Who Am I - The Most Important Question To Ask Yourself

"Who Am I?" is a crucial question that we all have to ask ourselves because behind this question lies our true self, our authentic self. So, in this audio, I am explaining how the labels we have put on us, how the roles we play, how the language we use affects massively the way we define ourselves, in a personal as well as on social level. And in the end, I will describe a couple of techniques to realise and step closer to your true self.

Take care,
Spiros

Transcript

Who am I?

This is our topic for today.

And throughout this podcast I will explain you how the labels and roles we have created and we have put on us hold us back from being authentic and what we can do to explore our true selves.

But if it's your first time here,

My name is Pirros and I help people to overcome the anxiety of everyday life so they find their well-being and start living a more fulfilled and meaningful life.

So our topic today is Who am I?

And I'm very excited to talk about this,

Because I find it very important.

It feels to me that nowadays we just wear masks.

We don't really show to other people and most importantly to ourselves who we are deep down.

By the way,

Later on in this podcast I will mention a couple of techniques to realize who you truly are and how you can overcome these feelings,

Labels,

Roles that hold you back from your true self.

So make sure you listen till the end.

Before we begin,

Before we do anything,

I would like you to take a few moments and ask yourself the question Who am I?

And notice what comes up.

And please do this now,

I will just give you a few moments.

And if you are like most people,

The answer that you will come up will be your name,

Your nationality,

Your profession,

Or some other aspect of you that you identify with.

For example,

For myself,

It's father,

Because I have a son and I'm very attached to him.

And perhaps you have noticed that we use images,

Symbols,

Language to answer these kind of questions.

And it makes sense,

Right?

But the symbols and the words we have created,

They are just a reference to something else.

They are only a representation to something real.

An interesting thing that's going on is that because we are so familiar with language as humans,

We tend to forget that we are the authors of these languages and symbols.

And then we confuse the symbols we have created for the real thing.

So we take the word tree for a real tree,

And money for real wealth.

But the thing is that these symbols don't exist out there.

And what happens from this process is that we restrict ourselves to man-made boundaries.

And I believe that Lao Tzu described it very wisely when he said,

The five colors made the man blind,

And the five nodes made the man deaf.

Because if we can only see five colors,

If we can only experience the limited number of categories that we have created,

Then obviously we don't see the full spectrum of life.

And you can see this confusion that we take the symbols for the real thing in personal,

But also in social level.

In personal level we say I'm not good enough,

I'm weak,

And we take these labels for the real thing.

The other day I had a coaching client who was keep on saying I'm weak,

I'm weak,

I'm weak,

I'm weak.

Because she didn't follow through her morning routine.

Then we discussed about that and she realized that she's not weak,

She just says she is.

Because that's the crazy thing here.

I'm weak,

It's not a state,

It's not something that you can be.

I'm weak is a label,

And we identify with these kind of labels and we act accordingly.

Now in social level you can see this too,

That we take the symbols for reality.

While humans are social beings,

We enjoy creating various relationships.

For example,

We can be parents,

We can be children,

We can be friends,

Employees.

So it makes sense for us,

And actually it's easier to navigate in this world,

When we adopt the partner role,

When we are with our partner,

And the employee role when we are at our job.

Because our brain loves certainty,

It really wants to know in what kind of state or mode we are.

Because then it can produce all the other automatic responses that come along with that role.

How do you notice that yourself?

Have you noticed that you talk,

Act,

Behave,

Even think in a certain way when you are with your family?

In another way when you are at your job?

And in another way when you are with your friends?

And perhaps in a totally different way when you are with another group of friends?

So after the end of this audio please write in the comments,

Yes,

Me or I,

If you have noticed that.

And write no if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

And then I will create another podcast talking specifically about that.

Look,

I'm not saying that we are never authentic,

That we are never our true self.

What I'm saying is that our behavior and our mindset continuously changes throughout our day to meet the expectations and duties which results in multiple conflicting personalities.

So we don't know who we are anymore.

We are always hiding behind some masks,

Some labels and roles.

What can we do about that?

How can we find out who we truly are and not just find out but actually be,

Experience,

Live our true selves?

Not for others but mostly for ourselves.

Well,

There are a couple of techniques that we can use.

For example,

When it comes to feelings,

When we identify with feelings like I'm sad,

I'm angry,

I'm stressed,

I'm depressed,

The way to go is to reframe them.

You can say there is sadness in me,

There is anger in me.

And look,

Express those feelings,

Then you will be your true self.

But also try to see that this sadness,

This depression does not define you but there is something that at this moment it's in you,

Not controlling you but obviously affecting you.

There is another technique that I love to use with my coaching clients and has been proven very effectively.

But before I explain you the technique,

Let me do an introduction with a short story on the nature of self.

There was a king who wanted to visit a sage and went there with his chariot.

When the king arrived,

The sage asked,

Is this your chariot?

Yes,

Replied the king.

Remove the horses please,

Said the sage.

They removed the horses and the sage asked,

Are the horses the chariot?

The king said of course not.

Then the sage asked to remove the wheels.

Are the wheels the chariot?

And the king said obviously not.

And then bit by bit they removed all the parts of the chariot.

And every time that the sage asked whether that part was the chariot,

The king replied no.

So at the end they left with nothing and the sage asked the king,

We have removed everything.

And every time you said that this was not the chariot.

Where is your chariot now?

This is actually the main idea behind Sunyata or emptiness that Buddhists talk about.

Because by removing all images,

Ideas,

Concepts,

One by one we realize that we are not the roles that we play,

We are not the labels we put on us.

We are not our name,

We are not our nationality,

We are not our profession,

We are not our body.

And when all these things,

All these concepts have been removed,

Only then we can see what we truly are.

And then we can see how connected we are with the rest of the universe.

And sure,

We are individuals,

We have our own personalities and these labels and roles somehow give us our individuality.

But this is a very limited way to talk about and experience ourselves.

And another technique that you can use is to meditate on this question.

And I have a relevant meditation which I call Who am I?

And you can find it under my profile.

Please go and listen to that too.

So before I leave you today,

I want you to ask yourself again the question Who am I?

But this time,

When your mind comes up with feelings,

Roles,

Concepts and ideas,

Try to negate them one by one.

Focus on what you are not.

Because for example,

If you say you are a parent,

Like me I'm a father,

Who will you be if you lose your child?

Will you still be you?

What about if you lose your hands after an accident?

I mean,

A lot of people define themselves with their bodies and they become depressed if they are overweight.

They say I'm a fat person and they define themselves through that sentence.

Well,

What if you lose your hands?

Will you still be you?

What if you lose some weight?

Will you still be you?

Obviously some things are changing when we lose something,

Right?

But deep down,

Deep inside,

What is our true self?

I hope you enjoyed this podcast and I hope I gave you some kind of insight,

At least in the direction that you can move to find out more about you,

About who you truly are.

By the way,

If you are interested in knowing more about yourself,

About how you can overcome the things that hold you back and how you can live a more fulfilled life,

Please contact me for a free coaching session.

You will not regret it.

There is no obligation to continue,

I offer this for free,

So you can experience what my approach to coaching can do for you and how you can start living the life you want to live.

The website is coachingunderthetree.

Com.

Thank you for listening and have a wonderful day.

Reviews

Fantastic... your voice is so calming too.
Thank you

🌸

Thank you Spiros, this was most insightful. I loved the story of the chariot and will ponder on who I am under all my parts... Love and blessings 💙x