Cute Misfortunes And Zooming Out

It is so easy to get trapped, nowadays, in our personal way of perceiving situations and events.
But as Epictetus says, people are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them. It is only when we zoom out, when we elevate our point of view, that we can see what the whole picture represents. Only then, we can see how our individuality merges with everything else.

Transcript

Hi,

My name is Spiros and today I have a short talk for you about changing perspective and how useful it can be in our daily life.

I will share with you my personal opinion and I will end up with a powerful technique that I call zooming out which has helped my coaching clients and me so many times.

So for a moment I would like you to imagine the following.

This Monday morning you walk out of your door with a fast pace and you reach your driveway only to find a flat tire at your car.

Obviously you will feel frustrated about the event,

Maybe angry and perhaps stressed because you will be late for work.

Now look at this event from the perspective of the garage owner that you take your car to fix your flat tire.

You bring him work and money of course,

So he sees your flat tire as a good thing.

And perhaps he secretly wishes for people to have troubles with their cars,

Regardless of whether those same people will not wish for the same thing.

The situation remains the same,

You have a flat tire,

But the perspectives and ultimately the person's emotions are different.

So people are not disturbed by things but by the view they take of them,

As Epictetus says.

This is actually my favorite quote from the ancient Stoics,

And the stranger it sounds,

The more true it is.

The benefit of consciously changing our perspective is that we stop being stuck in a close-minded attitude and that is looking at the bad thing that happened to us just from our side.

Now you may think,

How can I not be frustrated when a bad thing happens to me?

Well it's not about not being frustrated and it's definitely not about being in Nirvana the whole time.

If you feel frustrated,

Then by all means,

Be frustrated.

Don't hold it back.

Take your time to express your feelings.

The point though is to not remain stuck inside a monochromatic emotional whirlpool.

And the first step for moving out of this point is to be aware that there are other perspectives completely different from yours on the situation you are in right now.

So if there is a recent situation that frustrated you,

Think about how another person may have viewed your situation.

And to elaborate more,

Let me share with you a story.

An evening not so long ago my son was crying out loud because it was time to go to bed.

I found that cute though and I smiled while I was wondering how could he see the bigger picture.

Was there a way for him to change perspective or to zoom out of his misfortune?

When a toddler is outraged,

Lying on the floor and hitting arms and legs on the ground,

It may seem like the biggest disaster that could happen to the kid at that moment.

But almost magically the child forgets about the situation 10 minutes later.

We appreciate that crying because it's time to go to bed is not really an issue and most probably we have all cried for the same reason.

Now and having seen the bigger picture,

We,

The adults and the parents smile only because we find it cute.

Maybe in a similar way,

God also smiles at our misfortunes.

When we are struggling,

When we are angry,

When we are desperate and depressed.

By the way,

With the word God I don't mean any particular monotheistic God.

I use that word only as something above and outside of human perception.

So perhaps at a higher level,

One that we cannot grasp from our everyday perception,

These are not really calamities or misfortunes.

Sure there are tough periods in our lives that we can definitely feel on our skin and deep inside our minds,

But we categorize them as such only through our personal and temporal way of perceiving them.

And so God,

Who presumably exists in another level,

Smiles at our misfortunes because he finds them cute.

And to come to the zooming out technique that I mentioned in the beginning,

Consider these interesting thought experiments with a picture.

So the other day I was browsing through the photos on my computer and I encountered a beautiful landscape photo.

I wanted to focus on a particular point at the top of a mountain and I zoomed in.

Then I zoomed in some more.

And then some more.

Till I could only see scattered pixels which do not make much sense on their own.

It is only when we zoom out,

When we elevate our point of view,

That we can see what the whole picture represents.

What if we as individuals are the pixels in a picture that we call the universe?

What if we could zoom out and discard any magnifying glass?

And that is our lenses through which we see the world,

Our beliefs,

Our values that we hold for people,

Situations and ourselves.

It seems to me that only then we can see how our individuality merges and collaborates with other beings and entities in the world around us.

So what would be the benefit if we could see our problems from another angle?

What if we could elevate our minds so high that we would see people,

Animals,

Trees,

Rocks,

Events not as separate but as interdependent features of the bigger picture?

Could we categorize humanity's issues and misfortunes then?

Would we smile too?

I hope you enjoyed this short but hopefully thought-provoking talk.

And if you are interested in seeing things from another angle,

Please check out my perspective and detachment meditation.

That is a guided visualization where it helps you on changing perspective so you can detach from fears,

Habits,

Pains and consistent thoughts.

Thank you for listening.

Reviews

I enjoyed this very much. I must remind myself of this often because it is so true. Thank you. ❤️

Thank you Spiros!
Such a refreshing and positive perspective✨🙌☮️
I have some new work to do☺️

I’ve been working on changing the lens through which I view things at times, and I found your analogy and perspective to be very helpful. Thank you 😊🙏

This was a great perspective thank you and Namaste

A nice reminder that a slight shift in perspective can make a huge difference!

Thank you! This was enlightening. What a great quick change.

Very interesting. Thank you so much 😊🙏🏻

Thank you for sharing your story! I like the tools you gave me. Sending blessings and gratitude 🙏

Liking the zoom out notion a lot, although I must say, I never thought my kids’ tantrums were cute 😀

I love this! Very useful to zoom out and see that you are only a pixel in the larger picture of life. Beautiful. Thank you! 🙏🏼

Thank you for this very thought provoking message.

Excellent! Bookmarked. Thank you 🙏🏽

Thank you for helping see things in a different perspective, I will definitely think more about that 🙏

Thank you for your perspective 🌎

A different perspective or view helps the big picture. Thank you for this thought provoking meditation.

I love this method of changing perspective 😍 For me, it works extremely well.
Thank you💕

Very enjoyable and helpful in shifting perspective and negative perceptions. Goid intellegence.
Thank you.

This was excellent. I am normally a bit wary when I hear the word "God" used in a way that sounds like it is referring to a specific faith tradition, so I was VERY pleasantly surprised and grateful when immediately after that word was used, there was a very matter-of-fact and thoughtful explanation that clearly stated it IS NOT a reference to such a thing but only the word chosen to describe what I personally term "Source" or "Higher Power" or "the Universe" or "That Which Is."

The rest of this talk was a fantastic example of how perspective and distance shapes value judgments as to the character of an event - which, I might add, is actually neutral. We assign the event to a category of positive, neutral, or negative based on our own perspective and values.

The "zoom out" technique made me smile, having been a professional photographer in my colorful career path. Yet it also is very familiar in concept. I first began using this technique in the early 1990s, after reading a poem in one of my favorite books, "Earth Prayers from Around the World" edited by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon. (Which still to this day resides next to my bed, accompanied my to military Basic Training, and travels with me on most of my trips.)

There is a brief entry by Lew Welch musing over the fact that if one steps out onto the planet and were to draw a circle just 100 feet around, there would be "300 things nobody understands, and, maybe nobody's ever really seen." The passage goes on to ask how many of those things can we find?

This was also reflected in a poster I had hanging in my college apartment, a version of which appears on a magnet that is attached to one of the picture frames sitting on my desk at work. It depicts the Earth (in the poster, it was the Milky Way Galaxy) with a red arrow pointing to a tiny spot with the words, "You Are Here" written next to the end it the arrow.

Zooming out - or even zooming in - shifts one's perceptions significantly, or at the very least, has great potential to do so. I use this technique with my clients, only with a psychological technique twist called "reframing." Asking if there is another way the event/situation could be interpreted often shakes the mind loose and gives it room to breathe, more able to view it objectively rather than from the instinctual/emotional level. When working a crisis line, I employed this technique with almost every person reaching out for help.

I gave a simple example, that of having gotten a new puppy and returning home soon afterwards to find the puppy had chewed up a favorite pair of shoes. It sits there, wagging its tail with tongue lolling in puppy pleasure to see you as you arrive. How do you respond? The event is in the past, and the puppy won't understand it should not have acted that way. Many initially respond with anger, a "bad dog!" response. Some become upset over the loss of the shoes but do not direct their emotions at the dog. Some might say, "At least the puppy didn't mess on the bed or chew up furniture." Some simply note that they need to do a better job puppy-proofing the house or consider crate training. Some might actually be happy as they wanted a new pair of shoes but had no room to get them, but now they do. And some may simply sigh, noting that they knew this was a possibility upon bringing the puppy home and will need to both clean up the remains of the shoes plus take steps to prevent future destructive behavior, but choose instead in that moment to focus on and respond to the puppy's joy with smiles and affection that are far more durable than the single shoe-chewing event now in the past. With distance of even a few moments and a wealth of puppy kisses and frolicking, the distressing situation becomes far less so.

In general, emotional responses last roughly 30 seconds before disappearing, unless they are attended to and reinforced. This is part of why the zoom out technique is so consistently effective, when done without deliberately holding on to initial assessments/judgments. "Stop and think" or "Count to ten before speaking" function on similar principles.

I was very glad to hear the lovely and simple description of the zoom out technique. Far too few people make use of it these days, I feel, and far fewer still seem either unaware of the technique or are unable to pause their gut reactions and take that step back, be it physical, mental, emotional, or any combination of the above and then some.

Bookmarked and downloaded this one to use as an additional way to describe the concept of perspective in interpretation of events. Thank you so very much for sharing this insight and important method with us. I see the light in you. 🤲🏻❤️🤲🏻