77. 8 Ways To Know… Should I Persevere, Or Let It Go?

Those who bulldoze through life often think we know what's best for ourselves. We speed ahead as we attempt to achieve goals that may not be in alignment with our life’s highest purpose. In truth, no amount of bulldozing will help achieve your desired outcome. How do we know when to persevere through obstacles and when to slow down? How do we know when it’s time to take the foot off the accelerator and change course? Listen as Monica & Michael unpack the tools to stop bulldozing our way through life

Transcript

When that bulldozing no longer works,

When that push no longer works,

It's really about surrendering and getting to a place where you can get into a calm,

Where you can train your brain to hear and to learn new ways.

It's not just by will alone,

Right?

It's not only by connecting with your soul and your spirit,

You also have to be able to allow all of you to surrender into something else.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry Podcast episode 77.

Is that true?

No,

I like to lie.

Of course it's true.

So.

I'm so happy to be spending this time with you.

Great.

Let's see how you feel at the end of it.

I like when I make you giggle.

You make me giggle a lot.

So Michael,

I want to start this episode by inviting you to do a quick visualization.

Are you up for it?

OK,

Should I close my eyes?

Keep them open.

I don't think you need to close your eyes for this one.

It's not super deep.

But also,

I'm trying something else with you because this doesn't have any human characters in it.

Should we hold hands?

So you won't be emotional or upset about the ending or the outcome.

OK.

It's just a little story about a bulldozer.

I want you to imagine a bulldozer.

When a bulldozer encounters resistance.

A bulldozer.

That's the one with the big ball in front of it,

Right?

Yeah.

That's great.

No,

But the first thing I saw was a tractor.

I haven't seen a bulldozer in a long time.

Oh my God.

Are you going to act like four?

We're not playing with trucks.

We're just going to discuss a bulldozer.

But it's true though.

You see many more tractor trucks.

In your travels.

Then you see bulldozers.

When was the last time you saw a bulldozer?

Keep going.

We will all wait.

I haven't seen a bulldozer in a long time.

Is it hard for you to visualize?

No,

I can visualize it now.

Great.

OK.

So when a bulldozer encounters resistance or opposition,

What does it do?

Picture it.

What do you think we have now,

Michael?

Maybe it's a pile of trash,

Soil,

Sand or snow.

Regardless,

The bulldozer drives straight through and over whatever stands in its way.

That's not whatever you just said.

We're not knocking a building down.

A bulldozer is a thing that has a lift in front of it.

That like.

.

.

Are you sure?

Well,

Yeah,

Maybe not.

Let me check.

You keep going.

I'll check online.

No,

We'll wait.

Oh,

You're right.

It is a bulldozer.

So what is that thing with the bowl in the front?

I don't know.

You want to Google that now and take time?

OK.

So as I was saying.

.

.

No,

It's really good,

Actually,

I'm giving you specifics because you were not imagining a bulldozer.

No,

It's true.

You know what it is?

You were imagining a demolition or demolish or whatever it's called.

OK.

It will not stop and consider and it will not work with whatever is resisting it to reach any kind of harmonious agreement.

The bulldozer essentially says I'm coming through whether you like it or not.

It's happening my way.

I win,

You lose.

Now,

I don't think a bulldozer is actually having these kinds of thoughts,

But obviously I'm leaning into the idea that people have this behavior and they bulldoze through life.

And of course,

I'm not spending this episode talking about motorized machinery.

So we're going to segue into.

.

.

Well,

I have many questions.

So,

Let me ask you,

Who knows what you prepared for today's podcast.

I understand the assignment,

But what does it mean to bulldoze?

I think it's interesting.

I think because psychologically there are people who have that by nature,

That that's their modus operandi in life where they,

Again,

Like you said,

They just keep moving ahead.

They have their goal,

Their task,

Whatever it is they think they need to do.

And they don't really care about what stands in their way.

But the reality is that all of us have aspects of this.

And it really comes down to the point when things aren't going your way,

What's your initial reaction?

I just asked for a simple definition.

Oh,

Sorry.

Okay.

So Merriam-Webster agrees with you and she defines it as the following.

To coerce and restrain by threat,

Think of a bully.

To move,

Clear,

Gouge out,

Or level off.

And to force insensitively or ruthlessly,

Which is I think what you were alluding to.

And unfortunately,

We don't only do this to other people,

We do this to ourselves as well.

So when that happens,

When we come across a challenge,

When bulldozing doesn't work,

No amount of work will fix it.

We have no control over what's happening.

Praying may not work and being spiritual can't fix it.

And we're going to go into all of that because obviously those things will work.

But if you're bulldozing your way even through prayer or spirituality,

Then there's going to be a point where that just doesn't work anymore for you.

And then people tend to spiral.

They feel guilt.

They feel shame.

They feel blame.

And again,

For those who subscribe to a specific faith,

Their faith can then come into question.

Doubt seeps in and creates an unsettling sense of chaos.

So you're going to ask me this question now.

So Monica,

I had a question before you go ahead.

I wanted to ask you.

So can you share some examples of when you witnessed someone or yourself operating in a bulldozing state only to realize how ineffective it was?

What a thoughtful question,

Michael.

Actually yes.

There's somebody I know who,

He didn't realize this,

But he was bulldozing his way through everything in his life,

You know,

In school,

Grades,

Friends,

Something he didn't like,

He was able to alter and change.

And then he started to lose his hair.

And that was the one time in his life.

This isn't me,

Is it?

No,

No,

It's not.

Have you made you laugh?

Where no amount of bulldozing would stop the hair loss.

And so then he really met those feelings that I just said about blame and shame and guilt and really at a loss,

Like nothing's working and I can't get my desired outcome.

I know somebody else who has vocal cord damage.

And it's interesting because now he's having to deal with that.

And he realized that that stemmed from he believed that he had to go speak,

Do teach all day long for hours every day.

And that is how he was worthwhile.

That's where he found his value.

And the third one,

Because this is like I'm really excited about this topic,

I don't think people realize how we think and how that seeps into everything that we do with my father and having Alzheimer's,

He literally ran out of time to achieve the things that he had hoped to achieve.

For me,

Watching that,

His personality was very much like,

Go do a very big picture person,

Lots of desire.

So when he ran out of time for me,

That scared me that I better do everything I can till I'm utterly exhausted because I don't want to run out of time.

What I realized about these three examples is that the theme is that each person here,

Right,

Having hair,

Running around like crazy to be to help being of service and the fear of running out of time is all that our value is wrapped up in those things that we're attached to.

Right.

My value is as long as I'm busy doing creating,

I'm earning more time on this planet.

Right.

The person with the vocal cord issue,

As long as he's making himself busy to help other people,

He has a right to be here.

He's somebody not even important,

But somebody just that is now deserving of good.

The person who has a hair loss obviously is attached to his physicality and believing he needs those things in order to attract goodness,

Blessings.

So again,

It's this belief that we need these things in order to be worthwhile.

And then when that when the bulldozing no longer works,

Like for me,

I literally stretch myself so hard that I ruptured a tendon like,

OK,

I can't bulldoze anymore through life.

I need to figure out another way.

So,

Yeah,

I think it's a really powerful idea.

And thank you for the question.

I think the difficulty with this is that as most things,

It's not all good or all bad.

Right.

Certainly there are many examples,

Even in our own lives,

Of times when there was a wall that came up and only because of our perseverance and only because of our bulldozing ability did we get through it.

So when you can point to something and say,

OK,

This is something you should excise out of your life forever,

That's much easier maybe.

But when you say no,

Actually,

This is something that can be very powerful,

Very useful.

But there are times when you shouldn't use it.

And I think understanding those two times.

When to push and when to stop.

I think that's both the challenge and hopefully the clarity that we can help our listeners come to.

And also how you push.

Right.

I mean,

I think that's a really big part of it.

There are six archetypes of obstructive behavior,

Interestingly enough.

And bulldozing is one of them.

So business psychologists,

They've been studying this for 20 years.

And executive coaches James Waldrupp and Timothy Butler identified key behaviors that commonly damage people's careers.

And they describe them in the Harvard Business Review article,

Managing Away Bad Habits.

And they're not talking about the compulsions we have like nail biting or a little bit of self-doubt,

But really bad habits that are deeply ingrained in one's personality to the point where they foster significant limitations.

And the six are the first is the hero always pushes themselves and by extension subordinates too hard to do too much for too long.

The second.

That's probably the case of the person you said with the vocal cord injury,

Right?

That's the hero.

Yes.

Yes.

Very good.

Michael's paying attention.

The second is the merit.

The meritocrat believes that the best ideas can and will be determined objectively and thus will always prevail because of their clear merit ignores the politics inherent in most situations.

The third is the bulldozer runs.

Do you mind if I understand the second?

The meritocrat.

Yeah.

So what's wrong with that?

Believes that the best ideas can and will be determined objectively and thus will prevail because of their clear merit.

They ignore the politics.

They ignore other things that are inherent in the situation.

It's completely like by my right alone,

By my vision.

You know somebody like that.

It's all going to be okay.

And they don't actually see the warning signs.

You know somebody like that.

You know what I'm talking about?

I think so.

Because again,

Like all things,

There are signs.

This is why this podcast is really important.

I don't think,

And this is why it's a little bit tricky even to,

I think,

Articulate it clearly because they're not bad necessarily.

They're not bad at times.

It's if you only do that.

And it's also what's attached to that.

So I think the three examples that I gave,

If your value is attached to any of these things,

You're never going to give up and you're not going to see or seek out another way because it's all that you know.

And it will work.

And that's the thing.

These do work until they don't.

I like your question.

The third is the bulldozer runs roughshod over others in a quest for power.

The fourth is the pessimist focuses on the downside of every change,

Always worries about what could go wrong rather than considering what could go right.

The fifth is the rebel automatically fights against authority and convention.

I know we know people like that.

It's very funny.

And I thought this one was interesting too.

The home run hitter tries to do too much too soon,

Swings for the fences before they've learned to hit singles.

So regardless of which archetype you are,

I mean,

That could be an interesting conversation too.

I could ask you what you are.

There's four psychological processes that are most troublesome and at the cause of each self-limiting behavior.

And they are an inability to understand the world from the perspective of other people,

A failure to recognize when and how to use power,

A failure to come to terms with authority and the negative self-image.

And so because we're looking at these and we're talking about bulldozing,

For the bulldozer specifically Waldrop and Butler,

They posited that this behavior stems from a survivalist mentality,

Eat or be eaten.

As a bulldozer,

Your challenge is to identify why you believe it's against the world and or why you believe your power stems from dominating others through work or action,

Including yourself.

So it's interesting.

Like we said,

The paradox here is that there are times that not only is it the right thing to do,

It is the thing that must be done.

For instance,

We know very many successful people,

Countless stories about Steve Jobs,

For example,

Who again,

He bulldozed,

Literally bulldozed to an extent where people around them were sure that certain things were not possible.

And he brought them into being through his literally,

He was probably the epitome of a bulldozer.

We also know in reading his biography that there were issues that came up in life probably because of that element of his life.

But I think because again,

You will find people who are,

I would say lazy,

Who don't want to bulldoze through anything.

So coming to understand when is the right time to use which.

But I think it all begins with.

.

.

Well,

It's being very selective and also very,

I'm not going to say infrequently,

But it's not the majority.

There comes a time,

Right?

Like let's say you're running a marathon.

You're not going to run it by sheer,

Like any of these things,

Right?

But at towards the last mile or maybe the last two,

You're going to need to pick up on one of these kinds of traits and you're going to need to bulldoze your way through it to get to the finish line,

Right?

There's a time and a place is what I'm saying.

So I think for me,

As often is the framework within which I view this,

Which I'd like to share with our listeners is a spiritual one.

And I would go back to an ancient biblical story.

There's a story of a very negative person as he's spoken about.

His name was Bilaam.

Bilaam was a sorcerer.

He was a person who had very,

It was said very powerful.

For our friends out there that have never heard that name before,

What does Bilaam mean?

It doesn't have a direct translation.

It's a combination of different words.

But he was known in the Bible,

The story is brought that he was a very strong sorcerer and so much so that if you would curse somebody,

It would always come true.

So he was being sought after to curse the Israelites being led by Moses at that time who were in the desert.

And there's a very,

Very interesting,

And I think very much a lesson for this topic,

The conversations that went on between this great sorcerer and the creator.

And it almost seems like a contradiction within the biblical texts,

Whereas Bilaam is always saying the words,

I will only do what the creator wants me to do.

I will only do what God tells me to do.

And then in his conversation with God,

God says,

Listen,

I don't think you should go.

And Bilaam says,

But I really want to.

So then God says,

Okay,

You should go.

And again,

You can do a whole biblical study on this.

This could take hours.

It's really beautiful.

I personally find it interesting.

But the point is the contradiction between the way he was viewing what was happening,

Which was that God was on his side.

God was telling him to do it.

And the clarity of the verses was making it clear that Bilaam should not have gone and to try to curse the Israelites and do what he did.

So to answer that question,

How can the verses be so contradictory?

Was God on his side telling him to do it,

Or was God telling him not to do it?

And if that is the case,

That God was telling him don't do it,

How was he getting the message,

No,

God wants you to go ahead and do it?

So the answer is a very,

Very important understanding about life.

And that is that what we refer to as the creator or the light of the creator or God is an energy.

And we know that energy can be used in many different ways.

If you put a lamp into the socket and the bulb is blue,

Then you'll have blue light.

If you put the different bulb and you put a white bulb,

Now you have white light.

So the socket,

The electricity doesn't have an opinion about whether it should be white or blue.

It's there and can be used.

And that is the way to understand the force of what we call the creator or the light of the creator or God,

As some people call this force,

That it is an energy.

And you can use that energy for positive things,

But you can also divert that energy into whatever your preconceived notions are,

Your own selfish ego desires.

So to answer the original question in the biblical story of Bilaam,

It's not that the creator was telling him to do one or the other,

It's that he was not open to hear what the right thing to do.

He was bulldozing.

He knew what he wanted to do and he used the energy of God,

Of the light of the creator to do it.

And when you understand that that's true for all of us,

That the fact that the light of the creator is there,

That's a given.

How will I use it or misuse it or divert it is up to me.

So what does that mean?

That means that you have to be very mindful.

You have to live life very mindfully,

Which is the fact that if you desire,

And this is maybe a shift from many of our listeners,

What do you desire?

Well,

One can say,

I have the list of things I want to have a great job,

I want to make a lot of money,

I want to have a family,

I want to have three and a half kids,

Whatever that number is.

Right?

You have that,

Everybody has that list.

I'm joking.

That's just a quote.

You can have a life built on your to-do list or,

And this again,

I accept can be a very big shift from many of our listeners.

I know that my soul has a purpose in this world.

And I don't know exactly what it means,

But my number one priority in life is not my to-do list or my accomplishment list,

But rather to make sure that I reveal my soul's light in this world,

My soul's purpose in this world.

When you come to life from that perspective,

It's a completely different view.

Sorry,

I want to pause there because I think it's so important to realize,

I think most of us,

Even those of us who are spiritually awakened,

We live our lives with my desire,

My goals,

And we somehow try to fit spiritual wisdom,

Spiritual understanding,

Or whatever it is that we use to get to that goal.

But the question also has to be,

One second,

Maybe that's actually not the right goal for your soul.

Maybe your soul came to do something else.

I'll give an example.

Moses,

Who was a great leader,

He did many great things in his life.

The Kabbalists say his job in life was not to be a father.

He didn't,

If you know the story of his life,

He had two sons,

Two children,

But they didn't grow up with him.

They grew up with his wife because that was not his soul's purpose.

His soul's purpose was to be a great leader for millions,

And that's what he was.

Yes,

He also happened to be a father,

But the reason why that part of his life did not seem to live up to the other parts of his life,

Because that wasn't his purpose.

Where did you.

.

.

I'm interested in that.

So how do you know that?

Well,

Kabbalists say,

Wisdom,

I don't know.

It's just based on thousands of years of wisdom.

And those kids didn't have issues like that.

They ignored me.

They probably did.

That's my guess.

That's my guess.

But my point is.

.

.

I know,

But we'll have to go visit that.

You go through these stories.

I mean,

Of course you can read them since you were in diapers,

But.

.

.

Not really diapers,

But.

.

.

Yeah,

I know.

It's just you to picture you in them.

I was out of diapers by 46.

I just like the visual.

Yes,

Yes.

Really?

You're like,

I'm going to go get some diapers?

Yeah.

Because that's really.

.

.

I mean,

Honestly,

It feels like it.

Anyway,

Yeah.

No,

I think that'd be interesting for people.

But anyway,

I'll rack your brain off the air.

And then we'll bring it back on the air.

So I think.

.

.

So you said his purpose was far greater.

Right.

And it often.

.

.

So not to go through this too quickly,

If your true desire.

.

.

And I know this isn't true for many people,

But I'm hoping that we're awakened to this.

My number one priority in life is to accomplish what my soul came to the world to accomplish.

I might have some inkling about what it might be and I will move in that direction,

But I am open to be shown something else.

I don't have innately these things that must happen that I must accomplish,

But rather my desire is to reveal my soul's light in whatever way that manifests.

I will try this and I will try that.

But what happens with that is that when the universe or the creator shows you a stop sign,

You stop and you say,

Oh,

One second.

You're much more open to the possibility of being put on a different track as opposed to the bulldozer who says,

No,

This is what I want to do.

And I'm going to push and push.

And there might be a road in front of me,

A wall in front of me.

I'm going to push through it.

But one second,

Maybe there's a reason why the wall is there.

And so your example of Moses is that even though he had children and a wife,

He was pulled and drawn.

Right.

Because he could have spent all of his life being depressed about the fact.

And again,

Fortunately,

Unfortunately,

We know people who,

You know,

In divorce,

For example,

You know,

Something,

You know,

He or she,

The father or mother,

Doesn't get to spend as much time with their children.

Yeah,

It comes in what they want.

And so again,

In that situation,

Again,

This does deserve a whole conversation,

But,

You know,

The person could say,

Well,

I want to be a father every day of the week.

I'm going to be depressed for the rest of my life that I have to share my children 50 50 with my ex wife or my ex husband.

And they'll fight that their whole lives.

Right.

And be upset about that their whole life.

Or they can say,

OK,

I had my vision of what my life would be like,

What my parent,

How I would be as a father to my children.

But a force greater than me that I can't change or control is telling me one thing.

That's not the way.

Your purpose as a father is to be the most amazing father 50 percent of the time.

Did you have your kids with you?

If you view life in that way,

You're much more open and accepting.

I think that's a big point,

Accepting about the curves that come up on the road of life.

And they always do.

And they always do.

Well,

We know kabbalistically that we're taught that desire and effort equals manifestation.

Right.

And again,

This gets tricky for people because you need to have those things in order to live a successful life.

On the other hand,

You also want to be equal parts open and flexible to responding to the feedback you're getting from the world.

Right.

Maybe you're being directed and guided in a different way.

So effort alone is not going to the trick and our desire.

Right.

Because I think if our desire is aligned with I want to do whatever my soul came to this world to do.

Then that's the seed level of our manifestation and bizarre says,

Right,

The seed contains the end result.

So when you make sure that your desire is aligned with whatever ultimately is best for you,

Of course,

You can have goals.

And you can push in a certain direction,

But you have to know when to take your foot off the accelerator and listen.

So and I was thinking about this because,

You know,

The question is how and why do our intentions sometimes not match our actions?

And I like that you kind of touched upon this because I had intended on on doing that as well.

And I want to go a little bit deeper.

But I often talk about creating a to be list versus a to do list because to do is very goal oriented.

To be actually is the more action part of that.

So,

You know,

And I've given this example,

We just had New Year's and a lot of people,

The resolution was to be healthier,

Right?

Lose 10 pounds,

Get in shape.

And so their to do list might be go to the gym every morning for an hour,

Cut back on sugar,

Get a nutritionist.

And then and that's all important,

Right?

Those are those are good steps to make.

But I think where we get stuck is that who we think we are and who we are are two different things.

And those need to be aligned.

Right?

Our thoughts create our experiences.

So you want to ask yourself,

Who does that person have to be in order to meet those goals?

Right?

You would need to be disciplined.

You need to be patient.

You need to be responsible.

And from that place,

You can actually affect change.

So I think it's really more about the being right as much as you are trying to go and go and go and get your way and maybe you do.

But then that might not bring you happiness.

It's really go back to that place of are my desires aligned with my ultimate purpose and for you to know what your ultimate purpose is.

You have to be open to all of the feedback you get from the world.

And I think that what you just said now is such an important point.

Because ultimately,

Why do people bulldoze through life or at least try to?

Because they believe that they know what is both best for them,

What will reveal their soul's purpose and what will make them happy.

And they're not willing to let go of what they think that is.

Right.

Right.

So how many times does a person actually achieve what they pushed for?

And it doesn't make them happy.

It's one of the cruel jokes about relationships is that so many people when they're not in a relationship,

When they're single,

They're so desperate to find somebody to get married.

And then so often,

More often than not,

Literally statistically,

Being in that relationship that they push for so much brings them the most pain they've experienced in their lives.

Even with kids,

We know unfortunately people who wanted to have children,

They had children and other people adopted children again.

And so too often,

That doesn't end well for them.

The children don't wind up growing up in the way that they wanted them to.

My point is that the ego wants us to believe that I know what's best for me all the time and I better push for that manifestation,

When in reality,

We have no idea.

We also think that hard work alone is going,

And effort's going to solve every problem that we have.

If I work hard enough,

I'm going to get what I want.

If I keep pushing,

Keep doing,

Keep trying,

Then everything's going to work out for me.

And hard work alone,

We know can't fix a relationship.

It takes two people.

It can't fix a health issue.

Hard work can't fix a sick pet or a mentally ill friend or family member.

Hard work is only going to take you so far.

And then something else has to pick up.

But we hold on to these false beliefs,

Right?

If I do this,

I'll be,

Then that's going to happen.

If I work hard,

Then I'll get the money.

If I pray hard enough,

Then I can change the outcome.

And it's not about effort.

Then people get exhausted and they get,

They end up giving up,

Right?

They get disappointed.

And so what happens when it doesn't work,

Right?

When you believe that will alone should do it,

That's the time where you really have to tap into something greater.

And I think that's where certainty really comes in.

Yeah,

Which I think the point is that if you live life with the humility that we spoke about before,

And even if it doesn't make sense to you in this moment,

Besides the silliness of trying to fight reality,

Right,

Is also to say,

If this is where I am at,

If this is the situation,

That means that in ways that I can understand,

But most probably in ways that I can't understand,

This is the best thing for me.

I think that it comes down to belief systems.

I see this a lot.

Like the example you gave with the father that wants the time with his child,

Just because,

You know,

We believe we are deserving or undeserving of things,

Right?

If a father actually thinks he's not really deserving,

He's going to fight,

Fight,

Fight for that,

Even if he doesn't believe he should have it,

Right?

It's kind of like,

I'm going to prove that I'm worthwhile.

I think that we have to talk about some tools here because when we have a belief,

It's programmed in our mind and it's very hard to go away from that.

So we're talking about,

You know,

When to stop and when to change.

But I think we have to talk about also changing the way that we think.

And there are some tips that work for that.

So instead of telling yourself,

You know,

Don't think that it's more productive to create a new positive belief.

We can do that through mantras.

We can do that through positive affirmations.

We can do that even through reaching the theta brainwave,

Right,

Through meditation.

There's many different ways to get to your place,

To get your brain to a place where it's open and you can teach it and train it new things.

So when that bulldozing no longer works,

When that push no longer works,

It's really about surrendering and getting to a place where you can get into a calm,

Where you can train your brain to hear and to learn new ways.

Because it's not just by will alone,

Right?

It's not only by connecting with your soul and your spirit.

You also have to be able to allow all of you to surrender into something else.

When you go through life with the humility of not knowing.

Well,

Let's talk about not knowing for a second.

I mean,

That's everybody's greatest fear is the unknown.

No,

But what I'm saying is,

Again,

I want certain things in life and I will go towards those certain things,

But I am very much aware of the fact that just because I desire them,

It doesn't mean that they're best for me and that the way they,

I will achieve them might not be what is best for me either.

But I want to challenge you for a second.

Okay.

I think you're going and I agree,

But I think we really have to break this down.

If somebody is desiring health and they're ill.

But there are certain things that- Very few things,

3% of life's desires.

I'd like to feel the 3%.

Okay.

I'm saying,

Yeah,

I understand that that's much more challenging.

I mean,

I had a call today with somebody who just got diagnosed with Parkinson's and obviously it is those moments in life that are within that mean a person either loses or is about to lose something that is truly,

Obviously very important,

But that's only 3%.

97% of the time that we're bulldozing,

It's not because of health or family,

It's everything else.

And we can talk about it is important to talk about how do you deal with the challenges in the 3% of things that are truly important.

But I think the reality is that for most of our listeners,

It's the 97% of the bulldozing towards things that we think is what we want that is the most important to stop and the most important to shift our consciousness about.

Because again,

Like I said,

The humility and I'll use myself as an example.

My desire in life is to bring wisdom to as many people as possible.

And I have ways to do that.

And I wake up every single morning and I have lists of things to do and I try to accomplish them.

And the beauty of this consciousness is the fact that I say,

You know what,

This is what I think.

But if the creator thinks that this shouldn't happen and that should happen,

I am so open to that because I really trust that there's a greater consciousness than what I have right now.

And that's what I'm asking our listeners to do.

And it very much relates by the way to our episode last week.

Every day there are big and small things that we want to do.

And every day there's going to be a roadblock that comes.

Sometimes that roadblock is for me to overcome.

And sometimes that roadblock is for me to say,

One second,

This might not be something you should be pursuing.

And only if you come with humility and only if you come with an understanding that the universe is giving you these messages.

It does not mean that every time a wall comes up that you never push through it.

Sometimes it's the right thing,

But it's a different mindset with which you come.

You say,

I don't know,

This is coming up,

I need to think.

And after I take the time to think and with humility say,

No,

I still need to push through it.

But not always.

And I think that begins with humility.

And the second part is in then being open to the messages.

What are they telling me?

100%.

So,

Before we go to a letter,

What would you like to leave our listeners with from this podcast today?

Well,

I think the big picture is when we resist and we try to bulldoze ahead even when it's not in our best interest.

We're the ones who ultimately feel pain from that or stress.

And we run the risk of also trampling over others unintentionally.

When we're in the mindset of push,

Go,

Don't stop at any cost,

Just keep up the hard work.

We tend to lack patience,

Mercy,

Acceptance,

Forgiveness,

All the key ingredients to successful relationships and ultimately our own happiness.

So I would say next time you find yourself not getting what you want,

Trying to bulldoze ahead anyway,

Reconsider your approach.

Maybe this is an opportunity to switch your tactics,

Try something new.

Maybe it's time to ask for help and maybe it's just time to let go.

And what I would add to that is that what we're presenting here is not just,

I think,

A way to make better decisions and being open to what the universe is telling us to change,

But most importantly,

It ultimately leads to the ability to be at peace all the time.

Because when you're living with humility and open to changes in this way,

On the path that you've chosen,

Decided on,

You're much more accepting.

And that is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself.

Rather than,

As we often do,

Fight what is happening,

Accept and listen to it.

Because it's not just accepting and giving up,

It's really accepting and then moving forward and up.

Yes.

Or maybe diverting to another path.

But there's movement there.

That will ultimately make you happy.

Exactly.

Very much so.

But what I'd say is that if you're able to master this and really,

On a daily basis,

Practice this,

Listening to what the universe is telling me,

Especially when it seems like a wall,

And knowing all the time,

I don't know the best way forward.

I think it's this way.

I'll go this way until something tells me different.

That acceptance of the roadblocks in life is what gives us the ability to live life completely and always in peace.

So I'd like to share a story from one of our listeners.

Hi,

Michael and Monica.

It should be Monica and Michael.

No,

It's fine.

Thank you so much for all that you do to help us live lives of inspiration and change.

I was walking back from work from a workout today,

Listening to the latest spiritually hungry podcast in one year.

I passed by a girl that looked like she was right around my age in her twenties,

Wearing only a dress and stylish shoes.

I'm thinking to myself,

It's 25 degrees below freezing temperature and she must be so cold.

But I kept walking.

Then I stopped and thought about what Michael and Monica would say.

And I remember Monica mentioned in a podcast that she offers help to strangers,

Even if they give her weird looks because she knows it gets her points and positive energy that'll come back to support her.

So I turned around to follow her and offer her a sweater.

I was wearing two.

As I got closer,

I started to say,

Excuse me and Hey,

But she didn't turn around.

I was sure she thought I was nuts or even dangerous.

I got closer and said,

You must be so cold.

You want a sweater?

Unfortunately she declined saying she lives very close.

So there was no need,

But I was happy.

At least I tried.

Then walking back in my original direction towards home,

I received a high five in comments such as good job.

And you are a good man from two women walking by and a group of construction workers nearby,

All of which I thought was kind and also so funny that they noticed.

I know I wouldn't have went out of my way to offer help to a stranger if I hadn't thought of you too.

The experience took two minutes out of my day,

But left me with a real lasting impression.

Thank you again for making such a beautiful and inspiring impact in our lives with this podcast and all your wisdom.

P.

S.

If this is a story you'd like to share with others,

Feel free to reward it to sound more over your word.

It's already,

You didn't need to edit that.

All my love.

So thank you very much for sharing that story.

Yes,

Very inspiring because in life,

Inspirations come big and small.

I think one of the things we sometimes get caught up in what we do,

That the big change,

The big shifts,

But I'm sure,

And this is what inspires us as well,

That the little things,

Little changes that our listeners do throughout their day and throughout their lives.

So using this letter and story as an example,

Please continue to send your stories,

Questions,

Comments,

Topic suggestions to Monica and Michael at kabbalah.

Com.

We will read,

We read all of them.

We will share some of them and it inspires us to hear them.

Of course,

It inspires our listeners to make sure you send.

It's funny,

Who are we talking to?

Oh,

You were talking yesterday to some of the teachers and somebody said that every once in a while they're about to send us a text,

But they get either nervous or they delete it.

And we said,

No,

Never deleted.

Always send it.

And for our listeners as well,

If you're doubting whether you should send or should not send,

Definitely send us any question,

Any story,

Any inspiration that you have to Monica and Michael at kabbalah.

Com.

And as always,

Make sure that you are sharing this podcast with everybody you know,

That you're giving it five star reviews on Apple and writing reviews and sharing it because it helps us reach and share more light and wisdom,

Inspiration with more and more people.

And as always,

I hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Bye.

And we'll see you next week.

Bye.

Reviews

This is a brilliant show. Very good words from you learn-ed folk. Thanks!

A great episode and the story at the end was heartfelt. Thank you!

Thank You! :- )
Grateful and amazed how much learning and wisdom I receive from both of you!
Muchas Garcias :-)

I really enjoyed the discussion and gems around this topic. Gives me more to consider as I invite change into my life.