23. Transformational Giving: The True Power Of Sharing

In this episode of Spiritually Hungry, Monica and Michael delve into the transformative energy of true giving – sharing from the heart without conditions or judgment – and its tremendous benefits not only for the recipient but for ourselves as the givers. Tune in as they shed a light on why sharing is crucial to our growth and, ultimately, our fulfillment in life.

Transcript

My intention in this conversation today is to really help us all get to a place where it's just like you give because that's just the natural,

Obvious,

Normal thing to do.

The reality is that the energy that is money,

That is time,

That is wisdom,

That is anything that we have the ability to share with somebody else is not ours.

It is a gift.

We call it from the creator,

From the universe.

It is a gift given to us.

There's actually something called the warm glow effect and it's that amazing pleasurable feeling you get when you give.

I mean,

It's scientifically proven and the more that you give it,

The more you actually look for that feeling,

Right?

There is nothing more rewarding and satisfying as putting others before yourself.

If you want to have the most amazing life,

If you want to have the most joy,

The most fulfillment with everything that you have,

The only way it's that supply blade is by making sure that you're giving.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry Podcast,

Episode 23.

We're excited that you're joining us on this Giving Tuesday.

And so we thought that the podcast should be exactly about that,

About giving and charity and sharing and the ways that we do that.

I often tell you and share with you how much our kids inspire me and really motivate me to see the world through their eyes,

Especially their first experiences of things that happened to them in the world that maybe we don't take notice of anymore because it's normal.

It's funny,

Just I didn't mean to cut you off,

But just today,

Abigail- You said it a lot,

By the way.

Yes.

Actually,

I mean to cut you off then.

Abigail today had a candle lit here in the office and she was with me here and then she said,

You should give your next lecture about how a candle is like our soul.

It's always trying to go up.

Oh,

I love that,

My little spunky.

It is.

Oh,

I have to write that in my book of quotes,

The children's book of quotes.

But the story I want to share,

And I've told you this before,

But it was a little while ago and Abigail was having a dilemma over her grapes.

She had a bowl of grapes and she had pulled them out or a bag of grapes and- Didn't you tell the story on podcast?

No,

I told it at a different thing that we did.

So thank you for that.

I want to make sure that our listeners- I'm certain I gave it great thought and intention of what I wanted to share today.

So she took out her bag and one by one,

The children that were there came over and asked her,

Can I have one?

Can I have one?

And now I think she got one for herself actually in this process and she was down to her last grape and a child comes over and asks,

Can I have one?

And I could see Abigail.

She kind of looked at me and I could tell she wanted the grape,

But then pretty quickly she decided to share her last grape.

In all honesty,

I was like,

Oh my God,

I don't have more snacks.

She's going to be hungry.

Maybe she should have had the last grape.

But of course I was so proud that she made that choice.

And it got me thinking that children are much simpler in their giving than adults are.

We don't give the way that children do because we have more hangups around our giving,

Which we're going to unpack and go through.

But I think a big part of that is that we want to make sure that our generosity is going to somebody we think is deserving of receiving it and also that it will be appreciated.

And I don't think children have that calculation or that agenda when they decide to share.

So for instance- It's definitely true,

Right?

Yeah.

They don't,

They just give.

Yeah.

Because in our experience,

What we've seen with kids- For the most part.

Even if we walk by a homeless person who clearly is in need,

Right?

We calculate how are they going to spend the money we're going to give them?

What are they going to do with it?

Or we judge them for being in the situation they're in.

Or if we decide to give,

We might give a dollar when we have $5 in our pocket,

Right?

And that's one example.

But the reality is even with those people who we like or even love- Yeah,

We're not there yet.

We're not there yet though.

We're going to get into all of that.

But it's kind of a crazy thought and reality.

Yeah.

And we are so calculated in our giving,

Which is sad.

And then when we do give,

Sometimes it's out of obligation,

Right?

Even with family members.

Or we give it with a little bit of resentment or judgment even.

One of my favorite goals and teachings is around generosity of spirit,

Right?

And it's not just about giving,

Giving money.

And you meet people in life,

Right?

You can tell.

And hopefully we aspire to that where there are people who you can tell they're really of generous spirit,

Whether they're giving you money or gift or their time.

No,

They just get such joy and delight,

Not only giving,

But watching you receive.

Right.

Right.

And we love our kids as well.

But there was a quote from Pope Francis I actually liked.

And he was talking about the practice of giving.

And he said that there are many excuses to justify why one does not give to a beggar.

Because if I give money and he just spends it on wine,

Right,

Then why would I give for that?

But then Pope Francis continues.

He says,

Giving something to someone in need is always right.

Right?

So what if they're enjoying a glass of,

They buy a bottle of wine with it or whatever it is.

But why is it for us?

Why are we trying ourselves to be so unforgiving of those who really need?

Judgmental.

It's interesting because the Talmud,

It speaks about charity.

It says that if somebody was a very wealthy man,

Charity to him would be even to buy him a carriage of beautiful horses.

Because that's what he was used to before he lost his money.

And that idea that,

Again,

It's important to remove our judgment as much as we can from our giving.

Yeah.

I think that's a place to start.

There's also,

This really inspired me too.

And I just want to set up with these kinds of real examples because I think we're really far,

A lot of us,

Of where we are at with our giving and how we give and who we think is deserving of it.

And I think my intention in this conversation today is to really help us all get to a place where it's just like you give because that's just the natural,

Obvious,

Normal thing to do.

Right?

I want to make this a normal idea,

But there was this episode of Chopped.

I think most people know what this program is.

This is a food program on the Food Network.

And basically you have 30 minutes and you get mystery ingredients and whoever comes with the most creative but also edible,

Tasteful dish after the three,

First course,

Main,

And then dessert is the winner.

So this one episode,

This one chef,

He could see this.

There's like four people and you're in one big kitchen,

But you have your own area.

And he could see in the station next to him,

The chef was really struggling on how to dismantle a crab.

He hadn't worked with a crab before.

So the first chef leans over and he says,

If you use scissors,

It will really help.

And then he goes on to instruct him.

Now they have very little time on the clock for each course.

He goes on to show him how to do it.

So when they go to the first round of judges,

In the first competition,

The judge says,

What are you doing?

Nice guys don't win or they finished last.

And the guy kind of said,

Well,

You know,

It was the nice thing to do.

You know,

He needed help.

I wanted to help him.

And you could already see with this one chef that he wasn't really there to win.

He was so enjoying the process of it all.

He was enjoying the experience of it.

And in essence,

He had already won,

Right?

Because he did win ultimately.

But he was already winning because he was winning this thing called life.

And I thought that was so inspiring because it's so against what we see as natural that people even question when people act kindly in those ways,

Especially when it might take something away from themselves in giving to another.

Right.

And when I think about it,

You know,

We do have this opportunity both amongst ourselves,

But really when we talk to other people and to students.

And for me,

I always like to start with the benefit that we receive.

You know,

We know that spirituality is not really many benefits,

But you want to start with the spiritual benefit,

The spiritual benefits,

Scientifically and health.

And it all supports this thing.

But let's start with the spirit,

Right?

Because I think that one of one of the aspects that will truly motivate,

Hopefully,

Our listeners and ourselves to become greater givers and more important,

Maybe not so much even just the action of giving,

But the generosity of spirit in the giving.

You can have two people give the same thing,

But one of them is clearly doing it with a generous spirit and the other one is not doing it for other reasons.

And that is this,

That we do not own what is ours.

And again,

That's a big concept,

But I think it's really important to understand that money that we have,

Time that we have,

Wisdom that we have is not ours.

Once you take ownership on it,

Once you really think the reason I have this money in my pocket or my bank account is because I'm the smartest person in the world and I earned it,

It's all mine.

And you might be very smart and you might've earned it,

But the reality is that the energy that is money,

That is time,

That is wisdom,

That is anything that we have the ability to share with somebody else is not ours.

It is a gift.

You call it,

We call it from the creator,

From the universe.

It is a gift given to us.

And the question then becomes,

If I understand that- A lot of people don't see it that way.

They think it's their blood,

Sweat,

And tears that got them to where they are or their intelligence- But the reality is- Or the sacrifices they made through their two people- And I agree with you obviously,

But I really want to unpack it a bit more because I think that even often when people pursue things in life,

A career or whatever it is that they've now accumulated,

They really think it was on their own earning alone,

On their own will,

Their own desire,

Their own hard work.

And I don't know how often people really see it as a partnership with something greater than that.

Right.

And I think that in a way that would posit that you'd have to be even slightly intelligent to realize that there are people as smart,

If not smarter than you,

That yes,

It might be that you are smart and that you worked really hard and you really put in hours.

But at the end of the day,

There were many other factors that came into the fact that you now have that dollar in your bank account.

And I quoted this before in one of our podcasts,

And this is true,

But Bill Gates said that in order for him to have the success that he had,

A million things had to go his way.

So no matter how smart Bill Gates was,

No matter how inherently intelligent he was,

And no matter how much time and effort he put in,

He realizes that there were many millions and millions of other factors.

And I think that most people,

At least if you think about it,

You realize,

Again,

As I sit here right now and I have the opportunity to have gained some knowledge from wisdom and I have the opportunity to share it with other people,

I know that the reason why I have had that and have that is not because I'm the smartest person in the world or I invested the most amount of hours.

I think that I did invest time and I did take the time to study,

But at the end of the day,

There are other factors.

And we call it the creator,

You can call it the universe,

But the reality is you have to start there.

Let me challenge you for a second.

Do you think a person needs to be conscious that there is the energy of the light of the creator?

Because I wonder,

Right?

Okay,

Well first answer the question.

Yeah,

I think absolutely yes,

Because the question would have to be,

Why are there so many people that have,

Whatever it is,

It could be money.

It could be time.

It could be knowledge and are unhappy.

What makes money joyful?

What makes time joyful?

What makes any gift that we have joyful?

And my answer to that would be that there's an energy in it and that energy either comes or goes,

But it's not just the dollar amount.

It's not just the amount of time.

It's not just the wisdom.

And I think the good thing is- I think it's also appreciation of all of those things.

Well,

That's part of it,

Right?

But again,

Appreciation because it gives more energy into the gifts that you have.

Right,

Because appreciation can't exist unless you are already in an elevated state of consciousness and awareness.

Exactly.

But that's why I think that the most important reason why we should be motivated to give,

And I know for myself,

One of the main reasons that I am motivated to share in whatever way that I can,

Is because I know that if I want the gifts that I have to be giving me endless joy,

I need to be sharing of them.

And that's just a spiritual rule.

You can,

And you know,

We look in the world,

There are many people who try to fight that reality.

It doesn't end well.

So what I would say to our listeners is that any gift that you have,

Again,

Some of our listeners have money that they could share.

Some of our listeners have other gifts that they can share.

Some of our listeners have wisdom they can share.

Some of our listeners have time that they can share.

What I'm saying,

And I can say this not just because I've seen this reality in my own life,

But I've seen this in the reality of thousands of people,

That when you take the time and the effort to share of your gifts because you know that they're not mine,

But they're given to me and they're given to me for the reason of sharing them with other people.

And the most important benefit that I get from sharing my gifts is that I get to enjoy what remains with me.

And that is the most important thing.

There's a verse that says,

Unfortunately often,

Wealth given to a person for his detriment.

There are many people who have gifts and not only does it not bring them pleasure and enjoyment and fulfillment,

As a matter of fact,

It is often the road to their demise or at least the road to their unhappiness.

Can you expand on that?

Does it say more about why certain people.

.

.

We've talked about this,

But I think it's a really interesting- Yes.

When a person's ego takes over the gift and that thought is,

There's a verse,

My strength and my genius has brought this to me on its own.

I am the sole,

Therefore proprietor,

The sole owner of any one of my gifts.

That thought,

That consciousness around the gifts that we have- Kind of makes a sever of- Exactly.

It cuts it off from its source.

Call it the creator,

Call it the universe.

It cuts it off from the source.

No gift.

It's kind of like then there's a limb left,

But it's a lifeless limb.

Exactly.

It's like if you take a limb off a tree,

Right?

So it stays for the first day- It still looks like it,

Yeah.

And it dries up.

The flower is beautiful for the first five days,

Six days.

Remember the first time Abigail picked a flower off something,

She's like,

What happened to it?

She picked it,

It's so beautiful to give to me,

Right?

And then within slowly minute by minute- They wither and then they die.

And that's unfortunately,

And again,

This is both sad and maybe scary,

But also exciting and inspiring is that most of us,

All of us have gifts.

The choice that we have is not whether we get gifts,

We all get gifts,

But do they remain alive or are they dead?

And again,

This is why you can find many people with great gifts,

Many people with great money,

Or even many people with just money who do not get the chance to enjoy them.

And maybe more importantly,

Don't have the chance to extract from them the amount of joy and energy and fulfillment that they can.

So for our listeners,

And I can say that this is really what drives a lot of my desire to be giving,

I know two things for sure.

Whatever gifts I have,

I did not receive them simply by dint of my work.

Yes,

I invested time,

Effort,

And so on.

But the reality is there are greater forces that allowed me to hold on to that gift,

To receive that gift.

And the only way that I can make sure that my gifts remain alive and alive,

Therefore,

They give me pleasure and joy,

That any money that I have,

Any wisdom that I have,

Any time that I have is invested with great joy and fulfillment is if I'm giving a portion of them.

Now,

Biblically,

They say at least 10% of your time,

Of your money,

Of your gift.

And why is it 10%?

Well,

It's actually,

And again,

Here we can go a little bit deeper because they say it's between 10 and 20%,

10 and 20%.

Because what happens when you're,

Let's say you have,

We can use money,

But time maybe is easier for people to understand because none of our listeners does not have some time that they can use to share with other people.

24 hour period in a day,

You sleep for 16 hours,

You have 16 hours.

You have to work eight or nine hours,

You still have another amount of hours you can give.

If you don't share any of those hours,

What you're saying actively,

This is mine.

It's all mine.

And therefore,

I can decide to give you an hour of my time or not,

It's all mine.

That consciousness,

It's all mine,

Makes my hours dead.

So whether I don't,

If I don't give you that hour,

That hour is not going to be a lot.

Not only is that one hour not going to be alive for me,

The other 24 hours of mine are not going to have the life force that they're meant to have.

So the importance,

And this is why again,

I don't view sharing as a nice thing to do.

My father would often say this quote,

It's one of the most selfish and selfish in a good way,

Things that we must do.

I want to enjoy my 24 hours.

I want to enjoy the money that I have in my bank.

I want to enjoy the wisdom that I have.

I want to enjoy whatever gift that I have.

And I know that there's one way to make sure that it's alive if I give a portion of it.

You give 10% of it,

You give 20% of it,

Your choice.

But what the action,

Now by the way.

And it's not just with money.

It's also with time.

Absolutely.

It's anything that you want to be alive.

And it's any way that you're,

Again,

That's why it's selfish,

Right?

You're giving without thinking of yourself,

But in the giving,

You're actually giving the most to yourself.

By the way,

I don't know if it's,

I'm being honest.

I don't,

I mean,

Again,

Sometimes,

You know,

You just do the actions of,

Hopefully you're in the,

You're in the routine of giving,

So you're just giving a reason.

I can say that I actively think about this every day.

No,

We both are looking for active ways to give.

Because I'm not,

Not just because,

Not because I'm a good person or a spiritual person.

No,

But it feels amazing.

I don't know of any thing that feels better than that.

There's actually something called the warm glow effect.

And it's that amazing,

Pleasurable feeling you get when you give.

I mean,

It's scientifically proven.

And the more that you give it,

The more you actually look for that,

That feeling,

Right?

It's,

There is nothing more rewarding and satisfying as putting others before yourself.

Right.

And I,

But I would say the reason for that,

The spiritual reason behind that is because by giving,

You're actually giving life to the rest of that,

That you're holding onto.

So then it makes everything that you have,

Have that kind of energy that keeps feeding you and keeps giving you and keeps nurturing you.

And that's why there's a,

There's a verse in the Bible.

It says,

And this is understood in many different ways,

But the verse literally translated says charity,

Right?

Everything will save from death.

It's the original Hebrew.

Now we understand it in a deeper way.

It saves all of your gifts from dying.

You have wisdom.

You don't want it to die,

Which means you want to continue to enjoy it.

You have time.

You don't want it to die.

You want to continue to enjoy it.

Share,

Share,

Share,

Share.

Give a percent of it.

And then what is left in your hand will remain alive.

What's interesting.

I don't know about you,

But if I'm studying something with the intention of sharing it,

I remember it.

But if I'm just reading something for myself alone,

It's like,

Ah,

What,

What was that?

It's a completely,

It takes on different form and it does have life to it actually,

Because the intention is that it's,

This is going to go through me to somebody else,

Whatever that one,

That thing is.

And actually there's a beautiful teaching from of course,

Who says,

And he writes this about himself,

That he thanked his students because in his words,

He did not necessarily deserve the wisdom that he got.

But because he had students who wanted to receive wisdom for him,

The creator sent wisdom through him.

Very powerful.

And that's kind of another important spiritual trick.

You want to have more money.

And that's why,

By the way,

It says in the Talmud,

It says,

Give a 10th so that you will become wealthy.

That's literally the quote,

Give a 10th of your money so that you become wealthy.

Because what happens is when the,

And this is the system at work.

This is,

Again,

You call it the creator,

Call it the universe.

What did you say last week,

The guy in the sky?

The big guy in the sky.

You like that?

The big guy in the sky.

Somebody actually texted me today.

It's like Michael said.

The guy in the sky.

That the system,

The way it works is that when you are giving of again,

10 to 20% of whatever it is,

The gift that you have,

You get more of it and more of it and more of it.

And there's actually,

Do I have time for,

It's a little lengthy story,

But it's one of my favorite stories.

So it was a great Kabbalist.

His name was the author.

I'll buzz you.

Yes.

That's your secret.

Come on.

So he was a great Kabbalist.

He had thousands of students and people would come to him for spiritual problems and physical problems as well.

And he had a student who was very close to him who was also very wealthy.

And whenever a student came to the Abterebi with a problem,

He needed money,

He needed a loan,

He needed a financial assistant.

The Abterebi would say,

Go to my student and he will help you.

His name was Jacob.

Go to Jacob.

And this went on for years.

Every time a student came to the Abterebi with financial problems,

He would send it to a student,

Jacob.

Jacob would help and the student would either repay the loan or whatever.

One year,

Jacob was going through some financial challenges and the Abterebi sent a student who was having needed a loan to Jacob.

And Jacob said,

Listen,

Whenever our teacher sends students to me,

I always share of my money.

I always lend of my money.

This is not a good time for me.

I'm really so sorry.

I'm not going to lend to the teacher,

The Kabbalists.

Now I can't help them.

The teacher kept on sending students.

Then the third student came back to the Kabbalists,

To the Abterebi,

The Abterebi and he said,

You know what,

I have another student.

His name is Joseph.

Joseph is not very wealthy,

But I know he listened to my words.

Tell him that I asked for him to help you.

So the student goes to Joseph and says,

Listen,

I'm having financial difficulties.

I need a loan.

Can you help me?

And Joseph does not have any money,

Not a wealthy man.

He says,

You know what,

If our teacher said that I can help,

I will help.

And he took the time.

He went all over town asking for people to lend him money so he can lend the money to that student.

And this kept happening.

So the Abterebi kept sending students who needed financial help no longer to Jacob,

But to Joseph who was not.

And over the next few months,

Suddenly Joseph's fortunes changed.

Started having a lot of money.

He started,

Business started going much better for him.

He started making more money and more money and more money.

And Jacob,

The previously wealthy student started losing his money.

So after a few months of this,

Jacob realizes what happened,

Right?

He really messed up.

And even though he had his financial difficulties,

He should have listened to his teacher and helped all the students who came to him.

So he comes to his teacher,

He says,

Listen,

I realize what happened.

Please forgive me.

I realized that because I stopped sharing my money with the rest of your students,

Therefore I've lost my money.

And I see that Joseph,

Who is now helping the rest of the students,

Has gotten so much money.

Please forgive me so that this loss of money stops so that I can gain back my wealth.

And the after-reper says,

You completely misunderstood what has been happening.

He says,

Let me tell you the truth.

Before I came down into this world,

It was seen that I was going to be a leader,

That I was going to have many students,

People would come to me with problems.

So they said,

You know what?

You need to be wealthy so that you have money to share so that when people come to you with problems,

You can help them on a physical level as well as the spiritual.

But my soul said,

I really don't want to be involved worrying about so much money taking care of so much money.

I proposed,

My soul said,

That whatever wealth that is mine,

You give to one of my close students.

They'll listen to me,

They'll do with my money whatever I want done.

That way I can help the students who need the money and I don't have to worry about it.

So Jacob,

He says to him,

You were never holding onto your money.

You were holding onto my money.

And as long as you were doing with my money what I wanted to be done,

You got to hold onto it.

Once you stop doing with my money what I wanted done,

My money was given to somebody else.

In this case,

Joseph.

This is both scary,

But hopefully more importantly,

Inspiring and motivating to share.

If you're sitting on a gift and all of us are,

The gift of time,

The gift of money,

The gift of wisdom,

Share it.

It is not yours.

You are given permission to hold onto it and enjoy it.

And you're part of your responsibility.

As long as you are giving parts of it to others.

And then you get to hold onto it and then you actually get it to grow.

And more importantly,

You get to enjoy it.

Yeah,

That's really powerful.

I really like that.

Thank you.

Because I don't think that people ever look at it in that way at all.

Again,

It comes back to the ego version of success and why I have and that also gives us permission to look down at those who don't have like the beggar on the street or anybody else in any other situation that is less fortunate,

Right?

Right.

And then that becomes your get out of free card.

I don't need to give,

You know,

I worked hard for this.

They should have an honest day's work.

It becomes that kind of conversation.

That's pure ego.

And again,

That's pure ego.

And you know,

There's that famous quote my mother would often say,

There but for the grace of God go I.

The second you start thinking,

Looking down anybody for whatever,

They don't have wisdom,

They don't have intelligence,

They don't have money.

What you're saying consciously or unconsciously,

I have what I have because I have earned it is mine or mine totally mine.

That cuts it off.

It cuts it off from source.

It doesn't allow you to receive it.

You know,

Like,

You know,

Some working on children's book,

He thinking about,

You know,

You have somebody who's a lot of money and they're in kingdom,

They eat,

They eat and nothing,

Nothing satiates their appetite.

It's never enough because every day,

Morning to evening is spent.

How can I have more things for me?

And from that place,

You know,

You feel full,

But in the really unfulfilling ways.

And I also want to talk about transformative sharing a little bit because,

You know,

I think a lot of people even when we do give,

Right,

Let's say people have a lot of money and they give them ways that are comfortable to them.

That's of course very nice and that's great,

But it's not going to create the spiritual transformation that can occur in giving.

So for instance,

If somebody is a billionaire and they give a lot of money to charity and different organizations,

Of course that's generous,

Right?

But if they also spend most days yelling at their employees and berating them,

The transformative way to share with them to be kind to them and find ways to give to those people instead of giving the millions or in addition to,

Right,

There needs to be some aspect where we go against our nature and what's difficult for us or what doesn't come naturally.

And again,

Using the example of the billionaire,

But it's really any person,

Any one of us who gives,

I think it's really important that we My point in that story is that I don't think,

I think we separate the two,

Right?

Charity is I'm going to give in this way that's easier,

But it's very generous.

So also that feeds the ego.

I feel good about myself.

And then we don't actually look at the ways that we're not acting kindly to people because that's also sharing of our energy and our time and our essence,

Right?

Which is probably more important.

And I don't think that people necessarily look at giving.

We assign giving and sharing in certain ways,

Right?

This is the charity I'll give it to when I need to have a tax write off in the year or whatever that is.

Right.

And I do think actually it's even dangerous when,

And sometimes this happens and you know,

And again,

You have to be very wealthy for this to happen.

I think this happens to all of us to some degree when you're giving for the pure purpose of your ego receiving,

Right?

I want everybody to know that I'm such a good person.

And again,

Not that there's that,

That,

That still that action,

You know,

We feel good about ourselves.

That each person has to take personal inventory on why it is they give and the ways that they give.

Right.

Right.

But because like we said before,

I think one of the main reasons you want to give is because you want your blessings to be alive.

You want your gifts to remain alive.

And there's another part,

Which I think you touched upon.

And that is,

You know,

Again,

Another quote that my mother would often repeat it's from the Midrash.

It says that when we come into this world,

We come in with clenched fists and when we leave this world,

Our hands are open.

And what that means is that when we come into this world,

We come with the ego,

What we call the selfishness,

What we call kabbalistically,

The desire to receive for the self alone.

I want to take everything for myself.

The way we're meant to leave this world is transformed where we have given with open hands more than we have received.

And one of the great Iraqi kabbalists,

The Bani Ishkhais said that,

You know,

If you look at the human hand and right,

Four fingers are basically the four fingers are on the same level with eight fingers on the same level.

And then the thumbs,

Right,

Are in a lower level.

They represent the 20%,

Right?

If you have 10 fingers,

The two thumbs represent the 20%.

And that is that.

.

.

You want me to play a game?

Yes,

Let's play a game.

Let's play a game.

Okay,

We're playing this one.

You remember this one?

When you just have a name,

This one have a name.

Those who are listening to us can know when you put these hands.

Anyway,

So.

.

.

Well,

This podcast isn't about competition,

But we'll save that for the next time.

Because we know how you'd win.

Except in Scrabble.

You always win in Scrabble.

That's what you do,

Mr.

Breg.

What was I saying?

Oh,

20%.

20% You have less thumbs.

Yes,

So that when the hands are open,

You are aware of the fact that really only 80% is yours and 20% represented by the thumbs.

And one-fifth of the 20,

Two out of 10,

That's what you need to share with the world.

That's what you need to share with others.

And that really needs to be our life progression.

If I.

.

.

We know that each one of us came to this world to reveal our potential,

Our soul,

Our light,

However you want to refer to it.

And the only way that that happens is if I am actively sharing of myself at least 20%.

There is no way of being born into this world and leaving this world as we are meant to,

Which means having grown and revealed our potential unless we have been giving at least 20%.

Money,

Time,

Gifts.

And that's a choice.

It must be a choice.

It has to be a choice because it's not going.

.

.

And again,

Sometimes,

One of the things I marvel at is we often.

.

.

We get to meet a lot of spiritual people and we can talk about other people,

We can talk about ourselves.

And sometimes you see people who are.

.

.

They meditate and they do their yoga or even they study spirituality and it so often becomes an ego-focused taking.

I'm going to meditate more.

I'm going to study more.

I'm going to gain more wisdom.

This is a very simple rule.

If you are not giving 20% of everything that you have,

Of every gift that you have to others,

You're not growing.

It's just that simple.

You might be a good person,

You might be a spiritual person,

You might be sharing a little bit.

You're not giving 10% to 20% of your time,

10% to 20% of your money,

10% to 20% of your gifts.

It's not possible that you're going to accomplish what your soul can do in this world to accomplish.

And by the way,

That's what makes us happy.

I think we need to realize all those other things,

I'm not going to be stressed,

I'm going to be meditating and be calm and look how I don't react and other people lose their temper and you're still not going to feel fulfilled and happy at the end of the day.

This process of transformation and growth has to happen for you to get to where you want to get to.

And by the way,

Like you said,

I think one of the keys and the thing that's important to me,

We asked the question,

How do I know which of the sharing is most powerful for me?

And the thing that's most powerful for you to share might not be like there might be one person for him sharing money is much more powerful for somebody else sharing their time,

For one person who might be sharing their gifts.

And by powerful,

I mean it's the thing that's harder for them to do,

More difficult.

And therefore will have the greatest effect,

Right?

Because what I would like our listeners to really understand is that,

Again,

There's great reasons to be a spiritual person,

A good person to share,

But that's not really what motivates me.

What motivates me is I know that I,

Like I said before,

I want my gifts to be giving me so much.

I want to enjoy every dollar that I have.

I want to enjoy every minute that I have in life.

I want to enjoy every inspiration that I have,

Every piece of wisdom that I have.

Maybe we talk about this a lot.

Like I'll say,

I'm going to do this thing.

It's really uncomfortable and that's why I'm going to do it,

Right?

We have those conversations a lot.

And that's what we want our listeners to know.

When we talk about sharing and now hopefully we've motivated our listeners to give because we all want to grow.

We all want to be,

We all want to enjoy our lives.

We all want to enjoy our gifts.

What is the most difficult thing for you to share?

Is it your time?

Is it your money?

Is it your wisdom?

Is it one of your other gifts?

That's where you should be concentrating your giving because that will have the most powerful effect on you.

By the way,

I think that a lot of people,

You know,

I like to play devil's advocate and really,

I think I go in between lots of different worlds,

Spiritual world,

Physical world,

Just different people,

Which I love because I love to learn from everybody's story.

And I think that a lot of people struggle with giving because they don't know how to balance giving and receiving.

So very often they give because they're people pleasing,

Right?

Or it's the nice thing to do or how it look if they.

.

.

It gets very complicated,

Right?

So when they get- I'm against all those.

Right,

Right.

But I think it's important to bring it up.

And I think that sometimes people who are in that head space,

When they give,

It's giving for the wrong reasons and to the wrong people.

And then they might even resent in their giving because they didn't really want to and they felt forced.

I actually learned this lesson from my youngest teacher,

Abigail,

Our daughter,

Our youngest,

Because she seemed to have this whole giving and receiving thing very balanced.

It was a few years ago and it was her birthday and my best friend was in town and I said to her,

You know,

We're going to take you out to a restaurant,

Wherever you want to go.

She said she wanted to go to the sugar factory.

Now,

For those of you who don't know what the sugar factory is,

It's exactly how it sounds.

It's an extravagant place.

It's all things sugar.

And when the restaurant first opened,

It was the most popular post on Instagram.

I mean,

People go there from all places of the world.

They come here for this.

So I don't eat sugar,

Right?

And when we got closer to the night,

I'm thinking like,

Oh my God,

What I can't even like,

What are we going to do there?

So I tried to convince her to go to a different restaurant.

One,

That- Usually very convincing.

That I liked,

But also my angle there was it was across the street from the American Doll store.

Win-win,

Right?

And we'd get to eat at a place that we'd probably both enjoy,

Me maybe more.

And we should go to her favorite store.

She looked at me and she very calmly said,

Well,

We can do both.

And I'm thinking,

No,

We're not going to do both because we don't have time for that.

I'm not going to go to two restaurants.

Anyway.

What struck me in that moment is that she wanted to give to me,

Right?

And she also wanted to be able to give to herself.

And I thought that was such an amazing balance of giving and receiving.

She didn't sacrifice her joy or her desires or happiness for sharing with me or giving to me.

And I think that that's why often people don't necessarily give because they don't feel good in their giving because their giving is complicated and it has all of these other things that are,

That it's about.

It's not about giving to really share,

Right?

And especially if we don't give to ourselves,

Then it gets very complicated.

For sure.

And I'm thinking that one of the very few things that it says that you can actually test the system and there's actually a verse where the creator says,

Test me in this regard.

If you give with the right consciousness,

You should see the relative immediate blessings from it.

And like you said,

Scientifically,

It's also proven and there must be a reason behind that,

That the action of sharing by and within itself generates a good feeling,

A physically good feeling for the individual.

Warm glow effect.

Warm glow effect.

It just sounds nice to.

Yes.

I would,

And I would,

And I would take that a step further to our listeners.

Giving in the consciousness of which we spoke about that,

That it's not mine and if I have to share it,

You know,

From my gifts that it would remain with me to be,

To,

To be alive and generate joy and fulfillment.

And also I can get even more money by giving more.

Try it.

This is one of the things that,

That I believe that if you.

No downside,

Certainly.

Yeah.

Well,

You could be out your whatever,

Your time or your money.

But,

But this is a very provable practice.

So I would strongly,

Strongly recommend it.

And again,

The reality is this.

Are you really enjoying all of your gifts?

Are more importantly,

Are you enjoying them to the degree that you're meant?

If not,

Try this because I can,

I can,

We can say from our own experience and the experience for so many others that this works.

This works as a way,

Again,

Not to be a spiritual person or a good person,

But this works as a way for me to generate more enjoyment and fulfillment from the gifts that I have.

And it also allows me to reveal more powerfully who I am.

So there is a story I want,

Do you have another idea you want to talk about?

No,

No,

No,

But I wanted to share.

But I do want to share.

This is one of the most inspiring things I've read in a really long time.

Wow.

Did you show this movie before?

No,

I didn't.

I'm excited.

She's a runner.

I love another question.

Will I enjoy it then?

Not being a runner?

Yes,

Sweetie,

Because this is about kindness.

Okay.

I'll enjoy that.

Okay.

So her name is Jacqueline Nitepe Kiplamo.

And she's an elite marathon runner and she was running a race in China.

And she's won many races.

First prize winner,

This prize was $10,

000 if she won.

And she's running and she's way ahead of the pack.

And she runs past a male runner at the 10 kilometer mark.

And he's- How long was this run?

It was a marathon.

Okay.

So anyway,

She runs past a runner who has a disability.

He didn't have arms past his elbows and he was severely dehydrated because he couldn't hydrate.

So while everybody,

If you're running a race,

You get people who are giving you cups or you can get your drink from your pack and you have access to that.

And he just wasn't set up properly and she could see he was struggling.

And she also saw that if she didn't stop to help him,

He would not finish the race.

So what she did until she got to 28 kilometers,

She ran alongside him and she fed him water.

I don't know,

It makes me really emotional because it wasn't just,

Let's say a marathon.

This is her career,

Right?

And she could win $10,

000 and she needed the money.

And a lot of other people ran past him and she ran alongside him and fed him water.

And he did finish the race and then she finished second place,

But she clearly is the winner.

And I think that that is where I certainly want to aspire to be.

We never know what we're going to do in any given situation.

And I think that the only way that we can be sure that we would make that kind of choice is if we practice giving,

Sharing kindness in every single way.

You have to look for it.

It has to be a choice.

And I think that force yourself,

Find a community or because our environment influences us also.

Find a space,

A place where you know people are like-minded and you can even do something once a week together or once a month.

Just start everywhere until it becomes something that you practice daily.

Absolutely.

To our listeners,

I would say the most important reason to desire every single day to make it our life's purpose to share,

Because if you want to have the most amazing life,

If you want to have the most joy,

The most fulfillment with everything that you have,

The only way,

It's that simple I believe,

Is by making sure that you're giving of them,

Of it.

And then you can have truly,

Again,

I think that motivation,

Because again,

I think that the spiritual motivation to be a good person and so on,

That's nice and that'll get you to give once a year maybe,

Maybe taxis or whatever.

But what we're talking about is making it the way of life.

And the reason you want to make it a way of life is because you want to enjoy life and it's the only way.

And also I think that let's not assume somebody else is going to do it.

I mean,

She could have kept running and assumed somebody else would have helped him.

I think we do it a lot in life.

Instead,

Every time we see somebody,

What's the opportunity there?

And kindness goes hand in hand with giving and sharing.

So if your Amazon delivery comes,

Make it a point to even recognize the person that's working so hard to get your packages to you.

There's countless ways every day where we can do that.

There's a quote from,

Remember the show MASH?

Sure.

It was one of my favorite shows.

I liked it too.

It was kind of depressing,

But I would watch it like before bed.

So everything was green and khaki color.

I think that was probably- You filled it in Malibu.

That's why you didn't like it?

I think that's why it affected my- You didn't like the style choices?

No,

It was just like,

You know how sensitive I am to color and- I'm a big Alan Alda fan.

But I think he said it in one of the episodes.

He said,

It's nice to be nice to the nice.

Right?

Okay,

That's fine.

Right?

I think it's a lot of those ways,

But really we're speaking about something much,

Which it just speak nice to everybody.

And ultimately for your benefit,

For your greatest,

Greatest life.

So- Oh,

And I do also want to challenge,

I think our listeners in this month,

Right?

Because it's December 1st and- Again,

Or whenever you're listening to this podcast.

But for one month,

Whatever month that is,

Right?

Make a commitment to yourself to practice radical kindness,

Meaning give,

Share ridiculously to everyone and anyone.

One month challenge.

And test it and see if you're not happier and see if you're not enjoying the rest of your gifts even more.

One month,

One month.

Yeah.

And there's no,

I promise you there's no way that's not going to happen.

There's no way.

So I'd like to share a story sent in by one of our,

Romina,

One of our listeners.

And again,

Please continue to send your questions,

Your stories,

Your comments.

Dear Monica and Michael.

I want to share a bit about how Cabal and especially both of you have positively affected my life.

I've been a student for six years in Caracas,

Venezuela.

And Cabal has opened new eyes to see life,

Especially giving to others.

So it's not coincidental.

I was actually going to read this last episode,

But thankfully we did have time and I'm reading it now.

This year,

2020,

With all the social distancing,

Lockdown and our Venezuelan domestic issues,

I decided it was a good opportunity to see me.

Something very scary popped up.

I do not know who I am.

I focus so much on giving to others,

People,

Family,

Friends,

Clients,

Projects.

I totally forgot about myself,

Interestingly,

Right?

Because giving to ourselves is also a very important part of giving.

Right.

That was the Abigail story.

She wanted to give to me,

But she also wanted to give to her.

Right.

During the past year,

I worked on improving relations with people around me.

But as Monica says,

It starts with me.

Though I progressed with improving relations with other people,

The key issue was missing.

The idea to work on my relationship with other people came about when I understood that the secret to a fulfilled life is to share and to give to others.

Something is as if she has already heard this podcast,

Something I completely avoided doing due to a very bad childhood experiences.

I've been a loner most of my life.

And at school,

I was the one kids laughed at and rejected because of the horrible pain that I felt,

I decided to withdraw from my classmates and discovered comforting books.

I would spend my lunch and recess time inside the school library.

Of course,

I felt a lot of resentment towards my classmates.

However,

I needed to be noticed somehow.

So I became very competitive and worked really hard to excel at whatever came my way.

This behavior continued for many years until having the merit,

In Michael's words,

To be a student of Kabbalah.

I understood the need to relate to people,

Not out of interest,

But love.

It has been a great journey so far.

With Monica's three day seminar for her latest book,

I realized that yes,

I had made progress,

But I needed to take a step further.

How do I relate with myself?

And I discovered that I barely know myself,

A great challenge and one that has been rewarding,

But also painful.

I very much appreciate both your influence in my life,

Although we are miles and miles apart.

Michael's teachings have given me the foundation to keep pursuing my spiritual work.

Monica has been a beacon of light as I can identify with her in many ways,

Especially choosing me first and knowing me first.

Your book and workbook,

Rethink Love,

Have been the means to explore,

Work and discover me.

What a nice letter you've chosen to share.

And again,

Any of our listeners who have not yet purchased Rethink Love,

Run to Amazon right away and purchase one and many copies for your friends at Rethink Club.

I hesitated in reaching out to you because one of the things that I did as a child was to lose my voice.

In order to change this,

One of the first step I chose to work on was to express my gratitude and appreciation to and for people.

So thank you,

Monica and Michael,

For sharing wisdom,

Knowledge,

Stories,

Experiences,

Yourselves and your beautiful family.

With love,

Romina.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Romina.

And like we often say when we get,

And we do get so many of these letters,

It inspires us,

Motivates us.

So please continue setting letters,

Whether it's appreciation,

Whether it's questions,

Whether it's your stories.

We love to share them with our listeners.

Can keep on sending your questions to monicaandmichaelatcaballo.

Com.

Make sure that you keep going to Apple Podcasts,

Wherever you get your podcasts,

Five star reviews,

Write reviews,

Share this podcast with as many people as you can.

And as I often say,

We do this because of the light and the wisdom,

Hopefully,

And maybe some joy,

Maybe a few laughs that it brings to our listeners.

And we hope that you enjoy this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Bye.

Reviews

This was a fun episode! I learned more than expected about how I want to feel through giving. I feel renewed after your stories and banter. Your relationship is wonderful and amazing. I’m thankful for you and your family. Many blessings and lots of love! 🥰🌸