Compassion For Friends, Enemies, And Strangers

Venerable Sangye Khadro guides a meditation on cultivating compassion for the different groups of people we categorize as friends, enemies, and strangers based on how they relate to us. In doing so, we expand the scope of our compassion and develop equanimity for all beings.

Transcript

So we'll do a meditation on compassion.

Compassion meaning the wish for people and beings to be free of suffering.

And there is a lot of suffering in the world right now.

I mean,

There's always a lot of suffering.

It's not nothing new.

But we're very much aware of this suffering because of the news and social media and so on.

And so there's different ways we can respond when we do hear about suffering or see suffering and counter suffering.

We can get depressed about it and feel overwhelmed,

Want to run away.

Those kind of responses aren't helpful.

They're not helpful to others and they're not helpful to ourselves.

And fortunately,

There is a more effective response and that is to generate compassion and have compassion in our hearts and then respond in a compassionate way to the suffering of others.

And that's much more satisfying for ourselves and also more beneficial for others because then there's a greater chance that we will actually be able to do something to bring about a relief of suffering.

So I thought we'll do a meditation on compassion,

How we can have compassion for others,

Not just those who have obvious suffering,

But even those who may not appear to be suffering right now and might even look like they're doing really well.

And also the most difficult people for whom to develop compassion are those who do harmful things,

Who perpetrate harm and cause suffering for others.

So our usual response to people like that is anger.

We feel angry at them and we might even wish them to suffer rather than wish them to be free of suffering.

But that kind of response isn't helpful for anybody and it's also possible to generate compassion for them.

It's more difficult,

More challenging,

But it is possible.

So we'll include that in our meditation as well.

We'll spend some time in silent meditation to calm down the mind and get more focused and then we'll do the guided meditation on compassion.

So bring into your mind a positive motivation for being here and joining this session of sharing the Dharma.

The best motivation that we can have,

Which will bring the greatest possible benefit both to ourselves and others,

Is bodhicitta or altruism,

Meaning wishing to become a Buddha,

Fully enlightened,

Fully awakened,

Out of compassion and love for other beings,

Wanting to help all living beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering and help them achieve genuine peace and happiness,

All happiness,

Especially the highest forms of happiness,

Of liberation and full awakening.

So out of compassion and love,

Wanting to benefit others,

One aspires to bring oneself to the state of enlightenment,

The state of Buddha,

In order to be able to help them.

So if you're comfortable with that idea,

You feel you can bring that into your mind as your reason for being here,

Wishing that this session will help you get closer to enlightenment,

Become a cause for your attainment of enlightenment for the benefit of all beings,

Then bring that into your mind.

If you're not so familiar with that kind of motivation,

Maybe not so comfortable with it at this point in time,

That's fine.

But try to at least feel the wish to benefit others,

To make your life one that is not harmful to others as much as possible,

And instead that you can benefit others as much as you can,

And that you would like to learn something here that will help contribute to that.

So we'll spend the first portion of this time in silence,

So you can meditate on the breath,

Or do other practices,

You know,

To bring about a more concentrated and clear,

Awake,

Mindful state of mind.

And try your best to keep your body in a good position during the meditation,

With your back straight,

But at the same time letting your body be relaxed,

Not tight or tense.

So let any tension there may be in your body melt and flow away and disappear,

Leaving your body as relaxed as possible.

It's also a good idea to not close your eyes all the way because that can lead to sleepiness.

We do want to stay awake when we meditate.

Keeping the eyes open just a little bit,

Looking down in front of you,

On your lap or whatever is in front of you,

Can help you to prevent falling asleep.

Stay awake and alert.

So once you've found a good position and you're as relaxed as you can,

Then you can go into your meditation on the breath,

Or whatever you wish to meditate on.

And I'll ring the bell softly at the point we'll shift from the silent meditation into the guided meditation,

Just to give you a bit of warning.

Okay.

So now we'll begin the guided meditation on compassion.

So start by bringing to mind some people who are suffering right now.

You can start with people you know,

Any family members or friends,

People you work with,

Neighbors.

And as you think of these people,

Try to imagine them in front of you as if they're sitting there in front of you.

And then expand your awareness to think of other people who you may not know directly,

But you've heard of them,

Maybe you read about them in the news.

These could include people who are suffering from COVID,

Maybe in the hospital,

Hooked up to a ventilator,

Unable to breathe on their own,

And probably feeling some physical discomfort,

Or even pain.

Also,

Probably some mental discomfort,

Unhappiness about being in the condition they're in and the place they're in,

Wanting to be at home with their family and friends,

Healthy,

Able to do all the things they want to do.

So there's probably some unhappiness and frustration about that.

And probably also some moments of anxiety or even fear,

Unsure whether they will ever go home,

Whether they will recover,

Or they might die,

But not wanting to think about that possibility,

But it pops up.

And you could think of other people experiencing difficulties as a result of COVID.

Example,

Those who have family or friends who are sick,

And so they're worried and sad to see their loved ones suffer.

Or parents of young children who aren't old enough to be vaccinated but have to go to school where they may be exposed to the virus.

People who have lost jobs and have difficulty finding food and other necessities they need for themselves and their family.

Some people have also lost their homes,

Which must be quite frightening as we're getting closer to winter.

And then over the last few days,

We've been reminded of the people who suffered as a result of 9-11 and what happened afterwards.

Many are still mourning the loss of loved ones in 9-11 itself and also in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Many suffering from wounds,

Physical as well as psychological,

As a result of those wars or those tragedies.

These are just some examples of people who are suffering,

And it may be too overwhelming to think of all such people.

So it's enough just to think of a few examples.

And even if you don't directly know people who have these experiences,

You can just use your imagination.

And again,

Try to imagine that those people are right there in front of you.

And now think of other people who were perpetrators of the actions that brought about those kinds of sufferings.

For example,

The terrorists,

The people belonging to the terrorist groups who carried out the actions on 9-11.

Other people who may have known about the plans but kept quiet and allowed those events to happen.

And the people who decided to go to war,

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan,

And people who fought in those wars,

Killed others including innocent civilians.

And there were also people who profited from those wars.

For example,

The people who manufacture weapons and military equipment,

They probably earned millions if not billions of dollars.

So when it comes to people like that,

We probably find it hard to feel compassion.

We may feel anger and blame.

We might even have thoughts like,

Well,

They caused suffering for others,

Or they just stood by and let those tragic events happen,

Didn't do anything to stop them or help.

So they don't deserve compassion or forgiveness.

They deserve to suffer.

But if we have thoughts like that in our mind,

What happens?

Do those thoughts bring peace and happiness to our minds?

Or do they keep us stuck in suffering and negative feelings?

So,

According to Buddhism and probably most other religions and spiritual traditions,

People like that deserve compassion too because they too are suffering.

Their minds are not free,

Not clear or pure,

But are afflicted by ignorance,

Other disturbing emotions like hatred,

Greed,

Lack of compassion.

And it's because of those kinds of suffering that they did the things they did.

So they deserve compassion as well.

So thinking of all those people,

And these are just representative of so many others.

Let's see if we can meditate on and generate compassion for them.

It's good to start by contemplating how basically deep down inside they're just like me.

I want happiness and peace,

And I don't want suffering,

Pain,

Problems.

So just as I feel that way,

So do each and every one of them.

We can also contemplate how it is possible for this to happen because our minds are basically clear and pure,

And the afflictions that cause suffering are not an inherent,

Permanent part of our minds but are temporary,

Transitory,

And can be cleared away.

We can be free of them.

So let's see if we can generate the feeling,

The attitude of wishing that oneself and everyone else could be free of suffering.

So we can start with the first group of people,

The ones who have obvious suffering.

It's relatively easy to feel compassion for them.

So just spend a few moments thinking about those people and really from your heart wishing them to be free of all their suffering as well as the causes of suffering.

Then do the same with the other group of people,

The ones who've done harmful things.

Understand they want to be free of suffering.

They can be free of suffering and feel how wonderful it would be if they could become free of suffering and the causes of suffering,

Disturbing thoughts,

Emotions,

Especially ignorance,

The main cause of suffering.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if they could be free of all of those and experience genuine peace and happiness?

Okay.

And then really open up and feel this way for all people and all beings everywhere.

How wonderful it would be if all living beings everywhere could be free of their suffering and its causes.

I'll make a mental dedication of the positive energy from doing this meditation.

May it bring about what we just wished for,

That all living beings find a way to be free of suffering and its causes and experience genuine peace and happiness and their causes all the way up to liberation and full awakening.

May it bring about what we just wished for,

That all living beings find a way to be free of suffering and its causes and experience genuine peace and happiness and all beings everywhere.

Reviews

Five for the speaker.
Four for an older topic--9/11--a long time ago to center a meditation around.

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