout that significant diet change,

I'm like,

I like pizza,

So I'm gonna eat pizza.

I don't want vegan pizza.

I want a regular old pizza.

I like ice cream,

So I'm gonna eat ice cream.

And I did.

And it didn't affect me one way or another.

I wasn't sitting here like being bad or feeling guilty because I was in control.

It was all on my terms.

I was figuring out what worked for me and my body.

And it was like the most empowering thing I had ever experienced.

And I'm like,

I need to help other people do this.

Whether you do have health issues that are kind of looming over your head or you just want to feel better or more in control,

Like getting off that diet rollercoaster and taking control of food,

The one thing that like held me back for so long was just like this,

Oh my gosh,

Now I can do anything.

And I want to help other women do the same.

I love that.

So,

I mean,

That's a lot in your story.

And I think so many people can relate to what you're saying,

Especially when you do,

Like I have a son.

I don't have a daughter,

But I could imagine if I,

Like even for my son,

I'm like,

I want to make sure that I'm eating healthy because I want him to eat healthy and stuff like that.

When it's not,

Like really when you do become a mom,

It kind of shifts that like you're saying,

Like instead of doing it for,

I want to wear the certain size of jeans for when I go out with my friends,

I want my,

You know,

To model and represent the behavior.

Plus it's also like,

I'm sure you also paid attention to what you were saying about your- Oh my gosh,

Yes.

And your body.

Yeah,

Tell me a little bit about that.

Like how you changed just your own self-talk and what you would say out loud,

Especially in front of your daughter.

Yeah.

I will say having a daughter,

I mean,

She totally changed me in so many ways,

But thinking about how I would speak to myself and about myself,

I was like,

If she ever thinks that way or speaks that way about herself,

Like I would just be heartbroken.

So I don't ever say,

Like she will never hear me say,

I need to lose 10 pounds or I look gross or this makes me look fat or I feel fat.

And just by making that like conscious effort to not say in front of her,

I've kind of just erased it from my self-talk.

And it doesn't even like cross my mind anymore.

And like I spent this whole summer without a bathing suit coverup,

Which I feel like for a lot of women,

That's like one of the staples you buy for the summer.

I'm like,

I don't,

Why,

Who cares?

Like it's not a big deal,

You know?

And just thinking again,

I have these little eyes watching me and listening to everything I say,

And I don't want her to ever attach her worth to her appearance.

And I've noticed since having a daughter that this pressure we have as women literally starts when we are babies and toddlers.

I bring her somewhere and it doesn't matter where we're going,

What she's wearing.

At least one person will say,

Wow,

What a pretty dress you have on.

Wow,

You're so pretty.

Wow,

What beautiful hair you have.

And you know,

You might not think anything of it,

But being her mom and knowing like,

I just don't want it to be all about her appearance,

It makes me work that much harder to not emphasize appearance.

Not that I don't tell her she's beautiful,

But she got to a point where,

Now she's three,

Little over three.

She'll ask me if she wears a dress.

Mommy,

Is my dress pretty or do I look pretty or will so-and-so think I look pretty?

And I'm like,

It's not about the dress,

It's about you.

It has nothing to do with the dress.

But this pressure,

But on our appearance starts that young.

And it's just been like this mind blowing thing to me.

Yeah.

Well,

Raising a daughter,

That like she's already thinking about her appearance.

And I mean,

It hasn't even gotten to the point where it's weight related or body related,

But this is where it starts.

And it only escalates.

I mean,

I heard statistics that little girls as young as six are saying they're on diets.

And to me,

That's like,

It's heartbreaking,

Really.

So if there's anything I can do to change the tides and bring it in the other direction,

That is my goal and my mission.

And I feel like reaching women ultimately trickles down.

It's a lot of,

Not that every woman is a mom,

But a lot of women are moms or will be moms.

And if I can reach the woman and then it trickles down and starts a ripple effect to help the younger girls and little girls not worry so much about their appearance so they can actually focus on bigger dreams and bigger goals in life and not worry so much about having the perfect outfit on or being the perfect weight,

Whatever that even means.

Yeah,

I know that's really,

Really good points.

And you know,

It's really interesting.

Have you,

Do you ever watch YouTube?

There's a show called the Women of Impact.

I have not seen that one.

Okay,

It's really great.

And so this one lady was on there and I'm blanking who,

Like which episode it was right now,

But she talked about how she's observed how even her friends or just people she knows how they talk to little boys versus little girls when they're toddlers and stuff.

And like little boys get like the more like,

Wow,

You're so creative,

You're so strong.

Look at you figuring things out.

You're so strategic,

What a leader.

And girls are more like,

Be gentle,

Sit there nicely.

You know,

All these sort of things where it's definitely,

And you know what is so interesting because my son is six and I mean,

He's never asked me,

Does his outfit look nice?

Do you know what I mean?

It's something that I don't think has ever crossed his mind.

And what's really interesting though,

Is that he has longer hair and everyone calls him a little girl.

They'll say,

Oh,

How are you young lady?

Like no matter what he's wearing,

Like he could,

Like he could probably have like body plaster that says,

I'm a boy,

I'm a boy.

Since he has long hair,

Everyone says,

Oh,

How are you sweetie?

And they'll treat him completely different when they think he's a girl.

And then as soon as I say,

He's actually a boy.

It's like a completely different shift in their just response to him.

They're not as soft to him or anything.

It's just so interesting.

And one of the things he's learned to do is,

So his nickname is Buggies.

And he learned to introduce himself as I'm boy Buggies because everyone would say to him,

He's a girl.

And he doesn't wanna cut his hair because he loves his hair.

And so it's part of that learning too.

Like just because other people expect you to be a certain way,

You be the way that feels good for you.

You know,

You wear what you want to and you have your hair how you want to.

And like,

I tell you,

Some people just go nuts that I let him have long hair,

But I'm like,

It's not life threatening.

Oh my gosh,

I bet.

You know,

Like he can have long hair.

It's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

My daughter wore last winter from about September to March.

She wore the same sundress every day.

Now I live in New England.

So that was winter and it was cold and snowy and she wore this same dress every single day.

And people were like up in arms about it.

I'm like,

I don't,

She can wear whatever she wants.

Like I have not picked out her clothes for her since before she was two.

I let her dress herself.

If that's what she wants to wear,

It's not gonna kill her.

Like it's cold out,

She wore a jacket,

She is fine.

There is no way I'm going to force her to wear something and fight that battle.

And I haven't cut her hair at all yet.

Whatever,

It's fine.

Like it's not gonna hurt anybody.

Why can't we just like let them be,

Especially with their appearance?

I love that your son doesn't want to cut his hair.

I love that.

Yeah.

And you know,

It makes me think too,

Like our responsibility.

So not even like if you have a mom or if you have a daughter,

I love how you're saying you're being really aware and you want her to know that her value isn't in her outfit or if people think she's pretty.

And so for me,

It's also,

How do I teach my son that?

Because I remember growing up in high school and even in college,

Like literally I had one boyfriend who'd be like,

Now you can't eat that much ice cream or make sure when you stand that you stand with your shoulders back so that your chest looks better.

Do you know what I mean?

So you know what I mean?

Like all these little things or I think you've had enough ice cream tonight or all these little things where it's like,

What are you talking about?

Like,

Why are you trying to put that on me?

But I was very lucky because I caught on.

And like,

So I'm one of those people who I can hear other people's mistakes and learn from them.

I don't have to make them all myself.

And I would hear all these older women that I would spend my time with,

Whether it was like friends,

Moms or whatever.

And they would always like,

When we were looking at pictures they'd be like,

Literally every single one of them would say,

I wish I appreciated my body then.

And all I did was criticize myself.

I just kept,

You know,

I kept thinking I had to be skinnier or firmer or this or that or whatever.

And I just wish that I would have appreciated how I looked and my body.

And so I took that in at like a young age,

At like 16.

And I was like,

Okay,

That's what I'm gonna do because I don't wanna look back 10 years from now and be like,

I wish I would have appreciated my body.

Like what would happen if I just appreciated it now?

And yeah,

So it's kind of been for me one of those themes that has been like a constant conversation with myself since I was 16 and I just turned 38.

So,

And like having a baby,

Your body changes and just turning 38,

Your body changes and like all of that stuff.

So just loving myself through the process and accepting my body because like my body shows up for me every day.

That's exactly like,

It's our vehicle through life.

Like where would we be without them?

Why like,

Why don't we have,

You know,

Respect for our bodies?

Yes.

When they do show up for us every day.

And I think that's amazing that you recognize that at such a young age.

Cause I was just having this conversation again with another friend,

The whole like looking back at photos and wishing you appreciated it then.

So I feel like all of my girlfriends will say that like,

Oh gosh,

I just wish I appreciated how skinny I was then.

And that's proof right there that there's something more,

There's something deeper to be worked on than just your weight.

If you can look back at that picture and remember that you weren't even happy then.

Yeah.

When you thought at the time,

That's the one thing that's going to make me happy.

And you're looking back and you're saying,

Gosh,

And I wasn't even happy then I wish I appreciated it.

That's like proof right there that it's something deeper and something more than just your body and your weight.

Like there's more at play there that you have to uncover and dig deep to just kind of figure it out and get to the root of it all.

Because we shouldn't be looking back and saying,

Oh,

I wish I appreciated it then.

We just need to appreciate ourselves now.

It's okay if you don't love your body all day,

Every day.

Like I think it's impossible for anybody to,

But appreciating wherever you're at,

Whether it be 30 pounds from now or when you were younger or whatever,

Just appreciating where you're at is going to dictate and drive the decisions you make that will affect your body.

So it's more for me about finding that appreciation and respect for your body and knowing that you might not love it every single day.

There might be things you want to change about it,

But knowing that it does show up for you every single day and that if you have had kids,

Like you've brought life into this world,

Like these are amazing things that our bodies are capable of.

And we need to figure out how we can get to that place of respect and appreciation for them.

Oh my gosh,

I love that so much,

Erica,

Because really we can't get through this life without our body.

So we need to be there.

And I love how you said earlier too,

Like the respect piece,

But that taking ownership of that,

That you are not going to be able to do that.

That you have to be the one who starts having this awareness and starts practicing this self-respect and appreciation and just,

I mean,

Loving what you do love about your body and appreciating the rest of it,

You know,

And that you're the only one who can take yourself on that journey.

Exactly.

There's no magic fix for it.

And there's,

You know,

You can spend all of your time wishing that it was different or your body was different,

But that's not going to do anything.

And when it comes from a place of,

You know,

Hatred and hate for yourself and your body,

To me,

It's just like hate just breeds more hate.

If that's what you're going to focus on,

That's what you're going to attract more of.

And you're never going to get out of that cycle.

You're always going to be looking for that magic fix if you just feel hate towards your body.

Whereas when you start to respect it and appreciate it,

That's what really like,

When I changed my diet,

It came from a place of respecting it.

Like,

Yeah,

I wanted to set a good example for my daughter,

But I was done like treating it like garbage,

Drinking too much.

I definitely drank way too much alcohol throughout my twenties doing the,

You know,

Restriction and binging and just eating food that wasn't serving me and then feeling guilty about it.

The change I made came from respecting.

I didn't love my body in that moment.

I wasn't like,

Oh,

You know,

I love myself so much that I'm going to make these changes.

I was just like,

You know what?

I need to respect myself more and figure out what that looks like for me and get the control back.

I think diets,

It just takes away our power.

And when you feel like your power has been taken away,

It affects every aspect of your life.

Yeah,

You know,

Erika,

That's a really,

Really solid point because it's like,

How can you go from feeling disgust or hate for your body,

For yourself,

To just loving every aspect of yourself?

That's like,

People are like,

Well,

It can't,

That's not going to happen.

So I'm not even going to start because that's impossible.

But you start,

Like,

It's very tangible to start respecting yourself and putting little things into place.

Because respect is actionable,

Do you know what I mean?

Where love feels like,

Well,

How is that actionable in some aspects,

You know what I mean?

For sure.

And I think,

Like,

I mean,

I'm thrilled to see all of the,

Body positivity and body love,

I feel like it's becoming more and more in the mainstream and in social media.

But I also think that when we are bombarded in a sense with the other direction of like body love,

Love your body,

On those days where you aren't quite feeling the love for your body,

Which we all have,

Again,

It could leave you feeling like,

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I love my body?

I should be able to love my body.

These people love their bodies and you get into that comparison trap and you feel like,

Well,

Why can't I just love my body?

It seems so easy for somebody else.

And it almost becomes just as detrimental in a sense because we can't all,

We're not going to love our bodies all day,

Every day.

Most of the time,

Maybe,

Yes.

But there are gonna be those days.

So that's where I try to focus more on the respect side of it,

Because even if you don't love your body one day,

You still can respect it and you still can take action that day to show your body respect.

Whether it be,

You go out and take a walk,

That's respecting your body,

Moving it because you can,

Or meditating.

That's something that really became big in my routine that I never thought I'd even be able to do.

But that's out of respect for my body.

Not necessarily because I love myself every minute of every day,

But yeah,

Respecting it is more actionable and it feels more attainable than the idea of just simply waking up and loving your body and being okay with it every single day.

Yeah,

Those are really good points.

And I know even for myself where,

You know,

I've talked about how I've learned really young to appreciate my body,

But as I'm getting older with the changes,

So many more freckles,

Especially since I live in Arizona,

I just moved back here in June and I'm like,

Oh my gosh,

I feel like a new freckle every single day.

And I was like beating myself up about it.

And even just a small shift of,

Instead of being like,

Oh great,

There's another freckle,

I was like,

You know what,

Welcome to my body,

Because it's your body now too and you're gonna be here.

I don't think you're disappearing,

So welcome to my body.

My leg is now also your leg.

So,

And it shifted the dislike I was having for the freckles that were starting to come on a daily basis from obviously being in the Arizona sun every day and I'm light skinned,

So freckles are part of the journey.

Yeah,

And yeah,

Shifting your perspective.

Again,

It's not something that necessarily happens overnight,

But the more you become aware of it and the more you can start like kind of catching yourself in those moments of wanting to be hard on yourself about something or dislike some part of your appearance,

When you're aware of it and you can kind of just catch yourself and start to shift your perspective,

It will eventually become your automatic response to it.

And for you,

Since you did make those discoveries so young,

Like it's more of an automatic response and it's possible to get there as soon as you become aware of it and as soon as you recognize like,

How do I wanna feel?

Do I wanna dwell on all of these negative parts of me or do I just wanna accept it and live my life?

I love that,

How do I want to feel?

Which reminds me of a quote that I saw on,

I'm not sure if it's on your blog or on your Instagram,

But I saw your quote that said,

Sexy is a feeling,

Not a look.

And can you talk about that a little bit more because I think as far as I know,

Every female I've ever met wants to feel sexy,

Maybe not all day,

Every day,

But there's moments in your life where feeling sexy feels just like it's this whole other energy that you can come into.

So can you talk about that a little bit?

Like sexy is a feeling,

Not a look?

Yeah,

That's how I was thinking like every woman at some point or another wants to feel sexy.

Every woman who has ever wanted to lose weight,

Part of them wants to lose weight because they want to be sexy.

And because of our pretty superficial society that we live in,

I feel like sexy has taken on this whole,

Obviously appearance based definition when really it's not necessarily the appearance we're looking for,

It's that feeling,

That feeling of power.

And if you wake up feeling sexy,

You're gonna be like,

Oh my,

I can just take on this day.

I can do whatever.

And again,

It's not about the look because it can mean something different to everybody.

Some people say they feel sexiest when they first wake up and they have no makeup and their hair's not done.

So it's a feeling and it's an energy,

Like you said,

That really is going to propel you through your day.

And I completely agree that every woman that I know at some point or another wants to feel that way.

They want to feel that.

I know like after I became a mom,

I found myself putting on makeup and doing certain things simply because I didn't want people to think I let myself go.

I had this fear like,

Oh,

Well,

Now that I'm a mom and a stay at home mom for the first part of my daughter's life,

Like if I don't look a certain way,

People are just gonna say I let myself go.

And it was actually in that moment that I decided to stop wearing makeup on a regular basis because I realized I wasn't wearing it for the right reasons.

I wasn't wearing it because it made me feel confident and sexy,

I was wearing it because I didn't want people to judge me and to think I let myself go.

And I realized,

I'm like,

Well,

I don't even need it to have that feeling of being sexy and powerful.

I don't need to hide myself with the makeup anymore.

Not to say I don't like putting it on from time to time,

But I was literally like dreading every day when I had to put it on and it was for all the wrong reasons and I'm like,

I don't need it to be sexy because it's a feeling that you can have and you have to define that for yourself.

You have to figure out what makes you feel best in your own skin and ultimately that's what's sexy.

And that's what's gonna give you that power over how you spend your time,

What you pursue in life and just how you look at your day and what outlook you have for the day.

So I did a whole series on my Facebook page of redefining sexy.

It was three weeks.

I love that.

And it was basically like sexy is standing up for yourself,

Stuff like that and sexy is being bold and making bold decisions and respecting yourself enough to go after what you want and things like that had nothing to do with appearance.

So I wanna evoke that energy and that feeling in you and encourage you to find what it means for you.

It doesn't necessarily mean photo shoots and lingerie.

If that's what makes you feel sexy,

Then great,

Go for it.

But dig deep and think about what it means for you so you can have that feeling and that energy to carry you through your days.

I love that.

So you can tap into it at any time.

Not like you don't need the lingerie to tap into it.

You can tap into it like as you're going into a board meeting or whatever,

If you wanted to.

For sure.

Yep.

Okay,

I love that.

And then Erica,

Can you share a little bit about why your approach lasts versus a fad diet?

Yes.

Like I was saying earlier with diets and the whole feast or famine,

When you finally stop focusing so much on the food and the number on the scale,

And you start recognizing all of these other things in your life that maybe you've been ignoring or have been put on the back burner and you didn't even realize it,

When you start kind of gaining control of them,

You start to feel more in control of everything.

And when you get out of that feast or famine and that diet mentality and that feeling guilty,

And you can start enjoying life and enjoying food again,

Your body will just kind of naturally fall where it needs to fall.

And like I said,

I changed my diet pretty drastically.

I haven't necessarily,

I don't want to say I haven't stuck to it,

But I've definitely incorporated foods that I had cut out and whatever based on how my body feels,

But I was still eating food that I enjoyed and not worrying about it.

I didn't gain weight.

My weight wasn't yo-yoing anymore.

It was just finally like,

Oh,

Just live,

Just be,

And focus on the things that really excite you.

So when I work with clients,

Yeah,

We touch on the food,

Because I want to get in there and really figure out where it's all coming from for you.

Like for me,

How I said,

Thinking back to elementary school and just a lot of experiences I had getting picked on and all that stuff to really figure out where it's coming from and where your desire to reach this goal weight is coming from and clear all that up and move past it all and leave it in the past.

So you can really focus on what is actually important to you now.

You may think that reaching your goal weight is so,

So important to you because you've just never thought about anything else.

And then realize that,

Wow,

I'm not that happy in my job.

Maybe I want to start pursuing something else.

And life just kind of opens up for you.

And then you're free.

You're free to do what you want.

You're free to enjoy food.

You're free to enjoy life.

Because I mean,

Food is necessary,

Obviously,

For survival.

And to spend your whole life fighting something that's necessary for survival,

You're gonna be defeated or feel defeated at some point.

And that's no way to live.

And you should be able to have birthday cake if that's what you want and not worry about it and get that power back.

Because once again,

Once you have that power back over food,

It opens everything else up and you never want to look back.

You never want to give that power away again,

Especially not to a fat diet.

That is a solid,

Solid point.

I love that how it gives you a sense of freedom and that you're in control of it and not the other way around.

And we do need food to live,

Right?

Like if you don't eat,

You don't live.

Okay,

So Erica,

What does this session.

.

.

So you kind of went over a little bit about like the focus of a session,

But what does a session look like for you?

Is it online?

Like if somebody was interested in having a session with you,

What would they expect?

Yep,

I do all of my sessions virtually,

Video though.

So we'd see each other face to face because I think it's very important to have that know,

Like,

Trust factor and to get to know this person being me that you're opening up to and that you're trusting so much.

So it's all done virtually.

So you can be sitting in your living room,

On your bed,

Whatever works for you.

And it's all about you.

It's all about the client.

It's not about me.

I'm just here to hold space,

To guide you,

To give you a really safe place,

To explore things that you may never have thought about.

You may have been too embarrassed to talk to anybody about,

Even your best friend,

And know that you're safe and you can explore that.

Cause once you start getting it all out,

It's amazing what you can really truly uncover.

But so many times we just lack that really comfortable,

Safe,

Understanding space where we don't feel judged to be able to do that.

And that's what I offer my clients,

A nonjudgmental safe place.

I mean,

I was a hairstylist for 10 years and people used to joke with me like I was their therapist too.

Cause that's what I wanna do for you.

I wanna allow you to open up and get it all out there.

Know that whatever you're telling me,

Goes no further.

And whatever you need for me,

You can be open and honest about.

And we work through it together.

It's like,

I wanna be your friend,

But also your guide.

And know that you can trust me and know that I've been there too.

And I know how it feels and how disempowering it can feel.

And then I've made it to the other side and I know how empowering it is and I want nothing more than for as many women as possible to experience that same feeling of empowerment.

I love that.

And just empowering people and that freedom that comes with it.

And I feel like you're a lot about the feeling too.

Like you want people to feel really good and enjoy their life and face the pain points and move through them and get to the good stuff and just acknowledge that they're worthy of all of that.

Absolutely.

And that even when you do work through it all,

There's still gonna be bad days.

You're still gonna have struggles.

Nothing is ever perfect and it's okay.

And it's okay to feel your feelings and to not feel like you have to hide them or fake it till you make it.

Let yourself have those feelings because if you don't,

They'll come up again eventually.

Somewhere else,

Some other time,

They will come up again.

So the best thing you can do for yourself is to just work through them all and to recognize them and know that it's okay.

And it's okay to have a bad day.

And it's okay to have a past or a history that you might not be super proud of,

But you can always learn from it and you don't have to stay stuck in it.

You can move forward whatever way you want.

And I think clearing up a lot of that stuff allows you to move forward and forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself and whatever may have happened or any person,

Anybody that's dealt with their weight,

I'm sure,

Or weight issues or body issues,

Have those people in their past.

I know I do.

Ex-boyfriends,

Kids in school,

They have said things that stick with you.

I dated a guy who,

One of the first things he said to me was I broke up with my last girlfriend because she got fat.

Now I stayed with him for two years.

And me now,

Never.

But I can't be mad at myself for who I was then and for putting up with that.

I can just forgive myself,

Learn from it,

And move on.

And acknowledge that that happened and not carry it with me forever.

So forgiving ourselves and these situations in our past is huge and it's okay.

And it's okay to feel everything around it and break down and get it out.

Because then you can finally move on and you're not carrying it with you forever.

Yes,

That's a really good point.

And I know you said earlier that you got rid of your scale.

So I'm curious,

When you took your scale out of your house and you got rid of it,

Was there a part of you that had fear around that?

A little bit,

Yeah.

Because it's something that I lived by for so long and it's something that I let dictate my day for so long.

You step on a scale and it's like,

Oh my gosh,

I'm up two pounds and it would ruin my entire day.

So yeah,

Getting rid of it was like,

Should I actually be doing this?

Should I really be doing this?

But I honestly,

I have never wanted it back.

That's awesome.

Yeah,

And I don't have that pit in my stomach going to the doctors.

You either avoid going to the doctors or you dread it because of the scale.

I don't know how many women I've heard say that.

Some won't go to the doctors because they don't want to get on the scale.

And I don't.

It is what it is.

It's just a number and it will no longer define my day,

My life,

Or my worth.

I love that because the scale,

We need to take back the power from the scale like you talk about,

Like empower yourself.

It's,

If you want to have a scale,

It's a tool.

It's not a measurement of your self-worth.

It's just something to give you some feedback if you want,

Like a data point.

But other than that,

It doesn't have any more power than that.

So take that power back.

And that's what people do.

And it doesn't even dictate how you are health-wise.

I mean,

I know I've said in the past,

Oh,

I need to get healthier.

I didn't even really know what that meant,

But in my mind,

I was justifying whatever diet I was going on or whatever attempt to lose weight because I wanted to get healthier.

But that number does not dictate health by any means.

You could be eating a super healthy diet and living a very fulfilling life and not fall into society's range of what your ideal weight should be.

And you could be perfectly healthy or you could be thin and extremely unhealthy.

It's about deciding what's more important,

What's happening on the inside or how you look on the outside.

And the scale doesn't dictate that or give you that information.

It can be a tool like you said,

But other than that,

It's not.

Yeah,

My husband,

He's definitely one of those people who the BMI frustrates him so much because his BMI is always higher.

So it puts him in the obese category even though he's a really healthy guy.

He eats healthy,

All the points where you'd go to a doctor for health,

He's got.

But he can't get insurance because his BMI is too high or all these things and it's something that he's battled with his,

I don't know,

Adult life where he's like,

It's so frustrating.

I wish the BMI didn't even exist.

So I bet,

I totally agree.

And that's gotta be frustrating.

And the BMI that,

It's what?

Based on your height and your weight,

Right?

And that's it?

Yeah.

And to me,

It's like,

I don't,

I'm pretty sure most of my life I've fallen into the overweight or obese category of that as well.

And it just really,

It doesn't take into account your actual body composition or your body in general.

And for so many things to be dictated by that,

It's super frustrating.

And I can only imagine how frustrated he's gotten by that,

Knowing that he is healthy.

Yeah,

For sure.

It's definitely something that frustrates him.

I think your age is also included in it.

It's like height,

Weight,

And age or something like that.

But he's like,

Oh,

This is so frustrating.

Okay,

So I'm curious with going through all of this,

I'm sure at some point in time,

You had to identify a limiting belief that you had and you had to work through it.

And you had to get to a point where you felt that you are able to start your own business and push past those limiting beliefs and those fears that,

And that fear of doubt,

Like you can't do this,

What are you doing?

You can't run your own business,

Silly.

So how did you push past that fear,

The self doubt,

And start shifting your limiting beliefs into empowerment for yourself?

That's a good one.

Yeah,

I mean,

We all definitely have self doubt,

Limiting beliefs,

And especially when you start talking about entrepreneurship and starting your own business,

I just really had to get in tune and get in touch with what was really important to me.

So my goal and my passion to help women became way more important to me than the fear I was experiencing surrounding it.

So I don't think it's possible to be fearless by any means.

And I think we all should feel that fear,

Feel it and do it anyways.

But just getting really focused on my why,

Which was this passion to help other women and help my family as well,

And being super focused on it,

Writing it down,

Keeping it visible,

Journaling about it,

Writing it on post-it notes where I could see it and reminding myself.

So on those days where I was feeling like I wasn't enough or that I couldn't do it,

Or when the fear of it just started taking me to the next level,

It just started taking over,

I was constantly reminded of my deeper why and my mission and know that I do have something important to offer the world.

And it is okay for me to acknowledge that and it's not conceded in any way.

And it's important to be okay with that and to push back all of those feelings of not being enough.

And just,

Yeah,

Staying super focused on my why and literally writing it down and having it in front of me.

It's one thing to think about it and it's another thing to write things down and have it in your face every single day to be reminded of it.

It can totally reignite any fire that might be going out because you're like,

Oh my gosh,

Who am I?

What am I doing?

Who am I to tell other people what to do?

Or I'm not enough or I haven't figured out all of my own stuff.

Just know that we're all human and we're all in this together,

Really.

And to not let that fear take over for too long.

It's okay if you have a day where you're like,

Oh my gosh,

I wanna curl up in a ball.

I'm scared,

I don't wanna do this anymore.

It's okay to have those days I've had plenty.

And those are the times where,

Again,

I step back.

I take some time for myself and reevaluate everything and always come back to my why and my passion and my greater mission.

I love that.

That's really a solid tip.

Have the fear,

Experience the fear and do it anyway.

Because if your why and the mission and what you want to accomplish and who you're gonna help are going to pull you through that fear and you're gonna make it through it.

And fear is just gonna be part of the process like when you go outside and there's a shadow,

It's just gonna be there,

But you can still go forward.

Exactly.

I love that.

Okay,

So when you think about,

Just kind of think about the first thing that comes to you,

But what do you think is underrated?

Oh,

Underrated.

Mental health days.

Tell me more.

So you get sick days,

Right?

When you work.

I remember as a hairstylist,

We didn't even really get those.

Like there was no such thing as a paid sick day.

So you typically just worked and I would work and be like,

Oh,

It's just allergies,

Even though I was sick,

Which is terrible.

But mental health days and knowing that you don't have to pretend that you're sick to take a day off from work.

Like your mental health is going to determine a lot of things in your life,

Right?

It's gonna determine how well you do at work,

How well you show up for your family.

And ultimately it's about taking care of you first.

If we're not taking care of ourselves first,

We can't take care of anything in our lives.

So I think that mental health days should be like a standard and a given.

And as an entrepreneur,

You know,

You have the luxury of being able to do that.

Although I know we also want to work all day,

Every day,

But I have no,

In my own journey,

Have recognized the days where I'm like,

You know what?

It doesn't matter what I have on my to-do list.

I need to step away.

I need to do something with my family.

I need to do something by myself.

And I come back completely recharged and remotivated.

So yeah,

I think mental health days are totally underrated.

Like we shouldn't be working to exhaustion or depletion.

That does,

You know,

Nobody any good.

Right,

That's counterproductive.

And those mental health days would probably prevent people from having sick days also.

Exactly.

Right.

Yep.

I believe when my husband was working for Intel in Oregon,

He had,

It was like personal days.

So you could take personal days for,

And you didn't have to give a reason at all.

You're just like,

You know what?

I'm taking a personal day.

I need this day for myself.

And it was like,

Okay,

You know,

You got so many of those and then you got so many sick days and he loved it.

Like,

He was like,

This is amazing.

Like,

You know,

If I just am not feeling it today,

I don't have to go in and nobody,

He didn't get punished for it at all.

It was just expected.

It was part of the Intel culture.

So.

Yeah,

And how many people have like a bunch of vacation time that they don't use for whatever reason?

They feel guilty or,

You know,

They think like work is gonna suffer without them there.

It's like,

No,

Use that time.

Like love it,

Use it whenever you need it and don't be feel guilty about it.

Cause everything,

Work,

Family,

Home,

Everything will be so much better when you take that time for yourself.

Yes,

I love that.

I love that that was your answer because it's so much truth and I think it gets overlooked a lot.

So thank you for that answer.

And Erica,

What is something you wish everyone knew?

Well,

First thing that comes to my mind is that diets aren't necessary.

And you'll always be stuck thinking you need to go on one or looking for one in that it is okay.

It's okay to give yourself permission to stop dieting and to trust yourself.

Mm,

I love that.

Trust yourself and it's okay to stop dying.

Give yourself that permission.

Mm-hmm.

And then is there an experience that you think like you would recommend,

You think,

Oh,

If most people had this experience,

It would be very beneficial to them.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh,

That's a tough one.

I wanna think of like a good experience,

But my mind is almost going to,

If you have a bad experience like I did with my doctor and how it actually helped me get control instead of leaving my health and my health and my health and my health and my health in the hands of somebody else.

Again,

I think doctors are necessary and modern medicine is amazing,

But I think we put a little too much faith and trust into it.

Again,

Kind of taking our power away.

Okay.

And when you have an experience like that yourself,

You realize that,

Wow,

I actually know more than I thought I did or I am more capable because I have people in my life that have never had any type of real medical issue or negative experience with a doctor that they still live and breathe by what their doctor says.

And again,

I'm not anti-doctor by any means,

But they're only human and they're only trained for specific things as well.

And again,

We're giving our power away to so many different things that when you do have an experience when it comes to your health,

It can light a fire under you to really take control and make your life better and to feel better and to kind of live by the,

You know what,

I'm grateful for all of this.

I'm happy with what's happening and I'm gonna move forward how I want to.

I think that is a solid answer because it's really having an experience that allows you to develop personal responsibility in a way that had you not had that experience,

You may have never come to the opportunity to really jump in and know the power behind being responsible for different aspects of your life.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

And do you currently have an exciting project that you're working on?

Actually,

Yes.

Well,

I have current,

Well,

I am nine months pregnant right now,

I should say,

But I've been working on this really awesome new program for women,

A one-to-one experience that I will ultimately make a group experience,

Which I'm very excited about because I think there is power in community and knowing that you're not alone and that there are other women going through the same things you are.

But I also,

For people who are local to me,

I just started planning with a photographer I know who is starting these women's empowerment photo shoots.

Ooh.

Yeah.

And her idea too was of redefining sexy and for women to really feel powerful and in tune and in touch with their body,

How they want to be.

But we're going to plan something for the new year,

A retreat.

It'll be local in New England,

But I'm really excited about it,

Just a way to get women together to get that energy,

To get that feeling of empowerment and to know that no matter what stage of life you're in or what season of life you're in,

We can all come together and we've all had and share similar experiences and that power of the community and coming together and knowing you're not alone because I think so many times we just,

We feel alone in our struggles and feel like we're the only ones going through it or something must be wrong with me because of how I'm feeling.

So bringing women together and ultimately that's my goal with my group experience that I am currently working on as well,

Just to bring us together and to know we're not alone.

And to cultivate these really positive,

Uplifting relationships because that's another huge part of having a fulfilling life,

Positive relationships and surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good.

Again,

It's all about the feeling.

So currently while I focused on my one-to-one work,

I am ultimately creating a group experience that really,

Really will bring women together.

I love that.

That retreat sounds fantastic and that will eventually be up on my website.

Yeah,

I'm excited.

Yes.

Yeah,

We actually just the other day got together to start talking about it.

So yes,

Once we get more details ironed out,

That will be up on my website,

But it'll probably be in the next four to six months.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Well,

And you're nine months pregnant,

So you probably want a little bit of time to bond with your baby and just get you that new reality with having two kiddos.

Would it be two kiddos?

Yes,

It will be.

Yeah,

And all of that good jazz.

So that makes sense.

But in the meantime,

You also provide one-on-one coaching,

Correct?

Yes.

Yep.

One-on-one,

Again,

All virtually through video so it can be super convenient for any woman anywhere.

We don't have to be local and we don't have to even be in the same time zone.

Love it.

And so if somebody is resonating with you or has a friend that thinks would really benefit from having you in their life,

Where can they find you?

Where can they contact you?

You can either head to my website,

Which is simply www.

Aircabile.

Com or you can find me on Facebook.

Again,

Just my name,

Erika Biel,

Or on Instagram.

And my Instagram handle is Erika Z Biel.

But you can head right on over to my website,

Fill out a form,

Contact me,

And yeah,

Join my email list.

I send weekly bits of inspiration and tips and stories.

I'm very open in sharing my own stories.

As a way to,

Again,

Let women know that they're not alone.

So if you're interested in any of that,

Facebook,

Instagram,

Or head on over to my website,

Www.

Aircabile.

Com.

I love that.

And your website is so beautiful,

As I mentioned to you when we were talking about you coming on.

Thank you.

The podcast,

It's so well done.

And I think any lady who goes out there and looks at it,

She's going to feel loved and welcomed from the very beginning and that you get it.

You know where she's coming from and you know parts of the journey.

And even though her journey will be different than yours,

That you're going to be able to be a place to hear her and see her and walk with her through it.

So as like a team,

It's like you're working together with her as a team versus you already know exactly what she needs.

You're letting her be a part of that process.

Absolutely.

I'm here to guide you and be your friend and your confidant and your mentor.

I'm not here to tell you what to do.

I'm just here to help you figure it out along the way and know that you do have a safe place.

I really appreciate that about my website.

That's exactly how I want people to feel and women to feel when they visit it.

So that means a lot to me.

Thank you.

Oh,

Yes.

You're so welcome.

Okay,

So I hear you mention that part of the process is like you're a friend,

But I'm curious.

Does that mean that you're a friend that is honest though as well and will hold people you're working with accountable to something that they say they want and that sometimes that means you may have to,

You know,

In the process of holding them accountable,

Sometimes you have to,

You know,

Do a harsh truth that may be uncomfortable in the moment,

But it's there for their greater good of what they're saying they want to work on and accomplish.

Absolutely.

I mean,

A big part of what I am here for is to hold you accountable.

And I think in friendships,

Like we're doing our friends a disservice if we are just telling them what they want to hear or not helping them through the hard stuff or maybe,

You know,

Not pushing them towards the hard stuff,

But I'm not going to,

You know.

Yeah,

You know,

I'm not going to just tell you what I think you want to hear or watch you get in your own way because I'm afraid of hurting your feelings.

Like if you're truly ready,

Then you got to be ready for all of it.

And I think that's what a good friend does.

We're honest,

Right?

Otherwise,

I'm not sure I'd want to call you my friend unless you're going to be totally honest with me.

I love that.

I love that.

And sometimes,

Like you said,

We get scared to be honest because we're scared of hurting somebody.

But I think that also discredits us when you really think about it because do we think that we can't handle truth?

Do we think that we can't handle the hard stuff?

Like it might not feel good in that moment,

But you can handle it.

Like no one likes to be called out on something they're doing or not doing that's either that's harming them or taking them further away from their goal.

But at the same time,

When we can have a space where we say – And it's a very loving way too.

I'm sure when you approach those difficult conversations,

It comes from a place of love and support and of wanting to see the people you're working with get to where they want to go or even your friends in your life,

Right?

And I love how you said even pushing them to the hard stuff,

Right?

Yeah.

Grow to expand.

Exactly.

And ultimately,

Like if you're friends and you have a friend,

You want to see them succeed in whatever it is that they're trying to do.

And that means pushing through the hard stuff.

And that means getting called out on things that are going to maybe hold you back.

So if ultimately as a friend you want to see that person succeed,

You're going to have to.

You're going to have to do that and you're going to have to be honest.

And yeah,

Have faith to know that we can handle the truth.

You can handle the truth.

And you don't need it just to be all fluff and pat you on the back.

And you're great and amazing.

That's necessary too.

But to get to wherever you're going,

You got to get through the hard stuff.

Yeah.

You need the whole package.

Okay,

Erica.

Last question.

What is one piece of advice that you've received from somebody else that you play in the back of your mind,

Like just throughout your life or since you've heard it?

Two.

That's a good one.

Two.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Two.

I don't want to say to lead by example,

But to embody my truth and to embody what it is I am so passionate about helping other women succeed in.

And I think that's a really important part of my life.

I love that.

I love living the message.

And I remind myself that every day because there are those hard days and there are those days where old habits start creeping back.

And living by that every single day.

I love that.

And the first part of that was embody your truth.

Yes.

That's really good.

That's a great piece of advice.

And Erica,

I just want to thank you so much for your time and just the loving energy that you put out there and the gentleness but the strength that comes behind what you're about and how you really want to help women just step into their power and to live the life that is on their hearts that they're withholding from themselves.

You know?

Yes.

So I just appreciate your time and thank you for sharing your message.

Thank you so much for having me.

This was wonderful.

I feel like I could just sit here and talk about this stuff for hours on end.

I love it.

And thank you.

And thank you for providing this space for me to share my message and,

You know,

Hopefully inspire women to yeah,

It's time.

Take your power back.

Really unleash your true potential and see where it takes you in life.

So good.

I love that.

And I believe that people will be reaching out to you and seeking your guidance because once we know somebody else has done it,

It opens up a new path for us.

Absolutely.

I know it's that whole if they can do it,

Why can't I?

You know,

It's inspiring and motivating and I think we all have those people in our lives that we look up to and are inspired by and it humbles me to know that I can be that for somebody.

That's so good.

I love that.

Thank you.

It just feels good to know that there's someone out there doing the work that you're doing and talking about these hard conversations and it's not the popular idea to go with just respecting and loving yourself and give up the fad diets,

Right?

It's not the popular thing to do,

But it's the needed thing to do.

It's the conversations that need to happen.

Definitely.

For sure.

Well,

I hope you love that episode and that today you'll start looking at yourself in a new way with eyes of appreciation and taking the steps for personal responsibility of treating yourself in a respectful way.

We teach other people how to treat us and oftentimes that is by how we are treating ourselves.

And if you have little eyes on you,

It's really important to find a way to step into respecting your body and how you treat yourself in whatever way that means for you.

And if Erica was really resonating with you and you would like to work with her,

You have an opportunity to win one 45-minute individual coaching session with her and you can enter that on Instagram by DMing Erica at erikazbeal with a takeaway from the episode and why you'd like to work with her.

And Erica will pick a random winner and will let you know if you've won through Instagram.

So she'll send you a DM.

The winner will be selected on September 30th.

And as I've mentioned,

Erica will let you know through Instagram who has won the 45-minute individual coaching session with her.

So thank you so much for joining us today,

For listening to the episode,

For giving your feedback.

If you haven't yet,

Please leave me a review,

Giving me your feedback,

What you would like to see more of,

What you're already loving.

And you go out there and have a beautiful day.

Appreciate your body because it's shown up for you.

You can't get through this life without it.

Find a way that feels good to you.

Just start respecting it and know that you're enough right now as is and the world needs you.

I'll talk to you next Tuesday.

Bye!

Now go out there and create your best life.

Bye!