Meditation On Exploring If Anger Is Useful

In this meditation, Ven. Sangye Khadro explores whether anger is useful. After a guided relaxation and silent meditation on the breath, her guided analytic meditation: (1) invites us to recall an experience of anger, (2) examine whether we felt the anger was justified, (3) question whether we need anger to recognize that someone's behavior was wrong, (4) see how recognizing harmful thoughts in our own mind helps us recognize others' harmful actions, (5) note how anger clouds and agitates our mind, and (6) observe that with a calm mind we can assess a situation better.

Transcript

So,

It's always good to have a clear idea of what our motivation is for doing the things that we do.

That helps to kind of steer or guide our energy in the things that we do.

And we'll ensure that the outcomes,

The consequences of our actions will be as beneficial as possible for ourselves and others.

And so we always try to generate an altruistic motivation for doing the things we do,

Especially when it comes to meditation,

Learning,

Spiritual teachings,

And so on.

It's really important that we try to have the most positive,

Meaningful,

Beneficial motivation we can.

And if you're familiar with Bodhicitta,

The aspiration to become a Buddha,

A fully enlightened Buddha to benefit all living beings,

You can bring that into your mind and have that as your reason,

Your motivation for being here and doing this meditation we're going to do.

If you're not familiar with Bodhicitta,

Then you can use whatever thoughts,

Ideas work for you,

Help you to have an altruistic motivation.

For example,

The prayer we just recited,

The Four Immeasurables,

That expresses really beautiful thoughts and wishes,

Wishing everyone to be happy,

To be free of suffering,

To have joy that's without any sorrow,

And to be free of bias,

Attachment to some,

Aversion for others.

So if any of those thoughts,

Those wishes rings a bell,

Feels comfortable for you,

You can bring that into your mind and think something like,

Well,

Yeah,

I really do want to help others be more happy and less unhappy,

So may I learn something in this meditation that will contribute to that,

Will help me to help others bring more positive energy into the world.

So just take a few moments to think about why you're here and really do your best to have a positive,

Beneficial motivation.

And then let's take a few more minutes to try our best to be really settled down in the present and in a comfortable position.

So when we meditate,

Whether you're sitting cross-legged or you're sitting in a chair,

It's good to keep your back straight because that helps the mind to be more clear and focused,

Awake,

Alert.

Other than the back being straight,

The other parts of the body should be as relaxed as possible.

So let's do a little body scan,

Check if there's any tension anywhere in the body,

And if we do find any tension,

To try to release it,

Let it go.

So start with the top of your head,

Feel the top of your head,

Relax any tension you may have there.

And then move your awareness down into your forehead,

Let your forehead relax,

Let go of any worry lines there may be in your forehead,

Just let it be smooth and relaxed.

And then feel your eyes and let your eyes relax,

All the muscles around and behind the eyes,

Relax all the other muscles in your face.

We have many muscles in our face we use when we talk and make facial expressions,

But right now we can let those relax,

Including your mouth and jaw,

Let go of any tension in those areas.

And then relax the right side of your head,

And the back of the head,

And the left side of your head,

And then relax the inside of your head,

The brain,

Which is often very busy thinking about things.

So if there's any tension inside of your head,

In your brain,

Or any other parts of your head,

Just do your best to let them go,

So that the whole of your head,

Inside and outside,

Is as relaxed as possible.

And then move your awareness down into your neck,

Relax your neck,

The back of your neck,

Front of your neck,

Inside your throat.

Continuing down,

Relax your shoulders,

And the upper part of your back,

It's an area where we sometimes get tense,

Especially if you're working on a computer.

Then let your awareness continue traveling down your back,

Relax the muscles in the middle part of your back,

The lower part of your back,

All the way down to your seat,

And let the whole of your back be as relaxed as possible.

And if you're not able to let go of all tension,

If there's still some tension left,

That's okay,

Just do your best to release,

Let go of tension.

And then move your awareness to the front part of your body,

Starting with your chest,

Relax the chest and what's inside the chest,

Lungs,

And heart.

Continue with your awareness going down through your torso,

Relaxing the various organs and muscles in the diaphragm,

The abdomen,

Down to the pelvic area.

If there is any tension anywhere,

You can just imagine that it melts and flows out of you,

Sinks into the earth below,

Or disappears in space.

Now relax your right leg,

Starting with the upper part of the leg,

And then the lower part of your leg,

Then your right foot,

Including ankle and toes,

And then move over to the left leg,

Starting with the upper part,

Relax your upper thigh and left leg,

And then the lower part of the left leg,

And then left foot,

Ankle,

And toes.

Then shift your awareness to your right arm,

Starting with the top,

Relax the upper part of your right arm,

And then the lower part,

And then right hand and fingers,

And then shift your awareness to the upper part of your left arm,

Relax that,

And then the lower part of that arm,

And then your left hand and fingers.

So do your best to keep your body as relaxed as possible for the remaining time of the meditation.

If tension does pop up anywhere in the body,

You can briefly put your awareness there and just let it go,

Tell yourself to relax.

Now turn your attention to your breathing,

Become aware of your breathing,

And do this without controlling your breath.

Some people find that hard to do,

But try to just let your body breathe on its own.

It knows how to breathe,

You don't have to control it.

Just let your body breathe as it normally does.

And then with your awareness,

Just in a sort of light way,

Be aware of the breath as it's coming in and going out.

You can find your own way of doing that,

Wherever you want to place your awareness,

Where you can feel the breath most easily,

Clearly.

Just place your awareness at that point,

And then be aware of each breath coming in,

Going out,

Coming in,

Going out,

And so on.

And you might want to try counting your breaths,

It's optional,

You don't have to,

But it can be helpful to just keep your attention on your breath.

So one way of counting is to just say to yourself,

Breathing in,

Breathing out,

One,

Breathing in,

Breathing out,

Two,

And then keep counting.

If you're new to meditation,

Just count up to five,

Then go back to one,

Keep counting in rounds of five breaths.

If you're more experienced,

You may want to count up to ten,

And then go back to one each time.

So again,

That's optional.

If you're able to keep your attention on your breathing without counting,

Then that's fine.

The point is to stay with the breath as much as possible,

And whenever your mind wanders away,

Like you hear a sound,

Or a thought pops up,

Something you have to do later,

Or something that happened earlier today or yesterday,

So it's completely normal that thoughts come up when we're meditating.

We can't stop that from happening.

But we can notice the thoughts and say,

No,

Not now,

Now I'm meditating.

We put this thought aside and go back to the breath.

So each time your mind wanders away from the breath to something else,

Just notice that,

Let it go,

And come back to the breath.

And be patient with yourself.

It isn't easy to do this.

It takes time and perseverance,

So just keep doing it,

Being kind and patient with yourself.

And now for the analytical part of the meditation.

See if you can remember the last time you felt angry,

But try to do this without getting angry all over again.

So try to do it in an objective way,

As if you're standing outside of yourself and looking at the anger without actually experiencing it.

And it doesn't have to be an incident where you acted out your anger with words or actions,

Maybe it was just thoughts running through your mind.

So see if you can remember that.

And then once you have recalled that incident,

See if you can detect whether or not you have any sense of thinking anger is justified.

It's right,

It's correct to be angry.

Like in that situation where you felt angry,

Was there also a sense of,

Well,

I'm right to be angry,

I should be angry,

It's good to be angry in this situation.

So probably everybody does feel their anger is justified,

At least in some situations.

And if we have that notion,

That it's right to be angry in certain situations,

Then we won't try to do anything about our anger,

And instead we might just continue feeding it,

Nurturing it.

So it's good to look at why we think anger is justified.

So one idea mentioned in the book,

And this is what some people think,

Including specialists in the field of mediation and conflict resolution,

Is the idea that we need anger in order to know when someone else's behavior is wrong and unacceptable.

So what do you think about that?

Does that ring true in your own experience?

Do you think you need anger in order to know that another person is doing wrong,

They're doing the wrong thing?

If you didn't have anger,

You wouldn't be able to recognize that.

So if that idea was true,

Then people who don't have much anger,

Like spiritually evolved beings,

Or people who have no anger at all,

Like fully enlightened beings,

They would not be able to recognize harmful behavior in someone else.

They would see everyone's behavior as the same.

For example,

Whether a parent is being loving and compassionate and kind toward their child,

Or if they're treating their child in a violent,

Harmful way,

That they would think,

Oh,

It's completely okay for that parent to harm their child.

They wouldn't see anything wrong with that.

So does that make sense?

So what we learn in Buddhism is that beings who have advanced levels of insight and wisdom are very much aware of what kind of behavior is positive and beneficial and what kind of behavior is negative and harmful.

And one reason for having such awareness is that right from the beginning of our spiritual journey,

We start developing that kind of awareness with respect to our own behavior.

This is a really important part of our own personal practice,

Training ourselves to stop doing what's harmful and do what is beneficial.

And with this training,

You become super sensitive such that you can recognize even little inklings of thoughts that pop up in the mind of doing something harmful.

And then you learn to stop those thoughts before they have a chance to turn into actions.

So we watch ourselves,

We watch our own body,

Speech,

And mind with this awareness of what's helpful and we try to do what's helpful and beneficial and we also know what is harmful and we try our best to avoid doing what is harmful.

So we train ourselves with respect to our own actions of body,

Speech,

And mind and that makes you very sensitive to the behavior of others so that you can easily recognize when someone else is acting in an afflicted,

Harmful way.

So see if that makes sense that when we practice mindfulness,

Carefulness with regard to our own actions of body,

Speech,

And mind,

Then we can easily recognize when someone else is doing something harmful or about to do something harmful.

But this doesn't mean being judgmental towards others and treating them in a harmful or condescending way.

We also train ourselves to be patient and compassionate towards others and then look for ways that we can help them,

Help them get out of that harmful mode of being.

So what this means is that we have other aspects of our mind,

Other mental faculties that enable us to recognize when someone is behaving in an inappropriate or even harmful way that we don't really need anger to be able to recognize that.

Often it's just a question of common sense.

And also anger clouds our mind,

Makes our mind agitated and sometimes irrational so we can't think clearly and determine a reasonable course of action.

Sometimes we act irrationally and harmfully when we're angry.

And on the other hand,

If we can keep our mind calm and clear and discerning,

We'll be much better at assessing a situation and determining what would be wise and skillful ways of acting that will be helpful to everyone involved.

So as a conclusion to this meditation,

See if you can understand the value of checking whatever thoughts and ideas or beliefs you have about anger,

Things you've learned,

Read,

Heard,

Or what you've come up with on your own,

So that your approach to working with anger will be wise and skillful rather than deluded and unhelpful.

Okay,

So let's just mentally dedicate the merit,

The positive energy of doing this meditation just as we had an altruistic intention at the beginning,

Wanting to benefit others.

Let's mentally share the positive energy we've created with others.

May it bring benefit,

Peace,

Happiness,

And a reduction of anger.

There's too much of it around.

May everyone learn the benefits of working on their anger,

Overcoming their anger,

And learning to be more kind and compassionate and patient.

Reviews

Thank you for your teaching and wisdom very helpful:)