Addiction: Do You Love It Or Does It Love You More?

Usually, we don't consider smartphones, comfort, or even the constant pursuit of happiness as an addiction, are they though? In this audio, I share my perspective on addiction through personal experiences, and I provide some interesting and different ways to look at it. At the end, awaits a task and a challenge to test ourselves.

Transcript

Hi,

My name is Pirus and this morning I had this random thought about addiction and I wanted to share it with you guys.

So what follows in this audio is my perspective on addiction from personal experience,

A couple of interesting questions for you and at the end awaits a challenge and a task.

A lot of people believe that addiction is a condition that only the drug addicts are compelled to,

But I believe that almost anyone of us is addicted to something.

Take alcohol for example,

A lot of people go out on weekends only to get shitfaced from drinking.

No judgement,

We all have been there.

Others cannot function in the morning if they cannot get their caffeine,

That's addiction as well.

Some other people cannot have lunch or dinner or drink if it's not followed by a cigarette,

That's addiction too.

Others feel that a meal is not proper if it does not contain meat,

That's also addiction.

What about chocolate or smartphones,

Facebook and social media in general?

These are more subtle forms of addiction and most people do not consider them as such.

I dare to say that addiction can also be found on areas that we haven't thought before,

Like on achievement.

How many people burn out themselves only for a continuous and never-ending accomplishment?

Or even happiness.

There are people who are so attached to happiness and who struggle to be in that sphere all the time.

But I wonder,

Is this the only side in life?

What happens when we disregard the equally important,

In aspect of being?

Or on comfort.

Some of us,

And I admit that I have been one,

Prefer comfort instead of growth.

The list can go on and on and on.

So regardless whether you believe that addiction is related only to drugs or alcohol,

I presume that most probably you are addicted as well,

Perhaps in some other more subtle form.

Perhaps in a more socially acceptable behaviour,

Like smoking or drinking coffee.

Perhaps in something that you don't even consider as an issue.

Just to clarify something before I proceed.

I personally don't consider addiction as a problem as far as we use it to teach us something.

And that's what I will try to do today,

To give you another perspective of it.

And now is the right time to share with you a personal experience.

So when I was 31 I decided to skip eating meat just for one day,

Not because I thought that I was addicted to it,

But mostly because I was curious.

Am I able to not eat meat for one day?

Can I actually do it?

For the background,

I used to eat meat every single day.

Even when my wife was cooking a tasty vegetarian meal,

I would make a sandwich with ham or bacon in it afterwards,

Only because my belief was that if I don't consume meat,

Then I have not eaten.

Can any of you resonate with my story?

A parenthesis here,

I will proceed using this example,

Eating meat daily as I used to.

So for those of you who really like meat,

Please don't be offended,

There is no judgement.

It is only an example and after all you can substitute the word meat with almost anything.

Obviously people will reply that eating meat is not an addiction,

How can it be?

I can hear you saying right now,

I love it,

I love eating meat every single day.

And I ask you,

How do you know?

It seems that this has become a habit for you.

Sure you began because you were loving it,

The taste was really rewarding,

But now you do it almost unconsciously.

When you hear the word food or when the clock takes dinner time,

Your brain automatically produces the image of a nice juicy steak or a fat burger.

And I know this because that was the image that was emerging inside my head years ago.

I may have stopped eating meat now,

But I wouldn't want you to believe that I don't have any addictions anymore.

I have loads actually.

I still tend to overeat during my meals.

I adore the taste of chocolate and I can consume a lot of that too.

And in a more subtle form,

I'm also addicted to not expressing myself because staying inside myself makes me feel safe and comfortable.

I'm also addicted to listening to the negative,

Just mental stories between my ears.

And that really keeps me back.

You see,

We humans tend to habituate.

This is a defense mechanism that we all share.

We adapt to environments and situations so that we survive.

However,

In the long run,

This defense mechanism produces habits,

Routines,

Addictions.

We get comfortable with what we do and then physically and mentally we don't want to change it.

And most of the times it is this familiar comfort zone that draws ourselves back.

Now I have a question for you,

Something to consider,

To contemplate on.

So when you say it's not an addiction,

I just love it.

Is it actually true?

Do you love it or does it love you more?

Listen again.

Do you love it or does it love you more?

Because as I see it,

When something that we love becomes a habit and we start doing it automatically,

It does not have the same reward in us.

We don't really love it anymore,

At least not as we used to.

That is why I overeat.

That is why we all overeat.

We consciously believe that the second or the third dish of food will bring the pleasure that was missing from the first one.

Actually,

We have got so used to that pleasure,

To that continuously same reward,

That it does not make the impression that they once did to us.

If this tendency of human beings sounds fascinating,

I would recommend you to look it up.

In positive psychology it is called hedonic treadmill.

So once more,

Do you love it or does it love you more?

Does it love to switch with automatic pilot,

To drain your energy,

To keep you back?

It seems to me that your thing,

The meat that I have used as my example or whatever it is for each one of you,

Loves you more.

The meat wants to be eaten by you.

The cigarette is eager to be smoked by you.

The alcohol desires to be drunk by you.

The negative thoughts are crying to embrace you in their colorless depression.

I admit it.

This is probably a weird way to think about addiction.

However,

You don't have anything to lose if you take some time to meditate upon this idea.

So do you love it or does it love you more?

Do you realize that at the moment your addiction loves you more than you love it?

What are the steps that you could take to overcome it and start loving it once again?

Most of us have tried and we know that it is very hard,

Almost impossible,

To quit something for good or even to convince ourselves to skip something for one whole year because our minds and bodies have become so comfortable with the substance that cannot manage without it.

The trick that has helped me to overcome some of my addictions.

The trick is to say to myself that I will skip my thing for one day only,

As I did with eating meat daily in the past.

You can try the same and when that day passes you can say to yourself I will skip for one more day and then you can play the same trick over and over again.

And who knows,

Maybe the experience of skipping even for a few days will teach you something.

To finish off I have a task and a challenge for those of you who would like to test themselves or for those who are going down the route of personal development right now.

The task is to write down a list of three things you do automatically and daily.

Usually these are the things that you take for granted.

It may sound simple but I assure you it will be quite hard to find them if you really want to be honest with yourself.

So I want you to deeply think about them.

Just for ideas think of smoking,

Alcohol,

Money,

Sex,

Social media,

Social status,

Cluttering,

Judgement,

Sadness,

Worrying,

Modesty,

Smartphone gadgets,

Gym,

Netflix,

Self help,

Our ego,

You name it.

And then select only one of the items from your list and I challenge you to say no to that.

Say no to the thing you like so much.

Just say no to it for one day only.

The worst that could happen is to learn something from the experience,

Especially if this withdrawal takes you out of your comfort zone.

Say no and check whether you still love your thing or whether it loves you more.

I would like to hear your opinion and experience in the comments.

Thank you for listening.

Reviews

Loved this respective. Thank you for stretching my awareness and for the depth of this perspective… ‘addiction’ - an opportunity to stretch and notice upon reflection with self - and ALSO - to strengthen awareness of how ‘judgement’ can play a fueling role in all things ‘addiction’ (of self and very much ‘others’)…
Thank you for BEing brave in sharing this wonderful opportunity 🥰💜🥰

Excellent!
I understand everything you said PERFECTLY, and I know (and have known) that I have all too many addictions myself, and I’m working on most of them.
(Some I am rather fond of!)
Thank you so very much for sharing your story with us!

Dear Sir ,
Brilliant! Your talk gave me a new perspective on addition. I have many and have had many different . I believe it would be fantastic to lead a class on this topic Thank you & Namaste
Passing this information along .

Thank you for this thought provoking meditation Spiros 🙏🏾☀️

Loved this insight. And your voice!!!

Interesting perspective and I like the challenge you gave me ! I choose thinking!

Helpful new spin and technique to assess addictions

So true. Going to work with this. Makes a lot of sense.

Thank you ☺ I will try🙏

Interesting how many things we can be addicted too. I overcame addiction to alcohol. I need to tackle my sugar and caffeine addictions next. I'll start with sugar, just for one day!

Very timely. Thanks for your transparency.

Really enjoyed the refreshing honesty and references to the mundane trappings of everyday life as potential addictions. So crucial to keep an open, loving yet teflon heart ❤️

Really interesting. I've been thinking about my addition to chocolate and recently said I'd give it up for 10 days. It's day 6 now, and it feels more manageable if it's a short time. I like your day at a time idea... Thank you for your insight Spiros 💜 x

Brilliant thanks so much. Looking up the treadmill too.

So true. Anything I do to avoid feeling any discomfort can be considered an addiction; eating, my phone, etc. Bookmarked this one. Thank you. 💜

Found your perspective valuable. My feelings , often central , is feeling not quite good enough.