Things Change

Venerable Thubten Chonyi from Sravasti Abbey gives a short talk and guides a meditation on how we can pay attention to impermanence in our daily lives, so that we can welcome change with a mind that is calm, centered, and accepting, rather than responding with shock and fear.

Transcript

I'm intrigued by this topic of impermanence.

I quite like thinking about it,

And so I'm tickled to have an opportunity to share that and do some meditation with it tonight.

Especially this time of year.

You know,

I imagine most people,

Unless you're in South Florida or Los Angeles or maybe southern Arizona,

But most people in North America are quite aware of the phenomena of impermanence in the middle of October.

You know,

The air starts to change,

The landscape changes quite a bit,

And you know,

It's the return to winter and productivity time for most people.

That may not be completely universal,

But it's a beautiful example of how things change.

And that's something that we just want to talk about why we should think about that,

Why we should really notice that,

And how to cultivate an awareness that really serves us.

How making friends with impermanence will actually help make our lives a little easier to live.

But let's start with some breathing meditation just to bring ourselves from the end of the day into this setting,

This time together.

So wherever you are,

In whatever your meditation contraption is,

If you're on the floor,

Of course,

With your legs crossed as best you can.

If you're in a chair,

Put your feet flat on the floor so that you can really connect with the floor.

And the main thing,

Wherever you are,

Like if you're on a couch,

The best thing to do would be get towards the edge of it so that you're sitting up straight with your spine straight.

Shoulders level.

You can tuck in your chin just a little bit to get a stretch in the neck.

Lips closed.

In our tradition we have our hands in the lap,

Left on the bottom,

Right on the top with the thumbs touching like so.

If you have another tradition that you're trained in,

That's fine too,

But that your arms are relaxed.

But also firm,

Right?

The posture is firm,

Straight up and down,

Like a mountain.

And also very deeply relaxed.

Eyes lowered.

So leave some light coming in,

But unfocused,

So that you're not distracted by things in front of you.

If you're in front of your computer and that email indicator light is on,

You might want to turn it off.

Get yourself in a situation where you can really turn your attention inward,

Which is where meditation takes us,

Right?

In.

And so first bring your attention into the room that you're in.

Not traveling the universe,

But right in this room.

Right here.

Right now.

And then bring your attention to your own body.

We'll start with a little scan.

So bring your attention to the bottoms of your feet.

If you're on a chair,

Really feel the sensations of your connection with the floor.

If you're on a cushion,

Feel the sensations of your tush on the floor,

Or the cushion.

And just without really probing and for sure without looking,

See if you can,

With your senses,

Discern where your feet or your rear ends and the cushion or the floor begins.

So even in our sensations,

It's not so much that we're an isolated,

Separate,

Discrete unit.

And just feel the sensations in your feet.

Lower legs.

Upper legs.

Being aware of the movement,

If there's any discomfort,

Breathe into it.

Any tension,

Soften and let it go.

Move your attention up into your hips.

And up your spine,

Vertebra by vertebra,

Starting at the bottom,

Moving up and adjust a little bit as you need to,

To find a place of supported straight back,

Soft front.

Places where you notice tightness or tension,

Discomfort,

Breathe into that and let it go.

And then you can move your attention up the front of the body.

Lower belly,

Diaphragm area,

Up into your chest.

Being aware of any sensations.

And that can be muscular or even deeper sensations in the organs.

And if you notice any tightness,

Tension,

Discomfort,

Gently breathe into that and let it soften.

And then move your attention into your neck and throat.

And then move your attention into your neck and throat.

Jaw,

Muscles of the face.

Be aware of tension in these areas.

You might let a little smile come up,

Just a little half smile,

Not a big grin.

A Mona Lisa smile.

It softens the muscles around the mouth and the eyes.

Maybe lifts our mind a little bit.

And then take your attention all the way up to the crown of your head.

Noticing any points of tension,

Tightness,

Discomfort.

If you find any,

Breathe into it,

Soften,

Let it go.

Now that we're more settled in our bodies,

We can turn our attention to our breathing.

Just notice what's there.

No need to change how you breathe.

Just being aware of the in-breath,

The out-breath.

Space in between in-breath and out-breath.

Notice how the body moves as you inhale.

Notice the sequence of movement as you exhale.

Experience the sensation of breathing as you inhale.

The space in between.

And as you exhale.

And let this gentle movement of the breath be the place you come home to over again in your mind.

Maybe it's quite pleasant to breathe in this way.

And maybe there are other feelings that arise.

Just notice.

Bring your attention back to the breathing itself.

We'll do this for another minute or two.

And let's set a motivation for our time together.

Just recalling that with every breath,

With every moment,

We can already see the change in ourselves.

Moment by moment by moment,

Things,

People,

Ideas,

Situations change,

Change,

Change.

We experience it as does every other being.

In part,

It's this very quality of change that allows us to develop our good qualities,

Our good heart,

Allows us to take on the things that challenge us and move forward.

So as we take this Dharma daily gathering time together tonight,

We can imagine extending all that we learn and all that we experience to be not just for our own benefit,

But that through the ripple effect,

The goodness that we create,

Affects beings around us,

Even far afield.

So that through our practice,

May all beings realize the nature of impermanence and use that deepening wisdom to cultivate their good hearts and to help others.

This is seed for our own full awakening and for the awakening of all.

It's so evident when we stop for a minute that with every single breath,

I don't know about you,

But for me,

Every single breath,

You can feel like the body changes.

The mind is changing.

And in a context like this,

It's very soothing.

It's kind of delicious in a way to sink into that,

Bringing more peace through observing the breath.

One aspect of this quality of impermanence that I find very,

Very useful to think about is that when the Buddha taught the Four Noble Truths,

In this very first one,

That cyclic existence,

The world we live in,

Is not 100% hunky-dory.

We live in a situation of unsatisfactoriness.

We live in a situation where we're subject to our own minds going nuts,

We're subject to things arising,

Problems coming,

Whether we want them or not,

All based on our own actions in the past.

We're subject,

Inevitably,

To aging,

Sickness,

And death,

Now that we're born.

So nobody likes to think about those things,

Really.

But one of the things that the Buddha pointed out is that one of the reasons we suffer is because we cling to things that are in the very nature of impermanence as being permanent.

So if we think about it all,

You think,

Well no,

I don't think this thing is permanent.

But if it broke,

And it had some meaning for me,

I would be shocked.

I might be hurt,

I might be angry,

I might be sad.

But that's kind of the Buddha's point.

He said that this is in the very nature to change.

So this is not so meaningful to probably most people,

But when we look at our relationships when they change,

We're shocked.

When our mother's beautiful,

Stuping glass mouse breaks,

We're shocked.

When people die,

We're shocked.

When there's an earthquake,

Again,

Again,

Again,

When there are situations that are outside of our control and unexpected,

Change.

Why are we shocked?

Because we've grasped things as though they were going to stay the same.

That's the way we perceive it.

It looks solid,

It looks unchanging,

I don't see anything changing about this cup.

I can't perceive it with my senses.

But the fact is,

The cup is changing moment by moment,

And someday it will be in a lot of pieces.

It could last a very long time or not a very long time,

That we never know.

And so one of the antidotes to that clinging is to actually familiarize ourselves with this process of change.

I mean,

I think it's hard to argue with.

If we just think for a minute,

What has been some of the biggest suffering of our lives?

Why do we grieve over losses?

Loss of career,

Loss of job,

Loss of people for sure,

Loss of pets,

We lose our house.

I mean,

There is this many levels of emotion there,

But one of them is we don't expect things to change.

We just don't expect it.

And the more I've thought about this over the years,

The more I think,

Duh,

My whole life experiences that things change.

And yet,

The surprise that comes when things do change,

Continues to be a source of pain.

So for just a few minutes,

And we'll do this again in a couple of weeks,

And I want to stay with this same theme,

But one of the ways to start to help ourselves let go a little bit is to get familiar,

As I just said.

And so I want to walk us through just some ways to start thinking about it.

It's not like we have to take on visualizing or imagining big catastrophic things that will get us used to it.

It's very simple.

Very simple things.

Like,

Bring to mind someone that you've known for a long time.

Probably better if it's not somebody you're really close to,

Like your own child,

But a cousin,

Or a childhood friend,

Or somebody like that,

That you've known for a long time.

And just reflect for a moment,

Since you've known that person,

Physically,

How they have changed.

Childhood,

Teenager,

Young adult,

Just bring to mind.

So among the things you might notice besides the obvious different size of the body,

For example,

Is the fluctuation in weight.

For some people,

Different changes in hair color,

Haircuts,

Hairstyles.

How their thinking manifests in their appearance over the course of however long you've known them.

Think about how that person's complexion changes with the season,

Perhaps.

You've seen them in snow.

You've seen them on the beach in heat.

And see if you can imagine them into very old age.

Changing,

Changing,

Changing.

And then the direction as we think about this is to end each reflection with this thought.

How remarkable is the impermanence of these entities.

How remarkable is the impermanence of this person.

So the point is that it's something we actually live with,

We see every day,

But we don't really see it.

We don't really notice.

The way impermanence is happening,

This is a very gross level observation,

Right?

Very gross level changes.

But it can only happen at a gross level because it's happening at a very subtle level.

Moment by moment by moment by moment.

It's not like,

Well,

It's not like the person is a toddler for a while,

Stays exactly the same,

Then all of a sudden,

Boom,

They're ready for kindergarten.

They look like they're six for a long time and then boom,

They look like they're 12.

Doesn't happen that way.

How else could it happen?

Only by little incremental changes every single moment,

Going on all the time.

So this series of reflections comes from one of the great Indian saints,

Asanga.

So it's 17 or 18 hundred years old.

No,

Asanga,

Fourth century.

Anyway,

It's old.

They have the same issues with change.

Two thousand eighteen hundred years ago.

Eighteen thousand eighteen centuries ago.

And his advice is to take this reflection and look at people,

Our own lives,

Look at our neighborhood,

Look at how things change over a period of time on the street corner that you're most familiar with.

The shops change,

The sign changes,

The shutters fall off the building,

The owner changes,

They get a new sign.

Somebody sweeps the street,

Somebody dumps popcorn all over the street.

It changes moment by moment by moment.

And when we start to pay attention,

Then we begin to develop a familiarity with this inevitable phenomena.

It is how things are.

And we stop hanging on so tight that we get more used to it.

So that when big changes do come,

We've developed a familiarity and we can welcome them.

So that's probably enough for tonight.

Reviews

Thank you for the skillful guidance on this topic. In the midst of a tumultuous time in USA politics it is helpful to remember that nothing is solid and permanent and even in the midst of uncomfortable change we can still practice the Dharma and stabilize our minds. 🙏

Most grateful. Thank you.

Love the style and content. But. Ery abrupt ending.

Excellent 💮

Very well done. Thank you 🙏

Great dharma talk, an awakening moment, our mistaken view that things will last forever, they don’t. Helps loosen the grip on attachment. Loved the metaphor of recalling my childhood to what I have become today. As if my parents were speaking to me, the way you look like we looked like the way we look like you will become! Blessings!

Nicely done, thank you.

Inspired a sense of equanimity and calm, perhaps a bit of sadness too but I suppose that's part of the realization.

5 stars. Meditation followed by a talk. Enjoyed the guidance and the talk.

Only a few hours after this meditation did a profound, calm acceptance allow me to let go of so much grasping for security where only change actually exists and now I feel so much lighter. Thank you🙏🏽

Thank you 😊 wonderful 🙏🏻💗

Very gentle and caring. Well presented. I enjoyed centering to pay attention to change. Thanks! 🙏

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Changes loom large in my life right now.

This meditation is quite illuminating❗️

My first ever meditation. It was very relaxing, thank you!

Great meditation, great talk. Namaste, thank you.

Very wise words