Rabbit Hole - Reclaiming Your Self Confidence

Tap into our voice and body in ways that empower and enliven our lives and our creativity. Learn ways to avoid the inner critic trap. Join Sunday Muse on this creative & meditative journey using the voice & body to explore wholeness in our everyday lives.

Transcript

Hi everyone,

My name is Sunday Muse.

Welcome to the talk today on Rabbit Hole.

So,

Rabbit Hole.

Rabbit Hole spelled W-H-O-L-E.

I chose that for a reason,

Because I think there is a great deal of wholeness that comes when we are really with our falling down in the rabbit hole,

Although it does not feel that way when we're actually falling or in the rabbit hole.

I believe a lot of the triggers from loss or relationship stuff,

Anything,

Anything at all can really trigger this part of us.

And I really think that a lot of it has to do with the inner critic and how much control it's taking over at certain points in our lives and how those triggers trigger an aspect of our history where we might have been shut down in the past,

And it's hard to see straight in the present.

So I'll just ask everyone just to take a breath,

Always.

It's important into your belly.

Just land.

Even the,

Um,

Just the words rabbit hole can set off all kinds of alarm bells for us.

So I ask that we,

We go in as brave,

Curious warriors,

Like adventurers,

Into this topic of rabbit hole that we may see it from somewhat of a playful place,

Perhaps an Alice in Wonderland place.

And when I say that,

I don't mean to bypass it.

I just mean to keep that aspect of ourselves alive and curious so that there isn't a shutdown or a push away from the actual topic.

So my own experience with rabbit holes,

I have many,

And I'm sure you do too.

My music and my teaching comes from a deep need in me and has for many years,

A deep need for me to come out of what I would call a vocal hiding.

And what do I mean by that?

Well,

You may go,

You may go down,

You may go down the rabbit hole during a transition in your life,

A loss,

A breakup,

Or during the best day you've ever had,

And then suddenly someone or something triggers you.

And then you may live in the rabbit hole for a long time and not even really know it.

For me,

This journey of coming out of vocal hiding is a big topic,

And it's not one that I will cover all in this talk.

But there's aspects of me that have felt like they've been in a rabbit hole.

I hope that makes sense to you listening.

It's like not all of me is in a rabbit hole.

There are aspects of my creative life that have,

It's almost like they've been in a cage,

Like in a hole somewhere.

They've been dormant.

They've been taken over by inner critic,

They've been judged,

They've been hiding away.

Like if you see it literally,

Like an aspect of you is pushed away,

Is just hiding.

And so that longing for me to wake those parts of me up has been quite a journey.

And as they've woken up and continue to wake up,

There is a lot of stuff that I've had to feel and had to deal with.

It's been very confrontational,

But it has been a journey of those parts of me coming out of vocal hiding,

Coming out of a kind of rabbit hole,

And more into the living,

Into the physical.

It's like parts of me coming online.

I'm sure you've heard that expression.

So a rabbit hole,

You know,

Just even today,

One of the ways that I fall in,

And maybe you relate,

Is I get so overwhelmed.

I'm a very creative person.

I have so many creative downloads.

There's so many things I love to do.

And sometimes it's like a big cesspool of stuff.

And I literally feel like the image is like,

I'm being pulled in 1000 directions at the same time,

And they all are kind of good.

And they all kind of need me.

And I can't,

I kind of need to go in all those directions.

And then what happens is that the actual primary thing that really needs my attention isn't able to get done because I'm so overwhelmed.

And sometimes I have a complete meltdown.

And I had one earlier today.

And in the meltdown,

It was like this feeling of,

I can't do it all,

As though I was talking to somebody who was telling me that I was supposed to do it all.

So in the in the tears in the meltdown,

I can't do it all.

Like,

Who is it that I'm talking to?

I'm talking to some form of inner critic,

Super ego that's like,

Telling me that I'm supposed to be able to do it all by myself without any help.

So there's a number one thing about the rabbit hole.

Somehow we feel we have we get trapped and we have to do it on our own.

We have to do everything on our own,

Feel it,

We have to work out the trigger on our own.

And as much as I know,

Like a lot of us get help,

And we have help.

There are times when we feel like we don't and we can't even ask for it.

And so I was caught earlier today in that very thing of like,

I'm supposed to do this on my own.

Well,

Who says?

And the only way out of the rabbit hole,

I,

Let me just refrain,

It is not the only way out.

One of the ways out of the rabbit hole is to is to ask for help,

Is to text that person that you need some help dealing with your overwhelm,

Or dealing with the trigger.

Or maybe you need to talk to your therapist,

Or maybe you need to talk to a really good friend who sees you,

Or maybe you need to drop everything and go out for a walk in nature and just breathe and don't do anything that's on your agenda that day.

Maybe,

Maybe that's what you need.

So it's like this pulling back and going,

You know,

Who is it that's telling me I'm no good?

Or I don't have,

I don't have what it takes?

Or nobody likes me?

Or I don't belong?

Who is it that's saying that?

And when we get in touch with that,

Sometimes again,

We need some help to get there.

But when we get in touch with that,

It's not that we just pop out of the rabbit hole.

But we get in touch with this,

The feelings underneath the things that are really difficult,

That,

That,

That are,

That are influencing that inner critic voice.

And so when we diffuse it,

The inner critic becomes less popular in the schoolyard.

We don't need to,

We understand something more about ourselves,

Our,

Our capability and our capacity.

Yeah.

So that's just a little bit on the rabbit hole.

I could go on for days about the topic as well as the inner critic.

But this is meant as,

As a means of perhaps you're waking up this way today.

And perhaps something that is being spoken here just illuminates.

That's my,

That's my wish.

So when parts of ourselves aren't acknowledged,

And,

You know,

Oftentimes there's a trigger there,

And it's kind of sore,

And we can easily go down the rabbit hole.

Being objective really,

Really helps in coming in,

Coming out,

Finding that objectivity.

And just to define what is the rabbit hole,

You know,

We've taken something very personally,

It poses a kind of threat to our well being.

We believe it's about us,

And we start to see the whole world as this hopeless place,

All colored by our personal history.

How do we know we're falling?

Well,

Hint number one,

We're consumed by negative thoughts.

We're following the guidance of the inner critic.

We're totally consumed by judgments toward ourselves.

We may even feel hatred toward ourselves,

Toward others,

Toward the world,

Then we feel shame.

Part of the body may feel frozen.

Sometimes you start to feel like you're disappearing.

And that's a very scary feeling.

Sometimes you want to distract yourself with food or alcohol and like it's a consumption,

Like you just can't,

You're like,

Where's the chocolate?

You know,

Where is it?

Where is it?

Get it and get it in,

You know,

Like get it in fast.

Something's bugging,

You know,

Something's triggered.

And then what I was talking about just before is like,

You're in a state of overwhelm.

And the overwhelmed voice is the driver.

All you see is gloom and doom.

So just take a breath.

Those are ways in which we bring awareness to and we track our inner critic.

And we track what's happening as we're falling.

Does it mean we can just snap out of it?

No,

But sometimes yes.

Sometimes yes.

Sometimes it is literally,

It is literally mind over matter.

Sometimes.

What's it feel like when you fall in?

You become kind of separate from reality.

You don't feel like you exist.

You might feel disoriented,

Crooked inside your body.

Like,

Like you have a hood pressing down,

A heavy hood pressing down on your head.

You know that feeling?

Have you ever felt that?

You feel really alone,

Like existential alone-ism.

Alone-ism.

I kind of like that.

Alone-ism.

And sometimes you feel really bloated in your belly,

Really like painful in your belly.

Like you can't really feel it.

Everything feels,

Or it feels kind of wrong down there.

How can you prevent falling or come out from when you've already fallen?

Well,

Some ways that we'll just quickly explore today together.

Exploring opposites.

Fast,

Slow,

Slowing down.

That's a big one.

Intentionally slowing down,

Feeling the feelings.

Qigong,

Tai Chi.

These are slower movements.

Find an amazing teacher on Insight Timer who teaches Qigong and Tai Chi,

Something that helps you slow down.

It's an effort to feel,

Not just to do the poses,

Right?

And then the other one that might help is we do a ha,

The sound H-A,

Ha,

From your belly center,

Which we're going to do together.

Humor.

Honestly,

Sometimes humor takes us right out.

It's quite amazing.

A great funny movie,

Something that makes you laugh.

It doesn't always work,

But sometimes it does.

Making animal sounds in the belly.

That's my cheetah,

My inner cheetah.

But it feels really good.

These are very kid-like things,

But they're incredibly potent as adults.

We are all kids in there after all.

And sometimes we just need to pray,

Like hard pray or sing.

So we're going to do some ha from the belly.

And the purpose of this is to really get in touch with the belly,

The sound H-A,

Like you're karate chopping.

In fact,

Use your arms if you can,

Like as though you're literally ha,

Like karate chop in front of you.

That will really help wake something in your center up if you need it today.

Okay,

So here we go.

You can do it in your own time or follow me,

However you like.

Right in the belly.

Feel the belly.

Here we go.

We're going to go ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

It's like no nonsense.

Try it again.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Slice the air in front of you,

Above your head,

To your sides.

Here we go.

In front.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Above your head.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

To the side.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

With your arms.

Other side.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Right back to the center.

Feel your belly.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Drop your voice.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Feel your power.

Feel your belly center waking up.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Pulse it.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Great.

Take a big breath into your belly.

Release on sound.

Great work.

Notice what you notice.

Do you feel a little bit more space?

Do you feel a bit lightheaded?

If so,

That means that something's waking up in your breath,

In your oxygen,

And maybe you feel some,

Sometimes even people start to burp because some of the trapped air starts to come up.

So do you feel a sense of yourself in the room that you're in right now?

Do you feel a sense of your left and right beside you,

Above you,

And below you?

Is anything slightly different?

A little more claiming of your space?

So sometimes we do ha,

And sometimes we do a mantra.

This is a mantra that works for me,

That I put together,

And I'm going to share it with you.

And it's a simple melody.

You can listen.

We'll do it several times,

And then please blend your voice and sing in.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

Repeat.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

Bring all your voice,

Full voice,

As loud as you can.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

I am worthy.

I am strong.

I exist.

I belong.

Let that settle.

Notice what you feel.

Notice where you feel it.

And sometimes,

Folks,

We just need to sing.

We just need to come out.

We just need to soothe our soul.

We need to remind ourselves that we are here.

We are alive.

We are human.

We are going through a moment,

A trigger,

A fuzzy spot.

We are not alone.

And sometimes the singing,

The not talking,

But the singing,

The melodic sounds coming from the body,

Connect us to something in the realm of the divine.

Even when we don't feel it,

Even when we don't feel like singing or touching that,

We do it anyway.

I invite you to show up anyway.

Just try it.

So we're going to sing.

And the words are from,

The words are I am here,

I am home from Thich Nhat Hanh.

Just a repetition.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

I am here.

I am home.

So a little sound,

A little movement,

A little rumble in your belly,

A little bit of creating space,

A little bit of adventure.

Put your adventure goggles on,

Your curiosity.

Thank you for being brave and showing up.

I hope you went for it.

And if not today,

Maybe another day.

I hope something of this talk inspired you.

And I'd like to thank Shannon Michael Terry for the soundtracks that were used today.

And I'd like to thank you for being here.

That completes the talk on Rabbit Hole.

May you thrive and may you come alive.