So I'd like to lead you in a short meditation on equanimity.
So just take a comfortable sitting posture.
Focus on your breath.
Begin by calling to mind a neutral person,
A stranger,
But someone specific who you've seen recently,
But you don't really know.
It could be a neighbor or someone at the post office,
UPS driver.
Think of someone specific.
And notice the feelings that arise as you call this person to mind.
And then ask yourself,
Why do I feel this way about this person I label a stranger?
What are your reasons based on?
When did this person become a stranger for you?
Would everyone see this person as a stranger?
Or is this label subjective and changeable?
Doesn't this person want happiness and want to be free of suffering,
Just like me and everyone else?
In that regard,
Aren't we all the same?
And given beginningless cyclic existence,
Isn't it possible that this person has been my father,
Mother,
Sister,
Brother,
Dear friend,
Many times in previous lives,
And also my worst enemy?
Don't I depend upon this person to develop good qualities like loving kindness,
Compassion,
Bodhicitta?
So is it appropriate to hold others close and dear and help them,
But not this person?
Is it appropriate to continue being indifferent?
What would it take to remove the indifference I feel towards this person?
So imagine for a moment having an even-minded equanimity towards this person without any attachment or hostility,
Without any indifference,
And imagine how that might feel.
And then call to mind a friend or someone you're fond of,
Someone very dear to you,
And try to think of someone specific.
And notice the feelings just by calling them to mind.
And ask yourself,
Why do I feel affection towards this person?
Why do I find them appealing?
And just check if those reasons are valid.
Are they just based on this one short life?
When did this person become a friend to you?
And would everyone see them as a friend?
And then just check,
Do I have attachment for this person?
Do I exaggerate their good qualities above and beyond what's there?
Do I have unrealistic expectations of them to make me happy?
Am I clinging to them or their friendship in some distorted way?
Could I still love them and want them to be happy without attachment?
And from their side,
Doesn't this person want happiness and want to be free of suffering just like me and everyone else?
And given past lives,
Hasn't this very dear person been a stranger in most of those past lives and also my worst enemy at times too?
Just because we can't remember past relationships doesn't negate their reality.
So is it really appropriate to hold this person unequivocally closer than others and to help them more than others?
So imagine having an even-minded equanimity towards this person without any attachment,
Without any exaggeration or clinging.
And then call to mind an enemy or a difficult person,
Someone you feel uncomfortable around,
Someone who pushes your buttons.
See them very clearly and just notice the feelings that arise calling them to mind.
And then ask,
Why do I feel aversion or anger towards this person?
When did this person become an enemy for me?
At what point?
Given the Buddhist perspective,
Are my reasons valid for hating this person?
Would everyone see this person as an enemy like I do?
Or is this label subjective and even changeable?
Doesn't this person want happiness and want to avoid suffering just like me and every other living being?
And given past lives,
Isn't it likely that this person has played the role of my mother,
Father,
Sister,
Brother,
Dear friend,
And been a stranger countless times?
Don't I depend on this person to develop good qualities like patience,
Loving kindness,
Compassion?
So what would it take to remove the aversion I feel towards this person?
Imagine having an even-minded equanimity towards this person without any hostility,
Without exaggerating their negative qualities and wishing them harm.
How would that feel?
So having examined our own experiences in this way,
See if there's any conclusion that you'd like to draw about seeing others as friends,
Enemies,
And strangers.
