Transforming Attachment

Venerable Thubten Chodron leads a guided meditation on letting go of attachment, a state of mind that exaggerates the good qualities of an object and clings to them. Learn more from her book, "Guided Buddhist Meditations" published by Shambhala Publications.

Transcript

Meditation Now we'll do a meditation to actually counteract or transform our attachment.

So think of a specific person or thing or place,

Something that you cling onto very much.

And then imagine that you actually have it.

Think that you've actually gotten what you crave,

What you desire.

And you have it in abundance.

Really create the scene around you.

And after you've created that scene in which you secured what you're attached to,

Then examine if you're really happy.

If that person or thing or situation has the power from its own side to bring you lasting happiness and satisfaction.

Meditation Meditation Meditation And as you check up,

If the object of your attachment has the power to bring you lasting happiness and satisfaction,

Question,

Does anything external to me have the power to bring me full protection and satisfaction,

Happiness?

Are external things,

External people,

Prestige and so forth,

Do these things really bring any kind of lasting security or happiness that we're seeking?

Thank you.

Our attachment is also very linked to fear.

Because the more we're attached to something,

The more we fear losing it,

Or the more we fear not getting it.

And then our mind creates worst-case scenarios that we convince ourselves are certain to happen when we don't have what we're attached to.

So again,

Make an example from your life and think that you're separated from what you're attached to.

You're no longer with that person or in that place,

Have that job,

Whatever.

And instead of letting your mind go crazy with fear and anxiety and projections,

Ask yourself what resources do I have to help me deal with the situation?

In other words,

Even if I'm separated from what I'm hoping to have,

What I desire,

Is it really going to be that much of a catastrophe?

There's resources in the community that we can turn to for help.

And also we have resources within ourselves,

Ways to work with our own mind and our emotion that will help us deal with the situation.

So think,

Even if I don't get what I'm attached to,

What resources,

External and internal,

Do I have access to that can help me?

And through this you realize that not getting what you're attached to isn't the end of the world.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And especially in relationships with people when we're separated from somebody that we're attached to,

That we care a great deal about,

We grieve.

And what we grieve for is not the past,

But the future,

Because we have an idea of how we want the future to be with that person,

And it isn't turning out the way we want it to.

And so we grieve for a future that's not going to happen.

So instead of doing that,

What would it be like if we looked at the past,

Where we were with the person,

And said how wonderful it was that I had the time that I did have to spend with the person?

It doesn't matter that we're not together in the future,

But I'm very happy that we were able to meet,

That we were able to share,

That we had whatever small amount of time we had together,

And I'm satisfied with that,

I'm content with that.

So that's another way to think to help us transform the attachment.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And then another technique to help free ourselves from attachment is to mentally give the person or place or thing away.

So you can think of giving it away to other people,

And those other people becoming very happy.

Or you can also think of offering it to the Buddha.

And this is especially nice to do when we're attached to people,

Because often with people we feel like they have to be with me,

They have to be near me.

But if we offer them to the Buddha and imagine the Buddha taking care of them,

Then we realize actually they're much better off.

So that doesn't mean that we leave our family and friends,

But mentally we offer,

And that frees our mind from the clinging attachment.

So think of people or things or whatever it is you're attached to,

And think of offering them either to the Buddha or to other living beings.

And have a joyful mind of being able to offer.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And as a conclusion,

Recognize that it's possible for you to practice these methods of letting go of attachment.

And that when you do,

You feel very balanced,

You feel calm.

And when you're able to let go of the attachment,

You're actually able to enjoy those people or things more because you aren't clinging.

So see the benefits of counteracting the attachment and make a determination to try and do so in your daily life.

Thank you.

Reviews

What an interesting turn of events in this meditation. Very useful when you change the perspective. Instead of yearning, remember what you had.

This was helpful for some attachment anxiety I was having. Thank you 🙏

Gave me a really different perspective on attachment. Feeling so light after this.

This brought me right to my majotär attachements and helpdesk to open up a way to let go and to free from the attachement. Thanks! I will come back.

True guidance on the process of letting go. Lots of space to practice. Thank you.

Amazing

Can't be grateful enough for these words... Super powerful
Thank you
#grateful

Such helpful remedies for letting go of attachment. I use this meditation often and feel so peaceful after. Thank you for sharing 🙏

Super helpful. I hope to return to this again and again.

Very good suggestions. Putting my friend in God’s hand (or the Buddha) is one I always forget about and is always a good suggestion. Thank you ✨🙏✨

Very pleasant voice to listen to and very insightful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing 🙏

Great insights with a lot of reflection in between.

Very helpful. I appreciated the moments of silence after the prompts.

Great meditation! It helped me a lot to feel more calmed and really start to transform attachment. Will listen to it again.

I have been struggling with my anxious attachment and this helped me sooo much!! thank you for a wonderful new perspective

I don't even remember doing this a year ago, but it's still 5 stars. I have been struggling with seeking instant gratification in all aspects of my life lately, but a lack of physical intimacy with my partner has been one of my biggest problems. I was able to face the feeling, accept it, and detach. I hope I can carry this practice into my day and into my life. Attachment has been the root of my problems for some time.

This is an excellent guided exercise for re-thinking attachment / clinging, especially towards a person. It really made me stop and think, and calm down. Thank you

Such an amazing teacher. Thanks!

No longer clinging
I offer you to Buddha
We both go in peace

I ❤️ this. So wise, so helpful. 🙏

Thank you so much for such a soft yet poignant guidance for letting go of attachment. I started sobbing when you said " we are not grieving the past but the future " we are losing or have to give up when it comes to a romantic relationship. This is so on point and I still wonder why it's so painful to accept that a deep and lasting relationship with a great marriage and growth will not take place with this man I have been seeing and sharing with for good while ? It is truly hurtful to love stop seeing someone because he does not look at a relationship the same way It becomes toxic to wish for more time together and a future with a man who is emotionally unavailable, who says he loves me but is not able to give time nor space and be proactive in the relationship. I know I have to decide to gracefully end this and come to closure to fully grieve and free-up space for someone who will be willing to show-up on a regular basis and have an open heart. I did not expect this detachment process to be so long ...but thank you so much for your soothing words and voice and for allowing me to try to look at things differently.