Identifying True Happiness (And Avoiding False Happiness)

Imagine yourself on a cloud observing the activities below you. How many of the actions you see do you think are driven by the wish for happiness and the desire to avoid suffering? Probably all of them. But do we know what brings us happiness and avoids unnecessary suffering?

Join Venerable Thubten Chonyi for this meditation teasing apart true sources of happiness – like ethical behavior and wisdom – and the eight worldly concerns in Buddhism – material possessions, praise, reputation, and sense of enjoyments. This is a practical analytical meditation that can help you observe what motivates your daily actions a little more closely.

Transcript

So,

This is our meditation session and today we'll be doing a little bit of stabilizing meditation and then we'll spend a good long time on analytical meditation on the Eight Worldly Concerns.

There was the question about what does it mean to let go of this life.

And what that means is to look at how we cling to the happiness of this life in false objects.

The problem is not in the object,

It is that we are clinging,

Desperately clinging and chasing with the expectation that happiness is going to come from that thing outside of ourselves.

That's what tangles us up.

So do not be confused for a moment that happiness is not okay.

Happiness is very much,

You know,

We're all seeking it and His Holiness even says we all have a right to it.

So that's not the issue.

What we're looking for here is not something wrong with the object or something wrong even with our experiencing pleasure.

But what's painful,

What creates pain for us and it's hard for us to see is our clinging to these things.

So that's the point of this meditation.

Things like our loved ones,

Our friends,

Our enemies and wealth,

Even our bodies.

That's the clinging and that's what we're going to meditate on.

We'll do a short motivation,

Do some stabilizing meditation and then go to the analytic or checking meditation on the Eight Worldly Concerns.

And then reconnect with the motivation,

Thinking of the benefits that come from meditation for ourselves,

Of course,

But to make that motivation so much bigger,

To think,

Can I do this?

May I do this session for the benefit of living beings and may it create the cause for myself someday to realize my full potential so that I can really help to relieve the suffering of all beings.

Then bring to mind all the qualities especially of compassion,

A compassion so,

So fully developed that it reaches out to every single being bar none,

Recognizing both the lovability of that being and seeing its challenges,

Its difficulties,

Its suffering.

The compassion that wishes fervently to remove that suffering.

So bring your attention inside your own body.

Being aware of yourself in this space,

Physically,

Your feet flat on the floor or your tush on your cushion or your seat on a chair,

Bringing your attention to your body and then more narrowly to the breath rising and falling,

Observing the sensation of the inhale and the exhale and allowing that to bring you present to this moment.

Then check your meditative posture,

Check that your spine is straight,

Hands in the lap,

Left on the bottom,

Right on top with the thumbs touching in your lap up next to your belly,

Shoulders level,

Chin tucked just a little,

The tongue behind your top teeth,

Lips closed,

Eyes lowered,

So that your body is relaxed,

Comfortable,

But also alert,

Firm.

And firm in the intention,

Now we're going to meditate.

Now is a time to focus our attention.

So from the quiet of our mind,

We'll now turn our attention to look at these eight worldly dharmas or eight worldly concerns.

It's a rock bottom and a universal truth that every single living being,

Whatever form,

Is in a continual pursuit of happiness and or avoiding suffering.

And that's something to investigate over and over to reinforce for ourselves that that's really true.

And there's no reason in the world why we wouldn't pursue happiness and avoid suffering.

And the problem comes because we're so confused about what actually brings happiness.

What's the source of happiness?

And what is the cause or the source of our discomfort,

Pain,

Suffering,

Unsatisfactoriness?

That's our confusion.

So this teaching from the Buddha and the reflection on it helps us get a clearer picture about those things.

The eight worldly concerns are the chief distraction to our dharma practice and to transforming our minds as well.

So it's important to know them and think about them.

They are presented in four pairs and we'll look at each of the pairs for a few minutes.

First I'll go through them all.

Attachment to receiving material possessions and the aversions to not receiving them or to losing them,

Being separated from them,

That's the first one.

Gain,

Loss.

The second one is attachment to praise,

Approval,

Sweet words,

Aversion to blame or disapproval.

The third one is the attachment to a good reputation,

Which is like having a good image,

Having people think well of us,

And then an aversion to a bad reputation.

And fourth is the attachment to the pleasures of the five senses.

Beautiful visual objects,

Beautiful sounds,

Nice smells,

Lovely tastes,

Wonderful sensations of the body,

And aversion to unpleasant sense experiences of these five senses.

So we'll start with the attachment to receiving material possessions and the aversion to not receiving them or being separated from them,

Losing them.

That means money,

That means house,

Car,

Boats,

Clothes,

Fine things of all kinds.

So just reflect for a moment how you experience these things in your life.

Is this kind of thing,

Material possessions and money,

Is that important for you?

Not important for you?

How have you lived your life in relationship to these?

So we'll look at this very generally first.

And narrow that a little bit to think about what kinds of material things you are most inclined to chase after,

Whether it's to work hard to make a lot of money or lots of shopping to acquire specific kinds of things,

A real fondness for cars,

Whatever.

Notice which ones more specifically are you generally attached to,

And then look,

Is this attachment,

Have I spent time pursuing this at what cost?

And has this object,

These objects,

Really made me happy?

Think about that.

If so,

How?

How long did it last?

If not,

Then look at that.

Did this contribute to my confusion or really bring me lasting satisfaction and contentment?

And then what about the flip side,

The aversion to losing or not receiving these material possessions?

There's a pain that comes from not getting what we want,

And then there's the pain of losing when we have.

How have we experienced that feeling of loss of material possessions in our life?

And notice,

Too,

The relationship here.

Can you see that the more attached we are to something,

To an object or to the wealth,

The more pain there is when we lose it.

So sort of a mini-conclusion we could draw for this section is to make a determination to keep looking at this,

And also to examine how we can be more balanced in our relationships with material possessions in our life.

And then we'll move on to the second pair,

Attachment to praise or approval and aversion to blame or disapproval.

That includes hearing people say nice things about us and really hating to be criticized.

Praise and blame,

Those are the two pairs.

So again,

Think of specific examples of how this attachment to praise or approval,

How that plays out in your life.

What kinds of things you've done to receive praise and approval?

Does it make you happy,

Really,

When you receive it?

And how long does that happiness last?

And what's your reaction when you receive the opposite,

Disapproval,

Blame,

Or criticism?

And again,

It's good to notice that the more attached we are to something,

The more painful it is,

The more aversion we have when either we don't get it or we lose it.

And make a determination to take a look at the role of praise,

Blame,

How we crave one and hate the other.

Be aware of this and make a determination to have a balanced relationship with regard to these two.

We go on to the third pair,

Attachment to a good reputation and aversion to a bad reputation.

This sounds similar,

But it is different from attachment to praise and approval and so forth.

We want people to think well of us,

And that's whether we want to have a good reputation in the Dharma Center,

A good practitioner,

We want to be known as a good baseball player if that's our thing,

We want people at work to have a good opinion of us and our capability or whatever.

So it's the reputation,

Not so much the direct praise,

But this idea that,

When it comes to me,

People think well of me,

Have good things that they hold in their mind about me,

And I don't want them to think negative things about me.

So again,

Generally,

How is this in your life?

Is this something you've worked hard for,

A good reputation?

What have you done to get it?

What kinds of things have you done to clean up a bad reputation?

How much happiness has come from this pursuit?

Or how much pain from chasing it?

Just generally take a look.

And again,

Take a look and see that the more we're attached to something,

The more we crave it,

The more aversion or pain there is when we don't have it.

And so make a determination to keep an eye on how these pairs of worldly concerns,

Attachments and aversions work in our life,

And try to have a more balanced relationship to our reputation.

And then we look at the fourth pair,

Attachment to the pleasures of the five senses,

And aversion to unpleasant experiences of the five senses.

So again,

That's visual objects,

Wanting beautiful ones and not liking to see ugly things,

Craving beautiful sounds and not liking unpleasant ones,

Chasing after beautiful scents and smells and having aversion to nasty smells,

Seeking the pleasure of delicious tastes,

Having aversion to unpleasant tastes,

And seeking comforts and pleasures of the body,

Soft touch,

Soft fabrics,

Pain-freeness,

And having aversion to unpleasant sensations,

Physical sensations of the body,

Any kind of discomfort,

Itching,

Scratching,

Irritating things to the body.

So examine how much energy we put into the pursuit of these things in our life in general,

And what fruit has that energy brought forth.

Now analyzing the pleasure,

Analyzing the discomfort of the other,

Did it last,

Was it meaningful,

Just look.

And again,

Notice that the more attached we are to having these nice sense experiences,

The more pain there is when we either lose them or can't get them.

And I think it's good to remember again that it's not the pleasure itself that we're questioning,

Nor is there any problem with the object,

The beautiful music,

For example.

It's in the clinging for it,

Craving for it,

What we'll do to get it kind of mind,

The attachment mind,

And then the aversion that comes when we can't get what we're craving for,

That's what causes our problems.

So make a determination to keep an eye on this attachment and aversion pair to see how they get in the way of our pursuit of genuine happiness,

And make a determination to have a more balanced relationship with the sense pleasures of our life.

I want to end this reflection with a little thing written by Lama Zopa Rinpoche that I find very helpful.

Imagine yourself floating high,

High,

High,

High,

High above your hometown on a fluffy cloud.

It's very peaceful,

Very quiet.

You look down at all the people below you and just notice how they are conducting their lives.

So we're not doing this from a judgmental point of view,

But just compassionately and with equanimity observing,

Just observing what people are doing,

How they're spending their days.

So we see people running here and there,

Walking here and there,

Driving here and there,

Doing things that are extremely important,

Doing things that will make them happy,

They think,

Doing things that need to be done,

And how much of all that coming,

Going,

Doing is driven by seeking for wealth,

Material possessions,

Trying not to lose it,

Seeking praise,

Approval,

And trying not to get blamed for something,

Building up a good reputation,

Avoiding a bad one,

Or seeking some delicious thing,

Some beautiful thing,

One wonderful thing,

Some sense of pleasure,

Or avoiding the unpleasant ones.

How much of our daily activities of beings are in pursuit of these eight worldly concerns,

And how much do any of them bring lasting happiness?

How much do they bring the opposite,

Unhappiness,

And how much do they bring confusion,

Just to living beings in general?

And then,

From our place on the cloud,

You can watch your own life,

And check up and see how much we are propelled through life by our pursuit of the eight worldly concerns.

Even during our meditation time,

Where does our mind keep turning?

So this kind of reflection is what we talk about when we say that practicing the Dharma is swimming upstream,

Because the whole flow of our society,

The whole flow of our culture,

Almost everything we've ever been taught,

Is that our happiness comes from pursuing these objects.

And so,

We need to analyze,

Is that a true story?

For the time being,

We can make a strong determination to pay attention,

To learn the antidotes to attachment,

To learn the antidotes to anger,

To focus our attention more directly on developing our ethics,

Developing our bodhicitta,

Our heart of love and compassion,

And cultivating wisdom as a real source of happiness in this world,

And so that we can be of benefit to others.

And in so doing,

We create the causes to be liberated from cyclic existence altogether.

And we can rejoice at taking this time together with a big community of practitioners,

A community of practitioners wishing to understand how to cultivate our potential,

How to overcome the things that bring us fear,

Discouragement,

Anger,

Pain,

Frustration,

How to make our lives meaningful,

And how to be of benefit to others.

So rejoice in that,

And we'll dedicate.

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