Self-Kindness

Kindness toward oneself is the foundation of growth and well-being. This meditation practices the cultivation of kindness for self based on the Buddhist practice of metta, or lovingkindess, with the aid of visualizing a caring being across from you, sending you love and care.

Transcript

For this meditation on cultivating self-kindness.

I'll invite you to begin by imagining that there's a seat in front of you and into that seat you can invite a being that's easy to care for,

A relatively uncomplicated relationship,

A being in whose presence you have a sense of well-being that might be a human being.

It also might be a non-human being like a pet or a plant or even potentially a location where you feel at peace.

It might be a being that is alive.

It might also be a being that's no longer alive as long as your sense of their passing has been resolved within you.

Or it might be an historic or religious figure that you resonate with or even an unworldly being such as a fictional character or an angel.

Once you've invited this being into the seat in front of you,

Simply beginning by noticing what it's like to be in their presence,

Noticing the feelings in your body.

Perhaps there's a sense of openness or warmth or lightness in the chest.

Perhaps there's a sense of relaxation in the mind or perhaps a sense of ease in the entire body or maybe even a sense of uplift.

However you perceive this sense of well-being,

Beginning to imagine that you can direct your breathing through the sensations of that sense of well-being.

And much like you would blow over a flame in order to help it grow,

So too as you are breathing across the sensations of well-being in your body,

However they're manifesting,

Inviting those sensations to begin to grow both in intensity and in size,

Feeling more and more of your body.

You might invite the body to soften some so that there's more space for these sensations to move into,

To grow into.

And when you feel ready,

You can begin to let the sensations of well-being overflow beyond the boundaries of your body so that you begin to offer a sense of care to this being across space,

Perhaps across time,

Sending care in their direction and sensing that they can receive your care,

That they can open to it,

That they can be touched by it.

And then seeing yourself through their eyes,

They send that care back and you sitting where you are now receiving it as best you can,

Softening to let it in,

Letting their care touch you as close to the core of your being as you can,

And letting there be an offering of care back and forth,

Following the rhythm of care like the waves on the ocean or the rocking of a cradle,

You offering care,

Them receiving care,

Them returning care,

And you receiving it back.

You can intensify this sense of care by offering this being some wishes of care.

I'll offer you a few phrases,

Try them on if they make sense in this particular relationship.

You might offer this being,

May you be at peace and at ease.

May you be truly kind to yourself and take good care of yourself.

May you experience a sense of aliveness and joy and may you become freer and freer from all the ways you get stuck in life.

May you be free.

And now inviting this being that is easy to care for to move off to the side,

To remain present in support.

And now into the empty chair,

Inviting some version of yourself that you're most able to bring kindness to.

It could be yourself as you are now,

It could be yourself as a younger person,

Or even potentially as an older person.

As you invite this version of yourself into the chair in front of you,

As best you can maintaining that same felt sense of care.

You might notice it start to attenuate or shut down,

Honoring that that's absolutely normal if it does.

If you find that sense of care kind of starts to close down,

Turning your attention to towards the being that's easy to care for.

Re-engendering that felt sense of well-being and the offering and receiving of care until it starts to be felt in your body again.

Breathing through the sensations of that care,

Inviting them to become more and more established in your body.

And then once again,

Turning your attention towards this being that is some version of yourself sitting across from you.

As you continue to breathe through the sensations of care and inviting them again to grow both in intensity and size.

At some point,

Letting this felt sense of care overflow the boundaries of your body and sending this care towards this version of yourself sitting across from you.

Sensing that that care can be received,

Can be let in.

And then that version of yourself sends care back and you sitting where you are now,

Softening to receive it.

Letting this offering of care back and forth gradually grow as you get used to the experience.

Once again,

You might intensify this experience of offering care to this version of yourself.

You might offer this being,

May you be at peace and at ease.

May you be truly kind to yourself and take good care of yourself.

May you experience aliveness and joy and may you become freer and freer from all the ways you get stuck in life.

May you be free.

And as you continue to practice with the offering and receiving of care,

Bringing this being that is some version of yourself into your own body as you're sitting here now,

Where they are truly a part of you.

And at this point,

You might offer yourself a gesture of kindness,

Such as putting an open hand of your chest and letting the warmth of that hand sink in.

And as you continue to offer out care,

Let that care come right back in.

Following the warmth of that hand,

Breathing care out,

Breathing care in,

Letting yourself soften even more and being touched even more deeply by your own care.

And you can begin to offer yourself some wishes of care.

May I be at peace and at ease.

May I be truly kind to myself and take good care of myself.

May I experience a sense of aliveness and joy and may I become freer and freer from all the ways I get stuck in life.

May I be free.

And taking the last couple of minutes of the meditation and simply practicing with this sense of offering care and receiving it right back,

Practicing until you hear the sound of the bell.

Reviews

I really needed this meditation today. I have lost my family and the grief and guilt is nearly unbearable. However, doing your meditation and finding love for myself, makes it easier for me to show compassion and love to those who have hurt me, unless of course it leads to my oppression.

Thank you 🙏🏼 Beautiful meditation to practice self care. I love the approach of reciprocal care.

This is what the doctor ordered. Thank you 🙏🏽

Beautiful guidance of metta practice! Thank you Stan! 🙏🏾☺️🌷

Thank you very much for this wonderful metta meditation that was so full of kindness and appreciation. Namaste 🤓🙏🏻

Blessings Stan